Page 2 of Broken Headboards

Except he’s naked with the exception of a diaper. And a giant man in a black hood is spanking him with a paddle. I have to squint but I think I see the word “SLUT” written on the paddle.

Taking Ashley’s hand, I get a little closer and that’s when I hear them.

“Oh yeah, Ornesto, give it to me,” Jeremiah pleads. “Give it to MEEEEEE!”

I stifle a chuckle as the giant hooded man I’m guessing is Ornesto brings the paddle down, smacking Jeremiah on the ass.

Ashley is trying her best to control her laughter. I can’t believe my eyes.

“This is insane,” she whispers and I nod in agreement.

“We should go,” she volunteers and I’m about to agree to that too, but then something holds me back.

“No,” I say to her, as we draw back into the lobby away from the happy couple. “We shouldn’t.”

“What?” Ashley asks with surprise. “Why?”

“Think about it, baby,” I say to her. “Jeremiah has been nothing but a giant pain in the ass ever since he became Condo Board President.

Ashley pauses for a second to consider. I know she knows I’m right. Ever since Jeremiah became President after the last Condo Board President, Seymour Cooper, he’s been insufferable. I won’t go into what happened to Seymour because it’s part of the series, but Jeremiah seems determined to one up him in assholery.

I don’t know. It’s something about the position maybe. Some people just get the power and go crazy. I mean I don’t even know what they’re in charge of.

“I’m serious, Ash,” I tell her. “This is the guy that is proposing that each resident in Clarendon Tower sign a morality clause that they won’t engage in deviant sexual behavior within the walls of the building, remember?”

Ashley nods. “I don’t really engage in much deviant sexual behavior, but I’d like to keep the option open for sure,” she says to me with a wink.

I laugh silently. “I mean, getting spanked in a diaper is pretty fucking deviant too, no?” I ask her and she nods.

“Why does he get the double fucking standard?” I ask her and she looks at me.

“What you got in mind?” she asks.

I smile. This is going to be fun.

I take her hand and pull her to the far end of the lobby away from where Jeremiah is. I know exactly what I’m going to do.

And as I pull the fire alarm, I do it.

The ringing goes through Clarendon Tower, alerting residents to fire.

A few things happen.

The doormen rush back in. Because I know where to look, I keep a close look out at Jeremiah and his hooded friend.

“Oh no, Ornesto!” I hear Jeremiah say. “What are we going to do?”

Ornesto doesn’t respond. The doormen have cut off their escape from where they are. They can’t take the elevators because the fire alarm disables them from going up. So trying to be discreet, they run to the stairs.

But Jeremiah stops mid-run as he sees me and Ashley. His face turns into a grimace and he freezes.

Wrong move, pal.

Because the doors to the stairwell burst open at that point and residents start coming down to see what the commotion is.

And guess what they come face to face with?

Yup.