Page 54

WINNOW

I fucking hate secrets. Guilt is a weight on my chest as Gideon takes up the space behind me, settling his head on my shoulder as his hands bracket the counter on either side of me where I stand chopping vegetables.

His nose traces across the curve of my neck, the action so perfect and sweet that I’m about to jump out of my fucking skin with the need to get this off my chest.

The words blurt out of me in a rush.

“I have a confession to make.”

Gideon’s nose along my neck halts mid-graze before he pulls back. A moment passes, and I’m swallowing my guilt at not having told him sooner. My heart pounds furiously in my chest.

Will he hate me now?

Have I irreparably broken his trust?

Akash almighty, this on top of all the other secrets I’m harboring from him… I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m back at Sheriff Harlan’s office within the hour, watching Gideon’s truck disappear into the horizon.

At my silence, Gideon’s hands wrap around my arms and turn me to face him.

My eyes are already watering as he stares down at me wearing a hard expression.

“What happened, angel?”

Tears are already streaming down my cheeks as the words rush out of me.

“I saw your ex. Here in the woods–

Gideon rears back, cutting me off.

“What the fuck?”

“I chased her down.”

His head tips back toward the ceiling in dismay.

“Jesus, fuck.”

“...But she outran me and drove off.”

“When was this?”

“Yesterday.”

Gideon curses and begins to pace, scrubbing a hand over his beard.

“How do you know it was her?”

“I mean she was certainly staring at you hard enough, creeping through your forest like some kind of fucking wraith.”

“What’d she look like?”

My lip trembles. “Beautiful and sexy.”

Gideon stares at me blankly for a moment before his brow knits together and he bursts into laughter. The moment I smack him in the chest, he takes it as an opportunity to grab the offending extremity and pull my body against his.

“Well, that doesn’t sound like her. I’m seriously beginning to doubt this theory of yours.”

Sniffling, I scowl up at him as he cradles my face in his hands. “Oh? How many other women do you have stalking you? A whole harem?”

Gideon gives a mirthless huff. “Was she skinny? Dark hair? Too much make-up?”

I fail to mask my pout. “Something like that.”

Gideon heaves a sigh. “She can’t hold a candle to you, angel.”

My throat works as I attempt to muster the rest of my confession. At least in regard to his ex… the other confessions will have to wait.

“She also sent another letter.”

Gideon’s eyes shift to scan the counter. When his scan lands on the parcels and mail, clearly absent of a signature pink envelope, his gaze returns to mine. “You checked the mail?”

I shake my head. “No, the lettermaiden asked me to sign for those packages.”

Gideon’s lip twitch with something that resembles humor, hesitating for a moment. “And where is it?”

My tears swell again.

“Under my side of the bed.”

Gideon’s face takes on an expression of tenderness as he chuckles and pulls my head against his chest. His words are spoken against the top of my head.

“You sneaky little thing. You opened it, I’m guessing?”

With a shuddering breath of relief, I nod against him.

“You ok?”

“No. She’s horrible.”

“Sounds about right.”

A moment passes as he pets my hair.

“You’re not mad?”

“What could I possibly have to be mad about?”

“Me invading your privacy. Withholding pertinent information from you.”

Gideon chuckles, angling my face to look up at his.

“Privacy? I’d argue that the moment you gave me a taste of that perfect little pussy of yours, I’d forfeited all rights to non-disclosure.”

Oh, fuck… That’s it. I’m going to be consumed by guilt, by–

“Which means that I, too, have a confession.”

Deceiver! I knew this was too good to be true!

“Tell me immediately before I have a heart attack, Gideon Kincaid. And you’re not allowed to omit a singular fucking detail.”

His lips quirk even as the tension in his brow returns, though not in admonishment, but in guilt. I push off of him, shaking my hands out and taking deep breaths before I puke all over the floor.

“Does it have to do with your ex?”

His throat works. “Yes.”

No.

No. No. No. No. Noooooo.

The tears are back with a vengeance.

“This is the rug. It’s being ripped out from underneath me. I knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it–

Gideon’s in my face before I can spiral any further.

“Winnow, baby, what? Whatever it is you're thinking, it’s not that. You remember before, when I told you she had a hard time letting me go?”

I nod, face crumpling as his thumbs stroke away my tears.

“Well, that was a massive understatement because I was afraid you wouldn’t wanna deal with me anymore.

The truth is that I had to get a restraining order against her because she was stalking me.

Almost everywhere I went. I would wake up in the middle of the night to her trying to break into my house.

She would show up at my gym, restaurants, grocery shopping, whatever.

She set my fucking truck on fire. If I went to a bar with my friends, she would show up.

If a woman tried to talk to me, she’d show up outta nowhere and attack her.

I couldn’t live a normal life because of her.

It was insane, and I was fucking terrified of telling you because I couldn’t imagine you would wanna be anywhere near me if you knew all the baggage that came along with me. ”

Oh my gods.

I’m speechless. I’m in shock. I’m… furious.

Several tense moments pass, and the longer his words have to sink in, the more my heart thunders.

“She did all of that to you?”

Gideon’s expression tightens further, wary of my inevitable reaction.

“Yes.”

A certain calming resolve settles upon my shoulders as Gideon’s eyes dance between each of mine.

“Angel, please say something. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

I shake my head. “I don’t care about that.”

The uncertainty on Gideon’s face tells me he doesn’t know how to interpret my reaction. “It doesn’t… scare you away?”

My brows pinch. “Why should I be scared?”

Gideon gives me a look like it should be obvious.

“Well, she’s… capable of violence. Prone to it even.

And as you’ve already discovered, she’s still fucking haunting me.

I wouldn’t blame you if you felt that was too much to deal with.

Not that I would ever allow her to touch a singular hair on your… ”

He thinks I would fear this human woman?

Humor seizes my insides, and my entire body tenses, trying to hold it back.

Gideon’s words drift as he takes in my expression: lips curled inward, over my teeth as the corners of my eyes crinkle with mirth.

Perhaps it’s all the stress, or my past trauma, but I’m shaking, trying to hold back my laughter.

Gideon gives me a sideways look. “Winnow, baby… Are you alright?”

I nod, wiping at the tears in my eyes as I try to stop my hysterical, mostly silent giggles. “Yes.”

“What’s so funny?”

Well, not to toot my own horn here, but…

“Nothing at all. I just…”

Survived years of physical torture and violence at the hands of fae, daemon, orc, and countless other formidable males twice my size.

“Can handle her. Don’t worry.”

Still chuckling, I attempt reassurance by patting him on the shoulder. The dubious look on Gideon’s face inspires a new round of tame laughter.

“Am I missing something?”

Yes.

“Nope.”

Gideon takes a deep breath, rubbing his brows with his thumb and forefinger.

“Well, there’s one more thing.”

My laughter comes to an abrupt halt.

“Spit it out.”

“I killed my step-dad when I was 18.”

Oh.

“May I ask why?”

“He beat the shit out of me and my mother on a near daily basis for twelve years.”

Akash-all-fucking-almighty.

At my shocked but grim expression, Gideon expectantly searches my gaze.

“You wanna tell me how that makes you feel?”

“Like I almost wish he were still alive just so I could kill him myself.”

Gideon’s gaze narrows. “... It doesn’t… make you at all second-guess me? My capacity for violence?”

“You already told me you used to kill people for a living.”

“Yeah, but they were bad people. Mostly.”

“Is a man who commits child abuse not bad?”

Gideon hesitates for a moment.

“So it doesn’t… make you doubt your trust in me?”

“Not even remotely. Sounds like the man deserved it.”

A few beats of silence pass between us, and it feels like Gideon’s studying me with new eyes. It makes me squirm.

Does he still like what he sees?

Should I just rip it off like blood-crusted gauze and tell him the whole truth about me, like he has with me?

Before I can decide, Gideon closes the distance between us, pulling my body flush against his again. Again, his eyes dance between both of mine as though one of them will betray how I really feel.

I love you, you ridiculous human man. How could you possibly question my loyalty to you over some miserable wench?

“You promise I haven’t scared you off?”

I huff a mirthless laugh. “Ferion , if that’s your intention, you’ll have to do better than murder and stalking.”

Gideon gives me a singular blink before his head tips back with laughter.

The sound pours over me like a soothing elixir that sinks soul-deep, making every muscle in my body finally relax.

When his laughter calms, the affection in his gaze is enough to steal my breath.

He leans in, bringing his face closer to mine, and grazes the tip of his nose against my skin in that way of his that never fails to make heat blossom in my core.

“Have I ever told you how perfect you are for me, angel?”

My words are a breathy whisper against his cheek.

“You may have mentioned it.”

His lips graze mine, drawing a surprisingly slutty moan from my throat.

Gods, no other male has ever made me make these sounds.

Gideon gives a deep groan in reply as he captures my mouth with his. My arms wrap around his neck and in the next moment, his hands are gripping the heft of my ass and lifting me onto the kitchen counter.