Page 8

Eight

Cadee was the first one out the door at the end of the early morning briefing—a new spur of the fire was heading out toward Rough Campground.

No way was she going to stick around and have to face Vince again. Not after their conversation last night. She’d been such an idiot thinking he might want to get back together.

She would’ve helped him. Stood by him.

But he’d thrown it all in her face. Forget Vince. Just fight fires.

Logan jogged up beside her. “Everything okay?”

She glanced over at him and saw Vince going the opposite way, down the hall. Avoiding her? She tore her eyes away from the guy determined to run away from her.

Cadee said, “Yeah, just anxious to get out there and fight fire. I’m gonna make sure my gear is checked over, ready to go.”

He volleyed his phone from hand to hand. “I meant is everything okay with Vince.”

She felt the blood rush into her cheeks. “No offense, but I don’t think Vince and I are any of your business. He’s got enough to worry about.”

He shifted feet. “I only meant to say that Vince is struggling with his faith.”

“What faith? He doesn’t even believe in God.” She was struggling as well, if she was honest, even if she hadn’t turned her back on God.

Logan said, “That’s where I think you’re wrong. He knows God is real, he just needs to trust in Him.”

Cadee couldn’t help remembering her sister’s words from the night before. Trust has to be rebuilt. “We all have a lot to work out. It’s part of life.”

His gaze pierced her. “‘Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.’”

Were they even talking about Vince anymore? Her throat squeezed. “Ephesians Four. Thanks for basically telling me I’m a horrible person.”

“Cadee—”

She turned and pushed through the door.

“That’s not what I meant. I said ‘let.’ That verse is all about grace. Grace .” Logan’s voice drifted down the stairs toward her, but she descended faster with each step until she was running. Those were not tears running down her face.

Cadee took the long way around the office, giving herself a minute to pull it together. At the side of the building, she stopped, panting, elbows on knees. She wiped her face and straightened up. Leaned against the wall, trying to hum her favorite hymn, “Amazing Grace,” but the notes didn’t seem to want to come. All she could remember was a line about fear, and not how she could get rid of it.

Was she really afraid of getting hurt again?

In keeping the crew at a distance, had she turned into an awful person?

She kicked off the side of the office building and walked to the cabins so she could grab a couple of protein bars for later. Raine and Sanchez, a couple of the hotshots, passed her, mid conversation.

“…I heard him say it. An arrest warrant. Can you believe that?” Raine shook her head.

Sanchez said, “What is he going to do, Cadee?”

“He was asking Tucker for a couple of days to go figure out what was going on. Like he’s gonna find evidence or something? I don’t know. Tucker didn’t give him an answer yet. Logan told him that verse from Exodus. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace. I don’t think Vince liked the idea of doing nothing, waiting for God to fix it.”

Sanchez didn’t say anything in response to that. The two women climbed the steps to the women’s cabin.

Cadee stared at the men’s cabin, thinking about that text from Vince about Logan’s Exodus advice and Tucker deciding not to give him the days off.

Was he going to leave?

Without thinking about it, Cadee jogged to the men’s cabin. The guys were practically moving in choreography as they prepared to head out on the bus to the fire they’d been briefed on.

Good thing she had already checked her gear. Because she needed to talk to Vince.

But she didn’t see him.

On the far side of the cabin, by the RV spots, Vince tossed a duffel bag into the backseat of his vehicle.

She hurried over. “Hey.”

“Just a sec.” He backed out of his truck with a soft smile. “Hey, Cadee.”

“Whatcha doing, Vince?”

“I had to get my charger plugged into my truck. Wanted my playlist for the road.”

Her stomach dropped. “You’re really leaving?”

He leaned his back up against the truck. “I need to find out what on earth is going on with that DEA warrant. I can’t wait for Tucker to give me some days off. I can’t just pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“We have a fire.” She looked at her watch. “Wheels up in twenty minutes.”

She wanted to tell him that people could die and he was being selfish. But wouldn’t she do the same in his position? Fighting fires and not knowing if he’d be a free man tomorrow would be hard.

Then again, even though he’d rejected her and their relationship, maybe she just wanted him nearby. Didn’t want to let him go again.

He pinched his lips together and started back to the cabin. She followed him to his room and stood by the door. He said, “My mind just started wandering during the briefing, and I realized I can’t fight the fire with everyone. It’s time for me to figure out what’s going on before the DEA comes and yanks me out of a wildfire fight. I followed my dad here, and now I’m not going to lose this job because someone doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”

“I need to tell you something.”

He sighed. “I need to get on the road.”

“I promise this has a point.” Did he think she was trying to get him back? He’d made it clear where they stood, but she still cared about him. Cadee wandered over and sank onto the edge of the bed.

He shifted his suitcase, sat next to her on the cot.

“I was made fun of a lot. One girl in elementary told the teacher I stole her lunch?—”

He laughed. Hard. “You stole someone’s lunch?”

Her fake glare didn’t last more than a second before a laugh escaped from her. “Of course not. It was an all-out lie—a good lie—so the teacher believed that girl. I was banned from the amusement park field trip and spent the field trip day writing an essay. Same girl in high school tattled to my prom date that I got my dress at a thrift store. He ghosted me.”

“Ouch.”

She nodded. “I spent the evening at the indoor climbing gym. The owner comped me my ticket and offered me a job. I spent all my off-hours training to become a hotshot after that.”

Vince played with the handle of his suitcase, listening but obviously eager to go.

She scanned the knots and small splits in the logs of the cabin for a long moment. She swallowed. “After I came back up to Alaska to be a smokejumper, I was sitting at the mess hall table here once, trying to figure out my bank account. Your dad sat down and helped me. He taught me how to handle money, week by week. He taught me how to, uh, unlearn bad habits I learned from my parents.”

Vince reached forward, covered her hand with his. “Dad was a smart man.”

She threw back her head, laughing. “But he was not an accountant.”

Vince’s mouth curled up to one side. “He was a firefighter.”

She pulled her hand out from under his. “And that’s it, Vince. He was a real man who knew real things, like budgets. And he lived real things—he lived the truth of what he believed. He died trusting God would take care of him, no matter what.”

“Adulting and faith. That was Dad.” He stood up, grabbed his suitcase. “I’ve gotta go. Tell everyone thanks for understanding. And thank you for understanding too. See you soon.”

Vince was going to walk away. But she had to finish her point and say what he needed to hear, or he might not come back.

He dipped his head and strode toward the front door.

“Vince!” Cadee called from behind him.

The ring of that voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He wanted to stay. Didn’t she know how tempting she made it to give up what he knew he needed to do and stick around?

For her. The way she’d snorted a laugh at the firepit last night.

The way she’d leaned into his space, promised to have his back.

The way she’d held his hand.

He wanted to stay, pull her into his arms. But he wasn’t free to do that.

Not yet.

“Your dad laid a strong foundation of faith for me. There’s no way he didn’t tell you what he believed.”

He set down his suitcase. So that was the point she was taking the long way toward. He turned around. “So what? He’s gone.” But he knew she saw a sheen of grief in his eyes.

“The Bible I use? He gave it to me.”

“Wide margins for making notes?”

Cadee chuckled. “Yep.”

Logan jogged past them. “Fifteen minutes to wheels up,” he called on his way out the door.

Maybe the DEA would believe the lies against him like the teacher had believed the lie that Cadee had stolen someone’s lunch. If this was their last conversation…

Vince turned around. “Is your fire pack ready?”

She nodded. “I put it on the bus before the briefing.”

He rocked on his heels. “Okay. I’m listening. But I need to go. You need to go.”

“You followed your dad here. You’re leaving the fight against fires?”

“I want to clear my name, not get dragged down into the mud and wind up in prison because I didn’t fight for my innocence.”

With a sigh, she deliberately siphoned off her frustration. Her deep-blue eyes gentled. “Clear your name?”

His heart beat hard. Yeah, she’d caught that.

Would she walk away if he told her? Probably. But this was Cadee he was talking to. Even if this wasn’t a coffee date like they used to have.

He sat back down on his cot, next to her.

“Tell me, Vince. I’m here,” she said.

Okay. He would then. “My mom was an embezzler. Of course, she ended up in prison. That’s, I think, why I wanted to join law enforcement, because I didn’t like the idea of other kids going through what I had. Having to live with keeping secrets for her and then watching her whole fabricated life fall down around her. It ruined my dad. That’s why he was so careful with money. After college, I applied for, and was offered, a DEA slot, and I wanted it. Bad. But Dad wanted me to join him as a firefighter so I could continue his legacy. We fought. A lot.”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do this. I just wanted to be a Fed more. ” He lifted his hands in admission. “Anyway, I just wanted to show that our family was not criminal, but that we stood for what is right.”

“Fighting your dad, because you want to fight for what is right?”

“Hadn’t exactly thought of it that way.”

She shrugged. “Not sure Cap was against you fighting for justice.”

“But then Logan gave me that sage advice, supposedly, about saying nothing. Letting God fight for me.” He shook his head. That had never been his reality. He’d had to fight for everything.

“And he can’t be right?”

Vince said, “My dad was just sure I had a calling from God to be a hotshot and then a smokejumper, not law enforcement. But I wasn’t into God at that point.”

Or now. The ping of truth raced up his spine.

He hadn’t thought of it that way , either.

Vince continued. “I joined the DEA in California after college, had a great partner—Nick, the guy I talked to in Ingriq. We had solid success against the criminal world. We were clicking, getting results. Then I got accused of money laundering.”

Cadee’s jaw dropped, then she snapped it shut. “Really?”

He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “Yeah. I suspect these new charges are related to that old case.”

Cadee’s eyes widened.

“So late last night I asked Jamie to do some digging for me.”

“Jamie rocks.”

He nodded. “Looking into the old case, she discovered that someone—she hasn’t tracked down who yet—had loaded a bank account with money laundered through real estate. The DEA thought it was mine since I’d owned an account in the same bank. They added that ‘coincidence’ to my mom’s embezzlement and dug into my past. Found nothing. Dropped it. But now it’s reopened because these new charges against me include money laundering. Again. They’re trying to make two and three make four.”

“I know you didn’t—you don’t—do criminal things, much less money laundering.” She set her hand on his arm. “Please tell me you believe that.”

He couldn’t stop the small laugh that puffed out. “Of course I do. But that’s exactly why I need to clear my reputation with the DEA.”

“Speaking of…” A throat being cleared interrupted him, and they looked up.

Skye was walking by, clipboard in hand. “Everyone filled me in on what’s happening. I guess they didn’t want a conflict of interest, but the truth is, I don’t like it when good people are treated like criminals when they’ve done nothing wrong. My husband is an FBI agent. Can I fill him in? He might be able to help.”

Skye didn’t seem to have a doubt that Rio would clear this up. No one except Vince’s partner had ever looked at him like he was an honest man after the whole money-laundering thing—the reason he’d left the DEA.

More false accusations. But they’d had no evidence, so he’d never been arrested. What had changed now?

He turned to stare at the mountains and a plume of smoke snaking into the sky and creating a haze on the horizon that smelled like a bonfire. Rather than being a smokejumper like his dad had always wanted, clearing his name, it turned out, was still his job. Whether he liked it or not.

He smiled at Skye. “Appreciate it. I’ll let you know.”

She stood silently appraising him. “You sure?”

“Thanks, Skye.”

“Promise me you’ll let me know if you do need Rio?”

“I will.”

She turned, looking over her shoulder as she walked away. “Jade moved up the leave time. Five minutes and we’re outta here.”

He grabbed his suitcase handle, stood. “You ready to go?”

No answer. He turned back around. Cadee’s eyes were squeezed shut, her arms crossed tight over her stomach.

He sat back down. “Cadee, I will be back.”

She took a long, deep breath, then looked up into his eyes with a sad smile. “Okay. But will you be back to your faith as well, or just firefighting?”

“Wow. That’s harsh.”

She only nodded. “You made it clear last night where we stand, but I still care about you.”

“Okay, look, Dad taught me to parachute years ago as a surprise birthday present. Fun day. He seemed different. Of course he wanted me to fight fires, but I wanted to be in the DEA. That was the first time he really listened to me about it. And I listened to him when he told me how Christ accepted him, flaws and all, and so he’d accepted Christ. And he told me that Christ had that same love for me.” He laughed at the way that sounded. “It felt like ‘Jesus Loves Me’ simplicity.”

Cadee lightly elbowed him. “Which Jesus is.”

Jade shouted into the cabin, “Hammer, where are you? Come help JoJo load the Pulaskis and McLeods onto the bus. Skye too. Don’t know what we’re walking into.”

“Coming!” Hammer ran past them out the front door.

Vince turned to Cadee. “The ‘Jesus Loves Me’ forgiveness and the love of God that Dad opened up to me are simple. I get it. But living it is not simple. I just can’t…”

Her voice cracked. “Grief.”

“Yeah.” He shifted. “Cadee, I don’t know if I will return to my faith.”

She flicked a finger across her cheek. Swiping away an imaginary tear? She didn’t need to cry for him.

“I haven’t turned my back on what my father taught me.” His throat constricted. He wouldn’t lie to anyone, especially Cadee.

“When he died,” she said, “I had an even greater impetus to rush in, save people, do everything. Yeah, my faith isn’t gone, and I’m trying to trust Him. But it’s still hard not to struggle with bitterness. Cap is gone. You broke up with me. So I am just, I don’t know, focused on the job, trying even harder to do everything .”

His head lowered. “I am sorry.”

She put her hand over his. “Forgiven. Christ’s grace is bigger than fear, and I don’t want to wallow in bitterness.”

He’d always loved that calloused firefighting hand resting on his. Vince rolled his shoulders, then looked in her eyes, deep, his breath speeding up. He couldn’t not say it. “I want to see where that kiss we could’ve had will lead, but too much is up in the air.”

She turned pink, tipped up her chin. “I do too. No matter what happens.”

His stomach clenched, just like before their first kiss, when they’d started dating at Ember during training.

Cadee stepped back, her hand on his heart for a moment.

Cold shivered down his spine…like she was gone.

Her voice was shaky. “Why don’t we pray together about what’s going on? Whenever I need to let God take away the edge of my bitterness, I pray. It doesn’t have to be now. Whenever you’re ready.”

He could do nothing but nod. “Later.”

Suddenly, Jade shouted in the open front door. “Wheels up in two minutes. Head out. Now.”

Cadee dipped her head in a nod and ran for the front door.

He reached for his suitcase and his fire pack, walked out behind her toward his truck.

He was an idiot.

He jogged back up the steps of the porch, dumped his suitcase inside the door and chased after her toward the bus.

When he caught up to her, she looked over in surprise.

“I’ll follow up with my DEA partner later.” He’d sound crazy trying to explain it, but Vince just couldn’t walk away from her right now. “I followed Dad here. I’m staying. For now.”

Was Tucker right that the Feds would figure out the truth and he’d be in the clear?

It seemed crazy, but could he really let God fight for him?