Page 45 of Blood Bonds

It’s a stupid question. She never leaves the house now. The housekeeper, Nina, spends her time keeping my mom fed and alive more than she actually cleans anymore. There’s only really dusting to be done now that mom has taken to her bed.

I’m not being dramatic there. She’s literally taken to her fucking bed.

I grab the pile of mail in the basket where Nina leaves it for me. It’s tough to admit to myself that it’s the only real reason I came here today. If I don’t stay on top of shit around here, it’s not getting done.

There’s a fresh bunch of flowers in front of the family portrait in the foyer, the shrine that Nina keeps so that mom doesn’t lose her shit on the off chance she walks down here. It’s a good photo of the three of us, taken a few weeks before Oli’s disappearance, and we’re all genuinely happy in it. Fuck.

I let my eyes drop away and take the stairs two at a time, avoiding the creaks out of pure habit because there’s no real need to be sneaking my way up here. I did that enough as a stupid teenager, coming in from parties and football tailgates that went on a little too long. Back before this shit.

I knock softly on my parents’ bedroom door, pushing it open a little because there’s no chance of catching mom in an awkward situation. She’d have to exist for that to happen. “Mom? How are you feeling today?”

The curtains are pulled shut and the room is only lit up by a soft lamp. I’d guess Nina turned it on this morning to attempt to get her up, but even the tray of food at her side has barely been touched.

“Mom? It’s Gabriel. I’m home to see how you’re doing.”

There’s a sigh from the lump on the bed, and I try not to let it dig under my skin. That tiny sound makes my skin shrivel in shame, like I’m a burden to her for being here to see her. Like she just wants to be left here to waste away to nothing and I’m forcing her to stay.

Am I?

Probably.

“Gabe, Mommy is tired. I’ll come and play with you after a nap.”

My stomach sinks even lower, practically in hell now. She does this sometimes, loses track of where andwhenshe is. Like her mind is reverting back to when her life meant something and it wasn’t this endless hell without either of her Bonded.

I fight to keep my tone even but, fuck, it’s hard. “I don’t need you to play with me, mom. I just need to know that you’ve eaten something today. Nina called me to say you were refusing food again.”

She huffs and throws out a hand, but it’s so frail that it barely makes a sound against the soft duvet. “She’s meddling again! I need to let her go and find someone who will just leave me.”

I shouldn’t, I really fucking shouldn’t, but my temper is shorter than ever at the moment. I have real shit to be thinking about, not this endless state of grief she refuses to leave. “To die, mom? You need to find someone who will let you waste away until you actually die? Because you’re not far off. You can’t fire Nina. I have power of attorney over you, remember? I hired her. I pay her. I take care of everything around here, because you can’t!”

I stop myself, biting my lip until the words stay trapped on my tongue. I feel the moment she shuts down again, my anger sending her back into the empty space of her grief-stricken mind.

When she doesn’t answer, or even move, I stalk back out of the room. She’s alive, that’s all I really needed to see, and I make it the entire way down the stairs before it hits me. Mostly because my father’s portrait is still hanging there, staring at me like he can see me and knows exactly what I’m thinking.

The guilt might eat me alive.

Because if dad were here and mom was gone, he’d be mourning her just as hard, but at least he’d take care of himself.

Sometimes I wish it was her who died.

When I get backto the Draven mansion, I head straight up to Oli’s room to find my Bond. I need to get the hell out of my own head and back to reality, where we all function and work on our shit instead of running from it in our own goddamn heads.

I take a breath before I knock on the door.

She calls out to me straight away and when I try the door handle, I find it unlocked. That’s new. That feels big too, because she’s always been extra jumpy about keeping it locked at all times. Whatever went down with North before they Bonded, it’s definitely got her trusting us all a little more.

I’m not sure wealldeserve that trust.

When I step in, I find schoolwork all over her floor, and Oli’s wearing the tiniest pair of shorts I’ve ever seen as she’s sprawled out in front of it all. She’s alone, except for the two creatures, and there’s a scowl on her face that means I know exactly what she’s working on.

I don’t get why she ties herself in knots over her Gifted 101 shit when North would pass her no matter what, just for being his Bonded, and Nox will never pass her for the exact same twisted reason.

They’re both beyond fucked up over her, but I’ll take North’s brand over Nox’s any day of the week. I don’t need to know the exact reasons for it to know that whatever the hell happened in the Draven house messed with him in a very particular way.

She looks up at me with a soft smile, one that reaches her eyes, and I attempt to not trip over my own feet at the sight of it. She’s fucking gorgeous, made perfectly just for me, and the more she opens up, the more of her perfection I find.

She props her chin up on one of her hands and tilts it to one side at me as she looks me over. “How was your mom? Did you get what you needed?”