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PROLOGUE

DREW

Brazen being It

21 years old

The Tail of the Dragon, Deals Gap, North Carolina.

Deal’s Gap, North Carolina, a significant place for every Hellion. And in twenty-four hours a Hellion I will be. The Tail of the Dragon, Dragon’s Tail, whichever way you want to say it, this is the ride of rides for every brother in the Hellions MC.

There is nothing I want more in this life than to be a Hellion like my dad. Andy “Shooter” Jenkins lives for brotherhood. The former Army green beret lived his life in a brotherhood. He tells us all the Hellions saved him from the haunting in his head. To feel part of something again kept him on the right track. That small step became his life. It’s how he met my mom.

She has a complicated history with the club. She had my older brother, Axel, with Rex. Drexel “Rex” Crews, the Catawba Hellions Chapter President is a wild card. When my mom’s car broke down one night, Rex sent his club brother, Shooter, to pick her up. My dad met my mom, they went through some crazy shit together. The rest is history.

They are all the best of friends now and co-parented Axel like this was how it always was. Rex and Caroline, his wife, are my god-parents for fuck’s sake. Rex and my dad are inseparable and as the VP to the club, I can see where that is necessary.

Tomorrow, I get to join my father, god-father, and older brother in this family legacy of brotherhood. It’s different to be a brother, an elevated level of respect.

A knock on my hotel room door has my attention. Moving to open it, my brother Axel stands on the other side. He steps in the space with a grim look on his face.

“Andrew,” he mutters walking deeper into my room. His arms are crossed over his chest with a grimace on his face. “I need you to know I told Rex not to put you to a vote. You won’t get your rocker tomorrow.”

Rage hits me like a ton of bricks.

I laugh out loud in unbelief, “What the fuck are you talking about?

“I wanted to be the one to tell you myself. I sat at the table and told Rex not to bring you to vote yet. I told Rex I would say no. I would be the holdout.”

I go into overdrive, reacting without thought. Instantly, I ball my fist up and throw and uppercut at him that he moves causing me to miss. Having fought more than once with my brother, I anticipated this and come in with a jab that hits straight to his left eye. He will feel that for a few days for sure.

“What the fuck?” I roar.

“I didn’t want to humiliate you. The rules are the rules. You only get one chance to prospect and patch in. One no means you’re out for life.”

“You what?” I ask in disbelief as the air between us grows thick.

“I did this for you and your future, Drew.”

“Bull fucking shit!” I snap. “You don’t want me to be your equal.”

Axel gives me a huff, “Prospect, watch your disrespect. I’m still a fuckin’ officer. But this isn’t about that shit.” His jaw twitches in the way it does when Axel Crews is pissed off. “You’re twenty-one. You’ve not had a ton of life experience. The things sometimes required of this club, you’re not ready.”

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, or maybe the kidney. “You don’t think I’m good enough.”

He doesn’t answer. He looks at me with his crystal clear eyes, the same ones I’ve always wished I had my whole life. The ones that are full of expectations I can never seem to live up to.

“I think,” he calmly states, “you need more time. That’s all. You have fucking potential and you’re a damn genius. But you’re impulsive and a fuckin’ hot head. You think every insult needs a fist and a pound of flesh. Everything is personal. You don’t see the big picture yet. It’s always club first. Brothers above all others.”

“You’re my fucking brother. Spent my whole life in your shadow. I trusted you to have my back.”

“There ya go. It’s not about you, Drew. It’s about the club first. You’ll see one day.”

“Fuck you, Axel.”

He shakes his head. “I was hoping you would be mature and hear me out. The things we have to do sometimes can eat you up inside. I just want you to be ready. I’m your brother first and I want nothing but the best for you.”

“Fuck you, you’re relieved of your duty as my sponsor,” I lock my eyes to his, “and my fuckin’ brother.”

Then without another word, he exits my room leaving me to pick up the pieces of my shattered world.

I don’t sleep. I can’t decide if I need to go home or act like nothing has changed. How bad do I want this?

If I go home, I give up the club. The only thing I’ve ever seen myself doing. This is all I’ve wanted, to be part of this family. If I act like nothing has changed, how do I keep doing this? How long will I keep prospecting.

Morning comes before I am ready. The noise outside of the hotel only stabs me in the heart all over again. The other brothers are prepping their bikes, mentally preparing for the ride.

Three hundred and eighteen curves in eleven miles in the mountains.

He said I’m impulsive. A new resolve comes over me. I’m going to show him. I fight my instinct to run and press on like a toy soldier. I’ll show Axel. I’ll earn my way in and one day I will out rank him.

Until that day, I’ll play the fucking part. With a new attitude, I change my jeans and t-shirt, sliding on my boots. When it’s time to put my cut on, the weight is heavier than ever before.

I keep things casual, stay quiet. We line up and I take my place in the very back with the other prospects from all the charters. In moments, I’m riding with a demon consuming my mind. The rage is all-consuming. But I use the fury to keep focused.

The curves come up fast, like the club life can be some times. There isn’t time to think, lean in and trust your instincts. A man has to be sharper than the asphalt under him. I twist the throttle into each one rather than backing off. Sometimes even scraping my pegs on the pavement. I want the danger, the adrenaline only feeding the demon that is in control.

The Tail is supposed to be a victory ride. A ride as a single unit facing all the curves as one. Except today that’s not true when you’re Axel “Double” Crew’s little brother and he has the power to stop it all.

The steady tick of the Harley-Davidson engine swallows the roar wanting to erupt from my chest. If only I could drown out the memory of my brother in that hotel room last night. The only victory I have is he is sporting a solid, swollen black eye and refuses to answer who got the best of him.

Every bend is a curse. Every moment upright going straight is a scream in my head.

The Tail isn’t for pleasure today. It’s for my fury. The mountains are a blur of green and gray, with the air sharp in my lungs, and the taste of everything bitter in my mouth. I push harder, faster, chasing something unnamed.

Respect?

Redemption?

Acceptance?

I move out of a tight turn, twisting the throttle, the back tire hitting a bit of loose gravel. Fishtailing just enough to make my heart beat even faster. I correct myself and ease into the next curve. The rhythm of the ride and the others around me pull me into line, demanding my focus.

For a few moments, I forget Axel. I forget the club. It’s me, my bike, and the road under me. In a single moment of clarity the ride touches my very soul.

Fuck them all.

No one can take this feeling from me. The freedom of the air around me, the miles beneath me.

It’s only a momentary reprieve from the darkest hour of my life. We get back to the hotel and the prospects who are being patched through are given a speech and a party. I do my part and sit through it all.

When the drinking begins, I take off along to ride the mountain town. Pulling off at one of the overlooks for tourists, I relish the quiet. The only noise is the gravel crunching under my boots after I kill the engine. The wind hits thick with everything I don’t want to feel. Yanking off my helmet, I drop it to the ground. I pace the overlook like a caged animal. The view that is truly breathtaking is eating me up inside. All the trees, standing tall and proud, untouchable.

My brother’s words play over in my head as I dig my fingers into my scalp and squeeze my eyes closed tight.

I’m not ready.

How can he say that? I’ve played bitch for almost three years. Ran every bullshit errand, did every stupid job. What else do I need to do? Give them my fucking blood? Fine, take it.

I hear the soft rumble of a bike approaching. I know it’s Toon before I even turn to look.

He’s almost thirty. He came to Catawba last year and crashed with me for a few months before getting his own place. I live in the old garage apartment my dad built for Axel before he got married to Yesnia and moved to a subdivision.

Toon is a quiet guy. He’s always calm. The colored comic book strip style artwork that covers both of his arms in full sleeves and his legs is what makes him, Toon. It’s all cartoon and comic characters from Archie and Garfield to Batman in an early eighties style drawing.

Living together, we built a friendship. I guess he senses something is off with me. In moments, he is off his bike and lighting a cigarette as he struts over to me as if he’s got all the time in the world. “Wanna talk about it?”

I don’t answer.

“You didn’t go to vote, Little Foot. They aren’t stripping your cut when we get back.”

I let out a sarcastic huff. “Do you know why I didn’t go to vote?”

He shakes his head taking another draw of his cigarette.

“Fuckin’ Double told Rex not to put my name on the table because he would vote me down.”

Toon whistles low. “Shit.”

“Said he doesn’t think I’m ready yet and didn’t want to cost me my chance.”

His brow lifts, “he did what?”

“Came to my room last night, laid it out. He doesn’t think I’m mature enough and wants me to give it more time as a prospect.”

He shakes his head. “You think you need more time?”

“I’m fuckin’ ready, Toon,” I tell him confidently.

He looks out to the mountain in under the night sky. “Vision is blurred. Gotta see clearly.”

“What the fuck! Not you too!”

He steps into my space. “You ready to take a life in the name of brotherhood? Literally watch a man take his last breath at your hand? Did you think maybe your brother doesn’t want that life for you? The weight of the cost of this cut sometimes is another man’s life. Are you prepared for that? Sometimes this is what is necessary. No one likes it, but you gotta be man enough to not let it eat you up inside.”

Anger builds. Toon being Toon is unfazed by me.

“You got fuckin’ fire, Little Foot. But you burn too hot. Don’t think shit through. The rate you’re goin’ you’re gonna burn up.”

“Maybe I want to.” I challenge.

He laughs, “no the fuck you don’t. You want to be seen. You want to be part of this. You’re busting your ass for this. You just gotta learn it ain’t about you. What does the club need? And if that means blood shed or a life lost, including your own, you are willing to go the distance. What does the club need? A man who can be patient and wait for the right time or one who has never had to hold back?”

I look out over the trees feeling worse than I did before. He doesn’t see me either. None of them do.

“Drew,” he says my regular name. “Look man, you got a spark inside you I don’t want to die out. But you don’t wanna get your patch because of who you were born to. You wanna know you earned that shit. That you put brotherhood above everything including your pride."

"No one would have voted me through simply because of who I am.”

He reaches out and squeezes my shoulder, “For Shooter, yeah, they would. For Rex, yeah they would. For you, yeah they would.”

I don’t reply.

“Come on, let me get you a beer. The fact you took the ride today, you’ve earned more respect from me than before. Keep your head down, learn what it is to be a brother and you’ll have that patch and your place and it will be on your merit not whose son you happen to be.”

His words settle into my soul. I will prove them wrong. I don’t care how long it takes now. I’m going to make sure Axel regrets doubting me. More than showing him up, when I earn my final rocker, it’s going to be because I am someone they respect as a man. Not someone they tolerate because I’m a son to a Hellion.

After finishing his cigarette, we head back to our bikes and back to the hotel.

I may not have my final rocker today, but I will.

I’m not done. Not by a long shot.

Something inside me has changed. A fire that was smoldering inside me just found its fuel.