Page 59 of Burdened Bonds

“I remember reading it,” Winnie says, “when I was helping Rhi with her,” she waggles a finger at Azlan, “problem.”

“Can you remember how to use it?” I ask her.

She considers this, then shakes her head with disappointment. Azlan huffs in irritation and I don’t blame him. Every time we seem to gain a step forward, it ends up being a false lead. We have Tambric spice. We think it could help us. We can’t remember how the fuck to use it.

“We could experiment with it?” Winnie suggests.

“I’m guessing you’ve never had an encounter with the stuff?” She shakes her head. “Trust me,” I say bitterly, “it isn’t something you want to be experimenting with.”

“Crap.” Winnie chews on her lip. “I can see the stupid page in my head. I can remember where the damn recipe sat, right over there in the top right-hand corner. I just can’t …” Her eyes flick up to me. “But you could.”

“I could, what?”

“You could read it.”

“What?” I say, sounding just as annoyed as Azlan.

“You could read the memory in my head, couldn’t you? You could see it and read the instructions.”

“Reading memories isn’t as,” I exhale, “pleasant as reading real-time thoughts, Miss Wence. For you, I mean. For me …” I shrug.

“How unpleasant?”

“Like having your tooth pulled. Without magic to numb the pain.”

Winnie sits up straight in her chair. “I’m no wimp, Professor. I have the worst period pains you can imagine–”

“Okay,” I say, waving my hand, definitely not needing to hear about that.

“I’m not afraid. And frankly, I’d walk over burning coals and drink poison for Rhi. She saved my life.”

“And mine,” Azlan says quietly.

Winnie nods. “So, a little discomfort while you scrabble about in my mind is worth it if we can find her and bring her home.”

“All right.” I place the jar back on the table and roll up my sleeves. “Azlan, I’m going to need you to make a note of what I find. I may only catch a fleeting glimpse and it may not be long enough for me to memorize it.”

Azlan swings his gaze, before opening drawers under the countertops. He retrieves a pen, and licking the nib, tests it on a scrap piece of paper he scoops up from the floor.

“Ready?” I ask Winnie. She nods. “Azlan?”

“Ready.”

“How long ago was this memory?”

“Back when Rhi was in the hospital.”

I rest my fingertips on Winnie’s forehead and close my eyes, letting my mind wander into hers. First, I’m presented with a picture of myself, leaning over her and then her whispered thoughts. She’s more nervous about how painful this might be than she was letting on, but there’s a determination there too, and I can read how much she cares about Rhi, something that lifts the girl even further in my estimation. Rhi’s been damn lucky to have a friend like Winnie – a friend who believed in her from the start – unlike us shitheads.

I push that thought away and focus in on the job at hand, brushing past the present and deeper into Winnie’s mind, sinking into her memories.

The first few relate to our altercation at Lowsky’s compound and the night of the attack. I skip those,plunging deeper, trying not to look at several that involve her and her boyfriend getting naked.

Beneath me, I can hear Winnie wince, sucking in breath, her brow crinkling beneath my fingers. I need to hurry the fuck up.

There are plenty of memories of Rhi in Winnie’s head and it breaks my fucking heart to see Rhi opening her heart to her friend, confused, hurt, saddened by our actions. I scroll through them until I find Rhi lying out on a hospital bed, her face pale as snow, her leg all bandaged. I never saw her then, never saw how bad she looked. It has me sucking in breath through my teeth.

“Phoenix?” I hear my friend ask from far, far away. But I’m here now, scanning through all the pages of printed-out information Winnie had read for her friend. Pages and pages and pages – and then there it is. The article on uses of Tambric spice, an entire section dedicated to fated mates. I read it out quickly to Azlan. I can already feel Winnie’s mind fighting to eject me, can sense her body weakening beneath me. I need to get out before I cause her any damage. I read it aloud with such speed I’m not sure if Azlan will even understand and once I’m done with the final sentence, I pull myself out. Stumbling away from Winnie, my hands falling to my sides.