Page 9 of Brave Horizons (Barrington Billionaires #19)

TOPEKA

After watching the sun set over the water, they sat by the fire, the flames casting a warm glow on their faces.

The darkness of the night surrounded them, but the crackling fire provided a comforting contrast. They had found a way to make it through the rest of the day without the weight of what they might face tomorrow crushing them.

The jokes had started coming back, and the tension had eased, if only a little.

She found more comfort than she expected in his proclamation about staying with her until the end.

Alex poked at the fire with a stick, sending a shower of sparks into the night sky. Topeka watched him, feeling a growing sense of gratitude for his presence.

“Tell me something,” she said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence. Her voice carried out into the quiet night. She wasn’t as spooked as she had been last night. The forest wasn’t scary, feeling like a cocoon instead of a coffin .

Alex looked up, a puzzled expression on his face. “Tell you something? Like what?”

She smiled softly. “You know plenty about the most difficult things in my life. I want to know more about you. If I was wrong about what I said about your hero complex, why do you do all these things?”

Alex leaned back, contemplating her request. He stared into the fire for a moment before speaking.

“When I was in high school, I had a girlfriend named Emily. We were pretty serious, as serious as you can be at that age. Her older brother, Jake, was a Marine. He was a few years older than we were and was kind of a big brother figure to me too. I idolized him.”

Topeka listened intently, sensing that this story held a significant piece of who Alex was.

“One summer, Jake was deployed overseas. Before he left, he and I spent an afternoon fishing. Emily was out shopping for a prom dress with her mom. We were just sitting out there in the quiet, waiting for the fish to bite. Then he told me something that changed my life.”

“I’m starting to learn that pretty profound stuff happens when you sit in the quiet.” She smiled at him warmly.

“It does,” he chuckled. “Jake told me the reason he enlisted was because he understood there were already people over there. Friends he knew from college. The idea that maybe someone wasn’t covering their backs kept him up at night.

Why should he be able to grow old and live a comfortable life when other people were risking it all for his freedom? ”

“That’s admirable.”

“Before that day I thought Jake was the coolest guy I’d ever met.

Then I saw him as the bravest. He shipped out a couple days later and never came back.

He was killed in action. I remember the day we got the news.

Emily was devastated. Her entire family was never the same.

It was like a light had gone out in their lives, and nothing could bring it back. ”

Topeka could hear the pain in his voice as he recounted the memory. “I’m so sorry, Alex. That must have been incredibly hard for you too.”

Alex nodded. “It was. I think about Jake a lot. At first, I was angry and confused. It felt so unfair. He was a good man, and he deserved a long, happy life. I couldn’t understand why he had to die.”

Topeka leaned closer, her curiosity piqued. “So why in the world did that make you want to enlist? If anything, I would think that would make you want to run in the other direction.”

Alex smiled sadly. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?

But Jake’s death made me realize something.

He believed in what he was doing. He believed in protecting others, even at the cost of his own life.

I wanted to honor that. I wanted to carry on his legacy in some way.

And what he said really struck me. He was over there and, in that moment, no one had his back. I could be that for the next person.”

Topeka felt a deep respect for him growing inside her. “That’s incredibly brave, Alex. I don’t know if I could have made that choice. ”

“It wasn’t always easy,” he admitted. “There were times I questioned it, times I was scared. But I always remembered Jake and why I was doing it. It kept me going. The oil rig. Working with you and other people the Kinross organization sends my way. It’s all the same thing.

I don’t get a thrill from saying I protect people.

I’ve got this pain in my chest that if I don’t show up for someone, they might not make it home.

But the good thing about that is, people show up for me. People have my back too.”

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself,” she said softly, trying to reach the ever-changing expression on his face. “You can’t save everyone.”

“Trust me, I’ve learned that lesson a few times over. I know sometimes no matter what I do, it might not be enough. But that fuels me to keep going. Does that answer your question about what makes me tick?”

“Partly. I’m sorry if I insulted you the other day when I tried summing you up so quickly. I should have assumed there was more to the story. I don’t normally jump to conclusions. I was out of sorts and frustrated.”

“I forgive you.”

“What happened between you and Emily?”

He dipped his head low, looking as if the world had landed on his shoulders. “She couldn’t imagine I’d enlist after what happened to Jake. She told me she couldn’t go through it again, and I understood. The breakup was expected but still brutal. She was my first love.”

“Do you know where she is now?”

“Of course,” he laughed. “When you live in a place with so few people you always know everyone’s business. She’s married to an awesome guy named Mike. They have four kids and I actually coached their oldest in little league. It all worked out for her in the end.”

“But not for you?” It felt intrusive to keep pressing for more answers but she was trying to uncover something, she wasn’t sure what it was yet.

“That’s not my journey. I keep my head down, do what needs to be done so that people like Emily can have lives they deserve.”

That was it. The word deserve said it all.

“You do know that you’re built for more than risking your life for others.

Yes, people need to know someone has their back, but it doesn’t always have to be you.

You deserve whatever life you want. Just because you take a step back doesn’t mean everyone is going to be in danger suddenly. ”

“You would be.” He raised a brow to challenge her to answer.

“Okay, once I’m not your problem anymore, you could do something different.”

“Like what?” He clearly thought this was a ludicrous idea.

“Anything. Meet someone. Take time to get to know them and take care of yourself. There’s always going to be people out on that rig, even if you aren’t one of them.

And they’ll look out for each other. Obviously, your experience with Jake had a profound effect on you, but do you think he’d want you to have put your whole life on hold just to live up to the ideals he talked about when he was practically a kid himself? ”

“I don’t think my life is on hold,” he said, a defensive tone on his tongue. “I do plenty every day. I’m living.”

“I know that. But you said it yourself, your lifestyle doesn’t lend itself well to a relationship.

Hell, it doesn’t lend itself well to owning a house plant.

You’re gone all the time. A dangerous job.

If you let yourself, I think you could have a fulfilling relationship and a fulfilling life just like Emily does. ”

“I’m fulfilled.” He stared across the fire at her, a small smile on his lips. “Don’t worry about me, Topeka. I’ve got exactly what I’m supposed to have.”

“Alex,” she said, her face crumpling with concern. “You’re boxing yourself into this role. This caricature of a man who has only one purpose. One mode.” She stood and walked over to him. “Maybe you don’t think you deserve more, but I do.”

She was standing next to him now, his face six inches from her stomach. The temperature of the fire felt unimpressive compared to the heat growing between them.

“You barely know me,” he retorted, turning his face up to look her in the eyes.

She took his cheek in her hand and felt the tingle of stubble across her palm. “You’re right. There’s a lot about you I don’t know.”

“Remember I have references. Women who’d tell you everything that’s wrong with me. I can give you their numbers. ”

“Or maybe I’ll find out for myself. I’m assuming you have some redeeming qualities.” She gave him an intensely tantalizing look. “Maybe you’re emotionally unavailable but physically...”

“Well I’d like to think there would be far fewer complaints in that department. I’ve certainly never heard any.”

With her intention laid bare, he rose to his feet and extinguished any self-doubt from her mind.

His hands were on her hips pulling her body against his with a hungry force.

She didn’t wait for his lips to crush down on hers.

Instead she looped her arms around his neck and raised to her tip-toes to land the kiss first. She wanted him to know this was her choice.

He wasn’t taking advantage of her unsteady emotional state.

If anything she was the one capitalizing on the opportunity.

Though judging by the fire in his kiss, he was certainly a willing participant.

The funnier part was trying to figure out the logistics.

She’d never done this in the woods. Lumberjacks had been hard to find in the city in Texas.

Not being a nature girly herself, she’d never given much thought to being pressed up against a tree and ravaged.

Now it was sounding like a pretty hot proposition.