Page 31

Chapter thirty-one

Patrick

The glass shakes in my hand, water sloshing over the rim. When I try to take a sip, it clatters against my teeth. I slam it down onto the counter, and grip the edge with both hands, fingers curling, nails digging into the wood like I can claw my way back into some semblance of control.

This has all gone so horribly, terribly wrong.

I squeeze my eyes shut and push my glasses up with my knuckle.

Okay, okay. Calm down.

It’s been what? An hour? Maybe more.

I’m not too sure, my brains pulsing against my skull so hard I can’t keep track.

But Levana stopped screaming a while ago, which is a good sign.

Shit, she was deafening at first. Screaming. Sobbing my name so damn loud.

I get it. I really do. I’d be freaked out too if I found out my boyfriend— the father of my child— had been married this whole time, and his wife had been hiding out in the back bedroom for weeks.

But she doesn’t understand yet. She doesn’t know the whole story. She doesn’t know what happened.

That look she gave me though, she was seething, she was so damn hurt. Mara was right, it was for the best that she explained everything to Levana instead of me.

She’s always been better with people than I have.

She’s great at calming people down. Back when things were bad, when I couldn’t sleep and felt like I was coming apart at the seams, she knew exactly what to say, exactly how to pull me back to reality.

And besides… Mara’s good with people.

She’ll help Levana. She’ll explain things better than I can—help her see this for what it really is.

That this is family, this is love. This is what she’s meant for.

I drag a clammy hand through my hair and blow out a breath.

This’ll be fine.

My beautiful girl is pregnant.

She’s talking to my wife.

Everything’s going to be just fine.

But I don’t think I can wait any longer. Can’t sit here panicking with no idea what’s happening up there.

An hour’s fine, right?

An hour’s enough time for her to understand what’s going on, surely?

I need to see her face, hear her voice—make sure she’s okay. Make sure the baby’s okay.

She must be exhausted—all that energy she burned fighting me, screaming, trying to run.

I’ll make her some tea. Something warm, something to help her settle. Something to soothe her just in case she doesn’t want me close to her.

I brew it and pour it into her favourite mug—the one with the little bees on it. She likes it sweet, so I squeeze some honey in, take a deep breath, and head upstairs.

But I hesitate when I reach the door.

Be calm. Don’t scare her.

I gently rap my knuckles on the wood. “Hey, are you guys okay in there?”

“Yeah,” Levana’s voice drifts through the wood. “We’re okay.”

Relief rushes through me so fast I almost laugh.

“Good. Good. Uh… Am I okay to come in?” I laugh lightly. “You’re not gonna run again, are you?”

There’s a short pause before she speaks again.

“I’m not gonna run,” she says. “I promise.”

Warmth blooms in my chest and a smile spreads across my face.

I shift the mug to one hand, unlock the door, and push it open.

Mara’s in her armchair, and Levana’s on the floor, tucked into the corner, knees pulled up to her chest, face pale but dry.

She’s not crying anymore.

That’s good.

That’s good.

“Hey,” I say as I step inside. “How are we doing in here?”

“She’s doing okay,” Mara says with a smile. “A little shaken, but she’s okay.”

“Okay, I’m glad.” I nod, before stepping closer to Levana and holding the mug out to her. “I made you some tea. Thought it might help.”

She flinches, body tensing at the sight of me.

It’s okay. It’s fine.

I keep my smile in place, make sure my voice is as calm as possible. She’s just tired. On edge. That’s normal after everything that’s happened recently.

Elliot. The baby. Mara.

“She’s just exhausted,” Mara says, like she’s reading my mind. “She’ll feel better after some rest.”

I nod. “Yeah, of course.”

I set the tea on the floor beside Levana, careful not to get too close. Then I cross the room and sit on the floor, leaning back against the crib.

“Okay,” I say, keeping my voice soft. “So… what did Mara tell you?”

Levana’s eyes shift to Mara for a second, then back to me, and she presses her lips together like she’s turning something over in her head.

“Patrick,” Her voice trembles on my name. “I need to hear it from you.”

She quickly cuts a glance at Mara. “No offense.”

Mara just gives her a soft smile. “None taken. I understand.”

Of course she understands. She knows this isn’t about her. She knows Levana’s panicking.

I nod slowly, licking my lips.

“Okay,” I say again, nodding like that’ll steady me. “Yeah… yeah, sure. I can explain.”

I lean forward a little, elbows resting on my knees, and try to find the right words—the right way to say it so she’ll understand.

“Well… I mean, you’ve met Mara now. But… it’s not just her. Alexander… he just hasn’t been right, and… well…” I shake my head, the words spill out way too damn fast, my mouth can barely keep up. “I knew you’d be able to help. Because you can do things. And Mara, she knew you’d be able to help too. And then there’s the baby, and—and the girls—“

“Patrick,” Levana interrupts, voice sharp enough to stop me in my tracks.

“What?” I ask, blinking at her.

“I can’t understand when you’re talking so fast. Can you just… start at the beginning? Slowly?”

I blink again, trying to catch up.

“Oh,” I say quietly. “Yeah, of course.”

I can do this.