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W e sat in silence for a short time before Koan came looking for Callista. His eyes widened when he saw me, but she went back to the theater with him, and I did not see her for the rest of the performance.

Was it wrong to wish she’d come back out? To wish we could have spoken longer? To wish that she might come to see me as someone besides the monster who killed her family?

I did not sleep, but I was careful not to hit any walls or desks as I considered my life. I wanted my people to see me as honorable and protective, but more than that I wanted her to. I wanted her to think well of me, and that meant… I also wanted her to consider me kind.

And I wanted to control my fears. I’d spent the better part of my life controlling my anger, but she had been right. I did let my fears dictate my actions. And that needed to stop.

But in order to fear less, I needed to understand more .

And to understand more, I had to offer something.

With that purpose, I sat down at my desk and started writing.