Page 25 of Bound Vows (Empire City Syndicate #3)

Maya

Waking up wrapped around Andrei after last night should feel satisfying, but instead, I’m consumed by a jealousy so vicious it makes me want to punch something, preferably Katarina’s perfectly sculpted face.

The emotion twists in my stomach like a living thing, feeding on every memory of her hand on his arm and the way she looked at him. I hate that another woman’s obvious desire for my husband makes me want to claw her eyes out when I should be focused on escaping this situation.

But the truth lodged in my chest won’t be ignored: I don’t want to escape anymore. I want to eliminate the competition.

“You’re thinking very loudly for someone who’s supposed to be recovering,” Andrei observes without opening his eyes.

“I’m thinking about your intelligence coordinator and her wandering hands.” I prop myself up on my uninjured elbow to look at him. “We need to discuss Katarina.”

“We discussed her yesterday. Multiple times.” His lips curve into a smug smile that makes me want to bite him. “I believe the conversation concluded quite satisfactorily.”

“The physical conclusion was satisfactory. The actual conversation was incomplete.” I take a deep breath, gathering courage for questions I’m not sure I want answered.

“I know she’s Elena’s sister, but I need to know about their relationship.

About why she thinks she understands what you need better than I do. ”

Andrei’s body goes rigid underneath me, and his eyes snap open. “What about their relationship?”

“Everything. Why she feels entitled to an opinion about your personal life. Why she acts like she’s been waiting her turn for years. I need to know what I’m competing against.”

“You’re not competing against anyone. Elena is dead, and Katarina is an employee whose personal feelings are irrelevant to her professional duties.” He sits up and reaches for his water glass on the nightstand. “There’s nothing more to discuss.”

“There’s everything to discuss. Katarina doesn’t act like an employee with irrelevant feelings. She acts like a woman who’s been promised something. How long has she been in love with you?”

Andrei takes a deep drink, buying time from the looks of it, and sets the glass down. “Katarina isn’t in love with me. She’s loyal to my organization and grateful for the opportunities I’ve provided. Whatever else you think you see is projection based on your insecurities.”

“She touches you like she has the right to, and she compares me unfavorably to her dead sister. Don’t you dare blame this on my insecurities.” I sit up and pull the sheet around myself. “Tell me about Elena, Andrei. Tell me what made her so perfect that Katarina thinks I’ll never measure up.”

“Elena was…” He pauses and stares at something beyond my shoulder.

“Elena was everything good about the world before it was poisoned by violence and betrayal. She was gentle, kind, and innocent of the darkness that surrounds this life. Elena died eighteen months after our wedding. Car bomb in our driveway, intended for me but triggered when she started the ignition.”

His voice becomes mechanical, like he’s reciting facts from someone else’s tragedy. “She was three months pregnant with our first child.”

My stomach drops to my toes as the full horror of his loss becomes clear. “She died instantly?”

“No,” he replies with the smallest shake of his head. “She lived long enough to make me promise to take care of Katarina. Elena knew her sister had nowhere else to go and no other family to depend on. I’ve honored that promise for eight years.”

“By giving her a place in your organization.”

“By giving her purpose, protection, and a sense of belonging in a world that had taken everything else from her. Katarina lost her only sister because of my enemies. The least I could do was ensure she never wanted for anything.”

“Including you?”

“Katarina’s feelings about me are complicated by grief and gratitude.

She confuses loyalty with love and protection with romance.

” Andrei pushes himself up against the headboard.

“I’ve never encouraged those feelings, but I haven’t discouraged them, either.

She’s useful, and her devotion ensures loyalty. ”

“Useful.” I taste the word like poison. “You’re using her unrequited love as a management tool.”

“Katarina’s feelings make her more valuable, not less.” His face hardens into the mask I recognize from our early encounters. “Sentiment has no place in strategic thinking.”

“Sentiment like guilt over your dead wife’s dying wish? Sentiment like being terrified to disappoint a dead woman by letting her sister get hurt?” I slide off the bed and reach for my robe. “You’re not managing Katarina’s usefulness, Andrei. You’re managing your guilt.”

“My guilt is irrelevant.”

I tie the robe around my waist and move to the window.

“Your guilt is driving everything. You can’t fire her, set boundaries with her, or tell her the truth about her feelings because doing any of those things would betray Elena’s memory.

So instead, you let her touch you inappropriately and make claims on your attention. ”

“I let her maintain her illusions because they serve a purpose. Happy employees are loyal employees, and Katarina’s happiness depends on believing she has a future with me.” Andrei stands and pulls on his pajama pants. “It’s a small price to pay for devotion.”

“It’s a cruel price to extract from someone who’s already lost everything. And it’s a dangerous game to play with someone who has access to sensitive information about your operations.”

“Katarina would never betray me. Her loyalty is absolute.”

“Her loyalty to Elena’s memory is absolute,” I correct.

“Her loyalty to you becomes complicated when another woman threatens her perceived position. What happens when she realizes you’ll never love her the way she loves you?

What happens when her usefulness is outweighed by her potential for causing problems? ”

“That situation won’t arise. Katarina understands her place in my life, even if she occasionally oversteps. Her feelings are manageable as long as they don’t interfere with her performance.” Andrei moves to his dresser and begins selecting his clothes for the day.

“Her feelings are already interfering with her performance. She spent yesterday trying to convince you to eliminate me.” I watch him pull a shirt from the drawer. “How long before she takes matters into her hands?”

“Katarina wouldn’t harm you. She knows the consequences of threatening what belongs to me.”

“Katarina is a woman in love with a man who will never love her back, and she’s watching that man become obsessed with another woman.

Logic and consequences don’t apply to that level of emotional investment.

” I sit on the edge of the bed and study his face.

“You’re playing with psychological dynamite, and eventually, it will explode. ”

“Then I’ll handle the explosion when it occurs. Until then, Katarina remains useful enough to justify the risks. Though I appreciate your concern for my organization’s security.”

I throw my hands in the air and laugh. “I’m not concerned about organizational security. I’m concerned about my survival. Elena died because your enemies wanted to hurt you. Am I next just because you can’t let go of your guilt?”

The question hits its target, and Andrei’s hands still on the dresser. When he looks at me, his ice-blue eyes carry a hurt that makes my chest ache despite my anger.

“Every day, I wake up knowing that caring about me destroyed an innocent woman and an unborn child. Every day, I wonder if I’m selfish enough to risk that happening again.” His voice drops to a whisper. “And every day, I discover that apparently, I am that selfish.”

“Because you married me.”

“Because I can’t seem to stop loving women who could be destroyed because of who I am. I don’t believe Katarina will harm you, but you very well could die for the same reason Elena did, along with any children we might have.”

The mention of potential children sends ice through my veins as I realize the scope of what I’ve gotten myself into. “You think history will repeat itself.”

“I think loving me is the most dangerous thing a woman can do, and I’m apparently too much of a monster to care.

” Andrei’s reflection in the window looks like a man contemplating his damnation.

“Elena made me promise to protect Katarina, but she should have made me promise never to love anyone else.”

“Would you have honored that promise?”

“For eight years, all I felt for other women was physical attraction.” He turns from the window to face me. “Then I met you, and all those carefully constructed lies fell apart.”

“What lies?”

“The lie that I could live without love. The lie that I could protect someone by keeping them at an emotional distance. That I could stop being the kind of man who destroys everything he touches.” Andrei approaches me slowly.

“You make me want things I have no right to want, Maya. Things that will probably get you killed.”

I swallow hard and resist the urge to slide my hands up his chest when he stops in front of me. “Things like what?”

“Things like waking up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives and watching you grow round with my children and knowing they’re safe because I’m strong enough to protect them. Like believing that love is worth the risk of losing everything.”

The longing in his voice makes my throat tight, and I send my line of sight to the floor. “And what if loving you really is a death sentence, not for me, but for you?”

“Then I’ll spend whatever time we have making sure you know you were worth dying for.” His hand moves to cup my face with devastating gentleness. “Though I plan to keep you alive long enough to prove that some love stories don’t end in tragedy.”

“What if she retaliates? What if she decides that if she can’t have you, no one can?”

“Then she’ll discover that threatening you is the fastest way to lose everything she values. Including her life.”

I look up at him then, stunned. “You’d kill Elena’s sister?”

“I’d kill anyone who threatens what belongs to me, regardless of their connection to my past. Elena’s dying wish doesn’t extend to protecting Katarina from the consequences of betraying me.”

As I look into his eyes and see genuine love mixed with terror, I realize that my jealousy about Katarina was just the surface of something much deeper. I’m not just competing with a dead woman’s memory or her sister’s obsession.

I’m competing with Andrei’s belief that he’s cursed to destroy everyone he loves, and that might be the most dangerous opponent of all.