Page 90 of Bobby Green

Reg scowled. “Sometimes it’s the smartest part of my body, you ever think of that? I’ve never had anything mine before, and… well, I wanted something—someone—mine.”

Dex’s obvious frustration eased, and he took a deep breath and sighed it out. “Yeah. Yeah, Reg. Believe it or not, I’m getting that right now. Like, personally. It’s… it’s a different way of thinking, right?”

Reg nodded soberly. Dex once asked him if he’d do a gig just for business. Reg and Dex had gone into a hotel room full of horny businessmen and fucked them into a coma. Twelve hours later they walked gingerly out with nothing more than a signature on a paper and a shit-ton of hickeys. Dex had upped the percentage on Reg’s royalties since that week, which had more than paid for Reg’s time, but Reg wondered. Would either of them do that again?

Reg thought about Dex and Kane, touching each other casually at the Christmas party, looking at each other with diamonds in their eyes.

No. They wouldn’t.

“We’re… we’re changing,” he said, feeling stupid.

But Dex shrugged. “Yeah. Yeah—growing up, maybe. It’s about time.”

Growing up. Would that mean doing something besides fucking his way through life?

“God,” Reg moaned, burying his face in his hands. “I amsounprepared.”

Dex let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, well, join the club. I’ll push you guys back a day. Lance won’t mind.”

Reg wanted to brighten—he liked Lance. But then he remembered: he liked Lance.

Was that bad? To like the guy he was going to fuck for money?

He wanted badly to ask Dex, but he couldn’t figure out how.

Dex picked up on something, though. His weary expression softened. “It gets harder as we get older,” he said softly. “It should. I mean, sex should mean something. We don’t think that when we’re nineteen and we can fuck anything.”

“I like Lance,” Reg said. “He’s not who I want to be with. Is that bad?”

“No,” Dex responded immediately. “His heart’s not gonna be involved. He knows yours isn’t. You like working with the guy. As far as porn goes, it’s perfect.”

“Perfect?” Reg admitted it—he was reaching for straws. He didn’t expect Dex’s expression to turn bleak.

“You don’t want to… to have a scene with someone you really care for,” Dex said. “I mean, it’s complicated enough as it is. But this way, you know sex is sex and loving someone—that’s different. It’s more important.” Dex’s full mouth twisted wryly. “So, like, you know—apparently more important than your abstinence window?”

Reg had the grace to look away, embarrassed. “Yeah. Like more important than my abstinence window,” he admitted.

“Well, it happens. Ready to tell anybody who the lucky girl is?”

Reg squinted at him, confused. But then, he’d been telling people for years—years—that he was mostly straight. Whywouldn’tDex think it was a girl?

He fought the urge to look out of Dex’s window, where Kelsey was sitting with Bobby, helping him set up his bank account so he could pay his mom.

“No,” Reg said, wishing he could put a cold cloth on his forehead and have somebody bring him ice cream. V used to do that, he remembered plaintively. Before their lives became a constant battle over whether or not she should take her meds and what the people on TV were saying, he used to come home from a scene and tell his sister he’d had a bad day at work. She’d bring him dessert and put a cloth on his forehead and let him have the television.

But he didn’t have her to do that anymore, and he couldn’t explain to Bobby why he was confused—not yet—and pretty much, Dex was making things better and worse.

“Well, I’d be glad to meet her when you are,” Dex said kindly. He looked out at Kelsey and grimaced. “’Cause, seriously. This place needs more women, you think?”

Reg grinned at him—it was a funny joke, right? Gay porn place, needing more women. But he liked Kelsey—he liked women in general—and he had to agree.

“I thought you guys were gonna keep working on the het, right?”

Dex rolled his eyes. “It’s doing some money,” he admitted. “I just need to get better at directing it.”

Reg stood up, because he had to do one more thing before he could collect Bobby and go home. “You will,” he said with confidence. “You know what makes porn good. It’s not always the sex or the putting the thing in the place.”

“What is it?” Dex said, but like he had his own answer and just wanted to see what Reg’s would be.