Page 26 of Buzz Kill (Smoke & Mirrors Tavern #7)

Chapter twenty-six

DECLAN

It was the kind of dark where it took a moment to figure out if my eyes were really open. Not a hint of light appeared under a door or beside a curtain. Wherever I was, the room was closed up tight.

Before my brain even caught up to the situation I was in, I knew it was a place I’d never willingly go on my own. It wasn’t that I was afraid of the dark, but I knew from experience the kinds of things that could hide in it. I would’ve killed for a drink at that moment, and only when my fingers twitched reflexively did I realize my wrists were strapped down.

The flash of panic forced some of the fogginess away as the pieces came back to me. Specifically, the demon who’d led Benning right to me. That fucking bitch . It was only a matter of time before Deimos tracked me down using the connection he’d long ago linked to me, but I’d thought I was safe while I was out of town. That little trip to fight the powrie must have brought me close enough for them to pick up my trail.

I twisted my wrist hard until I could just touch the restraint and activated the spell on my hand. It really would have been nice if the damn thing broke, but my life was never that easy. No magic, then. And even when I tugged until my wrists were bleeding, the cuffs held firm.

It’s fine, I told myself even as my chest tightened. What could she do to me that hadn’t been done already? It wasn’t like she could kill me. The worst she could do was take me back to my family. I’d escaped before, I could do it again. Eventually.

But how long would I be trapped with them before that happened?

Alwin was going to be pissed when I wasn’t at the exit point. Would he try to find me? My heart gave a little pang at the thought, but my brain stepped in as the voice of reason. I hadn’t ended up in the hands of the hunters, this was my family that had snuck in and used the situation to their advantage. And it happened while I’d been deviating from the mission. The recruits were never part of the plan. I was the one who’d insisted on trying to get them to see the truth. I was the one who’d stubbornly gone off on my own and I was the one who’d paid the price.

Alwin was an expert at tracking and he’d figure out who took me soon enough. Once he realized it had nothing to do with the hunters or the mission, there would be no reason for him to interfere. Besides, it was hard to forget that last look he’d given me as I walked out that door. That elf was pissed. I’d burned my one and only bridge to ash and now it was time to live with the consequences.

It didn’t matter, though. Even if I hadn’t pushed him away, no one ever stuck around for long. Alwin had stayed longer than anyone else, a testament to the kind of man he was. But no fantasy lasted forever and it was time to let him go. If nothing else, the memories of the last few months would carry me through whatever hell came next.

As if thoughts of hell had summoned her, the door opened and Acacia walked in with that evil smile on her fake face and a lantern in her hand. “Declan my love, I always find you in the most interesting places. Mixed up with hunters this time? Who could have imagined?”

I gritted my teeth. “Is a spot in my family really worth all this? God only knows what you’ve offered the hunters in exchange for me, what happens when they use it against our own kind? Do you even care that you’re helping the enemy?”

“I did what I had to. My beloved fiancé was mixed up with hunters, of course I’d pay any price to get you back.” Acacia set the lantern on a table next to the bed and gave me a soft look before trailing a finger down my chest. “Look how much you’ve grown up these last few years.”

I shrank away from her. “What are you doing?”

“I’m finally taking what was promised to me all those years ago. I have been more than patient while you scampered off every chance you got, and your father made excuse after excuse. Your parents swore you would fall in line eventually but look at you. It’s obvious by now, isn’t it?”

“That I’m never going to want anything to do with you or him? That should have been obvious thirty years ago when he offered me to you in the first place. What kind of creepy old hag makes a little kid her fiancé?”

To look at her, Acacia appeared to be a flawlessly beautiful woman in her twenties. In reality, she was at least a hundred years old and her heart and soul were as hideous as the narcissistic personality she hid behind that painted red smile. It was all I saw when I looked at her.

When my father had first introduced her to me as a child, she’d played the part of a friendly older sister type. Pretending to have my back and protect me from my father. In reality she was working with him, playing good cop, bad cop to coax me into using magic.

While she never got me to cast, her act did work at first. I’d stupidly thought of her as a friend. And then I learned that someone like me doesn’t really get to have things like friends. Every person that ever entered my life was only there to use me for their own purposes and Acacia was no exception. She used every trick in her book to manipulate me.

It was a few years before I finally saw her for what she was, and I realized how stupid I’d been. After that, there was no point in keeping up the act anymore. Acacia was nothing more than an extension of my father.

“You haven’t been a child for a long time,” Acacia said as she peeled off her dress revealing what I assumed she thought was sexy lingerie.

I wrinkled my nose. “What the hell are you doing?”

She climbed on the bed and settled herself over my lap, unzipping my pants and peeling them open so my boxers and utter lack of interest were visible. “I already told you, I’m taking what’s been promised to me.”

I shot her the coldest look I could manage and tugged at the restraints again. “Get the hell off me.”

Her cold fingers sliding under my shirt brought the sensation of bugs crawling over my skin, and I shuddered in revulsion.

“You used to look at me with adoration. You told me I was beautiful, that you loved me.”

“Yes, congrats,” I muttered dryly. “You manipulated a stupid child who was so desperate for a crumb of kindness he would even accept it from you. Even my stupidity has its limits. You’re clinging to the words of a little kid you lied to for two years. That’s just pathetic. Get off me. I will never give you what you want. You disgust me.”

Acacia’s pretty face twisted into an ugly sneer as she tried to tantalize me and failed miserably. She leaned forward until her boobs were practically in my face and I rolled my eyes. Her touch made me sick, but I refused to let her see my fear. It was bad enough that I knew her demon was somewhere nearby, feeding off of it.

When little Declan remained completely unmoved by her, she sat up and ground down on my lap with a huff. “What, are you only attracted to men now? I’m prettier than he is!”

I snorted. “Not even close. And I’ve never been that picky, I like women fine. Just not you. Get off me, it’s never going to happen.”

The difference between Acacia and my family was that while they’d agreed to offer me up to her at a young age in exchange for her help bring me in line, Acacia’s bloodline, while strong, didn’t compare to the Prescott’s. If Acacia couldn’t do what my family wanted, there were a dozen other sorceresses they could get to take her place. All just as evil, no doubt.

Acacia had a lot more to lose if she couldn’t get me to fall in line or provide an heir. But just the thought of putting another person through all the things I’d barely survived made me sick. No matter how she tried to manipulate me, I would never sleep with her.

Unexpectedly, a cruel smile curled up the corners of Acacia’s lips. “I gave you every chance to do this nicely, Declan. This is your fault.”

I froze at her words, a pit of ice forming in my chest. She was far too confident for my liking, but it wasn’t like she’d ever succeeded at this kind of thing before. She’d tried to use my mother’s succubus to get an heir out of me years ago, but the spell on my hands prevented her success. I could dispel any magic she cast on my body, so what was with that smile?

Acacia took one sharp fingernail and dragged it over my chest, cutting shallowly into my skin until blood bubbled up along the marks she made.

“You know your magic won’t work, why bother?” I asked as she carved her spell into my chest.

She didn’t answer, focused on her casting, which told me it was a newly learned spell.

The cursed tattoos didn’t react, of course, not at all affected by pain or injury unless it killed me. But while I waited for her spell to spread through my body so I could use the spell on my hands, it never did. What the hell was she doing? Any kind of sex magic had to be cast on the body. If she was trying to force my body to react, I’d be able to stop it, just like I always had.

But strangely, the magic didn’t spread through my body. Even if she’d found a love spell that was remotely useful, it wouldn’t work when I had such a visceral revulsion toward her. Even the most powerful love potions in the world couldn’t make you fall in love with someone you truly hated. They could only enhance feelings you already had. She couldn’t manipulate my feelings or my body, I knew that, and yet my unease only grew as she completed the spell.

A hazy field of faintly glowing white floated up from the bloody spell circle, but the magic remained localized to my chest for the moment. It couldn’t work. My body and my emotions were completely unaffected, but the smile on her blood-red lips never faded.

Despite the apparent failure of her efforts, a quiver of panic had me tugging at the restraints, trying to find some part of my body I could touch to activate the spell on my hands. But Acacia knew what she was doing when she tied me up.

She let out a chuckle. “I know that trick of yours too well by now.”

When she was done carving up my chest, she used her fingers to dot blood on my temples and then licked the remaining blood from her finger.

I blinked at her in confusion as my head became heavy and a dream-like fog made it hard to concentrate. But even so, I took stock of my body and noted that it was still unaffected. I couldn’t dispel magic that was localized to my head while my hands were tied down, but that magic also couldn’t make my body react against my will. So what was the point?

“What the hell are you doing?” I murmured.

“It’s time to sleep, my love.”

Her whispers seemed to follow me as I drifted into a place between sleep and awake. I repeatedly tried to activate the spell on my hands, even as it became hard to remember why, or what I’d been doing. Even as my mind became muddled and foggy, a lingering sense of wariness reminded me to keep my guard up. I’d learned long ago never to ignore it when my gut told me something wasn’t right.

My parents had tried everything from hypnosis to near death experiences to try to force magic out of me over the years and only this bone-deep terror, this soul-shaking fear that I would become like them kept me from giving in even when I wasn’t fully aware of what I was doing. It was like this resistance was now imprinted on every cell in my body, because the only thing worse than becoming the Prescott heir they wanted me to be, was the thought of bringing another heir into the world for them to mold into the one to take my place. It was literally my worst nightmare.

The feeling of not being in control kept me on guard. It was their favorite trick, addle the mind and you can manipulate what you want out of someone. The key was to do it subtly, so the affected didn’t even know they were being manipulated. But I was far too experienced in dealing with my family, and I would rather die than give them what they wanted. Hell, I had died, many times after they’d discovered my curse. Once they knew they could no longer kill me, they didn’t bother holding back. As long as there was a body left to restore, it was a free for all.

They’d really upped their game after that. I’d been so smug, thinking once again that I’d beaten the system, only to learn there were a million things far worse than death. And my family was proficient in all of them. They’d truly taught me just how much of a curse it really was to not be able to die.

My mind was wandering, but I was supposed to be paying attention to something. Why was it so hard to concentrate? Focus. What was happening around me? It took a long while to realize someone was touching me, stroking their cold bony hand down my stomach and up my thighs. I shrank away in revulsion. It wasn’t the first time they’d tried something like this, but it had never worked before.

Again and again, I tried to activate the spell on my hands, but my mind wasn’t clearing. I needed to touch my head, but for some reason, I couldn’t reach it. Where was I again?

A garden? I’d dreamt of this place before. Strange but beautiful flowers surrounded me and for some reason this place made me feel safe. No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t this place, it was…

“Declan.”

Alwin . The tall, beautiful elf walked toward me, his movements graceful and fluid. Gods, how was he real? Even the way he walked was indescribably beautiful. I’d seen this man in my dreams a million times and I never seemed to get enough. During the day I was hindered by reality, but at night I could stare as much as I wanted. Crystal blue eyes and long, pale blond hair, his tall, lithe frame with the power of ten men. He was truly the sexiest thing I’d ever seen and when he pressed me back against the garden wall and trailed soft kisses up my neck, I didn’t resist.

But it quickly became clear that something wasn’t right. Alwin’s touch was soft and yielding. Appeasing, but not hungry. There was none of the usual urgency he had when he touched me. The strength that told me he was torn between wanting to tear my clothes off and teach me a lesson. The way it always felt like he was riding a line between roughing me up and holding back so he didn’t hurt me.

I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back so I could look at his face. The corner of Alwin’s lips curved up and my eyes were glued to the movement.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“Who are you?” I demanded, shoving him away.

The expression on Alwin’s face went carefully blank. “What do you mean? It’s me.”

I shook my head mutely and examined his face, but there wasn’t anything there that told me this wasn’t Alwin. Every flawless inch of his face was exactly the same, it was as if someone had plucked him from my dreams and dropped him in front of me. And yet… it was all wrong.

I shoved against his chest and activated the spell on my hands, expecting a glamour or illusion to break away, but nothing happened.

Alwin caught my wrist and held it firmly. “Don’t be scared. You were injured and I brought you here, remember? You have a stomach wound that hasn’t fully healed. You need to calm down before you make your injury worse.”

A stomach wound? Now that I thought about it, there was a faint ache lingering in my stomach. Was that why Alwin was being so gentle? I looked at his face again, trying to find anything amiss, but he just watched me in return as if waiting for something.

“My head feels funny,” I said, struggling to concentrate.

“Maybe you hit your head as well,” Alwin answered, unconcerned.

Did I? It would explain some things, but something about this still didn’t feel right. Alwin pulled me into his arms again and this time I let him as I tried to organize my thoughts and failed. Soon his hands wandered, distracting me from my fuzzy head and he kissed me again. This time I ignored the strange warning at the different way he touched me and accepted the comfort he offered. I was so tired for some reason, and I just wanted to curl up in his arms and hide from the world.

Alwin laid me down on the flowering grass and moss in his garden and removed his tunic and belts before tugging at my clothes. His strong chest and shoulders held all of my attention, and I couldn’t help but sigh at how beautiful he was. His crystal blue eyes went to my face and for some reason, it almost looked like a flicker of annoyance flashed in his expression but when I looked again it was gone and he was focused on my body again.

My eyes fell closed as his hand cupped my cock over my boxers and stroked.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Does that feel good?”

“Mmm,” I murmured without thinking, my head a little too slow to catch up until he made a glaring mistake.

Alwin nipped my earlobe. “Tell me you love me.”

Ice filled my veins and my eyes snapped open just as he started trailing kisses down my chest. In a panic, I scrambled away, knocking Alwin back in a way that shouldn’t have been possible. I tugged my shirt down and zipped my pants as I ran.

Alwin sighed from behind me. “I overestimated your relationship with the elf. How sad for you. Deimos, again.”

No, no, no. I had to get out of here. She was using my own dreams against me to get my body to react. How the hell was I supposed to escape my own head when someone else was controlling my dreams? I couldn’t give in. I wouldn’t forget.

“Declan?”

Alwin’s deep voice had an instant soothing effect on my nerves and I looked up in confusion.

“Alwin? What are you doing here?”

“What happened? What are you hiding from?”

I looked around and sure enough I was huddled behind a trellis in Alwin’s garden. My head was spinning and I couldn’t even remember what caused the panic that made my hands tremble.

“I… don’t remember, something was here. Something awful.”

Al’s brow twitched, but he held out a hand to me. “There’s nothing here but me.”

Those words loosened my shoulders a little. “Are you sure?”

“Whatever scared you must be gone now.”

I took his hand and let him pull me to my feet. Alwin knew this place better than anyone and with his skills, he would know best if there was anything dangerous lingering around.

Seeing me relax at his words, Alwin cocked his head a little and then pulled me into his arms. “I’ll keep you safe.”

Feeling a little embarrassed, I pulled away and stood on my own two feet. “Yeah, sorry. I’m good.”

Alwin cupped a hand behind my neck and pulled me into a kiss, surprising me with the suddenness.

I pulled away and examined his face. “What’s up with you?”

“Don’t you want to kiss me?” he asked.

It was a strange question. One, because of course I wanted to kiss him, but two, because he hadn’t even checked the area for the threat before letting himself get distracted. It was rather unlike Alwin to put such a thing before our safety. In fact, it was like he didn’t believe me when I said there was a threat. He’d dismissed it completely without even looking. There’d never been a time when he hadn’t trusted my judgement before.

“I’m more wondering why you wanted to kiss me at a time like this?”

Alwin hesitated, as if choosing his response carefully. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision and drew his sword. “You’re right. I’ll make sure it’s safe first.”

He brandished the sword awkwardly and walked the perimeter of the gardens. And even though he was going through the motions, it all came off as fake. Like he was doing nothing but appeasing me. Like I was nothing but a joke. Any respect he’d once had for me and my instincts was now non-existent and my chest ached at the thought.

A little humiliated, I turned and walked away, unwilling to stay another second no matter what may be out there.

Alwin chased me to the gates of his court. “What are you doing?”

“Leaving.”

“Why? I did what you wanted!”

At the frustration in his voice, I turned and gave the man another look. Everything about him was exactly right, from the point of his ears to his leather boots. And yet, nothing about him was right at all.

“Who are you?” I demanded.

Alwin’s lips pressed together and he snapped. “Deimos!”

My eyes widened in horror. Acacia. No wonder she’d shoved her tongue down my throat the first chance she got. My lip curled in disgust and I raised both hands to smack my face, trying to wake myself up. It was no use, if it was Deimos controlling this dream, he could trap me for as long as he wanted. I activated the spell on my hands again and again, but nothing seemed to work.

No, no, no, wake up! Despair filled my chest and I slapped myself harder. How many times had she tried this? How many times would I figure it out before she learned enough to successfully imitate him? Would I really never make a mistake if she had forever to figure it out? My eyes burned with frustration.

The world around me wavered and fogged over and when I blinked, Alwin was there to steady me.

“I’ve got you,” he assured me. “Dizzy spell? You hit your head pretty hard, you should rest.”

“My head?” I asked, reaching up to rub my forehead.

My head did feel strange, I was completely disoriented. I let Alwin pull me into his house and up to the bedroom where he pulled my clothes off and settled me in his bed before climbing in next to me.

He carded his fingers through my hair gently. “Is that better?”

“What happened?”

“We were attacked on the way here, but you’re safe now. I took care of it, just relax.”

Alwin pressed kisses down my chest, but for some reason I grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back when he reached my stomach.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I…” What was wrong? I didn’t even know why I’d done that.

Before I could come up with some kind of excuse, Alwin sat up suddenly, his head turning sharply.

Seeing him react to a threat, I sat up as well. “What is it?”

He snarled in fury as he slid off the bed and I froze at the blatant show of emotion.

“Dei—” Whatever Alwin was going to say cut off suddenly as he grabbed his head and screamed.

And the world shattered.