Page 2 of Blizzard Babies (Alaska Blizzard #6.5)

Charli

A bout of nausea wakes me up and I roll over in annoyance.

This is happening all the time lately, and interrupting my sleep is making me cranky.

If Miikka was home, he would somehow sense I need him, wake up, and rub my back.

Or my feet. Or anything else that’s bothering me.

My sexy Finnish husband is sweet that way.

He’s truly the best partner any woman could ask for.

Unfortunately, he’s on a road trip, so I’m on my own tonight.

I grab a cracker out of the plastic bag I keep on my nightstand for this very reason, hoping the nausea abates enough for me to go back to sleep.

But I wind up staring at the ceiling, wondering if this is going to be the norm for the rest of my pregnancy.

I reach for my phone and shift positions, hoping the nausea will go the fuck away.

I didn’t have this much during my first pregnancy.

Of course, I was seventeen then, and this is almost a decade later.

Still, I’m only twenty-six. It’s not like I’m old.

Maybe that just means I was having a girl, since my teenage pregnancy resulted in a boy.

It’s just after five, and I have a feeling I’m up for the day, which means there will probably be a nap in my plans. It’s Saturday, so I’m working, but I don’t like to screw up my routine any more than I have to. Plus, there’s a lot to do since we just moved into a new house.

Miikka is a big help when he’s home, but he’s gone a lot during hockey season.

Normally, I don’t mind. My last pregnancy was relatively easy and comfortable, from a physical perspective, so I was excited to do it again.

And I’m still excited about the baby. I just didn’t expect the nausea and vomiting to be so bad.

Grimacing, I get to my feet and make a beeline for the bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach.

This sucks.

And there’s no one to hold my hair or tell me everything is going to be okay.

I try not to be so needy, but morning sickness is no joke.

I heave twice more before washing my face and brushing my teeth.

Then I make my way back to bed, wondering how I’m going to finish the school year if this keeps up.

I can’t just run to the bathroom every ten minutes with a class full of five-year-olds.

Miikka wants me to stop working, but the plan is to finish the school year since it’s almost March.

I’m reconsidering that now, though. Between the nausea and vomiting, fatigue, and mood swings, getting up and going to work every day is harder than I imagined it would be.

Giving up teaching will be difficult, though, because I normally love it.

And deep down, I know once I leave I’m not going back.

Not only do we not need the money—Miikka does very well as a professional hockey player—I’m not going to be comfortable putting our children in daycare or even leaving them with a nanny.

There are decisions to be made, and probably sooner rather than later.

I reach for my phone and scan social media, giving myself a few extra minutes in bed to relax. It’s good to distract myself from my internal struggle about whether or not to keep working and finish the school year. Can I make it another three months if this morning sickness continues?

Maybe.

Lots of women do.

The difference is that I don’t have to.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and I smile at my husband’s text.

MIIKKA: Why are you awake so early? Are you feeling sick again?

CHARLI: Stop stalking me! LOL

MIIKKA: I cannot help that you like every post you see on Facebook.

I laugh.

CHARLI: Well, why are you on Facebook instead of doing hockey things?

MIIKKA: I AM doing hockey things—hockey breakfast with hockey teammates before we leave for hockey arena to have hockey practice.

I snort.

CHARLI: Yeah yeah. Whatever, my dude.

MIIKKA: My dude? I am now your dude? Is this a good thing or bad thing?

Miikka is Finnish, and though his English is much better than it was before we met, I always trip him up with Americanisms and slang.

CHARLI: Of course it’s a good thing. You’re mine. My husband, my lover, my dude. It’s all the same thing.

MIIKKA: I love you, muruseni.

I loved his Finnish term of endearment for me. Though we’re texting, in my mind I can hear his rich voice, filled with love, as he says the word.

CHARLI: I love you too. When are you coming home?

MIIKKA: Today if you ask me to.

CHARLI: Have I told you you’re the best husband ever?

MIIKKA: Not today.

CHARLI: Well, you are.

MIIKKA: Good to know. How’s your stomach?

CHARLI: Miserable. Nausea woke me up, and I’ve already puked. Aren’t you glad you’re in Boston instead of here?

MIIKKA: No! Never. I wish I was there to hold your hair and carry you back to bed.

CHARLI: It’s a good thing you’re so sweet or I’d be really mad you did this to me.

MIIKKA: I am sorry you are sick. I wish it could be me.

CHARLI: Me too. Anyway, I’m going to order groceries because a big storm is supposed to be headed this way.

MIIKKA: Make sure the generator is working. I tested it before I left and it was fine, but test it again. It’s important.

CHARLI: I will.

MIIKKA: I have to go, but I’ll call after practice, okay? I love you.

CHARLI: I love you too. Have a good practice.

I almost put down my phone but then go back to the texting app, pulling up Sara’s name.

CHARLI: Hey, what are you doing?

SARA: Just waking up. What are you doing up so early?

CHARLI: Is that a trick question?

SARA: Morning sickness?

CHARLI: My favorite.

SARA: Well, Baby Girl Ferrar is being feisty this morning as well. I’ve been up since four.

CHARLI: Ugh. Want to go to breakfast in a while? Are you going to work?

SARA: Yes to breakfast, no to work. I’m tired and Dr. Harjo said he didn’t need me today.

Sara is a veterinary technician.

CHARLI: I’m going to shower and try to make myself feel human. I’ll text you once I’m ready. Are you going to try to go back to sleep?

SARA: Nah. I’m watching decorating videos on YouTube. I’m trying to get some ideas on how to decorate the nursery while Aaron’s out of town. We’re going to start working on it when he gets back.

CHARLI: That’s so exciting! I can’t wait to see it. We have no ideas yet.

SARA: Ha! Well, it’s earlier for you than me, so I don’t have as much time as you.

CHARLI: LOL Okay. How about I pick you up about eight? Does that work?

SARA: Sure. Want to see if Whitney and Laurel want to come? Laurel’s pissed the doctor wouldn’t let her travel with the team. We might need to cheer her up.

CHARLI: How about you text them and ask while I shower?

SARA: I’ll let you know what they say.

CHARLI: Tell them I can pick them up since it’s on the way.

SARA: Will do.

CHARLI: See you soon!

I put down my phone and go into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

The primary bathroom in our new house is the most decadent room I ever imagined.

Miikka went all out with the house, putting small but important touches in almost every room.

Everything from special lighting in the bedrooms to our very fancy generators to the cascading waterfall showerheads that make me feel like I’m in a spa.

I love the life Miikka and I are building, and having a baby is part of it, so I’m trying not to be grumpy about how shitty I feel. It’s hard to think about good things when I feel so awful physically, but I’m doing my level best.

The doctor said there are meds I can take to help with the nausea.

I’ve resisted so far because I don’t want to put anything in my system unless I have to. I might have to rethink that, though. I still have a long way to go, and I’m no good to anyone if I’m this grumpy.

Miikka and I are going to have to discuss it when he gets home.

Nothing is going to happen today, though.

Today I’m going to see my friends, and that usually cheers me up. I’m even going to put on makeup. If that doesn’t improve my mood, nothing will.

And I’ll keep telling myself that until it does.