Page 20 of Bride takes a Scot

He shrugged. “Aye, I supposed she might be a wee bit pious. At least there is that.”

“She misses ye.”

Declan stopped dead in his tracks. “Did she say that?”

“She did not have to. Ye need to spend some time with her, Declan. Ye needs to come clean and tell her about Leona and Noah. Why do ye not go off for a day or two? Get to know her. And whilst ye are at it, do what ye are avoiding. Remember, ’tis like riding a horse…ye never forget.” Anse snickered and shoved his shoulder with a jab of his fingers.

“I need to bathe in the loch, then I will see to her. Can you look after the clan whilst I am gone?” Declan continued onward back toward the gate.

“Don’t I always?” Anse said and laughed. “It would be my pleasure, Laird. I am envious of ye. Your wife is bonnier than ye let on and seems sweet-natured. God Almighty himself blessed ye with that woman. I bid ye to get on your knees and thank Him. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s courageous and has a tender heart. If ye do not want her, ye know that I would gladly take her off your hands. Hell, any man here in the Highlands would take her.”

Declan raised a brow. “Who says I do not want her? Of course, I do. Go on, get back to your duties. Wait, before ye go… Will ye bring her to the loch? I am going to spend the night at my grandda’s cabin.” He didn’t wait for Anse’s answer but left his cousin, whose laughter alerted all within hearing distance of his mirth. Declan marched with quick steps toward the loch beyond the wall. As he disrobed, he peered at the water and his chest tightened at remembrances that long plagued him. The day Leona drowned swarmed his mind with dreadful memories, and he could do nothing to shake the images away.

There was nothing to do about it except continue living in spite of her death. With that thought in mind, he dove into the cold loch. The deep water never seemed to warm no matter the time of year. Between the frigid temperature and the memories of Leona’s death, Declan only stayed in the water long enough to clean himself. He rushed through washing as if the frigidnesswas grasping hands trying to pull him into the depths as it had Leona.

Once done, he raced from the water and rummaged through his saddlebag for the clean garments he’d placed there for his sojourn to Campbell land. He redressed and waited for Isabella and hoped she didn’t take too long. Declan didn’t much like spending time near the loch and only did so to bathe.

Isabella finally came along, guided by Anse. When his cousin saw him, he bowed to Isabella and turned, leaving them alone.

“Wife.” He’d been away from her less than a day, and Lord, how he missed her. She appeared saddened or distraught about something. Then he remembered what Anse had told him. Declan had much to confess to her. He only hoped that he could explain without becoming emotional.

“Good eve,Husband. Anse said you wanted to see me?” Isabella stood with her hands by her side. She dressed in a fashionable gown of the type worn by the ladies by the border. Though it looked becoming on her, it was too grand a garment to be worn here in the north. It was elegant but far too impractical. It also did little to warm her and provided no protection from the brisk winds.

“This place…” he began, but his throat grew thick trying to come up with the words to begin explaining what had happened. The memories flooded him, all of them terrible and overwhelming. “This place holds disheartening memories for me.”

She stepped toward him. “It’s beautiful here. How can such a place hold such memories for you?” Isabella’s demeanor seemed cold except for the warmth in her eyes as she beheld the scenery around them and the beauty of his land. He suspected her attitude had more to do with his failures. She was angry, rightly so, and felt deceived, but she was willing to forgive him. “Tell me.”

“I shall tell ye, but later. Come, I wish to show ye something.” Declan delayed making his confession for the simple reason that he needed more time to reason how to begin. He needed to explain and intended to and hoped the words would come to him. He held out his hand and she took it. Touching her again brought such a sense of peace to him. He couldn’t account for it, but his mood lightened, and the horrid remembrances were held at bay for now. He held onto her fingers as if she’d given him the only salvation he needed.

“Where are we going?” She tightened her hold on his hand. Somehow, his beautiful, smart wife had read his mind.

“To the other side of the loch.”

They ambled through the trees that touched the edges of the loch and eventually made their way around to the other side. Birdsong surrounded them, and the breeze that whispered through the branches overhead sounded almost like music as the scent of the pine trees filled his nostrils. His sense of peace grew as the beauty of the area surrounded them.

The stone cottage sat amid the pine trees. A thick layer of the trees’ needles sat atop its sloped roof. The windows were covered with wooden shutters and the wooden door had been newly replaced and painted at Declan’s direction prior to his arrest. “This was my grandda’s cabin. He and my grandmother lived here for a time before he passed. She now lives within the walls, where it is safer for her.”

“I see…”

“As a lad, I spent a good bit of time here with my grandda. I come here when I want to be alone, sometimes to ponder decisions, or if something is troubling me. I can think here.”

She smiled at him. “It’s your sanctuary much like the chapel is mine.”

“Aye, I suppose it is. I want you to stay with me here because…” He didn’t know how to broach the subject of his deadwife and son. Declan opened the door to the cabin and waved her inside. “There are things we should discuss. Anse told me what happened earlier this day and that you saved my lad.” He set his saddlebag near the bed, tossed in a few logs and a hunk of peat into the hearth, and started a fire. The small cabin was chilly but would soon warm.

Isabella crossed the one-room cabin and turned. “Oh, he did. Yes, I met your son. Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

“His name is Noah. Come, sit, and I will explain,” he said and motioned to her. Declan sat at the small table, and she took the chair near his and faced him. He disliked the furrow of her brow. Hopefully, she would understand.

“You should have told me, Declan. What is there to explain? He is your son. That is all you should have told me. And perhaps why he does not live in your dwelling or with you.” Isabella folded her hands and set them on her lap. “A lad should have the guidance of his father. You abandoned him. That tells me much about you.” Her tone implied that she’d judged him most dreadfully.

“I did no such thing,” Declan said incredulously. He knew enough about women to grasp that she was a wee bit angry with him. Well deserved, he supposed. “I find it difficult to talk about. Years ago, I married a woman named Leona to unite our clans. She was a Campbell. We were happy for a time and had a son. When Leona died… Noah was about to turn four in years… Leona drowned at that spot by the loch, where ye found me. That is why that place holds disheartened memories for me. I lost part of my life that day. I mourned her for a long time—”

“As you should have.”

“That day when I found her… I could not believe she’d drowned. The worst part was that our son witnessed her death. Something happened to Noah that day, for he has not spoken since and he has not been able to hear either. It might be a goodthing that he cannot speak because I imagine he is troubled by what he saw.” Declan sighed about revealing his past when he had only ever wanted to forget the heart-rending situations.

Isabella stood and reached him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him tightly. “I am so sorry you bore such heartache. You cared for her, your wife?”