Page 52 of Can We Skip to the Good Part?

TWENTY-FIVE

Have Yourself a Messy Little Christmas

T he holidays were sitting in Max’s lap way before she was ready.

Businesses were decked out in green and red, and fully decorated twelve-foot Christmas trees lined the streets of downtown.

Max always marveled at how fast the town transformed from generically charming to Santa’s own personal village.

The stores piped in carols from Burl Ives to Kelly Clarkson, organizations sent out invitations to their annual holiday gatherings, and Max moved through space and time with a tentative smile on her face.

Her world felt entirely different this year.

She had a girlfriend she was wild about on one hand, an event that caught her completely by surprise.

Who even was she these days, tossing aside her cynical notions about romance and moving through the world like a grinning fool?

On the other hand, she was still dealing with the repercussions of a family who’d been through a stressful time.

Her mother had been out of the hospital for a couple of weeks now, and though she still had treatment ahead of her, her numbers were moving in the right direction.

The chemo was working, but it was too soon to claim victory.

Though patience had never been Max’s strong suit, she noticed her ability blossom as she spent more and more time at her mother’s side.

Appointments, infusions, or just hanging out at the house.

Unfortunately, that meant time away from Ella.

This wasn’t the time to force a new relationship on her mother, who showed no interest in hearing about the two of them.

She wasn’t sure what to do about that, and continued to shelve the issue.

There’d be time to sort it all out down the road.

“I don’t think you should go to Oklahoma for Christmas,” Max said as they lay in bed one morning. “It’s too warm there. Stay in the frigid temperatures with me. We can wait for Santa.”

“I don’t know,” Ella murmured, pulling Max’s arms around her tighter. “It’s like nineteen degrees out there.”

“Then we can take our clothes off and keep each other warm.”

“Don’t tempt me with your body.”

“I have to. It seems to be your weakness.”

Ella shook her head. “You know me too well.”

With Ella traveling west to Tulsa to spend Christmas with her family, it would mean being apart for a little over a week, which seemed brutal, given that they already weren’t getting enough time together. “Will you at least FaceTime me each day? Send all sorts of nudes?”

She felt Ella’s stomach contract with laughter. “Oh, sure. In between Christmas gifts and eggnog, I’ll snap a few. My mom won’t mind.”

Max snuggled close, spooning Ella, who wore Max’s Jingle All the Way T-shirt and her own adorably cute pink bikinis.

She wanted to slide her hand inside them, but it was 6:30 in the morning, and Max needed to be in the shower in fifteen minutes if she wanted to make her first client meeting of the day.

She planned to enjoy every one of those minutes, staying close to Ella for as long as possible until the cruel work world ripped her away.

“Are you looking forward to seeing everyone?” She slipped a hand under Ella’s shirt and caressed her breast.

“Yes. It’s been a while since we’ve all been together. I hear my brother is bringing a girl he’s been seeing.”

“That should be interesting.” She gently traced Ella’s nipple with the tip of her finger. She heard her inhale quietly.

“Mhmm. They make a cute couple. He posted a couple of shots on Insta, and he had this very genuine smile that tells me he’s happy. I look forward to you meeting them all soon. But I know you need to stay close to your mom for the holidays.”

“Yes, but one day I want to see where you grew up. I want to know everything about what makes you you.” She placed a slow kiss on the back of Ella’s jaw just as her alarm sounded. “Unfortunately, I have to take a shower.” She pushed herself up and headed to the bathroom.

“Did you really just get me all hot and bothered and sneak away?”

“I would love nothing more on earth than to spend thirty minutes making you claw those sheets, but I have the Dickinsons at 8 a.m.”

“Not the Dickinsons,” Ella said with mock reverence. She propped herself on a forearm and grinned.

Max laughed, too, liking it when Ella teased.

That playful glint was too adorable. “And they like to show up early and insult each other in the waiting room. The longer they sit there, the angrier they get, and the more work it is for me to convince them to compromise.” She sighed and melted for a moment.

“But you have amazing breasts. Have I ever told you that?”

“They miss you,” she said, shaking them in Max’s direction. “Come play with them some more.”

Max swallowed, arousal flooding her system.

This woman looked too good lying in that bed, blond hair on her bare shoulders.

Max wanted to do decadent things to her, and she didn’t want to wait until tonight to do it.

She checked the clock. There was no time left.

Didn’t matter. “Come in with me?” she asked, walking backward, tipping her head in the direction of the walk-in shower.

She greatly appreciated the remodel that made it extra spacious.

There was even a quartz bench she could imagine putting to use.

“Oh, yeah?” With a twinkle in her eye, Ella was up and moving. “Good morning to me.”

“To us,” Max said, sliding her hand in Ella’s hair to her neck and crushing her mouth to Ella’s.

Ella’s favorite Christmas carol was “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” The quiet, almost internally spoken lyrics made her thoughtful and soft.

She had it on while she worked at her desk, adding detail to the jacket of one of the characters on her cover.

Francesca was her name, and, apparently, she was about to be blindsided by a visit from a past girlfriend who broke her heart years ago.

“Gear up, Frankie,” she said as she gently drew a fold in the fabric. “Hold onto that jacket.”

Her phone, which had been playing her music, buzzed on the nightstand across the room. She hurried over and grinned when she saw her father’s face on the screen. She took a seat on her bed next to the open suitcase. “Is this Santa?” she asked after sliding onto the call.

“You have to admit. I’m a damn good one.” Her father offered his famous “ho ho ho,” cultivated after years of playing Santa at the local elementary school holiday parties. His The Night Before Christmas was not to be missed. “How are you, Penny?”

She grinned at the childhood nickname, sprung from when she was seven and found his car keys after he’d torn the house apart looking for them.

He’d told her she was his lucky penny, and it stuck.

“I’m having a great day and just finishing up some work before I move on to trip plans.

I want to go shopping for some road trip snacks.

Is it even a road trip without good food? ”

“I taught you well.” He took a deep breath. “Hey, I want to run something by you and see how you feel.”

She tracked the hesitation in his voice and frowned. “Okay, sure. What’s up?”

“Everyone here is thinking of hanging on a bit longer and maybe celebrating the holidays here in Bavaria. Nuremberg has an amazing Christmas market. They do a whole big thing.”

“Wow. I bet it’s beautiful.” Her heart sank like a stone in a lake.

“Yes! The city goes nuts for Christmas, and your mom and I thought, ‘You know what? We’re getting older now, and how many more chances will we have to experience Christmas in Germany?’”

“Right. I hear you.” Her mind was working quickly to understand the implications.

They wouldn’t be back in Tulsa this week.

They were bailing on her again. And didn’t once think, We’re getting older now.

How many more chances will we have to celebrate Christmas with our daughter?

She felt like she needed to sit down, like she’d been punched in the stomach.

But because she was already sitting down, there was nothing left to do but absorb the pain. There would be no Christmas at home.

“We were wondering what you would think about celebrating New Year’s at the house instead? We could do a whole spread. Noisemakers, firecrackers. All of it. Your brother and Heather are both in.”

Silence. She blinked back hot tears. Her throat ached with a combination of sadness and humiliation. Unwanted, that’s exactly how she felt. Again.

“But, listen,” he said, perhaps sensing the gut punch, “if this gets in the way of your plans, we can skip it and come home. You say the word.”

“I’m not going to tell you that you should want to spend Christmas with me.”

“Oh, hon,” he said. “That’s not it at all. Of course we want to spend Christmas with you. We love and miss you.”

“I know.” Just not enough, she finished in her head. “Have a good time in Germany. I’ll see if I can change my ticket and come for New Year’s.”

“I honestly can’t wait. We’re going to have the best time.” A pause. “Ella’s in! She’s all about New Year’s,” he called some distance from the phone.

“Best news ever,” she heard her mother yell. “I can’t wait to be with my kids. We love you, Ella!”

“Love you, too,” she said with maybe a little less exuberance. “Have a great Christmas.”

Her dad paused. “Well, don’t say it like we’re not going to talk to you five times between then and now.”

“We need to FaceTime so I can show you around the town,” her mother said, taking the phone. “With you designing book covers now, you will appreciate the storybook aesthetic over here.”

“I’m sure I will. Oh, you know what?” She brushed away a stray tear before it had a chance to feel like reality. “Someone’s at the door,” she lied. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

After a quick goodbye and a promise to regroup later, they ended the call.

In silence, Ella stared at the wall, dejected and not sure what to do with herself.

She looked at her tablet, still on its stand, but had lost her motivation to work.

She turned to the open suitcase on the bed next to her and spotted the white sweater she’d packed for Christmas Eve.

The little spice packets she found in town that she planned to put in everyone’s stockings.

With a sad shake of her head, she closed the suitcase, unable to stomach the sight of its contents.

So, she’d stay in Everly Springs for the holiday.

Nodding, she worked on talking herself into all the ways she could turn this around, shove her feelings to the side.

She wasn’t worthless. She mattered to a lot of people.

Remembering Max’s sweet words that morning in bed, urging her to stay, helped.

They had been playful but based in truth.

She had people here who cared about her, and it was important for Ella to remember that.

Hell, if she let it, this might be the most memorable Christmas ever.

“It’s going to be okay,” she told herself. Sadness chased her the rest of the day, but she pulled herself out of it each time it swarmed. By the time Max swung by to pick her up for their dinner date, she teetered right on the edge. She must have seen it the second Ella met her at the door.

“What happened?” Max asked, her face falling when her eyes met Ella’s. She didn’t hesitate, instantly opening her arms. “Come here.” Ella moved right into them, her face crumpling. There was something about a soft place to fall that made letting go feel not only okay but necessary.

With Max’s arms around her, the weight Ella had been carrying all day finally found a place to land. She pressed her face into Max’s shoulder, clung to the familiar fabric of her coat, and let the tears come.

“They’re staying in Germany,” she said into the quiet space between them. “For Christmas. They’re not coming back.”

Max’s hand moved in slow, calming circles on her back. “Oh, no. Ella, I’m so sorry.”

“I was so stupid to get excited,” she whispered. “I should’ve known better.”

“You’re not stupid,” Max said gently, pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes. “You wanted to go home and see your family. That’s not stupid.”

Ella gave a watery laugh. “I don’t even know where that is anymore. Germany?”

Max tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Right now, it’s here. With me. Okay?”

Something in Ella cracked further, but it hurt less this time. She nodded, her throat tight. “I just wanted to matter.”

“You do,” Max said. “You matter so much.”

And for the first time all day, Ella almost believed it.