Page 1

Chapter 1

Henry

My best friend looked like crap. He was sitting on the couch, his knees drawn up to his chin, his eyes wide and red-rimmed, like he might cry. I’d known Jason since Kindergarten and I could remember two times I’d seen him cry, including the time he broke his arm on a skateboard ramp when we were eleven. To see my happy-go-lucky friend this upset was unsettling.

The empty beer bottles around him made our living room look like a landfill, and he was staring at the TV, even though it wasn’t turned on. I wasn’t even sure if he was blinking. Or breathing.

“Henry Choi. Why aren’t you over there?” my wife whispered, shoving me towards the couch.

I shoved back, resisting her forceful attempts to get me to comfort Jason. “I don’t know what to do!”

“Well, do something . He’s your best friend. He’s been here for three hours, and he’s barely moved. I’m not even sure when he drank all of that beer.”

“He’s like one of those angels on Doctor Who. He only drinks when we’re not looking at him,” I whispered. Mari stared at me like I was insane, but come on, what other explanation was there? Bottles were getting emptied somehow, and we never saw him drink.

“Well, why did you give him the whole case?” Mari tolerated Jason, but I wasn’t sure she liked him and she looked more amused than concerned.

“He asked for beer. I sort of shoved it at him and ran. I can’t deal with sad Jason, it’s freaking me out, He’s never acted like this before. He’s not even blinking. Should I check to see if he’s dead?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s not dead.” She tilted her head, her eyes scanning over him. “Maybe he’s in a catatonic state?”

“You’re the doctor. You’d better check him out.”

“I’m an ophthalmologist. I don’t think I can diagnose whatever’s going on with this jackass.” She rolled her eyes and turned towards the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring at the contents.

“I can hear you guys,” Jason said, speaking for the first time since he’d wandered into my house, bleary-eyed, earlier that evening and told me he needed beer.

“So, not a catatonic state?” was Mari’s cheeky response. “Want dinner?”

“You gonna tell us what’s going on?” I stepped closer to him, like he was a wild animal I’d cornered. I wasn’t afraid of Jason, but this weird version of my best friend was freaking me out. He was usually so easygoing, but not now. He seemed… broken.

“Gabi caught me out with another woman,” he mumbled, glancing up at me with wide eyes. “Go ahead, tell me how stupid I am.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.” Mari bit her lip and raised an eyebrow at me. Jason's cheating wasn’t a shocking revelation. He cheated on every woman he was serious about, and they always caught him, but usually he let it roll off his back. He’d always been able to shrug off his breakups, moving on more quickly than I would have thought possible. I wondered what made this time different.

“You screwed things up with Gabi?” I sat on the sofa next to him, bumping my knee against his. He wasn’t much for physical affection, but I thought he needed a hug right about now. Or maybe it was me who wanted the hug, because I was a hugger. “Why do you do this?”

“I don’t know,” he said, his eyes still on the television.

Mari sighed and ducked into the fridge. I heard the clinking of bottles as she got us some drinks. She rustled around in the freezer and found some leftovers that she stuck in the microwave. “Gabi was great for you. I didn’t know you were this serious about her.”

“Yes, you did, Mari. They were at the barbecue last week. He proposed to her?” I shot Mari a questioning look. My wife was crazy smart, but had a tendency to zone out and miss whatever was happening around her. Including my best friend’s big, slightly awkward proposal at our friend Ethan’s barbecue.

Jason scrubbed his hands over his face. “It’s best you missed it. She hesitated and said she needed to think about it.”

“Oh, shit. That’s what happened? I was wondering why everyone was being awkward,” Mari said, popping off the caps on the drinks. She took a long swig of hers.

“I’m so sorry, man,” I said. Mari came over and handed me a beer and Jason a seltzer water. She ruffled his hair affectionately, flashing me a wide-eyed expression that I couldn’t decipher, before taking a seat in the big armchair that sat perpendicular to the couch.

“Thanks Mari.” Jason glanced at me. I raised an eyebrow in question, and he shook his head and sighed. “Your phone has been buzzing nonstop since I got here. Don’t pretend you don’t have a million text messages about it.”

“Wild Butte is a small town. And they love their gossip.” I cleared my throat, taking a drink of my beer while I pondered my answer. “Why were you at the Sandy Creek Tavern with another woman? I mean, fuck, it’s like you wanted to get caught. That’s where everyone goes.”

“I asked Gabi to marry me, and she said she wanted to think about it,” Jason repeated.

“Yeah, I’m not sure that cheating was the right solution there.” Mari’s words were a little harsh, but she reached out and rubbed his thigh, smiling a little, like she was trying to be encouraging. I didn’t feel very encouraging. This wasn’t Jason’s first time cheating on a girlfriend, or his first time getting caught. It was a pattern for him that had started all the way back in high school, and it was irritating as hell.

“Listen, man. It was different when we were teenagers and your relationships weren’t serious, but we’re 26 now. You asked Gabi to marry you, then took another woman out on a date. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I can’t stop,” he whispered.

“What?”

“I can’t stop myself. I had Gabi and I should have been thrilled, right? She’s incredible, and so damn gorgeous, and I was sure she would come around on the proposal thing. She only needed some time. But some random weekend chick comes into town from Denver and… I don’t even know what drew me to her.” He went quiet, spinning the bottle in his fingers, but not drinking.

“Poor impulse control?” Mari suggested. “Stupidity?”

“Mari,” I warned.

“It’s okay,” Jason said dejectedly. “She’s right. Every woman in this town hates me, and for good reason. Gabi probably hesitated at the proposal because she’d heard things.”

“I’m sure she would have said yes. You’re a great catch,” I said.

“And you’re so pretty,” Mari added. I glared at her, and she laughed. “What? He has that long golden hair and those eyes. Even with the man bun, I’d marry him just so I could stare at him all day, every day.” My best friend was undeniably attractive, like a young Chris Hemsworth, with sun-bleached hair and striking blue eyes, and a body honed to perfection by a very expensive personal trainer.

“Too bad you already married me. Gotta settle for the nerdy Asian guy, I guess,” I said, poking her.

“Oh. You’re pretty, too, Henry. Why do you think I married you?” She grinned at me.

“She’s right. Check out that bone structure,” Jason said. “Though you could divorce him and marry me. I have the money and the looks.”

“I own my own restaurant!” I protested.

“You share it with your sister and her husband. Does that count?” The teasing was nice, a bit more of the usual Jason. We joked about his money, because he’d always had more money than he knew what to do with. And he was generous with it.

“You don’t even have a real job,” I shot back. He had flitted around from job to job about as readily as he cheated on his girlfriends. He was working as a fly-fishing guide, but I doubted that would last more than a couple of years. For a while, I’d tried to help him find his passion, but had eventually realized that he was enjoying hopping from job to job and had the means to do so, so it didn’t really matter.

“Is that why I’m destined to be single?” he asked.

“There’s nothing wrong with staying single,” Mari interjected. “No one is saying you need to have a girlfriend or get married. Plenty of people have happy, fulfilled lives without ever marrying.”

He looked at Mari for a second, as if he was trying to sort out the answer to her question. “I see what you guys have, and… I don’t want to be single anymore.”

“Why can’t you keep it in your pants, man? It’s not that difficult.” I’d had this conversation with him before, but it went nowhere. When he was single, he got lonely, and started to look for a girlfriend. When he had a girlfriend, he cheated.

We’d been friends since we were five, when he’d stolen the wheels to my Lego car and I’d punched him in the stomach. Instead of being mad, he’d asked me to teach him how to throw a punch, and I’d explained my martial arts knowledge. He’d joined me at the wushu class my uncle taught at the Wild Butte Rec Center a day later, and we’d been besties ever since.

Of course, it was getting more and more difficult to remain friends with him in adulthood, as he alienated friends of ours with his cheating ways.

He sighed, combing his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. I have a high sex drive, and I don’t want to blame my girlfriends for that. It’s not that they don’t keep me satisfied, only that… I don’t know. It’s not their fault, but could that be why I struggle to control it?”

Mari frowned. “You struggle to stick with things, Jason. Maybe you’ve never done enough to push yourself in that regard.”

“Maybe I’ve never been motivated enough to push myself in that regard,” he muttered.

“Why wouldn’t you be motivated by your relationship with Gabi? She’s great.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know.”

Mari reached forward and did what I hadn’t — she hugged him, pulling him close and whispering something in his ear, and he clung to her like no one had held him for years, though I knew he’d had intimate relationships with a dozen or more women. I had the urge to climb into that hug, to pull him close to me and hold my best friend between us until he felt better.

But that would be awkward, so I sat back and watched. Also, I wasn’t sure he deserved comfort and affection at this moment. It was more like he needed someone to turn him over their knee and spank the idiot out of him.

“Why don’t you stay the night?” Mari said as she shifted away from the tempting-looking hug. “I don’t think you should drive home in this state. I’ll tuck you in, and you can get some sleep.”

“Tuck me in?” His lips quirked to the left, and he looked so boyish and hopeful that I almost laughed.

“Maybe you need someone to take care of you,” she said. And I watched as my grown-ass best friend obediently followed my wife down the hall, and presumably let himself get tucked in. I didn’t follow them, but I heard him ask Mari for a bedtime story, and heard her laugh. A few minutes later, she appeared in the hall, turning off his light and quietly closing the door like he was a toddler that she didn’t want to wake from his nap.

“What was that?” I whispered.

“I know I should think he’s an asshole,” she said, smirking at me. “But I can’t help but see him as a lost little boy, you know?”

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah. I feel the same. But I don’t know what to do to get him un-lost.”