Page 8 of Catching Him (Sporting Pride #2)

Now that Eric knew the truth, it was a tad aggravating to realize how blind he had been. But Oakley was also damn good at casually doing things while keeping Eric distracted. As he watched Oakley down a handful of prescription pills, it occurred to him that he watched Oakley do this every day without thinking. Oakley would joke and talk while quickly getting what he needed. He would toss them back like nothing happened. Then he would turn the spinning rack in the kitchen cabinet, so it showed the spices rather than all his pill bottles. He was truly masterful in his act. Unfortunately, Eric knew the truth now and he couldn’t stop noticing every single way Oakley kept his condition hidden from him.

Oakley set his water glass in the sink. “I shouldn’t be gone more than two hours. When I get back, I was thinking of hitting the batting cages. Would you like to join me?”

“Of course.” Eric fought to keep his cool. He honestly hoped Oakley didn’t think he was an idiot. The guy certainly treated him like one. “I need to run down to that little corner market and stock up on some things. Our fridge is starting to look a little bare.”

“Bodega,” Oakley corrected.

Eric rolled his eyes. His smile turned genuine. “You New Yorkers and your goddamn bodegas.”

Oakley chuckled as he moved to where Eric sat at the kitchen table. He swiped a kiss across Eric’s lips. “I’ll hurry back.”

At the mention of hurrying, a lump formed in Eric’s throat. Oakley could fall again, and Eric wouldn’t be there. “Are you absolutely sure you don’t want me to go?”

Oakley stole a deeper kiss. “Go do your shopping. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

That wasn’t true at all, but—as always—Eric couldn’t force anything. “Okay. I hope everything goes okay.”

Oakley flashed him a smile before heading for the door. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Eric wasn’t sure Oakley had even heard before he disappeared.

With defeat making his legs heavy, Eric grabbed the rolling cart and made his way to the store. He hadn’t been far behind Oakley, but he was nowhere to be seen. Eric prayed that meant he snagged a cab. As he walked inside, the tiny old lady who was always there called out her hellos. Eric hadn’t lived with Oakley long before Hana had dragged every ounce of details about his life with Oakley from him. It seemed she knew everyone’s business and Oakley had lived there a while. Eric was a new fact for her to add to his story.

The store was dead, so Hana did what she always did when they were slow, and he was there. She followed him around to talk. “How is that handsome husband? He should pay someone to do this for you.”

An uncomfortable laugh escaped Eric. “He’s good and I don’t mind. I wouldn’t get to come see you if he paid someone to shop for us.”

“Awww. You’re too sweet. It’s just that if I had the money, I would be on a yacht somewhere or on a beach. Instead, he always stays here. It makes no sense.”

“He loves New York.” Eric grabbed a gallon of milk and some cheese.

“What about you? You don’t miss your family back in California? You don’t miss the weather?”

Eric shrugged. “Sometimes I miss the weather.” He wouldn’t talk about his family. “But I love Oakley more than I love the year-round warmth.” Eric headed for the register with Hana in tow.

“You really are too sweet. I like you much better than Oakley’s last husband.”

Everything inside Eric froze. His brain refused to work.

Hana scanned his groceries with zero care for the destruction she caused. “That one used to strut in here with different men all the time. Just flaunting his cheating. I always wanted to tell Oakley, but Oakley always came in here with bruises. He would say it was baseball stuff, but I had an abusive husband once too. I know what getting punched in the face looks like.” Hana shook her head. “I was too scared that rotten one would kill Oakley if I told him about the other men. Plus, I didn’t know if maybe he knew, and they had an agreement. I didn’t want to seem nosey or anything.”

Eric would have laughed his ass off at that one if he could fucking breathe. The secrets just kept piling up. What else didn’t he know? Oakley had kept a whole-ass first husband from him. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even his first. Eric could be the third or fourth for all he knew.

Eric quickly paid for his groceries and made his way home. His mind reeled. It was not like Eric hadn’t searched Oakley’s name online. Surely the entire world would have known if Oakley had been married before. Then again, Jakk had kept Eric a secret for years. Eric was a complete mess. He blindly put away the food. Eric wouldn’t be surprised later if he found milk in the cleaning closet. He simply ran on autopilot. His feet carried him through the large, upscale apartment. All this had belonged to another man once. Were there signs he had missed on that one too? Eric eyed every photo he passed. There was nothing. He wanted to tear the place apart and search every document he found. Eric really wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. It wasn’t about the marriage. Yeah, that bothered him a little. Eric had loved the idea of being the guy who finally caught Oakley. But the fucking secrets. The lies by omission. How could a fresh marriage survive on half-truths? How much more of Oakley’s silence could Eric endure before he broke? He very much feared he was already there. Eric felt sick.

Oakley didn’t feel better today. He had suggested the batting cages, hoping the exercise would loosen up his muscles. If nothing else, he hoped hitting some balls would distract him. He couldn’t get home to Eric fast enough… and a pain pill. Seriously, he was dying.

Last night’s bullshit made Oakley rethink a few things. First off, as much as he loved this city, it maybe wasn’t the best place for him anymore. It wasn’t easy to navigate in his condition and things would only get worse. That acceptance led to another. Eric and he had promised their lives to each other. Oakley took that seriously. It seemed Eric did too. So Oakley had spent part of his appointment discussing moving his care plan to a doctor in California near Eric’s mom. For better or worse, they were forever, and Oakley needed to be realistic. He needed a wheelchair-friendly home and a simpler town. That also meant—eventually—he would have to tell Eric everything.

The apartment was quiet when Oakley came through the door. He thought Eric was still out until he found him sitting at the table where he had left him.

Oakley put away his bag of prescriptions while eyeing Eric. “Is everything okay?” Eric didn’t look like Eric. The way his eyes burned was a little scary.

“How was your appointment?”

Oakley shrugged. He knew he needed to come clean. This didn’t feel like the right time. There was obviously something bothering Eric. “It was an appointment. Seriously, what’s wrong?”

Eric’s eyes filled with tears. He looked away and cleared his throat. “I keep hoping you’ll eventually just tell the truth, but maybe you don’t know what that is any longer.”

Oh, fuck. That didn’t sound good. Despite his best efforts, a nervous chuckle escaped him. “What do you mean?” He didn’t want to assume anything.

Eric swiped at his eyes and met Oakley’s stare. “I don’t even know where to start with that question. Should we talk about the MS or your first husband first? Was he your first? I mean, it’s not like I know you at all. He could’ve been your fifth for all I know.”

Despite his horror and absolute confusion, Oakley’s knees weakened. He grabbed the edge of the counter to stay upright. Eric shot to his feet, making matters worse. In a moment when Eric should let him fall, he still didn’t.

He helped Oakley to the table. Oakley sat hard and winced. “Maybe let me take a pain pill before we fight.”

A muscle worked in Eric’s jaw, but he opened the cabinet and spun the spice rack. He looked at each bottle before finding the pain meds. After fixing him a glass of water and passing him a pill, Eric reclaimed his seat. All was done in complete silence. Oakley didn’t know if he should scream or cry. Instead, he took his pill and took a breath.

“You’re my first husband, so I’m confused as fuck by that one.”

Eric didn’t soften. “You’re telling me Hana lied about hating the husband before me who always cheated and beat you? Did she imagine all that, or are you saying she’s the consummate liar of you two?”

Oakley flinched. He supposed he deserved that. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Eric sounded truly terrifyingly angry now.

Oakley rushed to fix it. “I swear, you’re my first husband. There was a guy who lived here with me for a couple of years, but we were never married.”

“You never said anything.”

A bitter smile tugged at Oakley’s lips. “Some things are better left in the past and I would never disrespect you by talking about my exes. Plus, he’s a piece of shit. I don’t like remembering him.”

Eric swiped his hand across his eyes before focusing on him again. “I feel like I married a complete stranger. You don’t tell me anything. I had to stand there today and act like I already knew everything Hana said. Just like I had to sit there at the charity game and pretend I knew you have MS while Rocky praised me for not being scared to marry you in spite of your illness.”

Goddamn. It was worse than he thought. Eric had known for weeks. He had known through every wince and his fall. Oakley looked like the liar Eric accused him of being. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You made me feel like a fucking fool.”

Oakley took a steadying breath. He really hurt today, and Eric deserved better. Panic hit from nowhere. Maybe he didn’t want this life anymore. “Maybe I’m done.” Once the hysteria left his lips, it was over. Oakley couldn’t catch his breath or pull back. Truthfully, he hadn’t allowed himself to process the news fully yet. He had been in a bit of a daze about his situation, unable to cope with the shock. Eric’s fury made everything so very real and hopeless. “I swear I wasn’t trying to trick you into marrying a cripple. That was never my intention. I just fell so hard in love with you, I was scared as hell to miss my chance. Then things got worse so much faster than I expected. But I fully realize you don’t deserve to be stuck with me. So maybe I’m done. If I’m gone, you’ll get everything and you’ll be free. You can find someone who deserves you—”

Eric slapped his hand down on the table so fast and hard, Oakley jumped. “Would everyone please stop fucking saying that to me?” Eric screamed the words, as if beyond conversation. “I choose who’s worthy of me. I choose who deserves my time. Goddamn. Do you have any idea how fucking hurtful those words are? How condescending? Find someone who deserves you,” Eric mocked. “I fucking know what I’m worth. That’s just a goddamn excuse to break me. And if you think for one fucking second you’re going to die on me, you’re a goddamn idiot.” He had never seen Eric enraged. It was kind of hot and snapped Oakley from his panic attack. Unfortunately, though, Eric wasn’t done. “In fact, if you ever even say that to me again, I’ll call the police and have you put on a psych hold. I swear to God I will. Just try me. I won’t be manipulated like that.”

“I would never try to manipulate you.”

Eric slapped the table again. “Did I say I was fucking finished? You will tell me everything and I mean everything from here on out. I will be going to these appointments and how fucking dare you doubt me? Do you think I’m shallow? Do you think I’m weak? Do you think my love is so flimsy, it would collapse under a treatable disease? Any disease, for that matter.” He stared at Oakley, barely blinking. “Well?”

“I didn’t know if I was allowed to talk yet,” Oakley admitted.

Eric growled.

Oakley made a calming gesture. “None of those things kept me silent. I just…” Oakley’s hands rose and fell. “You’ve been through so much, and I wanted to be your happiness and peace.” He took a deep breath. Oakley knew he could tell Eric anything, especially things he couldn’t tell anyone else. “And I’m wrecked.” His voice broke. Oakley cleared his throat. “Absolutely shattered, actually. I’m being told I’m no longer the person who made it all the way to more than a decade of pro. That guy is gone. It’s not like I thought I’d go back to pro or some shit. I just didn’t expect I would lose everything about myself after retirement. How do I go from being the guy who constantly stays active to being told to sit down? I’m trying like hell to figure it out. I guess I didn’t know what to say to you. You didn’t fall in love with a disabled man. I didn’t know what to say,” Oakley repeated. It honestly came down to that. He didn’t know how to explain what he didn’t know. Oakley didn’t know what his future looked like. So how could he reassure Eric about their life together?

“I fell in love with your heart.” Eric’s soul was in his eyes. “All those nights on the phone when you didn’t let me feel alone. All those times you were proud to be seen with me when no one else ever had been. You can’t know how you stole me. I would rather be with you under any circumstances than anyone else in the world, but I can’t make you see that. I can’t make you see me.”

The urge to cry was massive. His voice gave that secret away. “I knew you’d stay. That’s what makes me the bad guy. I saw you, fell in love, and stayed silent, all while knowing you would stay. What does that tell you about me?” He already knew. Oakley knew he was selfish.

A sweet smile touched Eric’s lips. “It tells me you’re as scared of losing me as I am you.”

So much hit Oakley at once. Too much. He tried to speak, but his voice only sounded like a hoarse whisper. “I don’t want to do this alone.”

Eric leaned forward and took his hand. His gaze never wavered from holding Oakley’s stare. “You’re not alone. That’s not because you trapped me. It’s because I love you and we’re in this life together.”

He meant it. Oakley had no idea why this amazing man chose him, but he had. “I really need some help today.” That admission took everything Oakley had, but he was tired, and he hurt. Life felt like moving through quicksand and he was drowning.

With a nod, Eric stood. He helped Oakley to his feet. “Come on. Lean on me.”

Oakley knew he gave Eric too much of his weight, but Eric didn’t complain. He helped Oakley to bed. While Oakley sat on the edge of their mattress, Eric undressed him like he would a child. Oakley might have been humiliated, but it was Eric.

Eric winced at the ugly bruises from last night’s fall. “Damn, baby. What can I do?”

Oakley answered as Eric tucked him in. “Will you hold me?”

Eric circled the bed. “I’d already planned to do that. Do you need anything else?”

Oakley shook his head. “Just your love.”

Eric’s eyes burned with intensity when he met Oakley’s stare. “You have that.”

He knew. Goddamn. It was amazing and beautiful. Eric stripped down to his underwear and then molded against Oakley. Oakley sighed in relief. There was no scientific reason for him to feel better for being in Eric’s arms, but he did. So much tension eased from him. He understood they still had so much left to talk about, and they would. For now, though, Oakley needed a nap. He needed Eric.