Page 29 of Broncos and Ballads (Healing Springs Ranch #2)
“Have you heard from her yet?”
Dad’s question jarred Brock awake. He sat up straight, nearly dropping his guitar.
Where was he, and what was going on in his life?
As he opened his eyes, the pain in his chest came rushing back with a force that made him breathless.
Pain because Venus had left him last night.
While he’d been busy, she’d driven away without saying goodbye or why she was leaving—although he hadn’t needed an explanation.
He already knew that she hadn’t liked that he’d told her he loved her, and she’d run away from him because of it.
Why had he done it?
He leaned forward in the recliner beside his dad’s hospital bed, set aside his guitar, and braced his head in his hands. His head ached almost as much as his heart.
“Check your phone,” Dad insisted, reclining in bed with a steaming cup of coffee already in hand, a newspaper in the other, and his reading glasses perched on his nose.
Brock glanced at his screen. Only another text from Ella Mae, this one confirming the flight details for Aruba. “Nothing.”
“Shoot.” Dad’s voice hinted at disappointment. “I thought for sure she’d miss you by now and reach out.”
Brock just groaned. He needed to come clean and admit that the whole relationship had been a sham from the start and that’s why Venus didn’t miss him. But he still couldn’t make himself say the truth.
All night, like his dad, he’d been waiting for her text and holding out hope that she’d realize what she’d left behind, that she’d admit she had feelings for him after all.
But she hadn’t said one word. All Ella Mae and Harper had learned after finally reaching Venus’s agent last night was that she’d decided to return to New York City early and get back to work, especially with how busy her schedule had become.
Kristin had indicated that because of such a full workload, all dates and time together would be suspended for the time being.
Brock had wanted to protest. He’d even halfway considered Harper’s suggestion to force Venus to honor their contract and finish out the vacation in Aruba and then continue the once-a-week dates.
But Brock didn’t want to spend time with Venus that way. He wanted her willingly or not at all. As it turned out, she was breaking all ties with him. That had become clear.
“Try calling her again.” Dad took a slurp of his coffee. He was still attired in his pajamas and was probably waiting for Kinsey to come in and take his vitals.
“Dad.” Brock expelled a tight breath through his constricted lungs. “I’ve tried calling her at least twenty times and have left as many messages and texts.”
“You can’t give up.”
“I’m not.”
“Then keep calling and keep texting.”
“I’ll try again later.”
“Try now.”
“Dad. Please.” Brock pushed up from the chair, bumping his guitar. He’d tried to focus on the newest song last night, had thought he’d at least write some chords. But his brain hadn’t been able to come up with more than a few notes, and even those had sounded discordant.
The simple truth was that he didn’t want to make music if she wasn’t in his life. He didn’t want to breathe or eat or do anything.
He crossed to the window that overlooked the eastern range.
With the morning sunlight slanting over the mountain peaks, he could only picture Venus as they’d watched the sunrise together and how the rays had finally fallen upon her, turning her into a golden goddess.
That whole night together and that morning had been perfect.
Why couldn’t she see that? Why couldn’t she see how perfect every day together had been, including yesterday? Even with the Rolling Stone people following them around, he’d loved every minute with her. He’d thought she’d enjoyed the day too.
Everything had been going great until he’d said the L-word. On some level, he’d known she wouldn’t reciprocate yet, had known his feelings had happened fast and furiously and that she would need more time.
What he hadn’t expected was her admission that she was still in love with Reed and, as a result, wasn’t interested in pursuing anything else.
Brock leaned his forehead against the windowpane, the cool glass soothing his overheated face but doing nothing to take away the throbbing in his head and chest and whole body.
He’d lost her.
No, he’d never really had her to begin with. Not when their whole relationship had been based on a lie. Why had he ever thought anything good could come out of lying?
“If you really love her, then you need to do more.” Dad’s voice was as strong and healthy and pushy as always.
Even if he was still battling fatigue and poor appetite from his chemotherapy and wasn’t the same robust man that he’d been a year or two ago, he was proving himself to be stalwart in his matchmaking.
“You can’t just sit back and wait for her to initiate.
No, we McQuaid men fight hard to keep the women we love. ”
Growing up, Brock had heard the story more times than he could count of how Dad had won Mom.
As Miss Colorado, Mom had been traveling around the state to promote her platform to preserve Colorado wildlife.
She’d protested Dad’s ranch and his drilling of oil there because some of the practices were interfering with the natural habitat for many of the creatures in the area.
Mom had considered Dad her enemy. But as Dad liked to say, he’d worked hard to win her over, even going as far as changing all his drilling methods in spite of the expense in doing so.
“Fight for her,” Dad said again. “That’s what you need to do now.”
Brock had already explained to his dad and mom and siblings what had happened during their last moments of the photo shoot, how he’d told Venus he loved her and she’d run off.
He hadn’t been able to hold back, had been too upset at the time.
But now, a part of him wished he’d kept the breakup with Venus to himself and made up an excuse to his family for why she’d left so suddenly—although he suspected they probably would have seen through any excuses he made.
“If I do more, Dad, I might end up pushing her away even further.”
“She’ll see your efforts to win her and eventually realize you love her enough and won’t let her get away.”
“She might just need some time.”
“Maybe. But she might also need to know how serious you are about your relationship.”
“I think she knows. I made it pretty clear.”
Dad blew out an exasperated breath. “Sounds to me like you’re giving up.”
“How can I give up something that was never mine to begin with?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Brock clamped his mouth closed and shook his head.
The conversation with his dad was going the way lots of conversations had gone.
He wasn’t doing what his dad wanted, couldn’t live up to the expectations.
It had been this way all along, his being unable to live up to the standards his dad set for him.
He’d disappointed Dad when he’d graduated from college and refused to come back to the ranch and work like Ty had done.
He’d disappointed Dad when he’d taken the record deal in Nashville.
He’d disappointed Dad when he’d gained his reputation as a womanizer.
He’d disappointed Dad when he’d bought his ranch in Tennessee instead of Colorado.
He’d disappointed Dad when he’d turned twenty-nine and still hadn’t settled down.
He actually couldn’t think of one thing Dad had approved of. All Brock had ever done was make Dad shake his head and roll his eyes and mutter under his breath. And if he refused Dad’s advice now about Venus, he’d only earn more disapproval.
He turned around and faced Dad. “Listen, Dad. I know over the years I haven’t done things the way you’ve wanted and have disappointed you.”
“That’s not true—”
“It is true. And the fact is, I’m gonna have to disappoint you again.”
“C’mon, Brock—”
“I’ve done what I can, and I’m letting Venus go.” He couldn’t keep pushing Venus. He’d done all he could to win her over. Now it was time to step away.
Dad fell silent.
Even in the silence, Brock could feel the heavy weight of dissatisfaction rolling off his dad.
“I’m sorry that my way isn’t what the McQuaid men would do. And I’m sorry I’m not living up to the legacy. But I guess I’m the one failure of the bunch.”
“We all have times where we fail, but that doesn’t make us a failure.”
No matter how his dad phrased things, Brock knew he’d failed. He made his way back to the bedside chair, picked up his guitar, then paused next to his dad. “I need to head out. You keep getting better, okay?”
“Don’t leave like this, Brock.” Dad put out a hand to stop him.
Brock sidestepped his dad and started toward the door. “I’ll be fine.”
But even as he told himself he’d be fine, something deep inside told him that this time he wouldn’t be fine. Not after losing Venus. After losing her, he’d never be fine again.