Page 13 of Buck This (Battle of the Bulls #6)

“What is this place?” Torrey whispered in reverence as she spun a slow circle.

“Looks like it was some kind of cowboy church or somethin’,” Buck murmured.

They hadn’t spoken much since they’d left the wishing fountain, but that was her fault. She was confused and had felt something she had sworn never to feel again when he’d been doing that wife-talk.

He’d scared her. Not because she thought he would harm her physically, but she’d had this moment when he’d mentioned that word where being a wife didn’t sound so terrible anymore.

She had been good at it once, but that was not the plan now.

Her life had taken a different turn. She would never, ever, ever get married again.

Him asking personal questions about her life felt like too much.

Why? Because she was starting to really like him.

That was the terrifying part.

Men didn’t do well protecting soft women’s hearts, and as much as she wished she could be tougher, when it came down to it, she had a tender soul that would wither if she was hurt like that again.

She couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t fall for a closed-off, ramblin,’ bull-shifter who could have any woman he wanted while he was on the road, and who was made entirely of all red flags.

And so…as she worked through her emotions after that wishing fountain conversation, she’d kept quiet. She’d needed the silence.

This building was a huge pole barn with arena dirt, but there were burgundy velvet pews lined in three rows against the back wall.

In the rafters, doves were cooing. There was a loft of old hay stacked two bales deep, and there were a few holes in the dilapidated roof that let rays of sunlight through.

Torrey made her way to one of them and touched the dust motes that were illuminated in the ray of light with the tip of her finger.

“This place is full of good mojo. Can you feel it?”

“I do. It’s probably what Quickdraw was going for,” Buck said, but he sounded farther away, and when she turned around, he was taking a seat on one of the pews.

He removed his cowboy hat, ran his hand through his hair, and replaced it, dragged his bright green gaze up to her and told her, “You don’t have to stay for this. I can Change on my own.”

“Okay, so do it.”

He glanced up at the loft and back to her. “Maybe you should figure out an escape route before you encourage dumb shit like that.”

“I’m faster than you’re giving me credit for.”

He dropped his head, and she could see his shoulders shake with his laugh. “How about you take off running for that door as fast as you can, and I’ll time you.”

“Oh come on now, I don’t think—” she took off as fast as she could, pushing her legs. Her shoes were sinking into the arena dirt and slowing her down, and whoa, this was harder than she’d thought it would be.

She reached the door, huffing breath, and turned around triumphantly.

“My bull would’ve trampled you fifteen seconds before you reached that door.”

Torrey scrunched up her face. “Admittedly I was on the high school track team and also admittedly, I got last place in most of my races.”

Buck bit back a smile. “Why would you be on a team you suck at?”

“Well, not all of us are gifted with elite athleticism and animals that can do incredible things, jerk. I’m just a human.”

“If you were a shifter, you would be a snail.”

“That’s rude!” She tried to swallow down her laugh. Truly, she did. He didn’t need the encouragement, but she got this vision of her head on a snail sliming her way toward the door and she couldn’t help herself. “Would you still play house with me if I were a snail?”

“No.” His answer was immediate.

“Well, then I don’t know if we were meant to be.”

He kicked out of his boots and pulled his socks off.

“We’ve established that.” Seriousness had taken his tone, and it was clear he still had some leftover feelings about what had happened between them by the fountain.

“You’re really not going to tell me what you wished for, are you? ” he asked suddenly.

“What did you wish for?” she countered.

His lips tightened into a thin line, and he busied himself with peeling his t-shirt over his head. “My wish doesn’t count. The penny hit the edge of the fountain.”

He moved to unfasten his jeans but hesitated. It was that small hesitation that exposed the scar down his rib cage. It was dark red and angry looking but was clearly long healed.

“What happened there?” she asked, closing the distance between them.

He followed her gaze to his body and shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Oh, it just showed up one day? That looks like it nearly killed you.”

“It did.”

“What happened?”

“Look, you said no talking about anything real. I’m minding your stupid rules.”

Oooh. He hadn’t liked her saying that. Okay. She should respect him and not ask anything else. He could keep his secrets and scars.

“Fine,” she murmured, and gave him her back.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you privacy.”

His sigh was loud, and she could hear the rustle of fabric behind her as he shucked his pants. “I ain’t modest.”

A hollow sensation consumed her middle, and she felt reckless to get rid of it. She didn’t like that he was angry that she didn’t want to share anything real. Or hurt perhaps, which was even worse. “My ex has my stepson.”

The rustling sound behind her stopped.

She swallowed hard and crossed her arms over her chest like it would help to keep her from shattering into a bunch of little pieces. She hated talking about this stuff.

“Aiden was five when I met Caleb.”

“Caleb is your ex?”

“Yes. It was messy at first, because he’d just recently been divorced from his ex-wife the year before, and she didn’t want anyone around their son, so it took a year before I was allowed to meet him. And then over the next few years, he became very important to me.”

“The boy?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Why did y’all split?”

“That part wasn’t my choice. I would’ve kept putting up with the embarrassment forever. Or at least until Aiden was out of the house. Caleb kicked me out.”

“Why?”

“He wanted to see if he could make things work with his ex-wife. He said he was doing it for Aiden. That Aiden wanted his parents back together and he had to do what was best for him.”

“So, he was cheating with his ex?”

She inhaled deeply and shrugged. “The story changed a lot back when everything was going down, and eventually I stopped asking the questions. No point trying to drag the truth from a liar. I had to accept it. I was booted from the family I bled my soul into building, and now I am moving forward the best that I can.”

“That guy won’t let you see the boy anymore?”

She shook her head. “His ex-wife made that decision the second the ink was dry on our divorce papers. She went on this rant online about how I was the one who had broken them up in the first place, and what a whore I was, and that was the reputation she built for me. It didn’t matter that she was the one who stepped on my relationship with Caleb.

Some women need to be the victims and will twist the truth until they are.

I never stuck up for myself when everyone was turning on me and calling me those awful names.

I was the whore of the friend-group all of a sudden, and I stopped being invited out.

The truth is…ha,” she laughed softly as her eyes rimmed with moisture.

The truth didn’t matter anymore. What had been done was done.

“Finish it,” he rumbled.

She inhaled deeply and wondered how this would feel.

Would it bring up old hurt feelings? Or would it feel good to tell one person.

“The truth is, they were done for a year and a half before I even met him, and then when we got together, she didn’t like it, and she put all her energy into getting him back.

She used her child to do it. If Caleb didn’t do exactly as she wanted, she would withhold his time with his son.

I didn’t realize that was happening back then.

It was all so secretive, and I just knew I wasn’t allowed to meet Aiden for so long, and I was really confused.

She was building this star-crossed lovers story where I was the one breaking them up, but she and Caleb were the ones shitting on me.

To the world, it looked like they had a right to get back together even if we were in a relationship.

She was there first, right? She had his child.

It didn’t matter that they broke up and got back together eighty times over a decade, I was always going to be labeled the other woman whether they were split up or not.

She knew exactly what she was doing, and Caleb allowed it and never protected me from their toxic behavior.

Meanwhile I was hurt and confused and trying to be the best stepmom I could be.

And then all of a sudden, I wasn’t a stepmom or a wife at all.

I was just left with this awful reputation, and a bone-deep disappointment in people.

I was chum in the water, and the gossip was this feeding frenzy, and no one cared that I was crying on the shower floor as the life I had built was falling apart.

They just wanted to talk about this scandal that was orchestrated by his ex, and by him as well. ”

“That’s what you meant about the embarrassment?” he murmured.