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Spencer had loved having sex with Ian when they were using condoms because sex with Ian was great, but there was something indescribably hot about Ian coming in his mouth, and he was glad that was something they’d talked about, even though it had been brought on by his panic attack on the sidewalk.

He flopped down onto his back and took a deep breath, trying to slow his heart rate. Ian pressed one last kiss to his shoulder and rolled out of bed, headed for the bathroom. Spencer listened to the water running, soaking in the tingle in his limbs and the dull ache on his neck that might turn into a hickey.

Ian turned off the lights and slid back into bed, splaying his arms out so Spencer could roll into them.

“So I’ve been thinking about the monogamy thing,”

Spencer said sleepily into Ian’s shoulder. They didn’t need to be having this conversation right now, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since Ian had brought it up, and they were both naked and warm, and Spencer was so, so comfortable.

“What were you thinking?”

Ian drew him in and started running gentle fingertips up and down his spine.

Spencer shivered. “I think I’d like to try . . . being nonmonogamous.”

“Okay,”

Ian said into his hair. “What does that mean for you?”

Spencer buried his face farther into Ian’s skin. “I want to spend time with you. And have you here. And hang out with our friends. And have sex. But also have sex with other people?”

Ian shifted both of their bodies so that they were lying on their sides facing each other and he could look Spencer in the eye. “Because you actually want that or because you think I want that?”

“Because I want that.”

Spencer swallowed hard. “Though I’m not sure I should want that.”

Ian gently stroked Spencer’s cheek with his knuckles. “There’s nothing wrong with whatever you want. I wouldn’t have offered if I weren’t serious about it.”

“No, I know.”

He never wanted Ian to think he was doubting him. Ian was never the one Spencer was doubting. “It’s just so different from what I’m used to.”

“Our relationship can be whatever we want it to be. We get to set the boundaries.”

He could tell Ian was stifling a yawn, and when he slid his fingers through Spencer’s hair, Spencer started getting sleepy, too.

“I’m not entirely sure how to even start going about setting boundaries around something like that.”

“Well, I think it would be a good idea to always tell each other the truth. Who we’re out with and when. We shouldn’t let sleeping with other people feel like a secret.”

“I agree.”

That was an easy one.

“And when we’re with other people, we’ll always use protection, like we have been between us. That way this is safe for everyone involved.”

Spencer nodded. “I always use condoms for hookups.”

“Do you want anyone to be off-limits?”

Spencer hadn’t previously thought about it, but in the moment he said, “Exes, I guess?”

Not that he had any exes in Pittsfield to speak of.

Ian laughed, his warm breath tickling Spencer’s face. “God, I can’t imagine ever sleeping with one of my exes again. That’s an easy yes for me.”

Spencer’s head swam a little. He was the one who had brought it up, but the idea was exciting and a little overwhelming. “And . . . if I don’t like it . . . ?”

Ian’s hand pressed against his back reassuringly. “Then we talk about it, and we adjust. I want to be with you, however you want to be with me. I want you to be happy.”

Spencer closed his eyes, overwhelmed by how deeply he felt Ian’s sincerity. Without thinking, he whispered, “Baby . . .”

The Earth stopped spinning on its axis. Maybe if Spencer lay incredibly still, Ian wouldn’t notice how tender that had sounded. They were literally lying naked in Spencer’s bed, Spencer having just swallowed Ian’s come, and something about pet names felt even more intimate than that. He stared at his fingers, splayed against Ian’s bare chest, unwilling to meet his eyes.

Ian’s finger came under his chin and tilted his head up. His gaze lingered on Spencer’s lips before meeting his eyes. “Yes, sweetheart?”

And what could Spencer do but kiss him? He wrapped his hands around Ian’s neck and slid their tongues together. Ian explored his mouth in a way that was frankly much more intimate than Spencer calling him baby or anything else.

When Spencer finally had to pull away to breathe, he said, “Whatever happens with this, I want to be with you.”

Ian pressed their foreheads together and nuzzled him, then finally let out the massive yawn he’d been fighting.

“Go to sleep,”

Spencer whispered.

“You were talking to me about something important.”

“I know, but now I’m done, so go to sleep.”

Ian grunted and pulled Spencer into his chest, throwing his leg over Spencer’s hip and pressing a kiss to his forehead.