Page 51

Salt stained my cheeks, wet streaks sliding over my chin and down my neck.

I’d tried not to cry. I really had. I’d already screamed and begged and bled. And still, the kings had tortured me without a hint of remorse. Like I wasn’t their soulbound. Like I wasn’t even a person. Like I had never mattered at all.

Because I hadn’t. I never had.

I was their Mortal Bride, forced onto them for eternity less than a week ago.

I was a pawn, my entire life a lie.

I was unloved, a stranger at the Hallorans’ table when I thought myself a daughter.

I was cursed, broken inside and out, forever and always.

Of course this would happen to me. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I shouldn’t have cried. The kings had smiled at me, protected me, touched me like I was wanted… but I wasn’t. I’d known it wasn’t real.

But the moment Tristan had dropped me on the floor of the Mortal Bride’s bedchamber like I was little more than lumber, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Estrella slamming the door in my face hadn’t helped either.

I was to stay in my room—out of sight, out of the way. I was a stain on the Imperium as much as I was on Deidre’s perfect life. They wouldn’t want me out there for the whole world to see.

Would my eternity be these four walls? I’d go mad. This room wasn’t cold like my loft, like my childhood room. The sheets I curled into were soft. The mattress was made of feathers, not straw. But just because it was a beautiful prison didn’t mean it wasn’t a prison.

What had I called their apartment that first day of the bond, hours before I knew? A gilded cage? That hadn’t changed.

I was trapped. Stuck. Powerless.

The seconds dragged to minutes, dragged to hours. The cramps in my belly clawed. I had only lived without the constant pain of my illness for two weeks, but its return felt so much worse. I couldn’t do anything about it.

All I could do was wait.

I couldn’t run from this room and demand… whatever Karra would’ve demanded. I was a witch some-fucking-how, but I had no magic. No power. None whatsoever.

And even if I did, I wouldn’t know how to use it. All demonblood could read and cast runes, but turning raw lifeforce into magic took training. Precision. Skill.

I snorted. Even if I had that, what then? Barging out of this room wouldn’t change anything. What would I do? Fight two Imperial Guard and however many vampires were between me and the kings? Force the Imperium to listen? They didn’t want to talk.

And I couldn’t make them want me.

What was there to want?

I gave a sharp shake of my head and buried it in the pillows. Even if something about me was appealing, I did not want them. My vampire warlord kings, beautiful and cruel. Monster and captor and lover, all in one.

I. Did. Not. Want. Them.

But the bond disagreed. It had sunk into my heart, threading through my veins like poison. It wanted them. It needed them. It didn’t know why they were angry. It didn’t understand why we weren’t with them, soothing them.

Luc’s dark rage battered the edges of my mind. Jules’s chaos had tangled and twisted for an hour before vanishing into stark emptiness again.

There was more beyond the feral storm, beyond the terrifying void—but I couldn’t wade through it.

I didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to feel them. I didn’t want to slip into my mind and become them.

But I couldn’t fucking ignore them. It wasn’t like I had anything else to think about beyond pain. Pain that they had taken away, only to cast me back down to the pit. I couldn’t even get the satisfaction of them feeling it with me. If they hadn’t flinched when my fingers broke, what would cramps do?

My belly twisted like it was insulted.

I shook my head. Thinking about the pain made it worse. How many hours had passed? There was no way to judge time in this windowless coffin.

Fuck it. I couldn’t fucking do this. I didn’t know how to fight, lacked any charm, and apparently enjoyed being fucked like a whore, but I couldn’t just sit here while those bastards decided my fate.

If I never tried, it would always remain impossible.

I paused at the thought. Had I just quoted Jules?

I gave my head a sharp shake. Whether the advice came from the Butcher didn’t matter. I had to try. I sat up—

A sharp twist stabbed through my core. Nausea surged up my throat. Fuck. I slumped back onto the bed, clammy sweat breaking across my skin from the effort alone.

I closed my eyes. Inhaled. Exhaled.

I could do this. I could push through.

I had to do this. I had to push through.

I sat.

I stayed sitting.

I glared at the floor beside the bed.

I blew out a long breath and twisted, throwing my legs over the edge. I pushed to my feet. My muscles buckled for a second, my body swaying. I tensed. I would not fall.

Smoothing a hand down my skirt, I forced myself upright. Shoulders back, like a proper Maboni woman. Not that I was any such thing—my tangled, unbound hair, the scandalously cut emerald riding gown, my cunt still tingling from the pounding it had taken yesterday. I ignored that all and smoothed my hand down my back—

And froze.

My hands grazed a small circle of wet at the back of my gown.

I stiffened. I didn’t even need to check. I was spotting. Not a surprise, given the way my illness thrashed inside me, unleashed after so long. I twisted and tugged at the skirt, but the runes woven into the fabric slowly cleaned the stains away.

But my illness was the least of my concerns.

The first was how in the hells I planned to get through the door.

I stepped toward it slowly. Even if it was unlocked, Estrella and Tristan were likely just outside. What would I do when I faced them? They couldn’t hurt me, but I was no match for them.

I clenched my fists, my heart pounding as I approached the door. I had to at least try. Could I live with myself if I didn’t even do that?

I reached out—

The doorknob turned.

I stumbled back. Shit. Had they heard me?

Of course they had. They were fucking vampires.

But it wasn’t Estrella and Tristan who entered.

It was Maire, carrying a small tray with cured meat, wedges of soft-ripened cheese, a crusty bun glazed with honey, and clusters of sugared berries nestled in a porcelain dish. It was the smallest portion I’d ever seen in the Impire, but somehow bigger than most of my meals back home.

Was this what they served all their prisoners? Or did it mean something more? Something good or something nefarious? I stared at the little bowl of berries like it could answer my questions.

Maire stiffened when she spotted me, standing only a few feet away. I stared at her. She stared back.

“You have five minutes,” Estrella said gruffly, before slamming the door.

We continued staring in silence.

The last time I’d seen Maire had been a quick glimpse of her face in the window yesterday, after Jules fucked me in the garden. After she’d watched him fuck me. Given the betrayal I saw flash across her face, she had witnessed long before the bite, when his venom flooded my veins. The only moment it became acceptable to enjoy a vampire’s touch.

Maire raised the tray ever so slightly. “Your dinner, my lady.”

I swallowed. “Thank you.”

I didn’t say anything else. She didn’t either. With Estrella and Tristan outside, nothing we said would be private.

“Is there anything else?” The guards had said she had five minutes. That felt like a long time to deliver a tray of food.

“I’m to take the tray when I leave,” she said. “The Imperium insisted.”

Ah. So I only had five minutes to eat. I grabbed the tray and dropped back onto the bed. Pain shot through my core. I couldn’t repress the flinch.

“Are you… well?” Maire asked.

It was an innocent enough question.

I didn’t care to give a fake answer. “No.”

Maire only nodded sharply, like my reply wasn’t a surprise.

I tore into the bread. I hadn’t eaten since this morning in Tenebra de Mar, an entire lifetime ago. But now my nausea hovered at the edges, peeking out with every whiff of meat and cheese. I breathed through it, through the pain, and swallowed.

I’d need what little strength I could cobble together.

Maire watched me eat for a minute before pursing her lip. Some decision crossed her expression.

She reached into the pocket of her skirt. Whatever was in there was light enough to avoid notice. She pulled out… a scrap of bark?

I frowned, gnawing on a crust of bread. Why in the stars did she have bark in her pocket?

Maire turned it over.

Two runes were carved crudely into the surface. Silence. Obscure . I nearly flinched. The runespell wasn’t even active, but my mind yelled the meanings at me. That would take some getting used to.

So would the concept of Maire holding a rune. Where had a human thrall even gotten one? And what exactly did she plan on doing with it? Without magic or blood, Maire couldn’t activate it. She didn’t possess the first, and the vampires would smell the second.

She reached out… and handed it to me.

I stared. Why the fuck was she giving it to me? I took it anyway. My thumb traced the grooves.

My gaze snapped to her face. Did she know I was a witch? She was Cédric’s thrall. Maybe she’d overheard him discussing it or making the discovery.

But I didn’t have any magic. There was nothing inside me, no heat I could draw from.

But… I did have blood. Too easily accessible.

I bit my lip to stop a sudden hysterical laugh. Was I really going to rub the blood from my spotting on the rune? That was gross.

It was my only option.

Stars, I hoped this rune was like the runelights and would activate with blood alone. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t even be able to explain what I’d tried to do.

I pushed to shaking legs and held up a finger to Maire, asking her to wait.

Spinning around, I jolted at the sight of my reflection. Red-veined eyes. Puffy cheeks. Fuck, I looked awful. I was taller and broader than Maire, only the crown of her blond head visible in the mirror over my shoulder. She wouldn’t be able to see what I was doing.

I glanced at the ceiling and forced myself to take a deep breath. I couldn’t let my feelings slip out. If Luc or Jules sensed even a flicker of surprise or hope, they’d know something was happening. I pressed everything in me down, burying it deep under the pain.

Don’t think, Nessa. Just do.

I bunched my skirts in one hand and reached between my legs. My fingers came away smeared with pink. Eww. I swallowed, sent up a momentary prayer, and smeared the bloody ick across the rune. Please, please, please—

Silence. Obscure.

The rune flared with a flash of darkness, a gentle wave of heat brushing my skin. It burned through the bark, disintegrating in my hand until nothing remained.

I spun around. “Where did you get a rune?”

Her eyes widened, dropping to my hand—only to find me wiping at my skirts, the rune gone. She sighed out a relieved breath. “Exalted Morrena cast it.”

“How? All the delegation and thrall witches wear collars.”

“You, Nessa.”

My brows shot up. “ Me ?”

“At the Red Queen revelry, you told Exalted Morrena she could do whatever she wanted,” Maire said. “You’re the Imperium, so those words deactivated her collar. That’s how I walked through the wards in the kings’ library. You invited me in.”

I gaped at her. Oh. That… made sense. Soulbonds were designed to make multiple individuals one. The magic wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the kings and me. “You know I’m soulbound to the kings?”

She nodded. “And that you’re a witch. When I shared that I overheard Prince Cédric telling Enforcer Sabas this morning, the Isaurans told me about your bond.”

“Oh.” I sank back onto the bed, more from exhaustion than shock. “And why did they give you a privacy rune?”

“In case I got the chance to speak with you.” She glanced over her shoulder at the door. “We only have another couple minutes.”

I shoved another piece of bread into my mouth at the words. I didn’t know when I’d get another meal. “And what does Morrena want you to say to me?”

Marie’s lips twitched, almost into a frown, but she smoothed it away. “ We want you to free all the witches in Dawnspear.”

I stared. All the witches? I didn’t know how many witches were in Dawnspear, but it was probably a hundred at least. I couldn’t leave this room. Maire couldn’t sneak them in. “How would I do that?”

“She said all you need to do is say it aloud.” Maire peeked back at the door again. “You’re the Imperium, whether anyone knows it or not. You could free every thrall in the Impire.”

My eyes widened. Every thrall? With just a couple words? I didn’t have any power myself, but I wasn’t powerless after all. I could use the kings’ own authority against them.

“But you shouldn’t,” Maire blurted, seeing the look on my face. “Someone will notice that and inform the kings. Or worse, the kings will notice it themselves.”

“And then they could reactivate the runespells?”

She nodded. “Just as easily as you can deactivate them.”

She was right. Once the kings realized I had this ability—or realized I knew I had it—they also might find a way to strip it from me. I might only get one chance. “And what does Morrena plan to do once I free her?”

Maire grinned suddenly. Almost maniacal. “Burn this castle to the ground.”

“Ah.” That was… extreme. But against immortal vampires, extreme was the only option. “But what will that achieve? You aren’t going to kill the kings with a fire, even if they were in the castle.” I frowned, brushing against the bond I’d tried hard to ignore. “Which they aren’t.”

“I know,” Maire said. “They left for a feast at the Blood Legion High Command.”

I flinched. A feast? Jealousy flared, sharp enough to pierce through pain and exhaustion.

Were they feeding from someone else?

Were they fucking someone else?

I leaned back into the bond instinctively. I had to know. But no pleasure pulsed through our connection. No ghostly sensation tingled across my skin. Luc was practiced calm wrapped around a churning storm. Jules was still an empty pit of darkness wearing a smile, his emotions scooped clean from his chest.

They weren’t focused on me.

Until I focused on them.

It was like they turned in my mind, facing me—

I yanked back from the bond and imagined slamming a door in their faces. It stayed shut. But they were there on the other side.

They’d always be there.

I shuddered. That didn’t matter. I didn’t care that we were bonded for eternity. I could ignore them like I ignored my pain. Like they ignored my pain.

Fuck. Them.

I raised my chin, staring at Maire with a confidence I didn’t feel. “I want to leave.”

Maire’s green eyes widened. “You want to leave ?”

“Yes.”

“I…” She opened her mouth, closed it again. Clearly, she and Morrena hadn’t discussed this option.

“Do you know what they did to me, Maire?” I held out my hand, even though the wounds Jules left were long healed. “They broke my fingers. I told them I didn’t know anything. They knew I wasn’t lying and did it anyway. So yes, I want to leave and I want to leave now .”

“Exalted Morrena thought I would have to convince you to release them,” Maire said. “We didn’t… didn’t discuss if you wanted to leave.”

“Then go ask her.” I plucked the last piece of bread from the tray. “I free all the witches in Dawnspear from the runes placed on them by the Impire. There. Now they can use their magic to get me the fuck out of here.”

“I’ll…” She hesitated, thinking. “I’ll need to speak with them. I’m not sure that’s possible. It would mean getting through the wards. You’d have to add their blood to the door to allow them entry.”

My heart dropped. Shit. She was right. There was too much magic guarding me, never mind the two Imperial Guard outside the door.

“You can at least ask.” My voice cracked. “I don’t want to stay here, Maire.”

Her expression softened at the ache in my voice. “After I take your plate and return it to the kitchen, I have to nurse Rosier. Riona will attend to you for the rest of the night.”

“Is Riona loyal to the Azarasians?”

“She isn’t.”

“Then she can bring me their answer.” I lowered the tray and reached for her hand. I’d beg if I had to. “Please, Maire—”

The doorknob turned.

Maire and I pulled back at the same time. But the guards barely looked at us, unconcerned with what a human and a powerless witch could do.

“Time’s up,” Tristan said.

Maire nodded and took the tray.

I stared up at her, pleading with my eyes.

After a moment, she sighed. “Have a good night, my lady. Riona will attend to you later.” She widened her eyes, holding my gaze like we could speak without words. “I’m sure she’ll care for any need you have.”

Any need I had. Thank the fucking stars. Maire would ask the question. Riona would deliver my answer, whatever it was.

I gave a small nod. “Thank you, Maire.”

She left the room without a second glance. Estrella pulled the door closed behind her.

I sunk into the mattress.

All I had left to do was wait.