Page 7 of Boudicca

“The gods were good for guiding you here early,” I said to Derwyn.

“The goddess Andraste spoke through Rhan. Her compulsion to arrive early was so great she would not let us rest.”

Compulsion... The resonance of the word reverberated through my mind as I watched the Druids of the highest rank begin to gently tend to

the bodies of the Iceni. They wore plaited mistletoe belts and robes of all three colors, blue, green, and brown, woven together

in a muted plaid.

Derwyn followed my gaze. His deep voice was thick with sadness. “I fear you have many bodies that will need preparation for

the pyre.”

I nodded. “The elders tried to protect me and hold off the Romans so the young mothers and children could escape. There are

bodies throughout the village.”

Derwyn’s eyes caught my gaze. “Where are your warriors?”

“They are at the spring games. There they sport and trade with the Trinovantes. There were only a little over a score of warriors

remaining in Tasceni. All of them except one member of my guard perished.”

“This slaughter happened because your warriors were absent,” Rhan said.

“That is only part of why,” I said darkly. “But there will be time for that explanation later.”

“I will send a bard south along the Trade Road to bring the Iceni home,” Derwyn began, and then his gaze sharpened as he searched the forest around them. “You said it was the procurator who led the Romans? Why did they not meet the Iceni and Tribe Trinovantes on the Trade Road? Camulodunum is the Roman capital, and it is south of the spring games in Catuvellauni lands. They should have crossed paths with your warriors on the way here.”

“The Romans did not come by land. They came by water from the river through the fen, arriving with a thick fog,” I explained.

Derwyn’s brow creased. “Something feels wrong about this attack. The Romans usually travel by the roads they so meticulously

lay, not by water.”

Rhan spoke abruptly. “Send someone to the fen.”

“You won’t find the Romans anywhere near. Decianus spoke clearly of his eagerness to leave, and his intent to return at harvest,”

I said.

“It is not a Roman you should seek,” said Rhan.

Derwyn motioned to a blue-robed Druid, who hurried to him and bowed respectfully.

“Take our fleetest horse and go south down the Trade Road to the grounds of the spring games. Tell the Iceni of this tragedy

and bring them home.”

“As you ask, so will I do.” The bard hurried back to the horses and wagons that were grouped at the edge of the tree line.

“Gar!” Derwyn called.

A brown-robed Druid approached. I recognized him instantly as an Iceni tribesman who had left our tribe to train with the

Druids at the isle of Ynys M?n just before Ceri’s birth. He was just one of many familiar faces among the Druids. All of the

tribes sent those who showed aptitude for communing with nwyfre, the life force that runs through every living thing, to Ynys

M?n. If accepted, they entered the lengthy training that marks the life of a Druid. They no longer held allegiance to a single

tribe and instead were allied with the gods and goddesses, but that didn’t mean they lost their memory of their first home.

Gar’s cheeks were wet with tears he did nothing to hide. He bowed to Derwyn and then inclined his head to me respectfully

as well.

“Queen Boudicca, this day fills me with sorrow,” he said.

I nodded, finding it difficult to speak.

“Gar, you recall how to get safely through the fen, do you not?” Derwyn asked.

“I do. I was raised here in Tasceni.”

“Go then, and bring to me anyone you find there,” commanded Derwyn.

“As you ask, so will I do.” Gar turned to head off through the field to the east and the river Tas.

A shiver of premonition made my body go cold and I allowed my intuition to form words. “Gar, blend with the fen and the bogs.

Do not let yourself be seen. The person you seek must be surprised if he is to be captured.”

Gar nodded. “Easily done, Queen Boudicca.”

I stared after Gar, wondering silently what the Druid would find in the swampy grounds that flanked Tasceni, until Derwyn’s

voice pulled my attention back.

“Where are your daughters?”

“The lodge, with the only Queen’s Guard who survived, though she was gravely wounded. I will show you there. I must return

to them. My daughters are not—” I paused as my voice began to break. I drew a deep breath, cleared my throat, and continued.

“I am afraid if I am not there when you and the healers enter the lodge they will—” My voice cracked again. I pressed my lips

together as grief strangled my words.

Rhan gently touched my arm. “We understand, as will the healers.”

“Indeed we do,” said Derwyn. He raised his voice, calling out to two women and a man who immediately joined them. “Glain,

Adara, Conway—come with us and bring your baskets. The queen’s daughters are in the lodge.”

“There will be more wounded hiding at the barrows, and along the way if they were too badly injured to make it there,” I said.

Derwyn nodded and added, “Glain, take the wagon and several of the horses. Choose a few of the other healers to join you.

Make your way to the Chief’s Barrow to tend to the wounded and bring the Iceni home.”

“As you ask, so will I do.”

Relief washed through me. The Druids would gather my people and bring them back to me.

“We will attend your daughters and the warrior at the lodge,” Derwyn continued. “And my seers will see to the washing and

preparation of the dead, as well as begin building the funeral pyre.” Several Druids nodded. More spirit than flesh, they

melted off into the village to collect and care for the dead.

“Thank you.” Anger rekindled within me. “Build the pyre here, in the middle of the practice field around the stake where the

Roman tied me. Tear apart the hut. Use it for kindling.” I made a cutting gesture at it. “It was there that my daughters were

brutalized. It should burn.”

“It will be as you say,” said the high Druid.

“Derwyn, may I have permission to remain with Boudicca?” Rhan asked.

The high Druid studied her carefully before nodding. Then the four Druids walked the macabre path through the village with

me. This time I forced myself to look at every corpse that lay still and cold—and as I did I repeated each name silently,

memorizing the dead. You will be avenged , I promised each of them.

I had closed the huge double wooden doors as I’d left the lodge, and when I opened them I called within, “Enfys, Ceri, healers

and old friends have come to aid us.”

The hearthfire was blazing, and in the short time I had been with the Druids, Briallen had lit the thick pillar candles spun

from beeswax and scented with lavender that Arianell had loved so much. Light and fragrance combined, and for a moment I almost

expected to hear Mother greet us warmly.

Instead Ceri’s hysterical shriek echoed from the curved walls.

“No! Make the men leave! Make them leave! Make them leave!”

She and Enfys were wrapped in thick woolen blankets. They had been seated before the hearthfire drying their hair, but the

moment Derwyn and the male healer, Conway, entered the lodge, they stood so abruptly that the bench on which they sat toppled

over. They darted behind Briallen, clutching the warrior’s tunic. Enfys whimpered and Ceri cried with terror. The sound of

their fear almost broke me.

Derwyn’s voice was ineffably sad as he backed slowly out of the door, taking the male healer with him. “Conway and I shall wait outside.”

I nodded, already hurrying to my daughters. Rhan and Adara followed more slowly.

“Little loves, it is only Derwyn and one of his healers. You remember Derwyn. He has been here often,” I said soothingly as

I coaxed the girls out from behind Briallen.

“No men, no men, no men, no men.” Ceri refused to move as she repeated the two words over and over.

The healer, Adara, crouched before the girls. Her auburn hair was streaked with gray and her eyes matched the dark green of

her ovate robes. “The Romans have gone, fawns. No man here will harm you. I am a healer. I attended your mother for each of

your births, and what a blessing those days were. The queen was so happy and your father so proud.”

Enfys spoke solemnly. “We do not remember that.”

“No, of course you do not. It is my job to remember, just as it is my job to help you heal. Will you let me help you?”

Enfys nodded, and after only a brief hesitation Ceri did so as well.

“Take them into Mother’s chamber and close the curtain,” I said.

Adara stood and held out her hands for the girls to take, but as she began leading them to Arianell’s chamber, Ceri dug her

heels into the rushes and pulled her to stop. She turned to face me.

“I want you to come with us.”

I steeled myself. More than anything I wanted to retreat into my mother’s bedchamber with my girls, crawl into the bed, which

still smelled of rosemary, hold them close, and never, ever let anyone harm them again.

But I was not just their mother. I was also their queen.

“I want that as well, but I must see to the rest of our tribe,” I said solemnly.

“Then I will stay with you,” said Ceri stubbornly.

“You cannot, little dove,” I said. “You must let the healer tend you, and I must get on with the business of leading our tribe.”

Enfys spoke up. “If you cannot be with us, then Briallen must come.”

“The warrior has been wounded as well.” The healer spoke up. “Perhaps she should join us so that I might tend to her.” Then

she met my gaze steadily. “The girls will sleep soon.”

“Yes, Mama. Briallen must stay with us while we sleep,” Ceri insisted. “She will protect us.”

I nodded my permission and Briallen went to the girls. She took Ceri’s hand in hers. “Always, bonny lassies. I will always

protect you.”

The children, walking as stiffly as the battered warrior, went through the heavy pelt curtain to the queen mother’s chamber

with the healer, who closed it securely behind them.

I thought my heart might shatter.

“They will heal.” Rhan’s voice was almost inaudible, but I could hear the tears in it.

“Their bodies will. It is the damage to their minds I most fear.”

“If you allow it, I will meditate on how to help them heal completely,” said Rhan.

I nodded as my childhood friend and I made our way back to the entrance to the lodge. “Thank you. I will gladly accept your

help.” Derwyn was there, alone, waiting just outside the wide wooden doors. He stared at the darkening sky as if the answers

of the universe could be found there.

“Are the girls calmer now?”

“They’re with Adara. Briallen, the warrior from my guard, won’t leave them. It gives them comfort. Please, you are welcome

in my lodge.”

Derwyn did not enter. Instead he spoke solemnly. His next words shook me to my soul. “I understand it has been too much too

fast—losing husband and mother and the elders of your tribe within three short months.”

He put a heavy hand on my shoulder, and I suddenly felt small and weak as his sorrow and compassion cooled my anger.

Derwyn continued. “But you must put aside your grief. The Iceni need you desperately. You are their stability.”

“And only you can fulfill the curse,” Rhan added.

The screams of my daughters lifted easily from my memory. I thought they would always be there, waiting so close to the surface of my mind that they would shadow the rest of my life. I heard their screams anew and let rage burn through my grief. “I will make Decianus and his soldiers pay.”

“Your curse shall be fulfilled. Decianus will be punished,” Derwyn said slowly. “But do not be blinded by lust for vengeance.

The men who violated your daughters and killed your people were not Decianus’s men. Like the procurator’s power, they were

only borrowed from your true enemy, Gaius Suetonius Paulinus, named governor by the Romans.”

“I remember Paulinus from the signing of the treaty,” I said. “I told Prasutagus he had eyes that looked dead.”

Derwyn nodded. “An apt description. It is that dead-eyed governor who commands the Romans who infest our country.” His voice

deepened with anger. “Our people have begun living in constant fear. Romans tax us beyond reason so that we, the people who tend this land , starve while our invaders grow fat. They desecrate our shrines and build temples to their foreign gods.” His gaze met mine.

“They must be stopped. Paulinus must be defeated. It is to him the new Iceni queen must look for true vengeance.”

“Derwyn, I have no experience leading warriors into battle!” As I blurted the words I felt the weight of the golden symbol

of leadership that rested unseen within the pouch still slung across my body, as if it were made of sorrow and not gold.

“The gods care nothing for your battle experience. They care for your heart, for your spirit, and for the bravery and wisdom

that fill both,” said Rhan.

“If the warriors acknowledge you as their queen, it matters not at all whether you have led them into battle once, a hundred

times, or never,” Derwyn said. “As your husband already taught you, gain the support of the warriors and you have gained the

tribe.”

“But how do I do that? I could not stop the Romans. Decianus flogged me, and he is a weak little man. I watched them slaughter grandmothers and grandfathers and could do nothing.” Though the words disgusted me, I felt a great sense of relief in spitting them out.

“No single warrior could have stood alone against Roman soldiers—not even the most experienced of them,” Derwyn said.

“You could have thrown your life away fighting the Romans. Instead you chose to live. You chose to survive. You made the right

choice.” Rhan eerily echoed the words of Andraste.

“Rhan speaks wisdom. Your survival will give your people hope,” said Derwyn.

“It will give them more than hope,” said Rhan. “It will give them a focus for their anger, and the power of that anger is

what will fulfill your curse.” The ovate reached out and tapped me once on the center of my forehead. “Speak it, Queen Boudicca!”

Heat blossomed through my head, permanently etching into my memory the curse that had lifted from my soul to Andraste’s ravens

and to the goddess herself.

“Catus Decianus, procurator of the emperor Nero, I curse you and every man here. For taking my mother’s life and violating

my daughters, you will know the fire of Brigantia. For what you have done to the Iceni, you will know the vengeance of Andraste. Your homes will burn. Your women will burn. Your children will burn. You will all—every one of you—suffer more than my daughters

and my tribe. You will cry out for mercy and you will be shown none, because, Caius Decianus, through my blood and with my

goddess-blessed breath, I have cursed you unto death!”

I blinked and scrubbed a hand across my face when I finished. I felt strange, as if I had just surfaced after a deep dive

into cold waters. “Andraste was listening. Of that I have no doubt.”

“Then do not doubt your goddess! She found you worthy to lead the Iceni now , not at some future date when you are a more experienced warrior,” said Rhan.

Derwyn nodded. “Remember that when you face your people. And now I will leave you to ready yourself.”

“Ready myself? The warriors are more than half a day away. Even riding hard, they will not be here before dawn.”

“Derwyn means to ready yourself to face your people. The mothers and young ones will return soon, and they will need you to look and act like a queen.”

I glanced down at my simple tunic. It was not the right time to wear my husband’s torque, but the Druids were correct. Discovering

that their elders had been killed and their royal family attacked would be devastating. My people would need comfort, and

I must give them that.

I lifted my chin. “I will wash and change my clothes.”

“I will help see to the dead,” said the high Druid.

“Derwyn, I would ask a favor.” As I spoke, the words lifted through my veins and pounded through my heart. “Let us not wait

the traditional three days before lighting the funeral pyre. Let us light the pyre tomorrow on Beltane.”

Derwyn nodded in approval. “On Beltane the veil between Arbred and Annwn will be thin.”

“The Iceni dead can join Andraste in Annwn for the Beltane feast. It will be joyous for them,” said Rhan.

“My mother’s patron goddess is fiery Brigantia. We must build a pyre so great that Brigantia herself will see it in the Otherworld,”

I added.

“The Druids will make it so,” said Derwyn.

“I, too, will leave you to prepare for your people.” Rhan turned to Derwyn. “Do I have your permission to anoint Arianell’s

body?”

Derwyn paused, and I knew why. The consecration of the body of the mother of a queen would normally be left to the senior-most

Druid—Derwyn himself.

Derwyn’s gaze shifted to me. “I leave that decision to the queen.”

Instead of answering Derwyn, I spoke directly to Rhan. “When I returned to the Iceni after the five years I fostered with

your family, Mother often said how grateful she was that I had found a sister with the Trinovantes. I believe she would also

be grateful that you were the one preparing her for the pyre.”

“As you ask, so will she do,” said Derwyn.

Rhan wiped away a tear, and then she followed the tall, white-robed man from the lodge and into the encroaching dusk.