Page 16

C arson opened his apartment door and quietly slipped inside. Once the door closed behind him, he flipped on a light and stared at his place. For some reason, it felt different .

It doesn’t feel like home anymore.

The entire drive home, he’d ignored the desire to turn around and go back. It had screamed inside his head, his body aching with every mile put between them.

“I’m armed! Get out of my house!”

Carson frowned until Deidre came running out, a long chef’s knife clutched in her palm. She paused when she saw Carson and lowered the knife with a sigh of relief. “You scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

Carson stood stock still, unable to speak for some reason.

“You’re back early.” Deidre cocked her head to the side, looking him over. “Are you okay?”

Carson dropped his backpack to the floor and slowly lowered into the nearest chair. His body ached, particularly in one certain spot, but all over. But he’d asked for that… he’d asked it to burn. Only now it did and he wasn’t with them for them to make it all feel better.

“Car? You’re scaring me again. What’s going on?”

“The mountain wasn’t what I expected.”

Deidre placed the knife on an end table and sat down on the coffee table in front of his chair. She spied him for a moment. “You look exhausted.”

“I am .” It had only been a few days but felt like a lifetime. A brand-new life. He scanned the apartment he’d lived in for years… and it felt… wrong. He didn’t belong there.

Deidre grinned wryly. “I missed you.”

Carson harrumphed. “No you didn’t.”

“I did. I really did. As soon as you were out the door, I second-guessed myself. You really are the greatest guy I know. They don’t make them like you anymore.”

Deidre slipped from the table and onto his lap.

Carson stiffened, not expecting her sudden move. “What’re you doing, Deidre?”

Deidre grasped his face with both her hands and lowered her lips to his.

Her touch felt… wrong, too. Carson stiffened, allowing her to kiss him… hoping it would feel more familiar and wipe away all those taboo touches he’d experienced at Royce and Jared’s hands. Only it made him realize how much he craved them and more of those caresses.

He pulled back and stared up at her, incredulous. “You said you were done. That we were done.”

“I was wrong,” she whispered. “I love you, Carson.”

Carson closed his eyes, her words clawing at him. He didn’t feel anything for her. Not in the way she wanted, anyway.

Had he ever?

Had she said all those things before he’d left for the mountain, he might’ve been thrilled. He would’ve allowed her back in, just because it was easy.

A life with Royce and Jared wouldn’t be.

Yet that was where he wanted to be.

Carson looked around the apartment, a home that was no longer a home. Maybe in a few days or a few weeks, he’d forget about the pair waiting for him on the mountain and home would feel like home again. “I’m tired, Deidre. I need a shower and to sleep for two or three days.”

“What happened there?”

Carson shook his head. “You’d never believe me.”

She rose and offered him a hand. He took it, knowing there would be nothing but sleep for them.

He clung to the memory of what they had, desperate to return to being the same man he’d been just days before.

After turning off the light in the living room, he followed her into their bedroom, one they’d shared for years.

It all felt wrong.

After slipping through the bedroom, he entered the tiny bathroom.

He took off his clothes and started the shower.

Once inside, he washed off the mud and the remnants of the two men who’d been inside him.

When he was done and dried off, he walked out into the bedroom, the half-light coming from the hallway’s nightlight.

Carson crawled between his sheets, clad only in a fresh pair of briefs.

Deidre moved closer beside him and cuddled next to him.

“I missed this so much,” she whispered, pressing a kiss against his neck.

He didn’t respond, just squeezed her arm for a moment. Carson stared up as the lights from passing cars arced into his room and made shadows along the ceilings and walls. Deidre’s breathing grew deeper as she drifted into sleep.

The gnawing ache kept him awake. Worse than ever, it ate at him, demanding he satisfy the longing.

As the hours passed, he couldn’t find sleep.

His mind kept thinking of the men he left behind.

Of the chance he passed on because he couldn’t accept what his heart and soul already did.

He, Royce, and Jared were three pieces of a puzzle, and without them, he wasn’t complete.

Never would be.

Carson awoke the following morning, the feel of a hand sliding up and down his thickening cock.

My bears.

When his eyes fluttered open he realized it wasn’t either of them. His head rolled to the side to see a smiling, naked Deidre doing her best to get him hard and ready for her. His underwear was gone. He was just as naked as she was.

“Don’t you think this is a little soon?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Her hand no longer felt right on his body. He wanted to shove her away, make her stop touching him.

As soon as he’d realized it was her, and not his shifters, his cock began to deflate. His body apparently wasn’t his own anymore.

It was theirs.

An ache settled in his chest as he stared up at the ceiling.

I belong there.

With them.

Deidre ignored his question and was still doing her best to get him hard, quickening her pace when he only grew softer. After a moment, she was hurting him, so he gripped her wrist and forced her to stop.

“I’ve never known you to refuse sex,” she said, her tone and expression showing she felt stung by his denial.

He stared at her and brought her hand up to his lips. He pressed a kiss to the back of it before smiling wanly at her. “You were right all along. We’re done. We have been for a long time. You don’t want me any more than I want you.”

Deidre straddled him and rubbed her wet pussy along his shaft, smearing her juices and her scent on him. The wrong scent. “Does this feel like I don’t want you?”

She leaned down and forced a kiss to his lips. He pushed her back some and broke the kiss. Once they parted, he could see the question in her eyes.

“It’s over, Deidre. It’s over, and we can’t do this.”

“You came to our bed last night. You held me in your arms as we slept. It felt so good to be back in those strong arms. We can do this. We can make it work.”

“What’s with this sudden change?” Just days before she’d said she met someone. Someone who could make her happy. “Where’s this new man of yours? The one who makes you smile?”

She looked away, a pained look on her face. “He was flirting with me to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. When I learned the truth, I realized what I had with you. What I’d let slip through my fingers. I can’t let go of that, Carson. You’re one of the good ones.”

She ran back to me? No. “It’s too late…”

Deidre frowned at him. “Just two days ago, you wanted to work on things up at the cabin. That’s why you came home, isn’t it?

You couldn’t stand to be alone up there…

without me.” She smiled as she spread her palms along his chest and rolled her hips, trying to tempt him with a body that, before the weekend, would’ve robbed him of his sanity.

Deidre had always used sex as a weapon. And he’d always succumbed.

Until now.

He rolled her off him and heard a knock on the door.

“Ignore it,” she whispered, trying to pull him close again.

Carson climbed out of bed, glad for the diversion. Deidre wasn’t taking no for an answer, but she had to. He wouldn’t grow hard for her. For anyone else either, he feared. He’d been claimed, bound to two bears, and he knew it now more than ever.

Why did I leave?

He pulled on his robe before padding to the front door. As he walked, he felt the ache diminish. He rested a palm against the back of the door, suddenly knowing down to his bones his bears were behind it.

The knock came again, and he knew for sure Royce and Jared were there, come to take him home. He whipped opened the door and saw he’d been right. The two glared at him, filling up the entire doorway with their large bodies.

“Hi,” he said, his voice cracking. The greeting lacked vigor. He didn’t know what to say to them after he’d run away.

“Who is it?” Deidre asked, coming from the bedroom clad only in a little nightie.

Jared growled, and Royce pushed through the door and pinned Carson to the wall. He scented Carson, and rage filled his stare.

“You slept with her?” Royce asked, incredulous.

Jared strode through the front door and slammed it behind him, glaring at Deidre.

“Who are these guys?” Deidre asked, frowning. “Should I call the cops, Carson?”

She lifted the phone, staring between Jared and Royce.

He lifted a hand. “No, don’t call the cops. Everything’s fine.”

“Who are they?” Deidre demanded.

“His husbands,” Jared snapped at her.

“Husbands?” Deidre asked, he gaze flying to Carson’s.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Royce said, pinning Carson with his stare. “You slept with someone else?”

“I didn’t sleep with her. Well, I did sleep with her, but we didn’t have sex.”

“Carson!” Deidre yelled. “What the hell is going on here? Husbands?”

Royce leaned in and scented him again. “Then why do I smell pussy on you?”

“I woke up, and she was on me. I didn’t do anything.”

“Carson, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m calling the cops and getting these thugs out of our apartment,” Deidre snapped.

Jared stalked over and ripped the phone from her hand. “Not a good idea.”

Carson knew he needed to defuse the situation, and let his bears know he was theirs. “I know who I belong to.”

Royce’s expression softened a bit as he stared down. Jared turned and caught Carson’s gaze for a moment before he eyed Royce.

Carson ran his hands up Royce’s chest and up to the man’s face. Capturing it, he rose up on his feet to kiss the shifter’s firm lips. Slowly Royce kissed Carson back, taking over the embrace as he wrapped his arms around Carson’s body.

“You’re gay?” Deidre shrieked. “Wait a minute. No. You’re not gay. We lived together for two years, and you’re definitely not gay.”

“It’s not a matter of gender. He belongs to us. We belong to him,” Jared answered her. “You aren’t in the equation.”

Deidre glared at Jared and turned to stare at Carson again. “Carson, what the hell is going on?”

He wanted to be alone with his bears. She was ruining their moment.

“I’m sorry, Deidre. But I met someone. Two someones. This is who I belong with. I know that now.”

Deidre stood there silent, shock covering her face as she stared back at them.

Carson spun to face his mates. “I never should’ve left the mountain.”

“Damned straight you shouldn’t have. Let’s pack your things,” Royce commanded.

Carson smiled, eager to obey.

“You’re just going to leave with these two guys?”

“Well, as you heard—they’re my husbands.”

Without giving her time to argue, Carson headed for the bedroom and pulled on the first items of clothing he found in his drawers.

After dressing and slipping his feet into his trainers, he hauled his luggage from the closet.

He filled it with everything he could think of he’d need for the next couple of weeks.

There was time to come back and shutter the place and give up the apartment later he guessed.

He was in a rush to go home. The extras weren’t important.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Deidre asked, appearing more and more frazzled as she watched him rush around the bedroom. She didn’t understand what was happening. Hell, Carson barely understood it, but he knew this was what he needed to do.

“I’m going to go live on Bear Mountain.”

“With your two lumberjack husbands? Come on, Carson, this isn’t you.”

“Oh, it is me. I learned that over the weekend. I didn’t want it to be true, but coming home, I knew this wasn’t where I belonged. When you touched me, I wanted it to be their hands, not yours.”

Deidre’s mouth opened wide in shock. “You’re not gay, Carson. Not even close. I’ve never seen you look twice at a hot guy. And I’ve tried butt play with you and you refused.”

“I refused… you.”

“Those guys are huge. Trust me, it’s gonna hurt when they fuck you.”

Carson stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Deidre.

He needed to stop her prattling for good.

“You’re right. I’m not gay. I’ve never been attracted to a man or even considered sleeping with one.

But for those two guys out there, it’s all I can think about.

Jared was right. It’s not about gender. I simply want them . Only them.”

“You go away for two days and walk out on your entire life to go live up on Bear Mountain with two men? I don’t buy it, Carson.”

“I don’t care if you buy it or not. I’m going. And you’re right, it does hurt when two big men fuck your ass. It hurts sooo good.”

Deidre was silent, her eyes wide as she stared at him in shock.

He went back to packing his bag, no time for her questioning his decision. His mind was set. He wouldn’t live with the ache of loneliness, the ache those two men seemed to ease.

“I need a place to stay, maybe I could sublet?” Deidre asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Sublet?” Carson asked, pausing and staring at her, feeling a little stunned. “Was this what you trying to get back into my bed was about?”

Deidre shrugged. “Rent is expensive here. I couldn’t find anyone who’d let me crash on a couch until I found a roommate. It was you or the street.”

“You could’ve simply asked to share the apartment for a while instead of trying to seduce me.

But then, you always did use your body to get your way.

Unfortunately for you, this time it isn’t going to work.

” Carson shook his head, surprised to see this side of her.

“You can stay for thirty days, but after that, you need to find some other schmuck to leech off.”

He snapped his suitcase closed after a quick trip into the bathroom for more toiletries. Jared stood at the door and took it from him, after glaring at Deidre one last time. “Ready?” he asked, staring down at Carson.

“In one minute. I need my laptop, PC, and files.”

Carson headed down the hallway and into his office.

Quickly dismantling his computer, he put the pieces in an empty crate he pulled from under his desk.

He tossed whatever was important into his laptop bag and tossed it over his shoulder and lifted the crate in his arms. Heading back into the living room, he took one last look around before turning to his bears.

“Carson!” Deidre tried to get his attention one last time.

He ignored her. Staring up at Royce, he smiled. “Take me home.”

Royce grinned widely before lowering to kiss Carson’s lips.

“My pleasure.”