Page 39 of Blood Moon

And if I were to perish before my time, let it be because I’d drowned in her.

Article II, Lost Letters from Aadan the First

In a blink, Julian was human again, naked and staring at me with the proudest smile I’d ever seen him wear. I closed my eyes once more, covered my face with both hands. “A warning!” I screeched. “A warning would have been nice!”

“It’s not like I can speak when I’m in that form,” he teased, and then he murmured something sarcastically.

“Hey!” I shouted blindly. “I heard that.”

“You didn’t.” He laughed a little, and I smacked my lips.

“ I did, ” I corrected, lying through my teeth. I wanted Julian to tell me what he said without asking outright, but that plan was backfiring rapidly.

“You didn’t,” he said again. “Because if you had, you’d probably be launching your shoe at me.”

“Don’t tempt me.” I huffed. “Is it safe for me to open my eyes yet?”

“Yes.”

When I did, I placed my hands behind me and leaned back, watching him tie his shoes.

Human again. So peculiar. So inconceivable.

Julian smoothed his shirt out, wiped some dander away from his jeans, and then sat on a smaller rock across from me, where he put on his chain.

He beamed again, glistening from ear to ear.

“You must be really proud of yourself,” I said, and he smiled even wider, resting his arms on his legs.

“I am. I’ve actually never been able to show anyone my true form.” He took a breath. “It feels really good,” he said, a rosiness in his cheeks.

Habitually, I wouldn’t have said anything in response, but because there was this sense of honor from being the first to witness him shift, I said, “You should be proud.”

Julian thanked me, rubbed his hands on his legs. “I’m curious … what did you think?”

I didn’t miss a beat. “It was absolutely incredible.” And still, I couldn’t believe it was real. “Can you do that whenever you want?”

“Yeah.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No,” he began, folding his fingers. “It’s not like the movies where they portray it as skin ripping gruesomely from the body and growing new bones, while simultaneously fighting the urge to destroy everything in sight.

My people are different. While we are considered werewolves, we’re technically shapeshifters. Logistics are funny in that way.”

I imagined shapeshifting was like magic. A snap of the fingers, and one could be human or wolf. “How long has this been happening to you?”

Julian looked at his chain, then his hands.

“As pups, we are born human-presenting, entering the world like any mortal, but as toddlers, some of us shift for the first time. It’s usually not for long, or often, but it happens until the gene goes into remission.

We spend the rest of our childhood like normal kids, and once puberty comes to an end, shifting hits us like a sickness.

For me, I was out sick for a month, writhing in agony as my body adjusted to what it was meant to be.

I knew what was happening, but it was still the worst pain in my life.

When the transition was complete, I was gifted this chain as a rite of passage.

Everyone in the family owns one.” Julian smiled again, realizing he’d offered more than I’d asked for, but it was captivating learning how it worked.

“To answer your question, I’ve been able to fully shift for two years now. ”

I remembered the men Julian had been with that evening in the woods. “How many others are like you? Are there a pack of wolves running wild on campus?”

“I wouldn’t say we’re running wild on campus.”

“But there’s a pack?” I raised a brow.

“Kind of.”

“Do others know?” I asked, but I knew the response. “ The bond, ” I muttered to myself, but even with the oath in place, there were loopholes … there was that book.

“Right. It’s what connects us together. Especially when we’re in wolf form.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“When we’re animals, we can’t speak, but we’re able to transmit our words telepathically. It’s similar to mind reading, only we have the ability to withhold thoughts we don’t want to share.”

I nodded, thinking of something witty I could have said, but deciding against it. How mature of me. I asked another question, a more burning one. “How does aging work?” Because Julian and I—I assumed—were similar in age, but with him being a paranormal creature, I wasn’t sure.

“Are you asking because you’re ageist?”

“What? No!” I laughed. “I’m asking because I didn’t know werewolves existed until, like, twenty minutes ago.”

“Sure, sure.” Julian smirked, and that little twist in his face burned at my ribs. I adjusted myself. “I’m not old, Mira, if that’s what you were wondering. I’m nineteen. Through adolescence, wolves age like mortals. But as we get older, we have the option to slow the process.”

Mortal. The term made me feel insignificant.

But as I stared at Julian, I recalled the largeness of his eyes when he was a wolf, and my chest caved at the memory of the iridescent animal eyes I’d seen from my dorm window.

“I have to ask this, but were you … or have you been watching me outside my window?”

There was a brief look of confusion that molded into disgust. “No, I’m not a creep.”

“I had to know.” I took a breath, but it didn’t make me feel better.

I’d witnessed those eyes previously, during the first week of school, and before that, the night Rena left.

It could only mean that a wolf, or wolves, had been aware of my existence long before I’d been aware of theirs.

How could that be, and more importantly, why?

I crumpled in place. The memory spoiled the fairytale.

“Julian,” I whispered sharply, my hands shaking as I sat upright, recalling the reported deaths, recalling what had happened the day I fell in the woods.

It was another reason I shouldn’t have come.

“Are you …” It pained me to say the rest, and he leaned forward on the edge of the rock, his brows crushing together.

“Am I what? ” he said, perhaps more eager than I anticipated.

Another breath in. “There have been reports of animal attacks. People have died. Witnesses have said the animal is larger than anything they’d ever seen, and I know it’s not a bear. Was this you, or your family?” I squinted my eyes, almost too afraid to see his reaction.

There was a look of sympathy on his face. “No,” Julian said. “I’m not killing people. The recent attacks aren’t my pack. It’s coming from elsewhere.”

“Is everyone in your family a wolf?”

Julian flicked something off his knee. “For the family I have left, yes. Some of us consider it a curse. But we were created immortal. Nothing in the heavens, or below the earth, can stop what is already permanent.”

“You said the family you have left … as if something terrible has happened.”

“Precisely that.” I folded my lips, and he sat up. “Not to be rude, or disrespectful, since I know I’ve had a habit of that …” Julian stopped talking to smile at me, and I rolled my eyes. Because yes, he had a nasty habit of that.

I jumped in. “Oh, you’re saying the reason you’ve been a prick isn’t from your lack of awareness?”

Julian held up a finger, wiggled it back and forth. “I’m not done yet,” he stated, and he smiled. “And you’d be surprised at how aware I am.” He adjusted himself. “What I was going to say was … I feel like we’ve been talking about me this entire time, and it seems unfair to you.”

I laughed with my chest, made a face. “Julian, you’re the wolf,” I said with composure. “It’s just so much more interesting.”

“And you’re the girl who discovered I’m a wolf,” he said, and when he took a breath, I saw how there was a stammer there, something rising inside him. “And I’m trusting you with this secret because no one can know. But, since you know so much about me, I feel like I should get to know you, too.”

I leaned back on my hands again, tilted my chin up. “What does Julian Santos want to know about me?”

He smiled crookedly and continued. “You’re from the area, right?”

I sighed. “Yup. Born and raised.”

Julian nodded introspectively, his lips twisting slightly. “You never lived anywhere else?”

“Why is that surprising to you?” I pressed. “Have you ever lived anywhere else?”

“You seemed more worldly, I guess?” He scratched at the fuzz on his face. “I don’t know … I just figured you moved at some point in your life. But no, I haven’t lived anywhere else. I can’t exactly leave this place.”

“Like, ever?” I sat up, unfolded my legs to let them dangle over the edge of the rock.

“I’m not supposed to …” He cleared his throat, looked at the brook.

“Do you have any siblings?” He asked, changing the subject, but I wasn’t ready to move past it.

Why wasn’t he allowed to leave this area?

Another thought came. Could it be because of her —the woman that seemed to have some sort of control over Julian?

“Wait, why can’t you leave?”

Julian looked at me. “You know, usually when you tell someone to talk about themselves, they can go on and on … but you? It’s hard to stay on topic.”

“Maybe that’s my bad habit.”

“Trust me, being humble isn’t a bad habit.”

“It can be if I’m deflecting …” Like now. Because I wanted to know more about him, and more about this woman that lingered above him like a bad omen. “And also,” I continued, “like, you’re a wolf, dude.”

He shook his head, snickered. “Valid,” he said. “I’ll answer this question, and then we’re pivoting back to you.”

“Fine,” I said impatiently; I was ready to know.