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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

On the very first day of Thanksgiving break, Aaron starts a group chat in Discord for Leo, me, Avery, and himself.

Somehow we manage to keep up the four-way conversation through the whole short vacation.

Each time I giggle at my phone, Mom smiles affectionately.

She thinks I’m texting with Zander and my friends from O-Chi.

Not that I haven’t been talking to them, too, but not as often and not with as much enjoyment.

Mostly, I’ve gotten complaints from Zander and Liv.

Zander’s brother’s new girlfriend is ‘basic’ and can’t cook for shit.

Liv’s afraid Braden will forget about her.

“Out of sight, out of mind,” she frets. I’m guessing that means he hasn’t texted her.

As I hoped, the break affords me plenty of time to dig into Avery’s book.

Obediently, I start with the first chapter, and I’m glad I do, because there I learn about the most basic tool of witchcraft: energy.

It’s everywhere—in everything and around everything—and it’s what a witch uses to do their will.

Raise it, channel it, move it, send it out; energy is all a witch needs to do magick.

To charge an amethyst, say, or heal a plant.

And since it’s energy I’m detecting when I pick up emotions, then I must be able to control it. Somehow.

I work my way through the exercises at the end of the chapter.

Grounding I did with Avery before our ritual, but I practice it again, this time with a better understanding of how and why I need to draw the earth’s energy up into myself.

And when it’s tingling in my veins and skittering through my limbs, I try my hand at centering by pulling it all in until it’s pooling in a dark place under my sternum, ready to use for a spell or ritual.

But since I have none to do, I ground again, sending the excess energy back into the earth beneath me.

Over and over I practice, anytime I can snag a half hour to myself. It’s a rush, all this playing with energy. Addictive. Well, maybe not addictive, but at least it’s more interesting than hanging out with my family. And by the end of the break, I can ground and center in a matter of minutes.

Unfortunately, because I did too much witchcraft and chatting, and not enough schoolwork, it’s chaos when I get back to Brownhill. Liv and I are scrambling to finish our sorority Rush applications by tomorrow night, and I have another sociology paper due on Friday morning.

As I attach my third and last photo to my application document, Liv lets out a pitiful moan. “God, all these suck. Why do they suck? I look so hideous.”

So far, she’s only chosen one picture of herself, but she’s been browsing her photo albums for nearly an hour. I wander over to her and peer at the screen. She’s beautiful in every single picture.

“That’s a good one.” I point to a photo of her hugging her German shepherd, Christoph.

“No way. They’ll wonder which one of us is the dog.”

Rush Week itself isn’t until the middle of January and Liv is already a nervous wreck.

I wish she didn’t have all her self-worth in the sorority basket.

There haven’t been any more Peyton incidents, which hopefully means the drama has blown over, but even if Liv joins KPT, it’s not like her life is going to suddenly be perfect.

At least all is well on the Braden front.

He called her the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and they talked for over an hour.

On Friday night, we’re double-dating in Asheville.

Dinner and some clubbing. I suspect the whole idea was Zander’s.

He knows how anxious this Braden-Liv thing makes me.

It’s sweet of him to want to help. I just hope Liv understands that this night out is a once-in-a-semester event.

Next week we’ll be back at O-Chi, drinking Cole’s concoctions and watching the brothers play Call of Duty.

When my phone trills from my desk, I snatch it up. It’s a message from Leo.

Restraining the huge smile tugging up the corners of my mouth, I tell Liv, “Looks like you’re gonna get your wish. Leo wants to come by and borrow a book.” She said she wanted to meet him, now’s her chance.

“When?”

“He’s already on his way over, so you may want to put on a bra.”

She settles for an oversized sweatshirt instead. Just as she pulls her long, black ponytail out of the shirt’s neck, there’s a knock on the door. My heart jumps. I’m nervous and excited. I haven’t laid eyes on Leo since our hike.

I note Liv’s expression as I welcome him into our room. She’s full-on gawking. That could be because Leo’s mercilessly gorgeous, but I suspect it’s also because he’s not at all what she was expecting. His dark clothes and studious demeanor have caught her off guard. He’s no frat boy.

She manages a “hi” as he smiles and shakes her hand.

“It looks like you two are busy,” he says, glancing about the room. I look around, too, and inwardly groan. There are papers and books and clothes everywhere. I should’ve straightened up. Come to think of it, I should’ve brushed my hair and checked my make-up.

Liv says pointedly, “We’re finishing up our Sorority Rush applications.”

“Ah, yes. Isn’t that happening sometime soon?”

“January,” I reply.

Liv adds, “But the applications are due tomorrow.” She really wants him to know what our priorities are.

Leo’s eyes meet mine. “Well, I won’t keep you. ”

“It’s alright,” I tell him. “I’m almost finished.”

He hoists his slipping backpack. “So I was wondering if I could borrow Anne of Green Gables .”

“Really?” That’s the last book of mine I thought he’d want to read. Most of the guys in my children’s lit class—you know, all three of them—struggled through it. It seems most men in their early twenties find it difficult to relate to a loquacious eleven-year-old girl.

“Yes, really,” Leo chuckles. “I liked what you read to me.”

“You did?”

He’s wearing his knee-weakening lopsided smile. “Anne sounds a lot like someone I know.”

“Oh,” I breathe.

Liv clears her throat. She pulls the thick paperback from the top shelf of the bookcase and hands it to me, her eyes darting back and forth between my and Leo’s faces.

I say to him, “I hope you don’t mind a bunch of notes and highlighting.”

“Not at all. They’ll point out to me what’s important.”

“Okay then.” I hand him the book. “Enjoy.”

As he slides Anne into his backpack, his eyes fall on the bookcase. Looking for what to borrow next? He scans the middle shelf where Liv’s textbooks are lined up according to height. “Are you an environmental science major?” he asks her.

She looks up at him, eyes wide. “Yeah.” She seems both suspicious and in awe of him at the same time.

I want to tell her he’s a plant whisperer, but she’ll think I’ve lost my mind. Instead, I say, “Leo knows a ton about plants and trees. I learned a lot from him when we were on our hike.”

Liv tilts her head. “Really?” She’s flummoxed by this guy.

“Just kind of a hobby,” he says modestly. “Have you been down to the river much?”

“A little bit. We’ve done field studies in some of my classes. There are some rare species down there, for sure.”

Leo gives her a full smile that she can’t resist returning. “Well, I hope we can talk trees sometime when we aren’t all so busy.” He swings his backpack over his shoulder and turns toward the door.

And that’s when he spots my crushed faerie wings stuffed on the top shelf of my wardrobe. “Your wings are a little worse for wear.”

“I know. I keep thinking there’s some way to salvage them.” For some reason, I can’t bring myself to throw them out.

Leo shoots them another wistful look. “You never know when you might need them.”

Before I can think of a reply, he’s halfway down the hall, smiling and waving goodbye.

The second I shut the door, Liv rounds on me. “What the hell was that?”

“That was Leo.” I sit back down at my desk.

“No wonder Zander’s pissed off.” Liv shoots to her feet and closes the space between us. “You can not hang out with him anymore.”

“I told you, we’re just friends.”

“Please. Anne of Green Gables ? I mean, come on!”

“A couple weeks ago he was reading The Scarlet Letter . For fun . That’s just how he is.”

“Okay, fine.” Liv taps her foot like a scolding mother. “Then what about the way he was looking at you?”

I will the rising color from my cheeks. “What about it?”

She puts both palms on my desk and leans in. “He wants you. Bad.”

Does he? I’m not convinced. He’s had opportunities to make a move, and he’s passed on all of them.

Not that I’ve noticed.

Liv bends lower. “And you want him.”

I shake my head.

She straightens as she groans, “God, being in the same room with the two of you—I feel like I should wash out my eyes or…or… go to confession or something!”

“You’re not Catholic.” I turn my attention to my application, hoping to end this conversation before I have a panic attack. There’s a shit-ton of anxiety in this room, and I don’t know if it’s coming from her or from me.

“Betts! Seriously!”

I rake back the lock of hair that keeps falling over my eye. “Look, I’m not gonna stop hanging out with Leo. We talk about things—things I don’t get to talk about with anyone else.” Things? Way to be vague, English major.

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

Faeries and magick and psychic abilities? “He reads. A lot. Like I do. And we talk about literature and trees and…and…”

“If you want to talk about trees, come to me.”

“He’s smart,” I argue.

“So Zander’s stupid?”

“What? No. He’s just not…”

“Not what?”

“An intellectual.”

Liv looks at me like I’m growing horns. “Okay, I know you like to read and all, but since when are you an intellectual ?” She says “intellectual” like it’s some sort of disease.

Since forever , I want to say, but I don’t. It’s not her fault she doesn’t know the deepest parts of me.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, picking at her nails. “I know you’re smart. But it’s not like you’re dying to spend your Saturday nights in the library. You like to party and have fun.”

Do I? I give Liv my best answer, “Sometimes.”

She crumples onto my bed. “What is going on with you? You meet this hot guy and all of a sudden you’re a different person.”

“I’m not,” I insist. “I’m the same person I’ve always been, I’m just…branching out a little. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop going to parties and stuff.”

“What about Zander?”

“What about him?”

Liv’s eyes cut to the door Leo just walked out of.

“I’m not going to cheat on Zander,” I assure her. “And if he’s worried about me being friends with Leo, well then, we’ll talk about it. Like civilized adults.”

She snorts. “Good luck with that.”

Yeah, who am I kidding? Civilized adults? Just because Zander hasn’t mentioned Leo since the day after Halloween, that doesn’t mean the line he drew isn’t still deep in the sand. Subconsciously, I know this. Otherwise, why all the paranoia and sneaking around?

“Come on.” I pat Liv on the knee. “Let’s get these applications done. How are you coming along on that essay?”

She heaves a sigh and glowers over her shoulder at her laptop. “I’m not.”

“Bring it over.”

We stretch out on my bed and spend the rest of the evening making her writing A-plus perfect. And if my eagerness to get those applications in isn’t enough to convince her I’m still the same me, my behavior on our double date Friday night should seal the deal.

For dinner, Zander and Braden take us to a speakeasy in Asheville. After two hours of mixed drinks, Liv and I are pink-cheeked and giggly. I suck the liquid off the apple-slice garnish in my Appletini and pretend I’m a flapper smoking one of those long cigarettes.

I lay a hand on Zander’s shoulder. “Hey there Daddy, could you give a gal a light?”

He grins and feeds me the rest of my apple slice instead.

“Darling, this cocktail is dee-vine,” Liv giggles, taking a drag off her straw.

I flip my ratty fleece scarf over my shoulder like I would a feather boa. “Have you been practicing the Charleston? It’s the cat’s pajamas.”

Even though he’s sober, Braden is laughing, probably at us, not with us. He snatches up his car keys and says to Zander, “I think it’s time to get them out of here and go somewhere dark.”

Zander leans close to me, running a hand up my thigh. “Come on, babe. Let’s go dancing.”

“Alright.” I grab his fingers. “But hands off the gams.”

Once we get to the nightclub, Liv cuts loose, attaching herself to Braden like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

She’s always been an amorous drunk, but with Braden it’s Katy-bar-the-door.

Zander and I catch her fever, grinding together to the throbbing techno beat and making out every time our mouths pass within a few inches of each other.

Braden rolls his eyes and tells us to get a room.

“Give me your keys,” I say, holding out a hand. “We’ll use your car.”

Zander squeezes me and his blue eyes flash hot. “Fuck yeah.”

“Fuck no,” Braden snorts, disappearing into the crowd with Liv hanging off his neck.

Needless to say, things get wild once Zander and I are alone in his room at O-Chi.

Wild enough that I don’t worry about Liv or Leo or sororities.

This works , I think as I’m perched on the edge of his dresser, my legs wrapped around his hips and my shoulders pressed to the wall.

This is good, me and Zander. It’s the way it should be.

Finally worn out, we collapse onto his bed, me still in his arms.

“Great night,” he murmurs, already half asleep. “I should take you out more often.”

I manage a hum of agreement and fall asleep on his chest.