Page 40 of Bronx

I suppose I haven’t for a lot of reasons.

First, I shouldn’t have ever disobeyed my father’s orders and ditch the security team at school. Next, Seven and I shouldn’t have split up that late at night. We knew better. And lastly, my claim to fame my entire life has been that I’m a fighter. Guys in school would shake in fear when they were around me. So why didn’t I fight?

I should have fought my way out of that cabin. I shouldn’t have run. It should have been me who killed them both, or at the very least, I should have gone out swinging.

“So you’re helping her with what end goal in mind?”

“I’m going to find him and kill him.”

I’ve said my deadly intentions out loud for the first time. It feels good to finally say it.

“Whoa, I know I said he’s a dead man but you’ve never actually killed someone, Bronx. It’s not an easy thing to do.”

“Oh, and you have?” I retort sarcastically.

“I’m just saying that this might be something you want to pull the family in on. Uncle Stone, Uncle Cutter and Cam… they’ve put people in the ground. They will know what to do and they won’t make any mistakes.”

“This is my fight, Seven.”

“I understand how you feel, but this is actually bigger than you. There may be ramifications for going rogue on this. The Consortium was after Dad. They wanted his head on a platter and they wanted him to suffer. We were just collateral damage.”

“Correction, I was collateral damage.”

Okay, that was a low blow. I know that Seven has always felt guilty that I was the only one abducted, but I can’t change the past. The reality is that it was me they took, me they mutilated, and it’s me that lives with the pain of it all–not him.

And even if I wasn’t as brave as I led my family to believe that day, Lev’s perplexing attempt to help me in the eleventh hour doesn’t matter. He was the one who drew first blood. I saw the knife in his hand. I live with the scar.

I can never forgive that.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But you know better than anyone that Mom and Dad just want me to move on with my life. If I mention this lead on Lev, they might even tell me to let it go.”

Seven takes a long breath, then speaks. “Maybe you need to.”

“The fuck you say?” My voice cracks.

I open the glove compartment and pull out a small, stainless steel flask of my favorite whiskey and take a swig. The amber liquid burns as it slides down my raw throat, but I know that in just a few moments, it will provide the relief that I constantly need to diminish the pain.

“You’ve been consumed with rage for six long years. You’re letting those bastards win, Bronx. They wanted to destroy us and you’re letting them.”

“Fuck you and your Dr. Phil bullshit therapy. Last month I settled a hundred-thousand-dollar bounty and before I came home, I was on a Miami Beach getting my dick sucked every night. I’m fine.”

“If you’re so okay, then why are you calling me?”

“Because I need–”

“Need what?”

13

Bronx

“Dammit, I missed my turn.”

I took an alternate route through a local Christmas tree farm to Ruby’s part of town, but I missed a crucial turn because I’m so distracted with this conversation with my brother.

To get back on course, I turn off on the next exit of the drive and go as fast as I can through a residential area. There’s only but so long I can expect Mary to be able to keep Karma’s ex there.

“Where are you?” Seven asks.