Page 36 of Bordeaux Bombshell (Sunshine Cellars #3)

Sydney

I’m suspicious.

I spent my time in Boston preparing to sit through all the wedding events while hiding my feelings. Worst case, I was prepared to ignore any digs Nate made at me and bite my tongue to keep from sniping back.

Lauren and I spent hours talking about my options.

If I should stay in Portland or look for somewhere fresh to start over.

We dissected whether I could even rightfully call him my ex.

I said no since we were never officially together, and Lauren said yes because the trading of orgasms counts as some kind of situationship, no matter what.

In truth, the time they spent out there with me felt almost like therapy bootcamp. Or anger detox. I’m emotionally exhausted from picking apart every aspect of my feelings and working through my anger. And I have an appointment to see my new therapist again next week.

Instead of making digs at me, Nate’s acting as if I never left. Since I walked in the door at the rehearsal dinner tonight, he’s been funny, thoughtful, and courteous.

He’s acting the way I’ve seen when he thinks I’m not there. Except I am here. And he knows it, because Maggie had the brilliant idea of seating us next to each other at this dinner.

“Do you want some more?” Nate holds a carafe of water near my glass.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” I’ve been tripping over my words all night, confused by the lack of irritation in his tone. “Thanks,” I add.

I know I was planning to be charming and polite, but with him also being nice, it feels like we’re playing pretend. Like I’m wearing shoes a size too small, and any minute now, someone is going to call a time-out so we can be normal for a minute.

Except, I kind of like how not angry I am right now. It would be nice to stay that way.

Maggie and Kel are wandering from table to table, chatting with people—well, Maggie is chatting, and Kel is smiling at her like a dummy—while the rest of us finish eating. My mom keeps glancing from Nate to me, then leaning over to whisper in Jackie’s ear.

The other “favor” Maggie did was seat the two of us with our parents, as well as Maggie’s mom and dad. I guess she hoped we would be on our best behavior around the real adults.

“How was Boston, Sydney?” Greg asks, leaning across the table to take the carafe from Nate. “You missed some beautiful weather here.”

“I heard. Boston was good. I did a lot of sightseeing in the city. Hung out with Lauren and Alfie once they got there.”

Greg smiles when Jackie rests a hand on his shoulder. “Glad to hear it. We missed you on Mother’s Day. Had a big event at the Ridge.”

“You just missed her being there to help run it, Dad,” Nate interrupts. “Sydney always was the best at making the charcuterie boards.”

My mouth dries up. Was that a compliment? “You mean I’m the fastest. Mother’s Day has always been the day we sell the most.”

“That’s because those kids know what’s best for them is taking their mom out for a nice afternoon in the vineyard. Actually—” Jackie turns to Nate. “I was talking to Sophie the other day, and—”

“Not just the fastest. The best.” Nate cuts his mom off, squeezing my thigh and distracting me from Jackie.

“Hey Dad, I was thinking it might be time to give the website a refresh.” He doesn’t let go of my thigh, his thumb brushing along the outside and sending shivers down my spine.

“I was thinking we should hire Sydney to look it over and spruce it up.”

Warning bells ring in my mind, but I can’t figure out if it’s from the conversation or Nate’s fingers drifting along my skin. “You know I’d do it for free, guys,” I croak out, my mouth gone dry. I snatch my water goblet and gulp half of it down.

“Nonsense.” Greg waves me off. “You tell me what your normal rates are, and we’ll work it out with Sutton.”

Jackie opens her mouth to speak, but my mom cuts her off this time. “Jackie, come with me. I need to go check on the kids.” Without waiting for a reply, Mom pulls Jackie out of her chair and down to the kids’ table, where Olive is holding court.

Before I can ask what’s going on, Nate leans close, his neatly trimmed beard tickling my cheek. “You okay?”

“I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. Be normal.” My whisper is harsh, but he just grins.

“I am being normal.”

I roll my eyes, then lean closer as a server comes by to clear our plates. “No you’re not. You’re being far too…”

“Pleasant?” he offers. The hand on my thigh moves, sliding down toward my knee, then over to the inside of my leg. The knee-length hem of my dress rides up with the motion, and I gasp.

Shifting in my seat, I pull my leg out of reach before whispering in his ear. “Stop it, you Neanderthal.”

He chuckles, then drops his arm over the back of my chair, letting his fingers dance across the exposed skin of my shoulder. “There you are. I was wondering when the real Sydney was going to show up. I was afraid you left her behind in Boston.”

“The real me?” No one is paying attention to us anymore, so I turn my body to face Nate. “What’s that supposed to mean? Is the real me not polite and able to carry on a normal conversation?”

He shrugs. “The real you is absolutely able to do it. Just seems like you haven’t been able to do it in my presence for the last few years.”

Maggie floats up to the table, eyes and skin glowing as she pulls Kel along behind her. “I’m so glad you guys are here.” Letting go of Kel, who moves to stand beside Nate, Maggie pulls me out of my seat and into a bone-crushing hug.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Over her shoulder, I make eye contact with my brother. The smile on his face is so genuine, my heart swells in my chest. As soon as Maggie lets go, I grab him and pull him into a hug of my own.

“I’m so happy for you, Kel. You deserve only the best, and you got it in her.” There’s a lump in my throat and tears gathering in the corners of my eyes, but I keep myself under control.

“You do, too, Syd.” His quiet words accent the quick squeeze he gives me. Letting go, he slaps a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “How’s my best man?”

Weird emphasis on that word, but I brush it off, taking a second to catch my breath by admiring the knee-length white dress Maggie is wearing. The lace material hugs her waist, and tiny embroidered blue flowers line the sleeves and hem. She looks positively radiant.

“He’s being perfectly tolerable tonight.”

Maggie grins at my words.

“But who cares about him? You look gorgeous, and I’m so happy and excited for you guys. Is everything ready for tomorrow?”

Kel chuckles, pulling Maggie against him. Even if I didn’t genuinely like Maggie, I’d love her for the light she brought back into Kel’s life.

After he and June split up, he shut down hard.

The only person who could get him to smile was Olive.

Nursing through the pandemic had turned him into a shell of a man—when June left him for Shelby, I thought he would never recover.

We, my parents and I, thought spending a few months working and living out at Sunshine would be good for him, get him outside and doing something new.

But when the months dragged into years and he sank further and further into his reclusive state, we worried.

I tried to convince him to move on several times, but he was adamant that he needed to stay.

That someone needed to take Nate’s place.

It was one more strike against the man standing next to me, close enough that his shoulder bumps into mine while he chats with Kel.

“You know, it used to make me so mad that Kel was stuck out at Sunshine because someone was off gallivanting through Europe,” I start. Kel and Nate shut up at my words, both looking at me with wide eyes. “You being gone made it easy for him to hide out there, away from the world.”

Nate opens his mouth, but I cut him off.

“It’s true, and you know it. But if he hadn’t stayed, he wouldn’t have met Maggie.

” I smile, and I swear both men release a breath.

A satisfied glow warms my heart that they were worried about what I was going to say.

Just because I’m trying to be less angry doesn’t mean I’m going to let them get away with their shit.

“So even though I still think it wasn’t okay, I’m glad it worked out and led to Maggie joining the family.” I pause to fight the sudden lump in my throat. Swallowing hard, I pull Maggie back in for another hug. “I always wanted to trade him in for a big sister instead.”

Maggie laughs, sounding a little teary. “I’m so glad he was at Sunshine that day to grouch at me for wandering off into his vines.

I can’t imagine my life without him. And I’m so happy to have you as a sister.

With Ophie in South Carolina now and Daisy in Seattle, I need someone nearby for the occasional girls’ night. ”

A girls’ night. Words that used to fill me with feelings of inadequacy. But not anymore.

The warm bubble in my chest only grows when she and Kel move off to greet someone behind us.

My arms are dangling awkwardly at my side, brushing against Nate’s.

There’s something heavy about what words I say next, like if I say the wrong thing, I’ll bring this pleasant evening crashing down around us.

I open my mouth to comment on something inane, when Nate grabs my upper arms, turning me to face him.

“I shouldn’t have left like I did. I shouldn’t have left you the way I did.

” His sad brown eyes are burning into mine, begging me to finally listen.

“Sydney, I’m so sorry. You deserved so much better than a boy who was too angry to see past his own hurt.

If I had been smart enough to realize that all I needed was the love of my life, I could have saved us so much heartbreak. ”

The rest of the party swirls around us. I should care.

One of the things I realized in talking to Lauren was how embarrassed I’ve been about making a spectacle every time Nate and I meet.

That I didn’t want my whole family to hold their breath anytime we were in the same room, that it only made the whole situation worse.

But spectacle or not, the words I’ve waited seven years to hear ring through my mind.

If he’d said this the moment he came home, would I have been willing to listen? Am I willing to listen now?

I drop my gaze, concentrating on the pattern of his tie—art deco with hunter-green and navy scallops—and take a measured breath before stepping back so he releases me.

“You’re right. I did deserve better. Thank you for the apology.

” I don’t acknowledge the bit about being the love of his life.

I’m not sure I’m ready to claim that. Yet.

“I know it was a long time coming.”

The chagrin in his tone makes me look up.

He’s got one hand behind his neck, rubbing it in a way that reminds me of the boy whose mom would force him to apologize first whenever we got caught roughhousing.

But unlike that boy, this man is looking at me like if I don’t accept his apology, he’s going to be devastated.

My hands find each other and twist together in front of me. Nate’s free hand twitches like he wants to reach for me. And I almost want him to.

He means it. For the first time in years, I feel the sincerity in his words. They sink into me like gentle rain in the spring.

Maybe the difference is me. Maybe the difference is him. Maybe it’s both.

“Does this mean we won’t need to seat you on opposite sides of the reception after all?” Jackie and my mom startle us both, appearing at our side and popping the bubble we’ve been in.

“What?” I ask, blinking away the moment. Nate looks as bewildered as I feel, staring down at our moms.

Jackie grabs my arm, tugging me away. “Never mind. Sorry, Nate, I have to steal your date. We have girl things to discuss.”

I’m dragged across the room by the pair of them, my mom pushing from behind while Jackie pulls. Jesus Christ, what was in their drinks? They’re relentless. “Is everything okay?” My question is ignored as they steer us past tables and into a short hallway near the restrooms.

Jackie drops my arm and turns around, arms crossed and studying me with a serious expression. “You’re coming to the hotel in the morning to get ready with all the other girls, right?”

What? “That’s what you dragged me all the way across the room to ask? Yes, I’m coming over.”

“And you won’t be late? You need to be there at nine a.m. sharp.” My mom pokes me from behind, her arms also crossed and expression serious.

“Yes, I’ll be there by nine, I promise. Seriously, is that all you guys wanted to ask?” Are they trying to piss me off on purpose? Is this a test to see if I react?

Jackie grins, the expression transforming her face. “Did my eyes deceive me, or did you and Nathaniel come to some kind of armistice?”

Behind me, Mom coughs. “Is the Battle of Wills over? Or is this just a temporary ceasefire?”

I shake my head and step sideways so I can see them both at once. “You guys are being overdramatic. We are on our best behavior for Kel and Maggie’s sake.”

“Not for your own?” Jackie tips her head to the side, raking her eyes up and down me like she’s searching for a sign that I’m lying.

I shrug. “Not sure. You interrupted us.” Shifting my weight from side to side, I tamp down on the urge to walk away. But I’m determined not to run from the uncomfortable moments tonight. Because I finally have hope that there might be a different kind of life waiting for me on the other side.

Maybe here. Maybe somewhere else. But no matter what happens now, I refuse to be trapped in the cycle of anger and embarrassment that’s been haunting me for the last two years.

“Don’t tell your father he was right.” Mom grabs Jackie by the elbow. “Seems we were a trifle premature. But we’re still seating you two at the same table tomorrow.”

Jackie laughs. “Rebecca, you make the worst threats. Of course they would be at the same table. All the family is sitting with the bridal party.”

I watch them leave, emotions warring inside me. Do I trust the peace between us, or is Nate putting on a show for everyone? It doesn’t feel like it, but I’ve been wrong before. Should I hope? Or should I hold my breath for the moment it all falls apart again?

All I know for sure is that whatever this is, it feels good.