Page 65 of Bride Takes a Laird
His eyes shot open and he peered at his da. “I cannot sleep there. Not without Kendra. There are too many reminders of her there.”
“What reminders?” His da took the seat next to him.
Magnus sighed and thought he’d never get rest if everyone insisted on conversing with him. “Reminders? Ah, well there’s the bed we shared, her belongings, the manuscripts she went through for me. Da, when I last saw her, I was so angry with her because she…” He swallowed his culpability at being cross with Kendra.
His father peered at him inquisitively. “Because she what, son?”
“She entered the figures of our stores from the time Ned went missing. I had wanted to do it and she didn’t ask for permission to employ herself as the steward. I said some rather unbecoming things to her and was harsh. Being there…in my bedchamber reminds me of how coarsely I treated her and I cannot get the vision of her dejected face from my mind. It was my duty—”
“Duty,” his father said, cutting him off. “There is more to life than duty to the clan. Magnus, in all your training to become laird, the elders missed one important detail. That is, ye alone cannot do everything. Ye must rely on your clansmen and women, your direct family, but most of all, your wife. Your wife and children should always come first, then yourself, and finally your clan.”
“I know that now, Da. Kendra tried to tell me that before she left. She told me to leave the clan’s matters at the door when I entered our bedchamber. I deemed she wanted my attention but I acted borishly. She only meant to aid me and like an arse, I criticized her for doing so.I hope with all my heart that she forgives me when next I see her.”
“Ye must find a way to meet her halfway. So ye intend to see her again? I thought that since ye had not left that ye were resigned to let her stay at her family’s manor.”
Magnus grunted at his father’s assumption. “I wanted to leave but I still had to find out what happened to Ned and then there was the Chattan’s interference. Now that I’ve solved the mystery of Ned’s death and we’ve dealt with the Chattans… I vow to go to her but I’m despaired that she didn’t leave me a missive or send one explaining…”
“No message has come?”
“Nay and that tells me that she is still wrathful at me. I await the snow to melt and then I shall leave. I grow weary waiting for the weather to break.”
“It is hard to be separated from those that we love.”
Magnus quailed at his father’s conjecture but what he’d said was an utter truth. “I never got to tell her that I love her.”
“Ye must do so when ye see her.” His father smiled and nodded encouragingly.
“What if she doesn’t love me in return?” Admitting such vulnerability was something he’d never thought to profess. He wanted Kendra to love him because he loved her with his entire being. Now if only he could find a way to prove it. And what if she didn’t love him? The king had given her to him and she had no choice but to accept their marriage. If she didn’t love him now, he’d get her to love him one day.
“There’s no sense, lad, in staying here in the cold hall. Go on and seek your bed. Let the reminders be for the night. Cease being so hard on yourself.”
Magnus agreed by nodding but he made no move to go to his bedchamber. He wouldn’t sleep there until Kendra returned, he vowed so and wouldn’t go back on his promise to himself. As he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, he envisioned her next to him, her bonny smile, and her soft touches.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kendra waddled acrossthe hall’s floor and reached the massive table in the center. “It is as beautiful as I remembered.” She stroked her hand along the gleaming wood and smiled. “I am gladdened the hawker hadn’t sold the table yet. My thanks, John, for arranging to have the men to bring it.” Many memories were linked to the table: times spent with her father learning sums, eating meals with him and her brother when they were young, and quiet nights spent sitting together as her father spoke of his travels. How she missed those precious moments.
“I am pleased to serve you, My Lady.” John stood near her and seemed apprehensive. “Shouldn’t you sit? I fear you’ll fall on your face.”
“Are you saying that I’m large?” She scrunched her eyes at the soldier in mirth because he hadn’t spoken falsely. She was as fat as a coo and just as slow. The girth at her waist encumbered her movement and she could barely walk.
“Ah, no, of course not, My Lady.” John’s face brightened.
“I jest, John, for ’tis true, I am as large as a coo. Just look at the size of me. I can bearly fit through the threshold.”
Linet entered the hall carrying a basket of bread. “What are you doing out of bed? Kendra, you’re supposed to be in confinement. Glorious God, you could’ve fallen down the steps. Am I going to haveto watch you every moment of the day?”
Kendra smiled at her friend for her concern. “John helped me down the stairs and made certain that I didn’t fall. And nay, you don’t need to watch me.”
For his aid, John received a glare from his wife. Linet set the basket on the table and settled her hands on her hips. “What were you thinking, John? She shouldn’t have left her bed. Kendra, come along, we must get you back to your bedchamber.”
“It’s lonely there and I wish to stay here for a little while. When John told me the table had arrived, I had to see it for myself. I don’t know why you are making such a fuss.”
“Maybe it’s because you are near to birthing your babe? Or perhaps it’s because you can barely stand with the weight of that babe hunching your back? Am I the only one concerned that you’ll have this baby in the hall?”
Kendra loved Linet for her worrisome mood of late. “I have plenty of time, more than a month or so before the baby is expected. Now cease nagging me. I just wanted to see the table. Can you believe the hawker still had it? I can almost see my papa sitting at it as he’d always done.”
“I should think the hawker wouldn’t have sold it since no one could afford to purchase it. At least, none in these parts. Why do you not sit, at least, so I don’t worry. John is concerned as well for he is standing close to you and ready to catch you if he must.”