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Once her grandmother was settled, Lauren took her seat, her face downturned as she flipped through today’s church program. Since her hair was tucked behind her ears, I had a clear view of her profile. She didn’t look upset or worried, and she had to have heard the news about her dad by now.

Maybe she didn’t think there was a reason to worry.

Tommy Marchetti had never been the most reliable person, and even when he was around, he wasn’t exactly winning any father of the year awards.

The first time I’d ever met the guy was when he’d kicked my ass, and she and I had practically grown up together.

He’d never been at our school plays, or her soccer games.

He hadn’t even come to Lauren’s confirmation, a huge event for young Catholics.

Who knew, maybe this wasn’t even the first time he’d disappeared from her life?

Movement behind her drew my gaze, and I glanced over to see people nearby casting looks her way.

One or two even leaned in to whisper something to those seated next to them.

I thought they were talking about Tommy at first—news traveled fast in the old neighborhood—but then I caught sight of their censuring glances and realized this wasn’t idle church gossip; this had teeth. It brought to mind Dad’s insult. Whore.

Were these motherfuckers talking shit about Lauren? My Lauren?

From the unbothered way she lifted her head and scanned the people around her, she either didn’t notice the way they stared and whispered, or she didn’t care.

Which meant there was no need for me to be bothered by it.

But try as I might to talk myself down from the ledge, my temper clawed its ugly way out of the abyss and sank its teeth into me.

What pissed me off more than anything was the hypocrisy. Half these assholes had family members in the mob, men who’d committed innumerable crimes, done unspeakable things to other humans. I was one of them, and they were fine talking to me, but take your top off for money and you were shunned.

My expression flattened, and I locked eyes with several of the gossipers, one after another, who wisely decided to go back to minding their own fucking business.

“Hey, Lauren!” Alec called.

She turned toward the sound of her name, spotting him. The beginning of a smile tugged at her mouth, but her gaze tripped sideways, landing on me, and I finally got to watch that split second of recognition wash over her.

Hello, beautiful.

Her eyes flashed wide as her full lips, painted a muted pink to match her dress, popped open in surprise.

Our gazes caught and held. Despite the crowd of onlookers, something sparked between us right there in the middle of church.

Something dark, hungry. Ravenous because it had barely gotten a taste ten years ago and had been starving ever since.

“Junior,” she said, sounding out of breath.

I flashed her a knowing grin. “You look good, Lo. It’s nice to see you.”

She blushed prettily and glanced away.

“Yeah, nice to see you,” Alec muttered, but I could tell from his tone that he was amused. The bastard knew about my history with Lauren better than anyone else, and I was sure he’d called her name hoping to stir up some drama.

I should probably look away from her—people were starting to notice my staring—but for the life of me, I couldn’t tear my gaze free.

Lauren’s sundress was fitted through the bodice, tight enough that it was obvious she was still breathing fast. From desire?

Or fear, too? No one outside of the inner mob circle and immediate family knew exactly what my dad, brothers, and I did, only that we’d climbed high enough in the ranks that we had the ear of Lorenzo, the head of the organization, so Lauren shouldn’t have had any knowledge of my involvement in her dad’s disappearance.

Especially since the only ties she seemed to have to the old neighborhood were her sister and grandmother.

I was tempted to say something more, get her to look my way again so I could get a better read on her, but the altar servers were marching out of a side door with their lit taper candles, indicating that Mass was about to start.

Reluctantly, I faced forward, biding my time until this spectacle was over and I got a chance to speak with Lauren one-on -one .

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her sneak a quick glance my way, and I grinned to myself as the priest took his place behind the altar.

She might have been surprised by my presence, but there was no denying that she’d felt it, too, the pull between us that couldn’t be denied.

Good thing I had such an iron control over my body, or standing when the priest ordered us up would have been real awkward.

The memory of Lauren’s latest video was seared into my mind, and I couldn’t stop replaying it.

What I wouldn’t give to see her come in person, to make her come, using my tongue to drive her over the edge.

Yeah, that’s what I’d do first, drop her onto whatever flat surface was closest and shove her knees wide before burying my face in her cu—

Mom elbowed me, and I realized everyone around us was speaking.

Right, the time for congregation participation had begun.

Though it had been years since I’d attended church, the right words fell from my lips almost without thought.

They’d been drilled into my head during my youth, and I guess they’d stuck.

I looked left to see Lauren speaking the same words, though the sight of her lips moving turned my thoughts more blasphemous than holy.

As if she could feel me staring, she glanced my way again, just long enough to meet my eyes, her brows lifting almost in question, like she wondered why I’d suddenly shown up here after nearly a decade of absence.

I couldn’t help it; I winked at her. You’re why, sweetheart.

Her frown turned into a glare, and she jerked her gaze back to the front of the church.

Oh, so she wasn’t afraid; she was pissed. It was good to know what I was working with. I’d rather have her angry at me than afraid. Coming back from fear was difficult. But rage? Rage could turn into desire if you knew what you were doing, and I liked my odds.

Behind the altar, the priest continued to drone. Down we went to our knees for prayer. Back up to our seats. We stood. Then kneeled again. I snuck glances at Lauren, because I couldn’t help myself, but her gaze stayed steadfastly fixed ahead after our last exchange.

A small eternity seemed to pass before the priest gave us his final blessing. I got to my feet afterward and forced myself to do the right thing, to wait with my family while Mom said her goodbyes to those who wouldn’t be joining in on coffee hour.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Alec demanded as we trailed Mom up the aisle a few minutes later.

I schooled my face. “What do you mean?”

He dropped his voice. “With Lauren, you asshole.”

“Nothing,” I said. Yet.

“Don’t be an idiot.”

The comment put my back up. “Since when am I ever an idiot?”

Being stupid wasn’t a luxury I was allowed to enjoy. I always had to be “on,” always had to be ready in case the shit hit the fan. It was why I never drank, never did drugs. I was on call twenty-four seven, and I’d learned from a young age how much trouble you could get in if you were careless.

Alec glanced ahead of us, toward where Lauren was passing through a side door into the back of the church. “Haven’t you done enough to that woman?”

My anger sparked. Probably because there was a thread of truth in his words I didn’t want to hear. “Relax. I’m just making sure she’s okay after everything.” With her dad , I didn’t have to add.

“She seems perfectly fine to me,” Alec said. “Job done. You can leave now.”

I studied him before responding. “You seem awfully eager to get me out of here. Is that why you came today? You want to finally shoot your shot with her?” Alec’s history with Lauren was even longer than mine.

They’d been in the same class from kindergarten until she’d transferred out of the district right before their senior year.

Alec scoffed. “No. Fuck off. I just don’t want to see an old friend get hurt.”

“You haven’t talked to her since she left school, so don’t try to pull the protective friend bullshit with me. Why are you really trying to push me out of here so fast? What are you up to?”

He clamped his mouth shut as we entered the rear event hall, and I knew I had him on the ropes.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I said. “Look, don’t get in between me and Lauren, and I won’t interfere with whatever business you’re trying to get into with these old bastards.”

“Fine,” he muttered.

I spotted my quarry heading toward the restrooms in the rear of the hall and elbowed my brother. “Do me one more favor? Run interference?”

I didn’t give him a chance to respond before stalking after Lauren, trusting that Alec was so used to following orders that he would do what I said.