Page 11 of Booked for Theft (Vigilante Magical Librarians #3)

ELEVEN

“Why don’t we have a fancy litter box for Ajani? I want one.”

Without knowledge, we couldn’t do much more than make tentative plans, book our cruise for late October so we would be out of the country for the election, and wonder how far we would have to go to save our country from itself. Within ten minutes of beginning our booking adventure, we discovered how the government kept most Americans from going abroad.

Somehow, Bradley’s father had arranged for an entire ship to be available for our booking pleasures; in a week, the ship would be opened up for any cabins we didn’t take. According to Mr. Hampton, he knew a line operator, the bigwig of a company, who had three new ships coming into service and was willing to do a pair of transatlantic cruises.

That also explained how we were getting away with bringing our animals.

The cruise ship had a full animal transport facility, and we would be going on a group ride with our horses, participating in a breeding session with our goats, and enjoying the company of our cat in our fancy suite.

Every last one of us had to pay out a ten thousand dollar deposit as return security, money that we would get back on our tax return the following year, assuming we returned to the United States. I spluttered over that, pointing at the laptop screen. “What the hell, Bradley?”

“This policy does a good job of preventing most Americans from leaving the country. Because the funds are used to control illegal immigrations, Americans voted for it with unrepentant glee.” Bradley grabbed his phone, tapped at the screen, and offered it to me.

The article showed limited protest to the removal of international travel for most Americans.

I spewed curses, gave him his phone back, and glared at the booking. “And since we’re doing this as part of our wedding celebrations, the government will believe we aren’t trying to bail if the going gets tough.”

“That’s correct.” Bradley pressed the booking button, which set us back more money than I cared to think about, as our ticket included every unusual animal we intended to bring on board.

Anyone could bring a dog or cat on board, much to my relief.

As we were booking the best suite on the entire ship, we had the most options, including the ability to transport my mother’s ducks, chickens, and geese.

We would be able to enjoy fresh eggs daily, and the cruise was equipped to handle even milking cows.

“This is insanity,” I muttered.

“Mickey and Beatrice, you’re next,” Bradley announced. “Were you able to get in touch with your family members?”

“Mine won’t go,” Mickey replied in a subdued tone. “They have a strong dislike for anyone and anything un-American.”

Beatrice sighed, reached over, and gave his hand a squeeze. “My parents are willing to come on the cruise, as are my sister and her husband. No kids, no pets.”

Within five minutes, Bradley finished their booking, made use of my mother’s printer, and handed over their confirmation number, tax slips, and everything else needed to make plans for the trip.

While it took over an hour, we’d handled our portion of the booking, which left Bradley’s parents to book out the rest of ship for the security employees who would be making the venture. Bradley’s father would need to take care with his approach, and he expected most of his employees would return to the United States as scheduled despite being given a way out through his expansion efforts.

I expected he would need a second ship to make certain everyone could go.

“All right. The first of our plans has been established.” Bradley rubbed his hands together. “Now it’s time for us to put on a show. Janette, I will need you to buy several ball gowns for the cruise. We will be having several fancy parties and dinners on board, and that will give you a chance to spread rumors that we will be planning some festivities as part of our courtship. This is to be expected, and because I’m sentimental, everyone is expecting us to do something elaborate. Taking our friends and family on a cruise to Europe, where we’ll spend over a month going horseback riding and seeing the sights, is absolutely the sort of elaborate expected. Honestly, the cruise is going to be an excellent cover for a lot of our activities moving forward.”

While nobody else knew what we were angling for, I understood how the cruise would benefit us.

The government would never believe that someone running for office would ever leave the country during the final push of the election. By leaving on a ship a week prior, when the final campaign efforts were in full swing, we sent an important message: we were not actually running for office.

In reality, if I were going to be a runaway write-in, my fate would be determined long before election day rolled around. By August or September, I suspected we’d know if we would be making use of the return cruise that cost a small fortune per person.

“Are we handling the bookings for our lodgings in Europe?” I asked, eyeing the laptop as though it might rise up and bite us.

“That is a problem for next week. Should we not be aboard our return cruise, we have accommodations for a while in Spain.”

Dr. Castor.

“What’s next, then?”

“We go shopping, work on the case as we are supposed to as a cell, and put on a damned good show for the government.” Bradley closed the lid. “And that means starting at the beginning, from the first murders, and trying to learn everything we can about the killers and their ploy to bring attention to the government’s machinations.”

“You just like the word machination and wanted an excuse to use it,” I muttered.

“It’s an excellent word, and I fully intend on using it at every opportunity.”

As I couldn’t blame him for that, I eyed Mr. Tawnlen. “Four dogs and a wife, sir?”

My boss grinned at me. “My wife adopts police dog washouts, trains them for another role, and then gives them to people in need. Right now, we have three service dogs in training. The one is an actual washout, and the only thing she is useful for is being loved. That’s an important responsibility in our household, but she’s the first dog my wife has ever encountered that couldn’t be trained for something. We’re at the stage we’re beyond grateful she is potty trained, can sit on command, is gentle natured, and otherwise causes no real problems. She will love her victims to death, but that’s about it.”

“So, she’s trainable enough to be a good pet?”

“She’s an excellent pet,” he confirmed. “Lady Love will be the one we keep in our cabin, assuming we can keep one in our cabin.”

“You should be able to keep all four in your cabin,” Bradley said, and he tapped at the laptop for a few moments. “Yes, I put you into one of the larger cabins because of the number of furry bodies, and the cruise ship’s rule is a cleaning fee should an animal improperly use the facilities. There is a special room for dogs to go on potty walks, and the larger rooms have a special grass box for them to do their business. There is a section of floor that opens up, revealing where your dog can use their facilities without having to head to the dog room.” Bradley stared at the laptop before regarding me with wide eyes. “This is about as fancy as the litter box your mom got for Ajani.”

“Why don’t we have a fancy litter box for Ajani? I want one.”

Bradley laughed. “I’ll order three for us, and we’ll keep the box for one so we can take it on the cruise with us.”

“That is so not fitting in our luggage, Bradley.”

“It doesn’t have to. I’ll arrange for it to be delivered to our cabin, that way, we don’t have as much work to do while on our cruise. Our suite is large enough for the machine.”

“That is not how cruises work, Mr. Hampton!”

“It is when we are booking out the entire cruise ship between our wedding party, our family, our pets, and Dad’s employees.”

I would never understand the excessively rich. “Fine. Maybe it does work like that under these circumstances. But why does Ajani need three?”

“Ajani doesn’t need three, but we are getting a foster fail on Monday,” he reminded me. “We will have a normal litter box for our foster fail until she is big enough to use the litter box safely.”

Right. We were getting a new kitten on Monday. “Okay, I’m a little dumb today.”

“You’re overwhelmed due to the excessive number of animals in our reservation for the cruise.”

I counted cats in my head and frowned, realizing there was one extra. “You put too many cats on the reservation.”

“What if our foster fail has a sister she can’t be separated from, Janette?” he asked, and he faked distress, widening his eyes and attempting to make his lip tremble.

“The rules still apply. The kittens must get along with Ajani.”

“It shall be as you demand.”

“But only two kittens if there is a sister she can’t be separated from. We are not foster failing an entire litter of kittens.”

Bradley’s pout, rather real comparatively, warned me of trouble on the horizon. “No.”

“But Janette!”

“I said no. Two foster fails at an absolute maximum, and only if they get along well with Ajani.” I gestured at our friends, who watched us with amusement. “You may attempt to convince them to join us in foster failing these kittens.”

Mickey held up two fingers. “I’m interested.”

I raised a brow at Beatrice. “And you, ma’am?”

Beatrice giggled. “I’m interested in meeting the candidates. My test of the wares has been going well, and we are prepared to add furry children into our lives. After meeting Ajani, we have both decided we want to try our hand at a kitten.”

The library would be overrun within a week. “I should apologize for this now, Mr. Tawnlen.”

“All kittens, assuming they can be trained to Ajani’s level, will be welcome in the library. We are also going to test one of our training service dogs in our branch to see if having a service dog accessible helps some of our patrons.”

I narrowed my eyes at Beatrice.

“He applied for permission two weeks ago, and we gave him a list of our requirements for such a dog, so he’s been working on the training elements. I expect three to four weeks before we do the trial,” she replied. “We’re also going to be looking into a program to match trained service dogs with patrons in need.”

“I will sucker money out of politicians for this effort,” I swore.

“Excellent. We’ll get together next week to discuss your funding campaign. I suspect that we’re going to have to take advantage of your dates with dangerous politicians to put ourselves in a position to steal documentation while you’re keeping our target occupied. And I think we’re only going to get one chance to steal from an unwilling target.”

I grimaced, well aware of what the government would do if they had any reason to believe we were involved in the theft of sensitive documentation. “Are there even any willing targets for this?”

“We have the leads from Dr. Castor,” Bradley reminded me. “I’m confident you can find a reason to reach out to them all about donations—if they don’t reach out to you first. But that’s our first job. We need to all brainstorm about who our target should be. I really do think we’re only going to get one chance at this, so I want to make certain we make it the best chance possible.”

One of Dr. Castor’s leads had already given us a fortune in information, and we needed to sweep our condo for bugs again and listen to his wishes.

I expected I would shed many a tear by the time we finished poring through the documentation he’d left behind.

Until then, I would do my best to keep my head held high and my eyes clear.

There would be a time for grieving later, once we’d done everything we could to change our fate and the fate of our people.

As we all needed some time to think, we split up by gender, headed to Manhattan, and went on a rampage at an upscale wedding boutique. To my amusement, Bradley went to the store across the street from us. As he was determined to drive us both crazy until Monday, he insisted on texting me with pictures of him trying out new styles of suits to determine which one I liked best. To make it clear he liked the tradition of not seeing the bride until it was time to walk down the aisle, he requested that he not be involved with the acquisition of my dress.

I scowled at my phone, hating that I loved several of the suits on him. I finally ranked the twenty suits and styles on scales of one to ten, and my three favorites were ranked as tens, my runner ups were nines, and the three I wanted to burn were marked as zeroes with a note that I would condemn them in our fireplace.

Once I ranked the suits, I handed my phone over to Beatrice for her opinion. “Do you think I was a bit harsh about the zeroes?”

She checked the device, grinned, and shook her head. “Those suits look awful on him, so no. You have done him a favor. This is great. We’ll pick your dress to complement your top eight choices of suit. However, are you sure that you should have shown me that when your reaction to that one suit involves him dressing in it so you can undress him?”

“Do you think that was too strong of a hint that I like that suit?”

“He’s going to buy all eight of them,” she warned me. “And the one you want to strip him out of will likely end up the ceremony suit, because that’s the one he’ll try to keep for your anniversaries.”

Crap. “Do I have to keep this dress for a bunch of anniversaries?”

“No. I was looking into traditions, and the wealthy handle the dresses in one of two ways. They either keep the dress for a future daughter or they donate the dress to a charity to go to a woman who can’t afford a wedding dress. If you know someone who can use the dress, it can be handed down in that fashion rather than a charity, too. Or you can sell the wedding dress with all proceeds going to charity.”

I took my phone back and asked Bradley if he would mind if I sold my dress to donate to charity after we were done using it along with a comment that he was to keep his suit so I could continue dressing him in it with the intent to undress him. Narrowing my eyes, I then indicated I would buy an engagement party dress he could give his opinion on and that would be worn for the purpose of him removing it from my person.

A moment later, my phone rang. I answered it with a laugh. “Sorry. I can’t seem to handle this like a normal person. I decided the bridesmaids and mothers would select their dresses first so my dress can be a spectacle.”

“I am very interested in the selection of the engagement party dress I can help remove from your person,” he informed me. “If you don’t give me a limit on suits, I will buy all the suits you like.”

“You should definitely get the one I want to take you out of for the wedding suit and the other two I have marked as tens. One can be for the engagement party, and the other can be for the cruise. The eights through nines would be excellent for important parties and work events. If a zero shows up, I will burn it.”

“Would it make you feel better if I admitted I asked the tailor to dress me in the absolute worst suit styles for me just to screw with you?”

I snickered. “Okay. You definitely got a reaction out of me. Please don’t buy any of those suits. They looked terrible on you.”

“I might buy one of them for a Halloween costume. It’s pretty cheap.”

“Is pretty cheap below five hundred dollars?”

“It’s a hundred.”

Huh. “Why is it being sold there ?”

“It’s a rental suit that nobody wants to rent because it’s that ugly. A hundred lets the tailor ditch it, and he’ll be pleased when I destroy it for a costume.”

“Please inquire if he can assist you with the suit’s destruction for the appropriate fee,” I requested.

“Easily done. So, about this engagement party dress,” Bradley prompted.

As the bridal shop had an entire section dedicated to slinky dresses meant for cocktail parties and other events associated with wedding planning, I replied, “I will send you some pictures momentarily, and you can tell me which ones to try on.”

“I like this plan.”

“You’re going to like it right up until the reminder you have to wait for romance until Monday night.”

He sighed. “Why are we doing this to ourselves again?”

“It’s rude to romance after a funeral, and after today, we’re going to be too tired for romance, so we’re waiting for Monday night after the kittens have been put to bed to enjoy our romancing,” I replied. “I’m hanging up on you now so I can take pictures of your choices.”

I sent him a picture of all the available dresses, and his request that I try on all the little ones destined to reveal a great deal of skin amused me. While I waited, I checked price tags, determining I would be spending a fortune on even a single dress. Two choices loomed before me: I could accept the situation or fight the inevitable. As fighting the inevitable accomplished nothing, I began the process through determining which dresses appealed the most to me, would drive Bradley crazy, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in.

Once I eliminated about a third of them, keeping a few Bradley would like if I wore only for him in the comfort of our home, I took a photo of the skimpiest one and texted it to him, suggesting I should wear it to work at least once a week.

My phone rang again, and I answered with, “Is that a no?”

“How about we negotiate for you wearing that one at home three times a week?”

We would end up spending a lot on birth control if I did that. “If I don’t look absolutely awful in it, I’ll see about slipping it into today’s acquisitions. While you’re there, get a selection of suits for social events involving politicians. I think you’re going to need it. I’m going to be picking up a few dresses for that purpose. They will not be slinky, seductive affairs. What I wear underneath them might be, however.”

“You have my attention.”

I snickered. “We’ll go lingerie shopping together when we don’t have an audience, sometime next week. After the funeral, we will be going home so I can eat my feelings.”

“We’ll order in from the Indian place so you can pretend you’re crying from the spice. Anything else?”

“How long do you think it’s going to take a herd of bridesmaids and two mothers to pick their dresses?”

“Longer than either of us appreciates. Good luck. You’re going to need it. If they get carried away, remind my mother that dinner is a real thing we all need to have. Just be grateful that your mother decided we needed to eat before we started this, else starvation would be probable.”

“Let’s race. Whomever escapes their shop first, with all members of their party suitably dressed, wins a day trip of choice to take place in several weeks.”

“You’re on. I’m going to crush you, Janette. I have places I wish to go while you’re my captive prize.”

“Keep dreaming, Mr. Bradley Hampton.” I hung up, rubbed my hands together, and went to work herding cats so I could claim a day at the nearest beach.