Page 11

CHAPTER 11

Jayce regretted his outburst as soon as the hotel room door slammed shut.

How many times had his friends yelled at him for hanging on to the past? Too many to count. So much so that they had finally stopped ragging on him. They didn’t bother to question his apartment when they settled down in Seattle. At this point, they were used to his grumpy ass constantly torturing himself because of Jasmine's words.

Fifteen years later and he was still holding on to the hurt like it happened yesterday. He needed to stop. If he wanted to have any kind of future with his son, he needed to be a better person and that started with apologizing to Kennedy.

He rushed out of the hotel room and headed straight for the elevator. When the doors didn't immediately open after hitting the button three times like an impatient toddler, he opted for the stairwell. He deserved the extra pain the stairwell forced on him after what he said to Kennedy.

The hurt in her eyes when he snapped at her was a knife to the organ that he didn't know still worked. Sure, it pumped blood throughout his body, that was its main function after all, but to care about someone? To have feelings? His heart hadn't known that purpose in a very long time.

He burst through the stairwell door and straight into the lobby causing several side and concerned glances. He probably looked like a deranged psychopath on the run. He gave them a smile to calm their nerves, but based on the way they stepped back, he missed the mark. With his luck they would call the police. He needed to get to the parking lot before that could happen.

Jayce took off across the short lobby in a sprint. If the other guests thought he was deranged, then who was he to prove them wrong? If he stopped to really think about what was happening in his life, there was a good chance he was actually crazy.

He just found out he had a son, and the woman who was bringing his heart back to life was the sister of the man who raised his son. If that didn't qualify for a little insanity, then he didn't know what would.

It didn't take him long to find Kennedy. She was sitting in a parking spot not far from the main entrance. Her car was running but her forehead was leaning against the steering wheel. He didn't mean to scare her, but she jumped when he rapped his knuckle against the driver’s side glass.

It was then that he saw the tears in her eyes and he wanted to kick his own ass all over again. Tears were his kryptonite. Jasmine used to wield them like a weapon against him and he thought he had hardened himself against the offensive droplets.

Apparently not. At least, not when it came to this woman.

Jayce yanked the door open and squatted down so that he was looking up at her. Just the way it should be.

"I'm sorry I'm such a jerk."

She tried to brush away the tears, to hide her feelings from him, but he stopped her movements. If anyone was going to relieve her of those, it would be him. He owed her that much at least.

"I'm sorry I called you callous."

He ran his thumb along the apple of her cheek. "You don't need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. People have been calling me callous for years. It doesn't bother me because I know it's true."

She didn't look like she understood, so he continued. "It was you talking about what a home should be and how it represented a person that set me off. My ex-wife only cared about her image, as I'm sure you know. She would constantly throw it in my face that I didn't care about providing her with nice things or that I didn't give enough of a shit what kind of house we lived in. I grew up dirt poor. I was happy to have a house that wasn't falling apart, but that was never good enough for her. I know I need to have someplace good for Michael to come to, that's why I'm doing this, but no, I don't care what the inside looks like, as long as it's better than what I have now."

He didn't know if that helped his cause or not, but it was the truth. If there was one thing he was insistent on, it was that people didn't lie to him, and he didn't lie to others.

It was several moments before she spoke. "I can only imagine how badly Jasmine screwed with you but I'm not her. I don't give a shit about materialistic things. Hell, I live with my brother because it was easier to help him then it was to keep my own space. Plus, it pissed Jasmine off and I was all about that."

That made his lips turn up a bit. He wouldn't call it a smile but he was working on it. "Really not a fan, huh?"

She closed her eyes and dropped her head back on the seat with a groan. "Not at all. I don't know how Shaun put up with her for so long." Her eyes popped back open. "I know you don't like my brother, but I promise, this isn't his fault."

"I know it's not. No one understands Jasmine's manipulations better than I do. I'm glad I'm getting the chance now to make up for all the things I missed out on. I don't want to ruin it by holding on to a grudge."

If his friends could hear him, they wouldn't believe the words he just uttered. Bitterness was practically his modus operandi.

"I should probably get going. People are going to start giving us weird looks if I sit here any longer."

"Or you could come back upstairs and we could talk more about those ideas you have for the house?"

He watched the indecision play out in her eyes but he didn't say more. He didn't do anything to sway her either way. She needed to come to him, to be fully aware of what she was getting herself into, and he didn't just mean the house.

Jayce was a broken man. He never cared to fix the messed-up parts of himself. Not for Jasmine. Not for his friends. And certainly not for himself.

Now he wanted to, and it wasn't just for his son. It was also for the woman who challenged him at every turn.

"Okay." She turned the car off and looked him in the eyes. "Let's go talk and see how I can help you."

If only she understood the full impact of those words.

He pushed off the seat and stood to his full height, while offering his hand to her. Jayce didn't let her pull away once she was standing. Instead he intertwined their fingers and headed back into the hotel.

Thankfully, no one had called the cops for a crazy man sprinting through the place. People still gave him strange looks but they were less call the cops , and more intrigued by the new development.

Jayce understood how these people felt.

He waited until they were back in his room before he spoke again. "You've gone quiet on me."

Just like the first time she came up, she kicked her shoes off next to the bed and climbed up onto it until her back was against the headboard. It was crazy how much he liked having her there.

"I never know what to expect from you. I feel like it's been a roller-coaster ride since the moment I met you."

He guffawed at that. "We didn't exactly meet on the best terms. If I remember correctly, you didn't like me from the moment you saw me."

Her cheeks turned a cute shade of red. "That's because Shaun was freaking out before you arrived and then the first words out of your mouth were condescending. I only reciprocated."

Yeah, he hadn't exactly given the best first impression. That was nothing new for him though. There was a reason he was never introduced to clients or agencies until after they met his friends. The guys knew he would probably be an asshole and fuck something up. It never bothered him because diplomacy wasn't his thing. Getting the job done was.

"I'll give you that one and I guess I can see how you would think I've been all over the place. I've never felt so many different things in a short period of time. To be honest, I haven't felt anything in years. I hardened my heart a long time ago."

The expression on her face looked a lot like pity and that was something he never wanted. "Don't you dare feel bad for me. Yes, Jasmine fucked me up with how she left but it was my choice to shut down and push everyone away. It didn't start with her. She was the catalyst that finally pushed me over the edge."

The pity in her eyes didn't go away.

"Will you tell me how it started?"

If it had been anyone else asking him that question, he would've shut down immediately. People were nosy bastards by nature. He didn't get that feeling from Kennedy.

"I already told you, I was raised dirt poor. My mama was one of the good ones but she chose to stay with a shitty husband. My father was the devil himself. A mean drunk and even meaner when he was sober because that's when all his problems surfaced. He couldn't hold down a job to save his life. My mama tried to support us but it was never enough. My father would piss it away on alcohol or his next get-rich-quick scheme. I vowed to be different. I joined the Army and saved every penny I could."

"And Jasmine hated that," Kennedy correctly assumed.

"She did. To her, if there was five dollars in the bank, then she had to spend four dollars and fifty cents of it. She didn't know the meaning of savings and forget military housing. She wanted something better. Something bigger and nicer. She wanted to show off what she had. See, we came from similar backgrounds, but where I was compelled to save, she was compelled to show off how far she had come.

“It was just one of the many things we fought about in our marriage and should've been a sign for me to get out. Instead I stayed and had my heart smashed in the process.”

If you had left, you wouldn't have Michael.

"You mean she wanted to show off how far you had come? Unless she worked while the two of you were married because she sure as hell didn't while married to my brother."

Jayce huffed. "No, she didn't work while we were married, even though she could have. She always used the excuse it was important she spent time with the other military wives. Especially the officers’ wives."

So many signs he had missed. He had thought countless times that it was just a phase; that eventually she would get over needing to show off that she was better than her upbringing but it never happened. Now he realized it was just her personality.

"Can I ask what you saw in her? Because after a decade and a half, I still couldn't find a single decent quality." Kennedy's hands flew up to cover her mouth. "I shouldn't have asked that." She waved her arms out in front of her. "Please forget that came out of my mouth."

"No, it's okay. It's a fair question and the only thing I can come up with is I was young and stupid. We had similar childhoods, so I thought that gave us common ground. At the start of our relationship, she gave me what I thought I needed. Someone to take care of me the way my father never did for our family. It wasn't until later on I realized she was a leech and would only take. Never contribute. Then, in the end, she took the one thing from me I always wanted. A family."

He wanted, needed , to prove that he could be a better father than the one he was stuck with. Jasmine stole that from him. Now he was being given a second chance and he refused to fuck it up.

And it all started with having a stable home for Michael to come visit.