Page 18
CHAPTER 17
It’s been two days since I’ve heard from any of the guys. No unexpected visits, no stolen things, no threats scribbled across my mirror in red.
My life has been eerily quiet.
And yet, even in the silence, they haunt every corner of my mind. I keep replaying what happened on that altar. I’ve been cycling between disgust and a sick sense of intrigue. I should be ashamed of what we did. Yet, I’ve masturbated to the memory of it… twice .
Is something wrong with me? Am I so broken on the inside that the thing I needed to truly wake me up from the mundane life I forced myself into was that ?
What’s worse is that even more than the phantom feel of Aidric’s fingers, or Sebastian’s cock in my mouth, it’s Callan I can’t stop thinking about.
That look in his eyes. Those words. It’s all lodged in my chest.
“I just don’t want to watch my boys fall for a vixen who’s gonna break their hearts the same way you did mine.”
He’s never said anything like that before. Never hinted that I hurt him. And now I can’t stop wondering how I possibly could have.
Is that why he’s always been so cold? So cruel? Did I break his heart and never even realize it?
“Good afternoon, sweetie,” Winnie says softly, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I blink, refocusing. "Hi. How is she today?" I ask my mom’s nurse at Juniper Heart, the psychiatric facility where she stays.
Stays. That’s the word I cling to. It’s less final than “lives” here. This place isn’t her home. It’s a detour until she’s well. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Yet, with each visit, it feels a little more permanent.
Winnie offers a gentle smile. "Today’s been a good day," she says. "This morning was a little rough, but after her meds, she settled. She’s actually outside right now…with a visitor."
I blink. "A visitor?"
That doesn’t make sense. My dad and I are the only ones who come to see her. And he hasn’t been here in over a year.
My chest tightens, hope pressing against my ribs as I punch my name into the digital keypad. I murmur a quick thanks to Winnie before making my way toward the garden doors, my steps picking up speed.
I can’t believe he came.
As soon as I step outside, my eyes search for her— for him. A gentle breeze wraps the scent of lavender around me, and I take in the calming landscape.
In the heart of the garden is a circular seating area with a fireplace in the center. On the outskirts are beautiful shrubs with flat tops. Littered throughout the garden, hostas mingle with a colorful array of flowers. There are tulips, daisies, zinnias, and some others I don’t know the name of.
On the far right, there’s a large, three-tiered stone water fountain. Its weathered look only adds to the charm. I wonder how many wishes were made in that fountain. I’d toss endless pennies into it if I knew my one wish would come true.
Then I see her.
Seated in a wheelchair, on the side of the fountain, my mom has her hands raised in the air. Her fingers move around like a conductor orchestrating an invisible symphony. All to the sound of the trickling water as she’s lost in a melody only she can hear.
Her short, thin brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail, revealing the smile on her face. She’s wearing her favorite color—a lemon-yellow sweater adorned with white knitted sunshines scattered all over it.
I scan the area around her, searching for my dad. Then as I start toward her, a figure steps out from beside the fountain. But it’s not my dad.
It’s Sebastian.
My heart plummets, crashing into the pit of my stomach. The sight of him gripping the handles of her wheelchair sends a sharp jolt through me. My breaths turn heavy, each one fueling the fire rising in my chest. With every step I take, the space between us shrinks, and so does my restraint.
“Get away from her!” I shout, my voice cutting through the hum of the fountain. He’s wearing a navy suit jacket with a white collared shirt, looking as composed as ever even with all of his tattoos. He’s a wolf in sheep's clothing if I ever saw one.
Just as Sebastian begins to turn his head, I catch him off guard, and without hesitation, I shove him hard against his side. He stumbles back a few steps, but his grip on my mom’s wheelchair remains firm.
If it weren’t for a dozen people surrounding us with their loved ones, I’d punch this fucker square in the face.
"What the hell are you doing?" I grit out.
Sebastian's smirk doesn't falter. If anything, it deepens, like he’s enjoying every second of this.
I can't believe there was even a sliver of a second when I actually considered trying to befriend this piece of shit. I don’t even know how he knows…
Callan. That asshole.
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. I never fully trusted Callan to keep my secret, or at least one of them, but I didn’t expect him to spill it to Sebastian. And if Sebastian knows, then Aidric probably does, too.
Betrayal settles in, pressing against the anger already burning inside me.
"Hello there, Avery." He smirks. "Glad you could join us."
I ignore him, my focus locked on my mom as I round the wheelchair and crouch in front of her.
"Hey, Mom," I say, my voice gentle, despite the storm fuming inside me.
She doesn’t react, her gaze fixed on the fountain, looking straight through me while she’s lost in a world of her own. Her hands keep moving in the air, a small smile lifting the corners of her lips.She seems to be okay. For now.
I rise to my feet, every muscle in my body wound tight and ready to spring. But I hold my ground because my mom is my priority.
Sebastian’s grin stretches wider. “Just came to check on your mom. Make sure she’s doing all right. Seems to be great.” His eyebrows lift. “In fact, just before you got here, she was telling me a story about you. And let me tell you, it was quite an interesting tale.”
My cheeks burn with indignation, my pulse hammering in my ears, but I refuse to let it show. I keep my expression unreadable, locking eyes with him as I dare him to push further.
If this is a game, then fine. I’ll play. But he’s gonna regret ever dealing me in.
“What do you want?” I growl.
His fingers ghost my cheek. “Just checking in. How’s the jaw? Is it sore from being stretched so wide?”
I slap his hand away, rage flashing hot beneath my skin. “Fuck you.”
“Avery Castle,” he croons. “That’s no way to speak in front of your mother.”
“Cut the bullshit, Sebastian. Why the hell are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be with your team in Cloverville?”
“Nah.” He waves his hand lazily through the air. “They had to go on without me. Couldn’t leave our girl unsupervised. Besides, I’ve been suspended for two games. Turns out, telling your coach to suck your dick isn’t great for team morale.” He reaches for me again, fingers grazing the air between us, but I step back. “But you like it. Don’t you, Little Lamb?”
“You need to leave,” I grit out, jaw clenched so tight I’m surprised I haven’t cracked a tooth. “Right now, Sebastian.”
I grab his arm, trying to drag him away, but he doesn’t budge. My chest tightens, hot tears threatening to fall because he now knows something very few people know—not even my best friend.
And I don’t know if it’s shame, or embarrassment, or just pure, blinding panic, but whatever it is, he can’t be here. Not in this place. Not anywhere near my mom, or this version of me.
In one smooth motion, Sebastian rips his arm from my grip. “Come on, Avery,” he says, mockingly soft. “I just wanted a little glimpse into your personal life. You keep everything so bottled up. What’s the problem here?”
“The problem?” I snap, voice rising. “The problem is I can’t fucking stand you, Sebastian. You’re the last person I want near my family, especially my mom.”
My throat tightens, and I force the words out past the lump forming there. “You can’t hurt her the way you’re trying to hurt me. Please.”
He tilts his head, confusion flickering across his face like he genuinely doesn’t get it. “What do you think I am, Avery? Some kind of monster?”
“Yes!” I shout. “That’s exactly what you are.”
A sinister smile curls on his lips just before he laughs menacingly.“You’re right,” he says. “I am.”
I shake my head, completely mind-blown by the fact that any human can be so damn cold. And to think I gave this asshole an orgasm.
“Fine,” I say firmly, arms crossed over my chest. “What do you want from me, Sebastian?”
He taps a finger against his chin, pretending to think, dragging it out like he’s enjoying every second of watching me squirm.
While he’s wasting my time, I use the moment to steal a glance at my mom. The sight of her tugs at my heartstrings. She’s so beautiful. Even now, like this. She might appear lost, but she’s at peace in her own mind. At least, she is today.
Then, I’m torn away from the moment by the gruff sound of Sebastian’s voice.
“I’ve made up my mind,” he says, all too casually, like he’s about to ask me to fetch the morning paper for him instead of detonating a bomb. “I want… you .”
I gulp. “Excuse me?”
“That’s right.” He steps closer, and closer, until his shoulders brush mine. “I want you, Little Lamb. And you might not know this about me, but I always get what I want.”
And here, all this time, I thought Aidric was the more debauched of the three. Hell, they’re all a coldhearted fucking mess.
“Well,” I say, steeling my voice as I press a finger to his chest and shove him back a step, “I’m not up for grabs. So you’ll have to try again.”
Sebastian throws an arm around my neck, pulling me in close like we’re old friends. My skin crawls, and the minute I try to pull away, he tightens his grip. “Take a walk with me, Little Lamb.”
Knowing better than to make a scene here, I force my feet to move, matching his steps until we’re tucked within a row of tall trees. I push myself up on my tiptoes, making sure I have a clear view of my mom, and when I see her, my nerves settle a tad.
Sebastian leans in, his breath a whisper in my ear. “When I say I want you,” he murmurs, “I mean I’m going to have you. And if you fight me…well, I might just have to do exactly what you begged me not to do.”
My heart splinters. My mom.
“Don’t you dare touch her.”
His nose scrunches up before he crowds me. “I would never physically hurt your mom, Avery. Despite what you may think of me, I have some morals.”
I scoff. “So what are you threatening here, exactly?
“You see,” he continues, casually brushing something off his sleeve, “the connections we’ve formed in our society run far and wide. We’re handed opportunities most billionaires can’t buy.”
He smirks, eyes glinting. “One phone call to the administrator, and your mom’s gone. Moved out of this cozy little facility in a matter of minutes.”
“You wouldn’t,” I say breathlessly as my mind scrambles to put together a coherent thought.
Who has that much power? Who needs that much power?
“I would.” He tilts his head. “Is that what you want, Avery? Your sweet, helpless mom displaced just because her daughter doesn’t know how to play nice?”
Every damn time I think I’m two steps ahead of these assholes, they remind me they’re the ones pulling the strings. I’ve never been a quitter, but I’m so damn close to just throwing in the towel.
Not yet, though.
Reaching up, I dig my fingers into the skin of his forearm, and peel him off me with every ounce of strength I have left. My body snaps back as I shove myself free.
“What the hell do you want me for?” I growl.
“Many things, actually,” he says smoothly. “Your talents on the archery field could prove useful.” His eyes drop to my lips. “And that mouth of yours.” He groans. “That mouth works wonders.”
“You’re such a fucking pig.”
“And you’re my little lamb,” he purrs, smug and disgusting.
I plant my hands on my hips, tapping the toe of my shoe against the dirt, and fake an exaggerated yawn.He knows he’s getting to me, and when it comes to Sebastian, indifference is the game I need to play. Aidric is easy; I can talk him to death. And Callan, all he wants is to make me miserable.
“In all seriousness,” he says, tone shifting. “This isn’t just about sex, or even your body. As much as I do enjoy that part. It’s about compliance. You learning how to stop being so fucking defiant all the time. Play your part, and who knows, you might actually find that you enjoy our company.”
“The hell I will.”
He smirks. “You’d be surprised.”
Taking a deep breath, I throw my hands up in mock surrender, hiding the fire still burning inside me. If playing my part gets him out of here, I’ll fake it till I make it.
“Fine,” I say, forcing the words out. “I’m yours. You win. Can you go now?”
“Not so fast,” Sebastian says, his arrogant expression pinned in place. “First of all, I don’t believe a single word slipping through those pretty lips of yours.”
He steps closer, voice dropping. “Second of all, to kick-start this little deal of ours, I need you at our house tomorrow at eight o’clock, sharp .”
I arch a brow, but he keeps going.
“You see, my boy Callan is pretty fucking pissed at me right now. So to make it up to him, I’m giving him what he wants…and that would be you.”
“Oh.” I laugh, dry and sharp. “So now I’m Callan’s, too?”
He nods, so certain of himself. “You belong to all ranking members of our society—me, Callan, and Aidric.”
Society. Every time I hear that word my pulse spikes. I still don’t know what it means, or what they do, but I know it’s dangerous. And now I know that these guys are all ranking members.
Interesting .
Maybe going to this party is exactly what I need to do so I can dig into thissocietythey keep talking about. I may not be able to bring them down without torching myself, and now possibly my family, but at least I’ll know what I’m now part of now.
“Okay,” I say, the word laced with fire. “I’ll be there.”
“I know you will.” His arm hooks around me again, leading me back in the direction we came. “Walk me out, Little Lamb.”
I practically choke on the bile rising in my throat before swallowing down the burn.
The second he walks through the doors, disappearing from the garden, I unravel.
My face falls into my hands and I stifle a scream. I’ve never handled a lack of control well. Something I learned the hard way when my mother fell ill. The chaos of that time left me grasping for anything steady. My therapist encouraged me to empower myself through activities where I held the reins—hence, archery.
Turns out, when I clung to something like a lifeline, I could be pretty damn good at it. Too good, maybe. Because now, all that control I worked so hard to build has come back around and bitten me in the ass.
After a few deep breaths, I wipe my face and collect myself. Then, I put on another one of the masks I wear so well and go back to my mom, because I really need her right now. She might not be able to hear me or even speak at the moment, but sometimes, just being close to her is all I need to soothe the ache in my heart.