Page 16

LOST SOUL

T he door being slammed open and the heavy weight of being picked up by two men, Killian and Jessie, sends me into shock.

My first thought is to kick and scream, but a hand is soon covering my mouth, stopping me, and another hand tightens around my legs, trapping me.

A sharp prick of a needle is inserted into my arm, until my hands become less and less heavy, the same as my whole body. I'm sent to the pits of darkness again.

My eyes open slowly, still heavy. I’m in some sort of basement.

My hands are tied behind me. Fuck, panic sets in.

My eyes open fully, and I see Killian and Jessie standing beside each other.

“What the fuck? Get me out of here. Please, I have been good. Get me out of here!” I yell, trying to break free, but it’s no use. Killian comes over, kneeling to my height.

“Shh, come on, we wouldn’t hurt you, but the more you scream, the more likely they are to come down, and we all will be dead,” Killian says, wiping my face as tears form without me noticing.

“Okay, sorry, I just got scared,” I say in a faint voice. I’m not stupid enough to trust them. For all I know, they are in on all of this, but I need all the help I can get.

The worst that will happen is that I will die.

“It’s okay, baby, we just needed to get you alone. We need you to listen to what we’re going to say.” I nod, trying to stay still so the rope won’t rub against my skin and burn me.

“Okay,” I murmur, my voice slowly becoming less shaky. They both stand looking at me, leaning against what looks like a wooden shelf. I have never felt more on edge than I do at this very moment.

“We have a plan; we can get you out of here, but for that to happen, Jessie is going to claim you and outbid your current buyer,” Killian tells me as I try to collect my thoughts for a second. Who is my current bidder, and why do they know and I don't?

I’m yet to be sold or bid, but I have heard from the other girls that they must claim you in front of everyone when you are brought.

One reason they keep you a virgin. They let the men do whatever they want as long as they don’t take your virginity. Most of the men like to do anal or fuck you with other things.

My stomach turns at the thought of my first night here. He came into my room, shoved me face down, holding me as my pants were pulled down. My legs were spread wide open, and a heel was pushed inside me in and out for what felt like a lifetime.

I told him no. I screamed and kicked. I tried.

I fucking tried to get him off me but all it did was make him hold me down tighter and choke me harder. Saying no should have been enough, but it wasn’t even the bare minimum.

These men get off on us saying no. They want us to beg them to stop, beg them not to fuck us. All it does is make them do it harder.

There is one girl, Phoebe.

She is older than me and has been here longer. She’s known as the crystal. She’s worth more than anyone here.

She has been here so long that there isn’t anything left, not a single soul inside her. She doesn’t cry or scream when he comes into her room.

The numbness that consumes her would worry a normal person, but to me, Phoebe is doing the only thing possible in this place.

I’m not sure how long I have been in this place, but it’s been more than a week, maybe months or years. I have lost track of time. My father is nowhere to be seen.

Killian’s voice takes me back to reality.

Now that I think about it, this basement looks vaguely like the one I was in for weeks. This is the same basement I was kept in by that man. I wasn’t hurt, but it stopped me from having to go through the bidding.

I was never bought.

Everyone thinks the man who comes to visit me is the one who’s buying me, but I’m not so sure. I think he just paid to do whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t take my virginity before I was sold.

The thought that someone could buy me like I’m only worth some cash makes my skin crawl.

“I have been here before; in this basement, I was kept down here for what felt like weeks.”

They both look at me, confused and concerned; I’m not crazy. I remember being down here. Or do I? Am I just going crazy being in this place?

I wouldn’t be the first one. I haven’t stepped outside since I was kidnapped.

I’ve lost any sense of what the outside world is, how it would feel to breathe from the outside into my lungs, or how touching some grass would feel, even just doing simple things like going out with my friends.

I know they think I'm dead, or my dad told everyone I was. I would do anything to feel the cold breeze of the air on my skin or how my hair would stick to the clear lip gloss I would wear for school, but no matter how many times my hair stuck, I still kept wearing it.

Jessie kneels to my level, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“You haven’t been down here. Maybe it was a dream,” Jessie tells me, and he’s probably right. If they say I wasn’t down here, then they are right.

I would argue with him if my life weren’t such a mess right now.

I don’t trust Jessie. I met him after I had been here a few years.

He’s sketchy, but told me he’s going to get me out of here. Whether that happens or not, I’m still waiting.

I have been here since I was fifteen, and now, I’m twenty-eight. I have been in this hellhole for twelve years. I have been beaten, raped, chased, and watched people be sacrificed just like my mother was.

My father is yet to be seen. He’s around here.

I know he is. I found out he runs this whole place, and when he was always busy in his office, it wasn’t to do with the business our mother went through.

He is the leader of one of the world’s largest human trafficking rings. He never wanted kids; all he wanted was for us to get old enough so he could make money off us.

You would think this is only in the UK, but it’s worldwide.

The horrors I have seen through these walls are things no person should have to live with.

“Look, Ash, when, and I mean when, Jessie is told to claim you in front of everyone, I need you to understand he has no other choice unless you want to die in this place.” What he means is he has to take my virginity, fuck me rough and make it look like hard-core rape because those sick bastards get off on it.

The bitter taste roams around my touch.

“I know and I’m ready,” I breathe, my body shaking. What else could I say? If this is what I have to do to leave this hellhole place, then I will.

I’m tired and brought back to my room, where Killian stays outside. I sit on my bed drawing a shape letter with my finger for hours.

The door is slammed open, and the man returns. Fear coats my eyes, knowing what’s going to happen.

“I have missed you. I hope you’re ready for what I have planned,” the man's crude voice echoes as he walks closer to me, sitting on the edge of my half-broken, ripped bed. -

I shuffle back, ensuring he can’t touch me, but it’s useless.

I’m not in control, no matter how much I want to be. I will never be.

“Stand up and undress for me. Slowly,” he demands I get up from my bed standing up straight, removing the straps from my vest top, slowly moving it down my body to reveal my tits. Next, I’m told to take off my sweatpants, leaving me bare. They don’t give us underwear.

My body is twitching from the emotionlessness within me. I stand naked in front of the man, waiting for his next instruction.

He looks deep into my eyes like he’s looking for my soul.

A soul I’m not sure I still have.

His heavy footsteps jerk my body forward before he grips my arms, pinching my skin. He throws me on the bed face down, back slightly arched.

The sound of his zipper opening and jeans coming down has my eyes filling with trepidation, tears form at the back waiting to spill, but I don't let them escape.

I know what’s about to happen.

I' m in the same position every time the man leaves me. Face down on the bed, unable to move, too numb to try, and Killian comes in and cleans me up.

He carries me to the bathroom, placing my body in the hot, steamy water.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against me, taking a cloth in the water and wiping it over my back to clean off the man’s cum. His favourite thing to do is to get off on me being held down as he finishes on me.

I never complain.

I'd rather he did that than stick stuff up, leaving me feeling more pain than I already do.

“I know…” I whisper to him as he takes the showerhead, drenching my hair. He takes the shampoo, lathers it up, and then applies conditioner.

Tonight is the night of the bid, and I can't escape this one.

Jessie has to have more money than anyone, and that won't be a problem.

I’m carried back to my room, where a lilac dress and a bag of makeup are laid on my bed.

I leave my hair to dry naturally, as they are not going to let us use a hair dryer.

My legs cross on the bed as I open the bag of makeup I was given. I take the mini eyeshadow palette and open it, looking in the mirror to see dark circles and no life in my face.

I apply a brown eyeshadow to my eyes, finishing with a pearl shimmer in the middle. I use a light base of makeup.

When I finish, I take my hands and scrunch my hair to make my natural curls more defined.

This is the first time in years I have dressed up or felt like a human.

Killian comes toward my room, leaving the door open as he is ordered. I drop my towel and pick up the dress. I start stepping into it as Killian zips me up and passes me a pair of heels.

The same heels I was made to take.

I hesitate to take them off him, but when I do, I throw them on the floor. I put them on, trying to forget the memories that haunt me.

“I didn't have a choice.” I grow angry; he did have a choice; everyone has one, and he just chose the wrong one.

“Are you sure about that? You did have a choice.” I snarl at him, crossing my arms. Now is not the time for me to get worked up.

“Ash, now isn't the time for this.” I roll my eyes as he speaks.