Page 26 of Caged

He reclines his head against the headrest of his seat again and closes his eyes. I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows.

“You left, Monroe. You were all I had, and you left. You don’t know what goes on in my head,” he says quietly.

“Then tell me,” I plead.

“My dad tried to kill himself,” he says out of the blue, and for a moment, I forget to breathe. “It was right after finals in May of last year. I got the call from my mom. Obviously, I left right away. I’m surprised I even made it to the hospital. I had taken a fuck ton of molly earlier that day to celebrate being done with exams, planning to trip my balls off, and then got the phone call and did three lines of cocaine to sober up before driving to Connecticut.”

I want to scream at him for being so reckless, but I force myself to be still because this is the most vulnerable Kieren has been with me in ages.

“Honestly, the thought did cross my mind that I would get killed in a car accident, but at that point, I didn’t care. You had given me your ultimatum. I think by then it had been three weeks since I last saw you, so what difference did it make if I lived or died?”

“But somehow, I made it to the hospital. Staggered in like a strung-out junkie. My mom was a wreck, but she took one look at me and got me admitted. I spent a week puking my guts out. My dad was in a medically induced coma during this time, so my mom would go back and forth between our two hospital rooms. Once I was stable, we moved my dad home and were told he needed twenty-four-seven observation. My mom would sit with him for a few hours during the day, but it was mostly just me and the nurses. It took him another week to be fully coherent again. I’d say this was around mid-June. I thought about coming back in the fall, but there were things I needed to take care of formy family. Dornell granted me a leave of absence, no questions asked. It took the rest of the summer and most of the fall to get things in order, but I managed.”

He pauses, and the interior of the car is pin-drop quiet.

“Kieren, I’m so sorry,” I offer. My words catch in my throat; my heart breaks for him and what he went through last summer. I failed him because I wasn’t there when he needed me the most. It breaks me that he had to go through such a devastating ordeal alone.

“I would have come,” I say, even though I know it’s too late.

“I know you would have. That’s why I didn’t call or text. I was weak, and I knew if I heard your voice, I would beg to see you. Even if you were the one who left, you didn’t deserve what I put you through. I was a shell of myself, but I knew that much.”

“And I loved you anyway,” I admit, because it’s true. I was in love with him, despite what it cost me.

“You did,” he agrees. He turns to look at me, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“I want you back, Monroe. I need you. I can’t stomach the thought of existing on the same campus as you and being unable to call you mine.”

I huff with uncertainty. Letting Kieren Hunt back into my life is a massive gamble.

“How’s your dad now?” I deflect.

“Better,” Kiren says, nodding his head.

“Are you sober?” I ask.

“I’m trying,” he admits.

He turns to look at me with pleading eyes. “Please. I need you. You’re the only one who has accepted my faults. You’re the only one I trust with my demons. Tell me what I have to do to make this right. I’ll do whatever it takes if it means I can call you mine.”

11

GABI

Present Day

“Ele, I need you to get the fuck in your car and come pick me up immediately.”

My hips and arms swing wildly, and I must look borderline deranged walking at this speed, but Adrianna’s secrets are burning a hole in my pocket, and no amount of power walking will get me back to our apartment fast enough.

After what feels like an eternity, a car lightly taps on its horn as it pulls up next to me.

“Jesus, what took you so long?” I huff as I climb into the back seat of Ele’s Subaru. Sweat pools at the base of my bra and runs down my temples as I struggle to shimmy off my heavy backpack.

Ele and Viv have their windows down, and I crinkle my nose at the faint smell of marijuana and sunscreen.

“Where were you two?” I ask accusingly.

Viv turns around, and I see my annoyed scowl reflected in her oversized designer sunglasses. “We went for a swim in the gorges.”