Page 14

V ivienne screamed as she smacked the wood floor with a thud. She glanced around the room and her shoulders relaxed with the familiar surroundings. The sheets and comforter were tangled around her legs and had cushioned her fall. It had been two weeks since she’d been at Iron’s house. A week since Hannah, Collin, and Branch had returned home from Texas. Pounding footsteps sounded down the hall and her bedroom door flew open.

“Jesus, Vee.” Iron’s deep voice thick with concern had warmth filling her chest. No matter how many times she woke him up with the reoccurring nightmare he always rushed to her side. No one had ever treated her like Iron did. Iron would tell her the bar wasn’t set very high because she’d been raised by a gaggle of abusive assholes. She’d say he was dead wrong. Iron listened when she talked. Took her thoughts into consideration. He cared about her feelings and had even helped her find a therapist to work through what he told her was a childhood controlled by two narcissists. She hadn’t realized how twisted her upbringing was until she’d entered the real world. Iron’s world. A place where she could say, eat, and act exactly how she wanted with no fear of repercussions.

“Was it the nightmare again?” Iron asked, scooping her up.

“Yeah. I’m sorry to keep waking you up. At least this time, I fell before Regina pulled the trigger.” Regina had been arraigned and was awaiting trial on two counts of attempted murder.

“You know I don’t give a shit if you wake me up.” He placed her in the center of the bed and began untangling the sheets, covering her neatly and tucking the fabric in at the sides. It was another thing he did that made her feel cared for. He had no idea how nurturing and gentle he was. No, the hardened SEAL veteran would not care for that description. She smiled at the thought.

“What’s that smirk for?” The mattress dipped with his weight. He would sit on the edge and talk to her when she awoke from a nightmare, but despite their frequent heated kisses, he’d never once tried to lay down beside her.

“Just wondering if you know how generous and kind you’ve been to me.”

A familiar crease formed between his brows and the corners of his lips fell into a scowl. He really disliked being thanked or getting compliments.

“I’m neither of those things, Vee.” He shook his head, eyes solemn. “I don’t do a thing I don’t want to do.”

“Okay.” He still didn’t believe all the goodness she saw in him—but he seemed to be opening up. She wasn’t stupid, despite what her family said of her. Iron had deep-seated issues. Some he’d overcome by himself, like his addiction. Others she wanted to help him overcome, or at least live more peacefully with those demons, just like he’d had done for her.

“Think you can fall back asleep?”

“Not a chance,” she sighed. If she was a better person, she would’ve told Iron she was fine and let him go back to bed, but lately she’d been craving more time with him.

The corner of his lips twitched. “Want to watch the sunrise?”

“Yes, please.” She threw off the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “If you don’t mind. I know it’s super early, and—”

“Vee.” His voice was more of a low growl.

“Right. I forgot. You don’t do anything you don’t want to do.” She suppressed the smile that wanted to creep over her face.

He nodded. “I’ll make the coffee while you get ready.” The bed creaked as he stood. “Vanilla caramel or coconut crème?”

Iron had introduced her to the magic of coffee creamers, and she was addicted. No oat or almond milk here. Not that Iron wouldn’t have gotten it if she asked or taken her to the market to get it herself. “Surprise me.” She stood up as he shut the door with a soft click. The grocery store was another new experience for her. Her family had a cook make all their meals. Every calorie she consumed was calculated meticulously by someone else to ensure she was the perfect size for the modeling agency, the pageant dresses, the perfect angles on social media. She hadn’t wanted or chosen to do any of those things, but she did want to please her parents who were constantly disappointed in her lack of academic success.

She opened the top drawer and removed clothes for the day. Jeans, a T-shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt in case the beach got uncomfortable. Sometimes, a company wanted her to do a social media campaign or model casual clothing, but they were never allowed to be part of her home wardrobe.

Thinking of her wardrobe made her think of Thalia, which made her stomach sink. The two SEALs Iron knew had been gathering intel about her possible whereabouts. She’d spoken with the men over Zoom, where she learned both of her parents had been brought in for additional questioning, leading to a raid of their estate. Several undocumented employees they believed were part of a labor-trafficking ring were given a haven to apply for legal citizenship. It was hard to believe her family had so many dark secrets. Red and Sully were going back into Mexico at the end of the week, and she hoped with everything she had that Thalia would be found.

She shed her night clothes and pulled on the denim and cotton, relishing the feel of the cozy fabric against her skin. In Iron’s world, she could wear these things without a complaint from anyone. After she’d dressed, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, then ran a comb through her hair. No one came to primp the strands into an elegant style with curlers and straighteners. No one applied a flawless application of makeup. She was simply…herself, and that felt really good. She frowned. Thalia would want her to be happy, but it was hard when she didn’t know where her friend was or what she was going through.

She left the bedroom and walked down the short hallway to the kitchen, feeling more at home in Iron’s space than she ever did at her family’s estate. From the gray-washed wood floors to the deep, comfy couch in the living room, everything in the house was meant to be used. No formal sitting room, no crystal waiting for the slightest movement to make it fall and shatter. Iron was standing in front of the coffeemaker, twisting the lid onto a thermos.

“All set?” he asked, putting the drink down on the counter. When Iron turned and directed his gaze at her, something sparked in his eyes. The way his expression lit and softened at the same time made flutters erupt in her belly. She wanted him, but each time he started to lose control, or she started to take things further, he held back. She felt such a strong connection to him that it stole her breath. Where she felt breathless excitement when it came to Iron, she wasn’t sure what he was feeling right now or why he kept putting on the brakes in their physical relationship—something that was beginning to weigh on her shoulders.

“Yes.” Her voice was a bit too high pitched, and chipper, and Iron’s eyes instantly narrowed. It was difficult to hide anything from him.

“What’s wrong?” He unplugged the coffeemaker and moved toward her.

“Why do you think something’s wrong?” Her therapist had encouraged her to talk to Iron about her growing feelings, but she was afraid of losing him all together.

“Because whenever something bothers you inside, you try to deflect it on the outside,” he grumbled.

“Oh.” She bit her bottom lip between her teeth, and Iron hissed out a breath. He was grumpy this morning, not that she blamed him. It was the before sunrise on the weekend, and they were attending a wedding tonight for Hannah’s good friend Brynn and her fiancé Ransom. She’d met some of the other men on Branch’s team last week at a barbeque and had fallen head over heels in love with Ransom’s brother, Jacob, whose sarcastic quips on his AAC device had her relaxed and laughing well into the evening.

“You don’t need to hide from me Vee. If you’re upset about something, I want you to tell me. If you’re uncomfortable here and want to make a shift, I’ll help you do that.”

He had no idea how close his statement was to the thoughts rambling around in her head. The problem was she didn’t want to leave. She had already started to think of him as her best friend. She’d never been so free to share anything about herself as she did with Iron. Still, she wanted more.

“Don’t think I want you to leave. My house has felt more like a home since you’ve been here but if you wanted something different, if you wanted to move in with Hannah or look for an apartment you have to tell me, Vee.”

She nodded past the lump in her throat afraid if she’d open her mouth, he’d be tempted to probe further. She wanted him to want her to stay, but she also didn’t want to become the roommate he couldn’t get rid of. Iron moved to the side door that attached to the kitchen, flipped the dead bolts and held the door for her. The world was dark and quiet. The deck boards creaked slightly as she walked toward the beach. The planks were laid against the ground and soft sand spilled over onto the wood making it look like part of the landscape. Tall seagrass swayed against her legs as they walked up the narrow path to the top of the sand where two Adirondack chairs sat.

One was gray and weathered with age, and next to it was one fresh and brand new, yet to be tested by the elements. Iron had gone out and bought the chair so she would have a spot to sit when they watched sunrises and sunsets. Just another reminder of how he’d made space in his life for her. They sat down wordlessly, and he passed her a thermos. She breathed in the salty air dragging the briny mist into her lungs. A hint of brilliant gold was centered just above the dark velvet waves, and on either side a stroke of deep red painted the horizon. The way the colors faded into pinks and lavender reminded her of a melted Popsicle only twice as pretty. She unscrewed the top of the thermos and let the warm steam seep over her chilled skin. The sweet aromas of vanilla and coconut fragranced the air. She took a sip and sighed. No one made better coffee than Iron and he always made it a little extra sweet just for her.

“Can you guess what flavor?” Shadows played over his face making it difficult to see his expression, but she could hear the smile in his voice. She loved that his smile was coming more quickly these days.

“All of the above, and nothing has ever tasted sweeter. Except maybe the milkshakes we got with Hannah at the burger place the other day.”

“Those are pretty hard to beat.”

She smiled remembering the happy afternoon where they shared greasy burgers and fries at a picnic table outside of the restaurant. Collin had filled them in on the progress of the new pizza place his school was opening to give the students with disabilities a meaningful way to practice employment. She’d been thrilled when her nephew had invited her and Iron to help paint. Hannah had told her that the space for the shop had been rented—free of charge—by Iron. Apparently, he’d invested in real estate to expand his auto collision business. Another way Iron was far kinder than he made himself out to be. He lived for others.

They sat in comfortable silence, drinking their coffee and watching the sky become more saturated with bold and brilliant colors.

“Do you miss it?” Iron was staring out at the water.

She didn’t need to ask what he was talking about. He had asked her before if she missed her old life. “How could I when I’m getting to see the world in a totally different way? All I ever knew were stages and cameras and pretty dresses. Life is just so much more in your world.”

“So, no regrets?”

“Only that I didn’t make a stand sooner. I should have been brave and left like Hannah, but I didn’t know where to turn. She’s always been resourceful in ways that I’m not.” After another sip of her coffee she added, “And I’ve decided to wear a dress to the wedding tonight. Something that makes me smile. Something I choose.”

“Proud of you, sweetheart.”

Her stomach fluttered at the endearment. “Thank you,” she said softly. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to help her pick something out at one of the shops downtown but decided against it. This was for her to do. To pick something that brought her joy, and not someone else, even if that someone was Iron.

“There was another big crash on the interstate last night. I’m going to go into the shop for a few hours to help with all the insurance claims and paperwork, then we’ll head to the wedding. That okay?”

“Sounds good to me. Are you sure you won’t need the rental car today? It sounds like you might have some customers who need it more than me. You could drop me off at the shops and I could walk to Hannah’s after.” She’d been touched when Iron had insisted she have her own car at the house, so she didn’t feel trapped. To her, the cottage was a haven, though. A cozy nest away from all of life’s troubles. One she practically had to force herself to leave.

“No way you’re walking down that busy street. I want you to take the car. We have enough rental vehicles to keep us covered.” He stood up and stretched, then offered his hand. “Want to go inside?”

“I think I’m going to stay out for a few more minutes to finish my coffee.” She shot him a smile that she didn’t quite feel and looked out at the water. Leaving the security of Iron and the home that was a sanctuary left her limbs weighed down. Still, if there was any hope of having a relationship with him in the future, maybe he needed to see her as an independent woman who could stand on her own.

“Vee. Talk to me.”

She startled, sloshing coffee on her leg. Thankfully the liquid was warm, not hot.

“Are you okay? Did that burn?” He knelt at her feet, looking at her with concern. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew I was still here.”

She blew out a breath, annoyed with herself for being so preoccupied. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Vee, you’re scaring me, sweetheart. What’s going on?” Concern flooded his luminous eyes, and he sank down on his knees in the sand before her.

“I’m just thinking.” She tugged at her bottom lip, then soothed the pinch with her tongue. She directed her stare to him, but his eyes were already preoccupied with where she’d just licked her lips. He removed the coffee from her hand and twisted the cup into a spot on the sand. The warmth of his palms landed behind her knees, pulling her forward until her legs framed his body. He dragged her close, angling his head to take her mouth. His lips were slightly sweet from the coffee he just drank with a hint of salt. His tongue slid against hers, teasing, tempting. He swallowed her groan, taking the kiss deeper, before his hands gripped her hips and he pulled away.

“I can tell there’s something weighing on you.” His voice was low, eyes pleading with her.

“I’m afraid I’m misreading things between us.” She didn’t want to pressure or push him, but after being surrounded by so many people who tried to control her, she knew Iron was special. He accepted her unconditionally. Now that she’d acknowledged how unhealthy her relationships had been in the past, she had no hesitations about embracing what she found with Iron. She just needed to know he was with her.

“Like what?” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. He made quite a picture against the backdrop of the sunset. His light brown hair was tousled from her fingers running through it. His broad chest and shoulders blocked out where the sun had risen on the horizon, but she’d rather look at Iron’s masculine form over the sunrise any day. His eyes were steady on hers, waiting for her to continue.

“Like maybe one of us wants something different.” That hadn’t been exactly what she wanted to say, but it gave him an opening to discuss what she prayed he wouldn’t. That he was having second thoughts about taking their relationship further. That he wanted his space back but was afraid of hurting her feelings, so he kept it to himself. Over the past few days, she’d fought the urge to fall back into a cycle of making decisions based on what she thought Iron might want rather than her own desires. Of being positive and agreeable so she didn’t make waves. With Iron and the life she wanted at stake, she’d fight through a raging storm if only to get to the truth.

He rubbed the middle of his forehead and closed his eyes. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. Oh God, maybe they were on different pages. He’d just kissed her like he couldn’t stand to be apart from her, but now she wasn’t sure. Old insecurities raced to the surface as much as she tried to tamp them down.

He glanced up and met her gaze, but a pained expression had darkened his silver eyes to storm clouds. “I understand you might need space and time to decide what you want, but you should know that the past few weeks have been the best of my life.”

“Help me understand, then.” She shook her head and looked into his eyes. “The way you kiss me makes me feel like you want so much more, but every time I try to take things further, you step away. One second, I feel like you want me as badly as I want you, and the next you’re kissing me on the cheek and wishing me good night.”

He released a shuddery breath. “It’s been torture falling asleep knowing you’re just steps away. That even if we weren’t having sex, I could have your sweet, warm body tucked into mine. Make no mistake Vee, I want nothing more than to make love to you. To bury myself deep. Hear the sounds you make. Feel the way we move together. But know I also love having your lips on me. Making out with you on the couch is my new favorite pastime. I love coming home at the end of the day, because I know you’re here. I love talking to you about your day and the new things you’ve experienced. Everything about being with you feels right, but I know you have a whole world available to explore. People you’ve yet to meet. You deserve the chance to do that.”

A cool morning breeze caught the ends of her hair, tousling the strands. Maybe she was beginning to understand. This had nothing to do with Iron not wanting her, of her not being enough, and everything to do with his own insecurities. Being afraid of holding her back.

She took a deep breath. “Sometimes exploring what’s out there is more about recognizing the things you don’t want, when you find the one thing you absolutely do.”

A spark of light reentered his eyes. “What are you saying?” He took a breath and held it.

“I want a relationship with you, Iron, and I’m not willing to settle on half of you. If you still need time to work things out, I’ll wait as long as it takes, but I need to know if you feel this too. I want all of you. I don’t want to pretend anymore. Not in the life I live for myself or the one that’s intertwined with others.” She traced the sharp line of his cheek.

“Fuck.” The breath rushed from his lungs and his chest caved as he rested his head on her knees. “I was trying to give you time. Trying to make sure this relationship was what you wanted.” He released a breath. “And I can’t pretend those are the only reasons. I never thought I’d have a chance. I’ve been struggling to feel worthy of you. Afraid to connect only to possibly lose you.”

“It is what I want. You’re what I want. And as far as having the world to explore, I can’t imagine doing that without you by my side to enjoy it with.”

“I never meant to make you doubt what you’ve come to mean to me. I was trying to take things slow. I don’t want to hurt you, but I also know the power you hold. Be sure, Vee. Please, for my sake.” Having this strong warrior at her feet, pleading with her not to crush his heart was humbling.

“I’m sure, Iron. I’ve never felt this way before. About anyone. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He nodded and stood up. The wind whistled off the ocean, the strong gust catching a seagull beneath its wings and pushing it higher into the painted sky. Iron put his hand in his pocket and drew out his phone.

“Hey, Danny. I’m running late. See you around eleven.” He hung up the phone, tucked it back inside his pocket, and held out his hand. His gruff words over the phone had given her as much of a thrill as the way his gaze never left her face as he said them. She placed her palm against his and their fingers intertwined. She stood and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes, savoring Iron’s acceptance. His lips brushed her eye lids then the tip of her nose. Together, they started to walk down the path, her heart hammering with each step.

The house was warm despite the brisk end-of-summer morning. Light was glowing golden through the bay windows and those over the sink. The door clicked shut behind them and Iron twisted the dead bolt before turning into her. His pupils were blown out, only leaving a glimpse of gray fringing the edges. His hands quivered as he reached out to touch her face. He stared at her for one moment, then two, before his mouth crashed down.

His lips moved against hers, their tongues colliding in a rush to get closer. Her breasts felt swollen and heavy, aching to be touched. He picked her up in one fell swoop and began carrying her past the living room and down the hall, reminding her how powerful he was and how much he’d worked to adapt to his prosthetic. Iron was so much stronger than he knew. He passed by the bedroom she’d been staying in and went straight to his, placing her down on the comforter.

Before joining her, he tore off his sweatshirt and T-shirt, revealing the tattoos etched over his scarred skin and the hard muscle beneath. His biceps bulged as he held his weight above her, kissing her breathless. Bracing against one forearm on the mattress, he used the other hand to caress her stomach and ribs. He pushed the material of her bra up over her breasts, not bothering to fully remove it. When his lips closed over one hard point, she arched toward him. A slow smile built on his lips as he continued to tease her, grazing his teeth over her tight, sensitive skin before soothing it with his tongue. He sucked hard, drawing her deep into his mouth. Heat flooded her body, and she could feel wetness coating her. He released her with a popping sound and turned his attention to her other breast. She couldn’t concentrate on anything but the way his tongue continued to flick and tease. She wriggled beneath him, trying to ease the uncomfortable ache between her legs.

His hand worked beneath the fabric of her jeans, pushing them down over her hips. She struggled to help him, drawing them down with her feet before kicking them off.

“Are you still with me?” he growled against her skin.

There was a fluttering sensation in her chest. “Yes.” As soon as the word was out of her mouth, he flipped them, so she was straddling his torso. She’d seen some of his scars the few times they’d gone into the ocean. Each gouge was a sharp reminder of how close he’d come to dying on his last mission. He’d lost his leg, but he’d suffered other terrible injuries in the blast. She leaned closer, breathing in the fresh scent of his skin. Her hair curtained around his sides as she kissed over every old scar. His breath was coming fast, and once again, he put his hands behind her knees and dragged her forward until she was in an intimate position where all he had to do was lift his head to taste her.

“Hands on the headboard.”

She gripped the wooden frame and closed her eyes. His hands found her breasts, then stroked down her body, and in between her thighs. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He stroked her gently, gathering moisture from her center and teasing it over her clit. “It’s more though. The way you brighten up every space you enter.” He urged her forward and lifted his head, replacing his fingers with his tongue.

“How easy you can make me laugh,” he murmured, his lips against the sensitive nerves at the apex of her thighs. He flicked and stroked his tongue over her until she was rocking against him, too far gone to think about anything other than the tremble in her thighs. Something built and grew inside her, suspending her over the edge of some insurmountable feeling, then snapped. She hung onto the headboard as her body shook and Iron drew out every ounce of pleasure crashing through her.

“Beautiful, Vee.”

Instead of feeling tired from all the goodness he’d just wrung out of her, she wanted more. Her bare skin dragged over the rough material of his jeans, as she worked her way down his body. His pants were tight, the zipper of his jeans pressed outward. She stroked her hands over the taunt material, trailing over his hard length before fumbling with the button and zipper.

He helped her push off his pants and boxers, and his cock sprang forward. She leaned down trailing the tips of her hair over the leaking tip. He hissed out a breath and she lowered her mouth, swiping her tongue over the swollen head. She smiled when his hands fisted the comforter as she took him deeper, loving the hint of salt on her tongue. He groaned when she dragged the flat of her tongue up his shaft and circled the sensitive tip.

“Vee. I’m never going to make it inside you.”

She smiled around his length, and he swore, then laughed as he hauled her up over his hips. He tugged open the nightstand drawer and ripped open a foil packet. “Tell me if you don’t want this, Vee. We can stop at any time.” He looked to her face for reassurance as he slid the condom down.

“I want you, Iron. Everything you’re willing to give.”

“I want you in control. Anything you want, sweetheart.” She positioned him at her opening, slowly taking him until he was buried to the base. Each time she rolled her hips, she felt him filling every hollow place inside her. His pubic bone ground against her clit as he massaged and stroked her breasts.

She rode him faster, her movements choppy and erratic as she fought for more pressure, more friction. Her breath was rushing in and out as the shivers stole over her body, bearing down, she hung on as the orgasm pulsed through her with blinding pleasure. She watched as the muscles in Iron’s neck corded. He gripped her hips and drove himself inside her over and over. His body went taunt as he arched his head back and stilled inside her. She collapsed on his chest, and she could feel the press of his heart beating rapidly against her cheek.

“That was…” She searched through her muddled brain trying to find a word to describe what they’d just shared.

“Everything,” he said stroking both hands over her hair.

Tears pricked her eyes, and three words were on the tip of her tongue but she bit them back.

“Everything,” she whispered back.