Page 7

I ’m not exactly sure why my run-in with Noah at In-N-Out put the fear of God into me but it did. Actually, that’s not true. I know exactly why it has.

Noah is funny. And charming. Flirtatious, and … nice. Plus hot, but that’s neither here nor there. He also gave me a nickname. It took days to accept the flowers, cake and have people at my house. A one-am nickname assignment pushed me back over the edge. Ever since, I’ve avoided him, and his persistent sister, because this whole deal can only end in one of two ways. I’m going to get attached, embarrass them in public and they’ll ditch me. Or, I’ll get attached, they’ll discover the real me, decide I’m not worth it, and then ditch me.

Either way I am going to end up face down in a ditch.

I may as well pre-ditch.

Remaining hidden at school is no issue for me. I’ve done it for years. Fading into the background now comes as naturally to me as breathing, but the two half and one whole day I do at work is another thing. There just aren’t as many places to hide.

That’s why I called in sick for the last few days and was planning on doing the same this morning.

But then.

“Claire? What are you doing there so early?”

“Hi, to you too, Lotte,” she says, chewing on something before continuing. “I’m eating rock hard mints I found in your drawer and waiting. Mr. Bowe is expecting a delivery of printer toner. Apparently that stuff is more valuable than gold, so he asked me to come in and supervise the delivery. It’s still not here though, which is very annoying. I could be in bed with my wife. But anyway, now I have a question for you. Why are you calling when you know the office is going to be empty?”

“Um. I.”

“Were you calling in sick again? You don’t sound sick, Lotte. And Noah said he saw you and said you didn’t seem sick.”

“Oh he did? Oh. Well. I…”

There’s a loud crack. Claire’s breaking that mint like she is me. “Are you trying to play hooky, Lotte?”

“No. No, of course not. I looked at the clock wrong. I thought it was already eight and was just calling to check if anyone wanted coffee before I came in.”

“You looked at the clock wrong?”

“Yup.”

“And you called to see if anyone wanted coffee?”

“Yup.”

“And you’re lying through your ass, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

I bury my face into the pillow in an attempt to block out Claire’s laughter. “You’re a terrible liar. You do know that don’t you?”

“Yes. I’m aware.”

“Good, so do you want to tell me why you were skipping in person now, or when you arrive in forty-five minutes fully glammed up and carrying my double strength caramel latte?”

Forty-five minutes? I looked down and the state that was my body. Cookie crumbs and pizza crusts lay around my torso like the chalk outline on a corpse. I’ve only left bed to collect said foodstuffs, and go to the bathroom, so I probably stink like one too.

“I think when I come with your caramel latte. It gives me more time to hose myself down and think of another lie.”

“Excellent. Now, don’t forget double strength, and since you already told me you were going to lie again, don’t bother. Maybe bring donuts too.”

An hour later with donuts and coffee in hand, I arrive at work and see Claire’s smiling face and freshly pinked up hair, beaming at me through the automated glass door.

“You’re late,” she says the second it slides open. “. Bowe is too. We have time to eat and dissect your deceit. Sit.” A chair, one she must have prepared earlier, is tapped and I obediently comply. “What’s going on, kid, and don’t give me any crap. I can read your sweet face like one of my filthy books.”

The shrinking into myself begins. “Do I really have to say? Isn’t me being here enough?”

“No. It’s not. We’re besties, remember? Besties don’t lie to each other.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve never had a best friend before, and I can’t verify that at all.”

Claire digs into the pink box of goodness and pulls out an original glaze. “That little comment is being added to the list of things we need to talk about. But tell me about the sick days first.”

I swig from my coffee, take a disproportionate amount of time to swallow, then whisper, “Noah—”

“Dammit.” Claire slaps the bench with her free hand, as she bites into her donut.” I knew that little shit had something to do with this. Did he hit on you?”

“No! But you spit on me.”

“Are you sure? He is a bit of a slut.”

Well that explains the two girls. “No. I promise. He just came over and talked to me and then went back to his friends, or dates or whatever they were. He was very kind, I swear.”

“Okay then. So why the disappearing act?”

Hoping I might choke on it, I bite into a bear claw. I don’t choke, and because I can’t lie for shit. I tell the truth. Claire takes it all in, then paraphrases it back to me. “Let me get this straight. You were scared to see us because Noah and I have been nice to you?”

“It’s ridiculous and pathetic I know, but pretty much, yeah.”

She then drops the remaining half of her donut and launches herself onto me. “Geez, Lotte. You’re breaking my heart.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t be sorry. I’m sorry. I have a tendency to come on a little too strong. I know that. But I just saw this beautiful, fragile little thing and wanted to help. I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”

“And you have. I just don’t know how to accept it. I’ve been by myself for a while now and it’s hard to let someone in again.” Claire squeezes me tighter. So tight it’s hard to breathe but at least this way I don’t have to look at anything other than a super close up of her pink sweater clad shoulder. “I’m not trying to play the victim or anything, I just haven’t had the best luck with friends. But if you’re willing to be patient—”

“Of course I am. And Noah will be too. And Kelly who is busting to meet you. And I swear, I will cool it with the overprotective mamma bear act, and just be cool, casual, ready to hang whenever you are.”

I don’t believe Claire has the capacity to be cool and casual with anything but no more discussion is to be had, because the printer man finally arrives. Claire releases me from her grip, signs him in on the visitor registrar, then disappears into the dark and scary depth of the copy room.

Since I’ve decided to show up to class today, I only spend two hours in the office. Thankfully they pass with minimal fuss and no embarrassment, which is always a good thing. Claire has kept her promise with not one interrogation being held, but I have caught her watching me several times with an almost pained expression. She’s just busting to break out the list of questions she mentioned earlier. I know it.

This also means I’ve had plenty of time to do a decent amount of internet research … Oh and some actual accounting. It seems, Noah’s classes are all across campus from mine, so even if I don’t stick to the shadows and instead dare to walk in the light, I run very little risk of seeing him.

With that knowledge bringing me a little peace, I head off to campus. My schedule is light, and it is so for a reason. BC has been brilliant in allowing modifications to my normal four-year course. They’ve allowed me to spread it out over five, meaning I can balance classes, work and the extra rest when I’m struggling. They also stream a lot of classes, so if things are bad, I can still do class from home.

Since it’s been almost forty-five minutes since I’ve had coffee, when I step from the train, I make a beeline for Beanz and Bookz the best coffee shop on campus. They play the music I like, stock the baked goods I survive on, and it’s filled with nerdy book types like me. It’s in the STEM zone of campus that contains a higher dork to jock ratio than the humanities and sports areas, and its walls are lined with dark timber shelves filled with books spanning from Jane Austen to Stephen King, Kandi Steiner to Messi. Of course, there are your regular tables and chairs, but also sofas, armchairs and beanbags. You can spend five minutes or five hours here and I could have done both. The chance of a hockey god like Noah and his little puck bunnies or whatever horrible term these women are tagged with, is slim to none.

Even with no fear of running into Noah playing on my mind, I still don’t want to talk to any real-life people, nerd or not. So my head is down, and my ear pods are in as I head inside and walk straight into a large, expansive chest and everything else large and firm feeling below it. “Hey, Little D. Fancy seeing you here.”