Page 45 of Caller of Crows

"Sorry," he muttered.

Altair regarded him silently, but he didn't push Sven's hand away.

"I thought vampires didn't wake during the day." Sven withdrew his hand and sat up.

"Only when disturbed." Altair sat up, too, regarding Sven.

"So sorry to disturb you," Sven said, falling back on his snarky tendencies because he didn't know how else to mask his nerves.

Altair just looked at him, his gaze steady and unreadable.

"What is it?" Sven asked, unable to take the vampire's silent scrutiny.

"If you weren't trying to save your mother, would you still want to become a vampire?" Altair asked.

Sven blinked in surprise.

"Why are you asking?"

"Just answer the question."

Sven hesitated. Why was Altair asking this now, all of a sudden? Was he trying to find more reasons to reject Sven's request? "I don't know," Sven said. "What does it matter?"

Altair didn't let the issue go, though. "Would you still consider becoming a vampire if your mother died?"

Sven's breath caught.

Fuck.

Was he implying…?

"Is she dead?"

"No."

"Then why…?" Sven trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"I'm merely trying to gauge the extent of your desire for immortality." Altair gave Sven a long look that made Sven feel thoroughly judged.

Who was Altair to say if his reasons were good enough? Who was Altair to rule over Sven's fate?

Sven's eyes narrowed at the vampire. "You're not going to turn me anyway."

Altair inclined his head, acknowledging his words. "No, I won't."

"Then why are you even asking me? It doesn't matter what I say, does it?"

Altair didn't reply.

"Screw you." Sven moved away from the vampire and climbed off the bed, his mind and heart racing. "You act like you know everything, but you don't understand anything."

Altair's calm gaze followed Sven as Sven paced the room. "What do I not understand?"

Sven stopped, shot the vampire a look, and then he resumed moving. "It's my fault that my mom's sick in the first place, so it's on me to fix it."

"Explain."

"I was a stupid kid." Sven blew out a breath because he hated having to retell this story, hated having to be reminded of how dumb he'd been. If he'd only listened to his mother… "I ran away from my mom while we were out on a stroll in the woods, and I got attacked by a thornefang. They're highly venomous. I didn't get bit, but only because my mom saved me. She got bit instead." Sven closed his eyes, remembering his mother's pale face, her clammy skin, her weak voice as she'd told him not to worry, that everything would be all right.