Page 15

Alora

Darkness. That was all there was. Maybe that was all there ever was. Or maybe my life was nothing more than a parallel universe of light and dark living on the same plain at the same time and neither recognizing one another for what they were. Maybe believing in God and Heaven had always been nothing more than smoke and mirrors, and every single moment we lived was our own heaven or hell.

My cellmate had told me that waking up each day and remembering why she was in prison was the same as going to hell. I’d never heard truer words. Not a day or night had passed that I didn’t think of Evie and Tammy and what I did to cause their deaths. What could I have done differently? Why was I the one who lived? Was that my punishment all along? Forced to live the rest of my life knowing that I was the cause of Evie’s death and my soul along with her?

Maybe, but I’d had all I could take, and I thought death was supposed to be peaceful. A place where your soul finally rested and the pain of the life you lived faded away, but if I was dead, then I didn’t land in heaven. All the painful memories were still front and center in my mind, and the ache of losing her was still sitting on my chest.

I blinked as I tried to remember what happened. I’d been prepared to die. I sat and cried and talked to Evie as I drank. Then I got up, ready to finally join my sister, except….

“Starting to come around? That’s good.”

Was it?

I shivered at the sound of Greyson’s voice. I would’ve known it anywhere, and it seemed fitting that I jumped to my death, and his was the first voice I heard. Maybe he was the devil all along. Following me from the shadows, lurking and waiting for his opportunity to strike, claim me, and drag me down to where I belonged.

Fear trickled along my body as I heard him come closer. I turned my head and picked out his shadow but couldn’t see his face. Swallowing, I gagged at the feeling of something up my nose and down my esophagus. What had he done to me? Jerking my arm up to grab whatever it was, my arm didn’t budge, and fear, along with bile, rose inside of me. Steadying my breathing, I swallowed hard to keep it down.

Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out.

“What have you done to me? Why can’t I move?”

“What I did was save your life. You can’t move because I have you strapped down for your safety, of course. What you feel is a tube down your esophagus and into your stomach. I pumped most of the alcohol out with an OG tube, but I figured you wouldn’t like waking up to a tube down your throat, so you now have an NG one in its place.”

“How considerate,” I mumbled. “I don’t like to be tied,” I said and then mentally kicked myself.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get over that.” I didn’t know if that was supposed to be comforting, but it really wasn’t. “I’ll finish pumping your stomach like this with a saline solution.” He stepped closer, wearing the same hood he had on at the shelter, leaving his face hidden. “If you’re wondering why the saline, it’s because it will prevent an electrolyte imbalance.” He leaned on the table. “Pretty impressive to down two bottles and still be able to run. You must have been quite the track star.”

I turned my head away from him as every life choice that had brought me to this moment flashed behind my eyes.

“You should’ve just let me die.”

He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. There was something utterly unnerving about him. The hood made him look like the Grim Reaper. It felt like I was begging death itself to finish the job.

“You don’t see it yet, but we were made for one another, just like stars and a dark sky. Don’t worry, though. Death is always chasing us. There is no escaping it. You will get your wish, but not yet, Doll. I have plans for us, plans to fix you.”

Pfft left my lips before I could stop it. The alcohol still running through my system had emboldened me not to care as much about trivial things like where I was or what happened to me. But I was scared for when it wore off completely. “There is no fixing what’s wrong with me. My mother tried, doctors tried, hell, even prison tried, but I’ll always be broken.” I searched the darkness of the hood, trying to find his eyes. “Take me back to the bridge and throw me over or shoot me. Do whatever you want. Death is the one thing I’m looking forward to.”

He pushed the hood back off his head, and I wasn’t sure what was worse: the black void or the piercing blue eyes that made my pulse pound harder from just a glance. He smiled, and it felt like being touched by something cold.

“But where is the fun in that? No, Doll. Breaking you and remaking you…now that’s far more exciting.”

Great, I had to be kidnapped by a complete and utter psycho. I couldn’t get the run-of-the-mill rapist or murderer, no, of course not. I had to attract the most insane of the bunch, like a fucking moth to a flame.

He ran his knuckle down my cheek, and I didn’t realize I was crying until he lifted his finger to show me just before sucking it into his mouth. “You taste like despair. I wonder if your pussy will be just as sweet.”

My breathing stopped, and my heart felt frozen in my chest as I watched him lick his finger again and groan. Nothing he did should be erotic, and yet there was something more than fear and sadness stirring inside of me. That was the most terrifying part of all. My lack of self-control had always been my worst enemy, and I could already tell that he was going to be worse than any bottle of vodka.

Dear Lord, I know I don’t deserve it, but please help me.

Greyson

Stripping off the leather coat, I hung it up before circling Alora, debating on what I should do first. She thought she was weak, but her mind was resilient and more determined than she gave herself credit for. There was defiance burning in her eyes even through the glassiness of the alcohol still invading her system.

Her eyes followed me wherever I walked in the dining room, even when I knew I was out of the light. They were drawn to me.

“Are you not going to ask where you are?”

“Would it make you feel better if I did,” she asked, her voice thick with sarcasm, once more showing the strength that most didn’t possess.

Chuckling, I leaned on the table and looked down at her. “You’re at my family home. Well, what used to be the family farm, but my parents no longer live here, and I’m the only one who steps foot on the property. You’re currently strapped to my dining room table, and I must say you look like a delicious meal that I want to fucking eat.”

Alora’s cheeks turned red, and her eyes were wide as she bit her lip. There was confusion. I could see the warring emotions written all over her face as easily as if she were speaking the words.

“I need to use the bathroom,” she said, and I smirked at her.

“Then go.”

“What?”

“Pay more attention to your body, Alora. Tell me what you feel.”

She blinked at me and then lifted her head and looked down, her face turning a ghostly shade of white. “I’m…I’m naked, and…oh my god, did you put a catheter in me?”

“I sure did, and as soon as I’m done pumping your stomach, I’ll switch over to giving you supplements. You’re an unhealthy weight, and you’re lacking in all essential nutrients.”

“Oh my god. Is your first fix to strip me of any dignity,” she asked, laying her head back down. “You really are a psycho.”

“Try socio, and no, I’m thorough. I’m doing what you should’ve done, which is taking care of your body.”

“Oh, okay, Mom,” she said, and I marched over to where she was strapped down to the massive oak dining room table and grabbed her face.

“Your mother is a cunt and never gave a fuck what happened to you, but I do. Don’t call me your mother again, or you will taste my brand of punishment.” She swallowed, the sound loud in the quiet house. Fuck, I loved the blue of her eyes, they were like looking into two cold blue pools, and yet they somehow warmed me. She nodded, and the flash of rage settled.

“It was you, wasn’t it,” she asked as I let go of her face.

“If you mean was it me that killed the man fucking your mother, then yes, I killed Dave.”

She closed her eyes, and her head rocked from side to side. “Why?”

“He turned around. He shouldn’t have turned around,” I said, hitting the power on the old entertainment center. The player fired up, and I picked up the mix CD that I’d found in Alora’s box labeled A&E’s Favs .

“I don’t know what that means.”

I shrugged as I dropped the CD in the player, snapping the cover shut. “It means that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he needed to die.”

“I’m assuming you’re telling me this because you never plan on letting me go?”

Picking up the remote, I hit shuffle, and the first song began to play. Walking over to Alora, I stared down at her and loved how her blue hair looked wild as it splayed out around her head and the contrast of it against the deep honey-colored wood.

“Correct, but to be fair, I never let anyone go once I have them. Don’t worry. When I’m done with you, you’ll either beg me to stay or you’ll be dead. Either way is a win. Isn’t it?” I held up the CD case to show her, and her eyes shimmered with tears. “This is why Dave died. I was looking for clues as to who you are, Alora. What does my doll like? What makes her tick? What was she like before the accident that brutally killed her sister?”

She turned her head away from me, the tears falling from her eyes and slipping down her cheeks.

“Please just let me go. If begging is what you want, I will beg you to let me leave,” she said, her voice breathy with fear. But I wasn’t sure if it was fear of me or what she felt.

“Where would you go, Doll? You have no home, no family, no friends, no reason to go on. I’m all you have. So…tell me, where would you go?” She didn’t answer. Her bottom lip trembled as I ran my hand up her arm and felt her shudder, but her nipples hardened. “No, you don’t want to leave. You were ready to kill yourself, and what I’m offering you is a chance to have a whole new life and a reason to live again.”

“I just want to die. Please…please kill me.”

I sighed before leaning down and licking the droplets of salty tears from her cheeks. “I already told you no. Now stop asking. The first thing you’re going to learn about me is that I don’t like to repeat myself. So don’t ask again. It wastes time and breath.” Cupping her face, I rubbed my thumb over her soft skin. “Fuck, you’re beautiful. The brightest star picked from the sky and dropped here on earth for me. It’s no wonder you don’t fit in. The rest of this world can never understand you.”

“But you do,” she asked, voice soft and willowy.

“I do. Now rest up. You’ll feel better once you get some food, and I get the rest of the poison out of your stomach.”

“The poison in my stomach isn’t the problem. It’s the stuff running through my veins,” she said.

“We’ll see.” Picking up a blanket, I laid it over her body to keep her warm. Holding up the remote, she looked at it and then my face. I made a show of putting it down just out of her reach. “Let’s start with facing your past.” Grabbing the sleep mask, I pulled it down over her eyes.

“No, please turn it off.” I turned it up and walked out of the room. “Please! Please!” Fuck I loved that word on her lips. Now I just needed her to say please fuck me. It would come, it would take time, but she would hand herself over, or I’d slit her throat.

Picking up the ham and cheese sandwich I’d made while Alora was passed out, I sat down and took a bite as she screamed from the other room for me to shut off the music. Now, this was life.