Page 18 of By the Horns (Royal Artifactual Guild #2)

Eleven

Gwenna

I want to kick myself as I go to visit Sparrow the next day. Me and my big fat mouth.

I can’t stop thinking about how I let my stupid guard down, and I let myself relax with Raptor.

I let myself tease him back and then I tripped all over myself.

He’s never mentioned that he was burned across the eyes.

He’s never even acted as if he was injured.

Now he’s going to wonder how I know. It was obvious he didn’t buy into my excuse.

If he knew it was me in the hospital, he’d want to know why I fucked him, and I can’t tell him the truth of it.

Worse, what if he tells the others? Arrod would never leave me alone.

Master Jay might remove me from the team for my relationship with Raptor, even if it was before we fledged. No one can know at all. That’s safest.

Sparrow is at her station in the archives, which is completely unsurprising to me.

Forcing her to take a day off would be like punishment.

She brightens at the sight of me walking up to her desk, a cat perched on a stack of books next to the parchment she’s writing on.

“There you are! How has the first week back as a fledgling been going?”

“It’s interesting,” I say. “Master Jay has a very different mindset compared to Hawk. Did you know he leaves the city every weekend?”

She pets the black cat that walks across her paperwork.

“I’d heard something along those lines, aye.

Hawk says that the other masters aren’t thrilled that Master Jay abandons his students, but they watch them for him on the weekends.

It seems that Master Jay has a long-standing relationship with a farmer’s widow who lives just outside of town.

She won’t give up her land because she wants it to go to her children when they’re old enough, and he won’t leave the guild. So they meet up on weekends.”

It changes my opinion of Master Jay, which, up to this point, has been rather sour. “That’s sweet. I like that they both have a life of their own but manage to make it work together.”

She nods, putting the cat on the floor, only for it to jump back onto her desk again.

A moment later, a striped tabby joins it, followed by a big black-and-white cat with a stump of a tail.

The black-and-white cat takes one look at me and hops into my lap, and I’ve no choice but to pet the beast. I scratch at its ears idly, thinking about guild relationships.

Would I be able to only see my husband (if I had one) on the weekends?

I suppose if there are children, it’s different, but it makes the week long and lonely.

Sparrow pets the cat closest to her and glances at me. “How is your Five this year? I heard that Lark and Mereden weren’t even at recruitment day. What’s going on there, do you know?”

It’s just the right thing to say to distract me from my troubles.

I tell her about Lark and Mereden opting to remain as repeaters, and how they want a baby.

How Mereden is going to try to get a position at the healer’s guild.

Finally I get to the makeup of my new team.

“At least Kipp is with me. It doesn’t feel so strange as long as he’s here. ”

“And Raptor,” Sparrow enthuses. “He’s a good friend of Hawk’s and very skilled. Hawk speaks very highly of him.”

Yet Hawk didn’t take Raptor onto his team this year.

He said he was supposed to pick new students, but Raptor would have been new, wouldn’t he?

Perhaps he felt Raptor didn’t need his help.

Whatever it is, I’m not going to complain to Sparrow.

She adores her husband, and both of them have always been nothing but fair to me.

“Raptor is a shameless flirt,” I tell her, scratching the chin of the cat in my lap.

“But he’s also excellent at all the tests Master Jay has set before us.

I suspect if we pass this year, it’ll be thanks to him. ”

I bite back all my worries about my own skill, because whining to Sparrow will make her feel guilty for my situation, and then she’ll try to get involved.

She’s got a good heart and feels responsible for me, since she brought me to Vastwarren, but I can’t bother her with my petty concerns. I just need to work harder, I decide.

“Any more dead men?” Sparrow asks, her voice hushed as she glances around the book-strewn archives.

“I haven’t felt anything,” I confess, clutching the cat to my chest as I move forward to sit on the edge of my chair. “Have you heard of any other people experiencing what I am? In your research?”

“Yes and no.” She purses her lips. “Most of the books I need seem to live permanently on Jackdaw’s desk, and I don’t love that.

I can’t get them without making him suspicious, so I’ve been reading widely and noting down everything I can find that pertains to mancers.

Sadly, there’s not much. We do know there were different types, and I’ve been able to dig up more information in regard to that. ”

“Like what?”

“Oh, all kinds.” She pulls out a piece of parchment and studies it.

“Like they had different houses that specialized in types of magic. I found an entire pantry list from an old family hold called Dennett that was wiped out in the Mancer Wars, but apparently they specialized in geomancy—that’s earth magic.

And there was another house that specialized in hydromancy. ”

“Water mancers?”

“Aye.” She runs her finger down her list. “Let’s see. Pyromancers, sanguimancers, sarcomancers—those are healers—and here we go. Necromancer. That’s you.”

Necromancer. A mancer who deals with the dead. Finding out that it has a name doesn’t make me feel better. “So it truly is a thing? I’m not crazed?”

“It is absolutely a thing. Widden Hold was in the north and specialized in all things necrotic.” She wrinkles her nose. “?‘Necrotic’ is truly an unpleasant word. Just the sound of it is vile. But yes, northerners. Do you know anything about your ancestors?”

I shake my head. Ma grew up the only daughter of another servant woman, and I never met my father.

They were both from the northern realms, though, and that’s where Honori Hold is, where my mother currently works in the kitchens.

It’s not out of the realm of possibility that some ancestor of mine somehow slipped undetected through the purge after the Mancer Wars, when all those who practiced magic were killed.

“All books pertaining to magic were destroyed in the Mancer Wars,” Sparrow continues.

“I’m waiting to get my hands on a history of northern families from Jackdaw’s desk, but I don’t know that it will say much.

It’s entirely possible they were erased from that particular history, as all the mentions I’ve found are fleeting. I’ll keep trying, though.”

“Don’t bother yourself. It won’t tell us anything other than necromancers existed, not how to turn the powers off. As long as there are no other bodies found, I’m fine. I’ll just devote myself to my studies.”

Sparrow nods, her spectacles sliding down her nose. “I’m glad you’re with Kipp. He knows what he’s doing, and he’s loyal to you. He’s probably the best one on the team.”

I consider this. “Raptor’s even more impressive than Kipp, if I’m being honest. He’s just as competent, and he makes friends everywhere he goes. It can’t hurt to have both of them pull me along as the weaker party.”

“Raptor is friendly,” she admits.

For some reason, her simple praise irritates me. “He’s ridiculous. That Taurian would flirt with a statue…and then the statue would blush!” Why won’t I shut up about him?

“You sound like you don’t like him.”

“I like him just fine,” I protest. I don’t want it getting around that I can’t get along with Hawk’s best friend.

Her eyes gleam. “Aha. You like him too much.”

“Of course not.” But my face gets hot. Why is it I can always keep my cool unless Raptor is mentioned, and then I blush like a virgin?

A cat winds its way across her desk again, and she nudges it aside, her focus on me. “No judgment here, but do you need a charm?”

“A charm? What for?” I’m not following.

“So you can’t get pregnant, of course. There’s nothing wrong with getting close to someone, especially if neither of you have commitments, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that Taurians are notoriously virile.

” She taps her lip with a finger, thinking.

“Oh, wait. There’s not a Conquest Moon.”

“You mean that time when Hawk went into a rut and jumped you back in the crypt?”

“Right.” She blushes bright pink, her tone formal. “Taurians go into rut only at that time and aren’t truly in control of themselves. They aren’t fertile unless it’s the Conquest Moon. It’s when the god’s hand is upon them. I suppose you don’t need birth control after all.”

“It’s sweet of you to worry, but it isn’t necessary.

I’m not sleeping with anyone,” I say primly.

I’m not averse to sex. Sex is amazing. But I don’t want a reputation that I’ve slept my way into the guild.

I haven’t touched anyone since that day with Raptor.

I open my mouth to tell her there’s no way I can be pregnant…

…and then I stop.

Because I’ve not had my period. Not in two months. Granted, I’ve skipped for a month or two before because of stress, and it’s certainly been stressful lately.

I also had sex with a Taurian recently.

A notoriously virile Taurian.

Who has a knot outside of the Conquest Moon. Does that mean he’s fertile outside of it, too?

Oh gods. Am I pregnant ? On top of everything else?

I want to run out of the room and throw up, but I don’t know if that’s nerves or morning sickness.

Digging my fingers into my palms, I offer Aspeth a tight smile.

“I’m good, but thank you. Master Jay has us all bunking in the same room to build companionship, so it’s not as if I’d have time alone with him. ”

“He does? Ew.” She wrinkles her nose, which causes her spectacles to slide down.

“He does,” I agree, voice firm to hide my trembling. “And on that note, I should probably return before someone starts looking for me. I’m supposed to be helping out with laundry to earn a few coins.”

It’s a lie, because I’m refusing to touch any sort of chore out of fear that someone will catch me. But it sounds like something I’d do, and it’ll give me an excuse to leave. I drop the cat out of my lap and give Sparrow a hug, because she’s obsessed with hugs now.

Then I quickly exit back onto the cobbled roads of Vastwarren. The bustle of the afternoon streets feels like a relief. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and letting the city’s stink wash over me.

It doesn’t help.

What am I going to do if I’m mucking pregnant ?