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I know that I shouldn’t, but I find Xeran in his room again the next night.

And the next, and the next.

He labors over my body, touching each part of me like he’s marveling at the fact that I exist. During the day, Xeran steals a moment to touch me, to twirl his fingers in my hair or lay a stray finger on my waist.

On Wednesday, he comes back from training with the guys and sets a large glass vase of roses in the center of the kitchen island. There’s no card, and no words exchanged, but I can’t shake the feeling that they’re for me.

Nora and I continue working on the house, and on Friday, Xeran comes home before lunch, laughing when he finds us in the basement, trying to identify a spider we’ve captured.

“Science class is over,” he says, sweeping his arm upstairs. “I have a surprise for you.”

Nora and I exchange a glance but follow him upstairs, along with his instructions to pack a bag each. The trauma of my past manages to convince me that he’s kicking us out—which is ironic, considering how only a few weeks ago, I thought that he was keeping us against our will.

But he doesn’t kick us out. He has us climb into his truck with him, Nora sitting between us as we take the road out of town, then down out of the mountains and across the state.

I hum along with the music and watch as Xeran betrays himself, singing along to some of the Disney songs Nora picks for the drive.

Happiness blooms in my chest when we turn a corner and the Red Rocks open up in front of us. Xeran pulls off onto the side of the road and cuts the truck’s engine, glancing over at us.

“I’m meeting someone here on Sunday, so I thought we could take a trip out of Silverville together,” he says, helping Nora jump out of the truck. He shrugs as I slide out, eyes widening at the views behind him. “Make a little weekend out of it.”

The three of us hike together to the top of the amphitheater, breathing hard and laughing each time we stop and look out.

“This is so cool ,” Nora says, running her fingers against the smooth red rock around us. “I can’t believe this was just here.”

“Well, they did have to a bit of shaping,” Xeran laughs, and for the next twenty minutes, the two of them talk about natural rock formations, which leads into a discussion of natural advantages.

“Something like this is good for amplifying the music,” Xeran says, sweeping his hand around, pointing at the ridges around us. “But it could be good for a lot of other things, too.”

“It could have been a secret area!” Nora exclaims, turning to him with her eyes wide. “For people to hide out.”

“Yeah, something like that,” he agrees. They work a ways ahead, climbing and chatting, and I watch them. The way they walk the same, move their hands the same.

When Xeran asked me who her father was, there was a part of me that wanted to come clean to him right then. Tell him the truth about her, about him.

But I couldn’t. For some reason, the words clogged up in my throat, until it was impossible to get them out.

Because it’s one thing for me to risk myself—to get tangled up in him, to believe him when he tells me he’s sorry. To try to look ahead to some sort of future with him.

It’s another thing to implicate Nora this early on. If, for any reason, we have to leave, I don’t want her to deal with the heartbreak of losing him.

If, for any reason, Xeran decides he doesn’t want to be a dad, or still doesn’t want his name to be tied to the Winwards, I don’t want him to hurt her, too.

It’s my job to protect her, and that means feeling him out.

Seeing if he still plans to head back to Illinois.

Trying to decide, if he were to ask us, whether we would want to come with him.

To leave behind the West. Colorado, the place I’ve spent my entire life in.

To leave behind a relatively small-town atmosphere for the third-largest city in the nation.

After seeing the amphitheater, we hop back in the truck and fan ourselves as we wait for the AC to kick in. The drive into the city is picturesque, and Nora chats the entire time, asking Xeran about each of his brothers.

I expect him to shut her down, to say that he doesn’t want to talk about it. But to my surprise, he engages, telling her about each one.

“Tanner is a pothead,” Xeran says, and when Nora’s brow wrinkles, Xeran clarifies, “He smokes weed—does drugs. I’m pretty sure his brain is fried.”

“Say no to drugs,” Nora agrees with a glance at me, which makes me laugh. Apparently, one of the campaigns at school really stuck in her head.

“That’s right,” Xeran agrees, smiling as he glances over at me from the driver’s seat, flipping on the turn signal and taking an exit into the city. “And Farris likes to act tough, but he’s something of a mama’s boy.”

“So where’s his mom?”

I wince when she says it, and Xeran pauses for a moment, clearing his throat. “Well, she died when Farris was… probably fourteen. I think it messed with him, being that young.”

“How old were you when she died?”

“Nora, that’s not—” I start, but Xeran holds his hand up.

“It’s fine,” he says to the highway, then to my daughter, “I was sixteen when she died.”

I remember that day. Apparently, Xeran’s mother had been sick for a long time. When a pack loses its luna, there are long days of mourning. Xeran had shown up to school in a daze for weeks.

Then, once that was over, he got much, much meaner than he was before. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, I suppose.

“I was five when my grandma died,” Nora says, reaching forward to run her hand over the buttons on the dash. “But I didn’t really know her.”

I remember that day, too. The day I found out about her death, and about the fact that she left her home to me. My brother was pissed, but the lawyers made it clear that she was of sound mind when she made the decision.

My wards—and the general neighborhood watch feeling—of the area managed to keep him away. It’s one thing that my nosy neighbors did well, making sure my home wasn’t an easy target for my brother.

Xeran turns into the parking lot of a very nice hotel, bumping over the cobblestones without a care. My eyes widen as I turn and take it in—the large marble columns, the man standing outside in an honest-to-God suit and tie.

“Good afternoon,” he says when Xeran hops out of the truck and gestures for us to bring our bags.

“Hey, checking in,” Xeran says. “We won’t need the valet—we’re heading out again here in five minutes.”

The man in the suit nods, and we follow Xeran inside, then upstairs to a pair of suites on the top floor. I knew that the Sorels were wealthy, but I never imagined they were this wealthy.

Nora squeals and runs between the two rooms, lying on each bed to assess the softness. It’s one of the rare moments I see her actually acting her age, which is happening more and more now that she’s around Xeran.

“Xeran,” I whisper when Nora races into the adjoining room. “This is…”

He turns to me, shrugging, but there’s a satisfied smile on his face. “I’ve been working for years in Chicago, only paying for myself. Plus, I have the inheritance from my dad. Been a long time since I did something just for the heck of it.”

I hum, and he glances into the other room. Seeing the bathroom door closed, and Nora apparently closed up inside, he wraps an arm around my lower back and hauls me into him, kissing me thoroughly.

Like always, I melt into him, hands going to his chest. A sigh escapes my body, tension fizzling out.

For the first time in my life, I wish that Nora wasn’t here.

I wish my grandmother was alive, and we could have left my daughter with her so Xeran and I would have this entire hotel room to ourselves.

So we could be loud and reckless and touch each other without worrying about how quiet we were, or whether or not we could be heard from down the hallway.

When the door to the bathroom clicks, Xeran releases me, but those dark blue eyes stay fixed on me, hungry, seeking, clearly wanting more. Clearly thinking the same as me.

“Come on,” he says, voice thick as he jerks his head toward the door. “We’ve got a lot more to do tonight.”