Page 64

Story: Bold Angel

“If there is aught you need,” the abbess said, “Sister Beatrice will see it done.” Turning away, she left them .

“You have come to see your wife, my lord?” the little nun asked.

“Aye. How does she fair?”

“Not well, my lord, I fear. For days she has hidden herself away. ’Tis like watching a beautiful blossom wilt and fade. She does not belong here, my lord.”

Ral cleared his throat, but his voice still came out husky. “’Tis plain to see that is so. I only hope she feels the same.”

Beatrice pulled open a heavy wooden door with rusty hinges. It creaked eerily as they passed through and she led him outside.

“There, my lord.” She pointed to a gently rising hill across a meadow. “She sits in the sun whenever the sisters allow it, though it never seems to warm her.”

“Aye. Too well I know the feeling.”

Beatrice left him there and he stood for a moment, gathering his courage, praying the right words would come. Then he crossed the rolling field toward the small seated figure in the distance.

***

Caryn sat atop the knoll, staring out at the horizon.

There was much to do within the halls of the convent; the tasks often seemed without end.

Yet in the past few days, she had been allowed these times alone.

She wondered if it was the money Ral had paid for her care…

or if it was the sadness they saw in her eyes, the sorrow that reached the depths of her very soul.

She looked out over the meadow, seeing little of the beauty, barely feeling the sun.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but the fiery yellow ball had passed some distance closer to the horizon.

It was the shadow that fell over her, the pair of knee-high, soft leather boots encasing a man’s long legs that drew her from her musings and made her glance upward.

Shielding her eyes, she recognized the tall man outlined by the sun’s bright rays .

“Ral…” it was the softest of whispers, yet he smiled when he heard it. She had never thought to see that smile again.

“’Tis good to see you, Cara.”

She swallowed the pain he caused by using what was once an endearment, and the yearning that tore through her at the sound of his voice.

She came to her feet as hurriedly as she could, brushing blades of grass from her coarse brown tunic.

All the while, her eyes drank in the sight of him, of how tall and splendid he looked, of the dark masculine beauty of his face.

He was thinner, she saw, his body leaner, even more solid, if such a thing could be.

“Y-You are well, my lord? Your thigh is healing as it should?” Why had he come? She couldn’t imagine a single solitary reason.

“The wound was minor. I am fine.” He stood in front of her, looking oddly ill at ease. “And you, Cara? You are also fine?”

Why did he keep calling her that? Saying the word so softly, almost caressingly. It made tears burn the back of her eyes and a lump rise in her throat. She forced herself to smile and prayed it didn’t look far too bright.

“Aye, my lord, the sisters treat me well. And Gweneth is here. It pleases me to see how happy she is.”

Ral glanced off toward the horizon, his gaze fixed somewhere in the distance, much as hers had been. She memorized his powerful jawline, the sensuous curve of his lips. He shoulders were so broad they blocked the sun, until he turned and looked once more into her face.

“’Tis pleasant out here. Walk with me for a time?”

“As you wish, my lord.” But she really didn’t want to.

The pain he stirred was too great, the agony of her loss nearly unbearable.

Yet she shouldn’t have been surprised by his arrival.

It was like him to check on her welfare.

She was still his wife, after all. Or mayhap that was the reason for his visit.

Caryn’s insides squeezed into a hard tight ball. It should have occurred to her that he would want to end their marriage. There was the matter of children, of heirs for Braxston Keep and its lands. She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to keep the tears from welling in her eyes.

“How is Marta?” she asked as they moved farther away from the convent, the soft grass bending beneath their feet.

“Well. She worries overly for you. So does Ambra.”

“You must tell them that I am fine. That… that I am pleased to be returned to what was once my home.” She could have sworn his body tightened. At the bottom of the knoll, he paused and the breeze rippled gently through his wavy black hair.

“I have come this day for a reason,” he said. “There are questions I must ask you, things I must know.”

“Questions, my lord?”

“About the night you spoke with Geoffrey.”

She swayed a little on her feet, the pain was so great, and Ral reached out to steady her. Just the touch of his hand sent a fissure of longing through her body.

“You are all right?”

“’Tis only that… that I would rather not remember. ’Tis painful for me. I—”

“I too would rather not recall, but I must know why it was that you told Geoffrey about the Ferret.”

A hard ache rose in her throat. He was making her remember when she tried so hard to forget.

“I did not mean to.” She swallowed, wishing it was not so difficult to speak.

“’Twas the wine, I suppose. It made me see things, say things.

… Often I have wondered why he did it… what was it that he had to gain. ”

“He wanted the land. Malvern promised the king’s bounty in exchange for information. ”

Caryn nodded absently. The reason no longer seemed important. “During the time of his illness, he spoke of his mother, of caring for her as his father never had. You once told me that he was ambitious. Too late, I discovered ’twas the truth.”

“Then he was not your lover.”

She shook her head and smiled forlornly. “Nay, my lord. I was ever faithful to you.”

Ral’s jaw went taut. “You are saying that you did not love him.”

“Geoffrey? He was little more than a boy. I felt naught but friendship for Geoffrey.”

For the longest time Ral said nothing. When he did, his voice sounded oddly strained. “I should have asked you to explain. I am bitterly sorry.”

“Explain, my lord? There is naught to explain. Your men are dead because of me. You entrusted me with your secret and I revealed it. Once again I betrayed you. ’Tis I who am sorry, my lord.”

Ral turned and gripped her shoulders, his fingers biting in, forcing her attention to his face.

“You did not betray me! Think you that had Geoffrey gained the knowledge from Odo in such a manner I would have banned him from the castle?” Banned him from my life?

From my heart? “Think you I would not have seen the fault was Geoffrey’s, that he alone was to blame? ”

“I-I do not understand.”

“We all make mistakes, Cara. The mistake you made was in trusting Geoffrey. ’Tis your nature to place your faith in others and ’tis not something I would have you change. ’Twas never my intention to punish you for making a misjudgment, for certainly I have made mistakes myself.”

“You, my lord?”

“Aye. I made a terrible mistake the night I sought out Lynette. ’Twas a deed I regret most sorely. ”

“Your men are dead, my lord, because of me. There is naught that can change that.”

“My men are dead because of Geoffrey!”

Caryn said nothing more, just stared at him as if she tried to grasp his words. He raked a hand through his hair and looked down at her, uncertain what more to say, fighting an urge to touch her, knowing if he did he would crush her against him.

“There is a favor I would ask you, Cara.”

“Aye, my lord. But first I would ask a favor of you.” He arched a brow. “You wish a boon of me?”

“Aye.”

“What is it?”

“I would ask that from this day forward you do not return to this place. You have seen that I am well. If you wish to set aside our marriage, I ask that it be another who carries the news.”

Ral fought the tightness in his chest. “Why?”

She gave him a sad little smile and he noticed there were tears in her eyes. “I do not wish to see you… because it hurts my heart… too much.” Unconsciously her hand came up to the spot and Ral felt as if a blade sank into his own.

“I beg you, cherie, you are killing me with every word. Do not say more until you have heard the favor I would ask.”

She merely nodded and dashed the wetness from her cheeks.

Ral took a deep, steadying breath. “During our time together, I have come to know how highly you value your freedom. I know how much you loath being tied down by duties and responsibilities, but I would ask if you might consider… returning home.”

Lines furrowed her brow. “Home, my lord? You do not mean that I should return to the castle?”

“You are needed there sorely. Marta is old and frail, and there is Leo to consider. Ambra and Richard need help with the hall and… more than the rest… I need you, Cara.”

She stared at him for long uncertain moments, then tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “You would forgive me?”

“I told you, ma chere, ’twas naught but a mistake that you made.

I am the one who should seek forgiveness.

I should have believed in you, trusted you.

” He reached for her then, his arms going around her, drawing her against him with infinite care, holding her so close she felt the beating of his heart.

Bending his head, he kissed her, a tender, yearning kiss that changed to one of blazing heat and such fierce possession Caryn trembled.

“I love you,” she whispered when the fiery kiss had ended. “Mayhap I have loved you from the moment I first saw you.”

Ral crushed her against him. His smile was so bright it seemed the world had suddenly blossomed anew. “If that is so, then say that you will come home.”

Her answering smile came from deep inside her, the dawning of the sun after endless darkness and storm. “’Twould please me more than anything on this earth.”