Page 6 of Capture (Primal #3)

W hat do I have to do to live?” I asked him as soon as he swiped off the phone, walked to the door, checked that it was locked, and leaned against it.

Ronan's likable, laidback demeanor had vanished, replaced with a stranger.

Someone I had not met before, nor would I want to meet, was locked in this room with me.

“Wrong question,” he replied swiftly. “How much is your life worth?”

“Nothing,” I sighed, feeling numb, hunting for a spark of fire within me to fight against him.

Now that I had removed my mask, freeing Annika, she refused to stand up and be seen.

“I don’t care anymore. You have me. I’m your prisoner.

Do what you want to me for your pleasure. I don’t care anymore.”

I held up my wrists, “Handcuff me,” I added as the fight in me seeped away into the abyss. “Bound me. Kill me. I do not care.”

He rolled his eyes as if he thought I was trying to tug on his heartstrings. “Drop your hands,” he snapped gruffly, then folded his arms across his broad chest as his arm muscles bulged under his white shirt. “I’m going to ask you some questions, and you’re going to answer them honestly. Got it?”

“I have nothing left to lose,” I answered nonchalantly.

“Spare me the fake emotion,” he snarled, then exhaled out his frustration, although I was unsure if it was me feeding his frustration or something else. “Question one. Are you Annika Kaiser?”

I was taken aback by Ronan's use of the surname Kaiser. I suspected it was a deliberate attempt to rub salt into the wound. “Yes.”

“What was Annika’s mother’s name?” he proposed, obviously needing proof.

“Luanne,” I replied, swallowing over a lump in my throat. “Are you sure my brother will be okay?”

“Yes. He was always fine. The family who adopted him is in regular contact and receives supplements from the Kaiser trust until your brother is eighteen,” he explained. “If you were honest with us from the beginning, we could’ve helped you.”

“They threatened to kill me,” I argued. “They said what happened to Mr. Kaiser will happen to me, too.”

“Who?” he asked.

“The Larsson police,” I replied as all the secrets I’d been holding on to emptied into this room. “Specifically, Judith-”

“We know about her,” he told me. “But what I want you to start from the beginning. Do you know who killed Mr. Kaiser?”

“No,” I replied. “And that’s the truth.”

“Did you know it was going to happen?” he questioned, narrowing his eyes as his fist found his jaw, and he rubbed the chiseled line.

“No,” I breathed, then backtracked. “Yes. I mean…they insinuated that something would happen without actually saying what it was. But they needed me to be home on that day.”

“The day Lars Kaiser was shot?” Ronan clarified.

“Yes.”

He exhaled as I watched his broad chest and shoulders hitch, then relaxed. “How did they approach you? How did they manage to communicate with you without anyone knowing?”

“I think they were watching the house because they would turn up in an unmarked car after encouraging me to climb inside after school or other times when I was isolated, then Judith would speak gently to me, and it started like that.”

“Did they try to brainwash you into believing that Mr. Kaiser was a bad man?” he interrogated.

“Well…it wasn’t too hard considering that the police would often turn up and he was arrested on numerous occasions, also imprisoned for several months, so it was an easy message to emphasize. And it was done slowly and over time, and they acted like my friends and protectors.”

“They slowly planted poison in your mind that the bad guy in the scenario was the man who adopted you, fed and clothed you, and saved you from a life of ruin?” he rationalized.

“Yes,” I replied honestly as guilt scoured my stomach. I had nothing to hide now.

“Were you shocked when Mr. Kaiser was shot?” he pressed.

“Yes. I was upset for Gunner,” I breathed as the weight of the burden lightened, replaced with numbness.

“It occurred to me that this was what they had been leading up to, and I knew everything would change from that point forward. Everything fell into place as to why they wanted me to be home on that day, and then Judith approached me and…” I exhaled as a spiral of pain circled in my stomach, “threatened all sorts of things, including arresting my mom, and that was also when I found out that I had a brother.”

His head nodded slowly as his narrowed eyes, a penetrating stare that stripped me bare.

“Look, I understand you were only a kid, fifteen or sixteen, when the police started brainwashing you, but I ask again…why didn’t you go to Mr. Kaiser or Sylvie about what was going on?

Or at least speak quietly to Gunner, who, as I understand, you were close to back then. More than just siblings, I suspect.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I came to believe they were my enemy, and I was living under the roof of people whom I should not trust. Bad people.”

He screwed his face up as if he wasn’t quite convinced, but a girl like me struggled to trust anyone. My mother was a drug addict who would put her addiction above her children. The coming and going of strange men, the use of needles left on the floor, and threats from the landlord to throw us out.

Then the Kaisers showed up and took me away from the mess and placed my mother in rehab, which raised a question that had always bothered me. A missing piece of the puzzle. Of all the struggling solo mothers in Larsson, and there were many, why my mom?

“How did they find out about us?” I knew he was the wrong person to ask, as he was only a child then, probably hadn’t even met the Kaisers at that point.

“Who?” he seemed confused.

“My mom. Why her of all people? Why me, of all kids born to addicts?” I clarified. “Why did Mr. Kaiser and Sylvie choose us to save?”

“I don’t know the full story, but he discovered your mother unconscious in an Ivanov-owned club after he raided it and discovered she had a kid at home alone,” he explained.

I swallowed over a lump in my throat as a river of pain surged through my body. “She left me alone? She left a small child alone in a shitty apartment? How long for?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how long you were there for.

” his tone softened as he seemed uncomfortable by me hurting.

The less I knew about the way my mother treated me, the better, and hearing the samples of the reality of my situation turned my stomach and made my betrayal of the family that took me in even worse.

“But, ah, apparently, Lars booted the door down and found you in soiled diapers in the bed, staring at a homemade mobile hanging from the ceiling.” He cleared his throat, looking even more uncomfortable.

“Quiet as a mouse. You didn’t cry, even when strangers picked you up and took you away, you didn’t cry.

” He paused for a few beats and shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s what Lars, I mean, Mr. Kaiser, told me. ”

Emotions pounded in my body: anger, sadness, grief, abandonment, as I struggled to hold back the tears. “She left me alone…?” I hugged my trembling body as I blinked back the tears, as I didn’t want to show vulnerability in front of a man who viewed me as his enemy.

He stepped toward me, then stepped back, showing signs that he was uncomfortable and conflicted with this moment. An intense silence fell over us as if he was struggling to know what to say next, or maybe he was waiting for me to add to his comment.

“I'd better go…” he mumbled and pointed his thumb behind him as if to indicate that he was going to wait outside as the guard on his shift.

I nodded, pleased that he was leaving because my lungs were closing in on me, and my breath caught in my throat.

I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the sound of a sob escaping, but instead, an impending panic attack arose, claiming the air that I was desperately trying to get into my lungs as pressure weighed down on my chest.

In my peripheral vision, Ronan stalled as he was about to leave and looked back as I struggled to catch my breath. In only a couple of strides, he was there, standing over me, warm hand placed on my cheek. “Are you okay, Ri, I mean, Annika?” he said in that soothing voice.

I nodded, struggling to take in air as my throat seemed to constrict as a load of bricks weighed upon my chest. I tried to suck in breath, but the pressure on my chest made it difficult.

The mattress sank as he sat down next to me, and a warm hand found my back and started rubbing. “Are you having a panic attack, Annika?” he asked softly.

“I…thin…” Words refused to leave my mouth, so I resigned to nodding again.

His strong, muscular arms wrapped around my trembling body and began to rock me while rubbing my back. The warm caress from his embrace was like a warm spa on a cold day, and the circus of anxiety began to ease.

“I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing here,” he confessed quietly as his warm breath tickled my eyelashes.

It took me a couple of minutes before answering as I didn’t want to use up invaluable breath, but once the tidal wave of anxiety died away, I answered, “Which part are you unsure about? The treating my anxiety part or the keeping me here against my will part?”

He paused for a couple of seconds before reluctantly pulling away and rising to his feet, standing over me.

Perhaps I imagined it, but I could feel the guilt peel off him—the stubborn loyalist. The hardworking right-hand man to Mikael was struggling with his morality—the girl he wanted vs. the man he protected.

Or maybe he didn’t want me anymore. Perhaps I crossed a line that he could never forgive me for.

As he walked to the door, done with me, unable to tolerate being in the same room as a woman who betrayed him. “I’ll be just outside the door if you need me,” he told me, avoiding my eye.

“Okay,” I cleared my throat. “You don’t want to stay in here where it’s warm?”

He exhaled as his head nodded slightly, then answered assertively, “No.” My heart panged in my chest at his rejection, but it was probably for the better. “Oh, and,” he exhaled again as if struggling to deal with the problem, which was me. “Do you need anything? Food, water…”

“My phone? Can I have my phone?” I was pushing it as I knew what the answer would be, but if you don’t ask, then you’ll never know.

His eyes narrowed, and his shoulders tensed a little, showing his impatience with my question. “I think you know the answer, but good try. You have everything you need. A bed, bathroom, and food will be brought in soon. As I said, I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

“Your turn to take a shift, is it?” I didn’t want him to leave because I felt lonely in this windowless room, and if they were going to kill me, then please don’t let me die alone.

“Yes,” he replied, putting up that wall when he was back to business, and of course, I was nothing but business for them.

“Thank you for helping me with the panic attack,” I called after him just before he closed the door on me and left alone in the room once again.