Page 7 of Bliss

Callie

When Alex opened the front door, she was scowling, or wincing, and it caused Callie’s smile to drop and she slightly turned, preparing to walk back to her car. “Sorry. I know I’m a few minutes early. I… Should I go?”

“What? No, no, come in.” The scowl deepened into a look of pain, as she reached out and relieved Callie of the soft-shell insulated bag she was carrying.

“Are you hurt?”

Nodding, Alex closed the door as Callie stepped inside, and she explained, “I kinked my left shoulder in my last session at the gym. An idiot jock tried to show off for a group of young women and way overestimated how much he could bench press. The guy I was training and I had to rescue him. But he didn’t have the weights correctly secured to the bar, and some slid off in the process, causing the whole bar to shift and I kinked my shoulder when I had to compensate. I did some stretches and iced it for fifteen minutes. I’m hoping it will be better by morning.”

“Would it help if I massage it?”

“That depends. Are you a Phoebe or a Monica?”

“Phoebe or Monica?” Callie thoughtfully tilted her head, then laughed as she understood the reference to the TV show Friends . “I’m not a professional like Phoebe was, but I’ve never hurt anyone like Monica did. Would you like me to try?”

“Yeah,” Alex answered, as she set the bag down on the kitchen island with another wince. “If you really don’t mind, that would be great. But we can eat first. You must be starving from waiting this long to eat with me.”

“I wouldn’t have offered, if I didn’t want to do it.” Callie pulled the bag over closer to herself and opened it. “And I ate a little bit when I got home to hold me over.” She pulled out three glass containers. “We need plates, forks, and knives.”

Alex quickly grabbed the items, then watched Callie dish up super tender pot roast, roasted carrots, mashed potatoes, and steamed green beans.

“Wow. How did you prepare a roast dinner so quickly?”

Smiling, Callie answered, “I have an Instant Pot . It cooks a roast in no time.”

“Well, if it tastes as incredible as it looks and smells, you’ll have to teach me the ways of this magical device.” Callie laughed, and as she picked up their plates to carry to the dining room table, Alex asked, “What would you like to drink? I have a few more beers, or I can open a bottle of wine. I have a great pinot from the Willamette Valley in Oregon. I went on a wine buying spree from that region after reading Crush by Ana Hartnett-Reichardt.”

“Wine sounds good. And I loved that book.”

Alex carried in two wineglasses and a bottle of pinot noir. Using a wine key, she cut away the foil wrap, and after several twists, she extracted the cork with a wet pop. After she poured both of them a glass, she sat down next to Callie, holding up her glass. Callie smiled and mimicked her.

“Cheers to the Instant Pot and the beautiful chef who knows how to use it.”

Blushing and laughing, Callie bashfully shook her head, but she clinked glasses with Alex. “Cheers. And thank you. I hope you like it.”

After they took a sip of wine, Alex picked up her fork and knife. “Well, let’s see.”

Callie held her breath, while she watched Alex lift her fork to her mouth and pull off the bite of tender beef with her soft lips. Callie’s core flip-flopped in pleasure, watching her eyes close and mouth slowly work to chew. When Alex released a small moan, and licked her lips, Callie’s clitoris spasmed, and she nearly forgot she was waiting on Alex’s verdict on the taste of her cooking.

“Oh, babe, this is delicious.”

Callie’s heart fluttered from the term of affection and compliment. And when Alex opened her eyes, locking in on Callie’s, Callie couldn’t resist the allure of the sweet, gentle, strong, and interesting woman. She leaned in, and Alex’s lips formed a smile beneath hers, before she returned the kiss.

As Callie pulled away, Alex lightly brushed her fingers through her hair, and told her, “Thank you for cooking dinner for us. This is really amazing.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it.”

While they ate, and sipped the most delicious pinot noir Callie had ever tasted, they talked more about their day. Callie loved hearing more about Alex’s clients, and she cracked up when Alex told her about Katherine wanting to commission an artist to paint a portrait of her in the nude. And it warmed her chest with joy and hope when Alex seemed interested in her work, asking some questions and commenting here and there, but not once did she try to tell Callie how she should have handled a situation or conversation.

Over time, Callie had stopped talking to Britton about work or interactions with other people, unless she dragged it out of her, because Britton couldn’t just listen; she always had to tell Callie what she should have said or done differently. Nothing Callie said or did was right or enough.

Leaning back in the chair with her hands on her flat stomach, Alex groaned, “I’m stuffed.” She tilted her head to look at Callie with a somewhat sleepy grin. “That was really amazing. Super delicious. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Callie bent and kissed her smiling lips. “Stay here or go sit in the living room and I’ll join you in a few. I’m going to clean up.”

“I’ll help.” As she tried to sit up and grab her plate, Callie pushed down on her shoulder, and she pouted as she slumped back down in her seat. “You cooked. I should wash up.”

“And any other time, I’d appreciate that trade off. But you have a pinched shoulder. Let me handle it, Alex. Please.”

Alex dramatically deepened her pout, flipping her bottom lip out, and Callie quickly darted forward and sucked the lip into her mouth, eliciting a sweet moan. When she released Alex’s lip with a sucking pop, her eyes were slightly glazed over and her cheeks were tinged pink.

“Okay, I surrender. I’ll bring the wine and glasses out to the living room.”

“Thank you.”

Callie watched her walk into the living room, before she gathered their plates and utensils and carried them to the kitchen sink. While she was scrubbing a plate with a soapy sponge, Daphne sauntered into the kitchen, performed her ritual serpentine around her legs, then planted herself in the small space between Callie’s legs and the cabinets below the sink and gave her double-chirp greeting. Callie quickly rinsed and dried her hands on her jeans, then stepped back so she could squat down and hovered her right hand above the beautiful orange and white cat’s head.

“Hello, Daphne. I was wondering when I’d get to see you.” Daphne purred as she leaned up into Callie’s hand, so she scratched her ears and chin, before giving her long strokes along her back. A minute later, Daphne chirped once and took a few quick steps away from her, looking side to side. “Your mommy is in the living room.”

As if understanding, Daphne sprinted across the kitchen and around the corner to the living room.

Callie quickly finished washing and rinsing the dishes, and after they were neatly placed in the drying rack, she put the containers of leftovers in the fridge.

When she walked into the living room, Alex had a fire burning in the fireplace, and Daphne was curled up like a loaf on Alex’s lap, purring while her mommy petted her.

“Will she get jealous if I sit next to you?”

Alex smiled and shook her head, so Callie sat on the comfortable leather sofa, not leaving any space between them. Daphne barely opened her eyes to acknowledge her. But when Alex slid her free hand into Callie’s, lacing their fingers together to rest on Callie’s thigh, Daphne opened her eyes, looked between them, then stretched out one of her front paws, gently resting it on their joined hands.

Both of them quietly laughed, and Daphne released a single chirp, before her eyes slid closed and she pulled her paw back to tuck under herself.

“Has she ever done that before?”

Alex shook her head while looking at her cat curiously. “Nope. Never. Since she didn’t swipe at us with her claws, I’m going to assume it was her way of offering approval, or she was just mimicking us to be a part of the moment.”

“So … we’ve just entered into a throuple with Daphne?” Callie asked, with a teasing grin, and Alex’s head fell back with a hard laugh.

Daphne lifted her head, narrowing an annoyed glare at Alex, then leapt off her lap and leapt up onto the cat bed on the right side of the stone hearth of the fireplace.

“I think you offended her.”

“I’m sorry for offending you with my laughter, Princess Daphne.” Alex laughed again, then reached forward for her wineglass, and Callie did the same. After taking a sip of wine, she asked, “Do you like to cook?”

Callie nodded while swallowing a sip of wine. “Yes, I love it. I find the whole process very relaxing. And it makes me feel close to my grandmother. She lived across the street from us when I was young, and she got me and my younger brother off the school bus and watched us until our parents got home from work, which was always after dinner time. We were given one hour to play or watch TV, then we had to help prepare dinner, and we did our homework while it cooked, and if we had a heavy load, we finished after dinner. We always brought the leftovers home for Mom and Dad, and after they ate, we watched a movie or played a game together before we had to go to bed. Sorry,” Callie blushed as she looked down at her wine. “That was more than you asked for and…”

“Callie,” Alex softly said, as she gently pinched her chin, drawing her gaze up. “Thank you for sharing that with me. It sounds like you had a wonderful and unique relationship with your grandmother. Is she no longer with you?”

Callie’s eyes dampened as she shook her head. “She passed away three years ago. Her death…” Callie’s words suddenly felt too thick and heavy to speak, so she cleared her throat. As Alex slipped her hand from hers and wrapped her arm around her shoulders, pulling her in closer, a sense of comfort and safety gave her the strength to continue. “Her death anniversary is next month.”

She leaned into Alex’s strong chest and took a sip of wine, before continuing, “She was my best friend. Even after I graduated high school and moved out of my parents’ house, I went to see her at least once a week. For the first few years after I left home, I had roommates, but she still came to see me at my apartment too, and when I found a place that I could afford on my own, we saw each other three or four times a week, whether at her house or my apartment. You’d think with balancing work and college it’d be hard to see each other so often, but seeing her actually made everything else easier. I was able to talk to her about anything and everything. She was…” Callie laughed and shook her head. “She had an amazing sense of humor, she loved all people, and she was just…” Callie sighed, as she smiled. “She was pure sunshine. And I miss her.”

Callie looked down as her jaw tensed, trying to get a grip on her emotions so she didn’t turn into a blubbering mess in front of Alex. “My parents used to call her a Jesus-loving hippy.” Callie affectionately laughed at the term. “She was probably one of the best examples of a true Christian — judge not lest ye be judged , hate the sin but love the person , we’re all sinners and it’s not our place to determine which sins are greater or lesser , and all that. I was in sixth grade when I realized I’m gay. I was, am, a lesbian. I was so afraid to talk to my parents about it because they tended to lean more towards conservative values, but I didn’t hesitate to talk to Nana Mora about it.”

Callie smiled at the memory. She looked up into Alex’s supportive, smiling gaze. “She told me she’d already suspected it for a few years, and she was so happy I’d learned to understand something so important about myself on my own and at such an early age. Anyway, Nana was… She was always loving and supportive, and when she had to discipline us for being naughty at school or refusing to do our homework, she was patient and challenged us, instead of yelling or demanding something from us. Like, one time, I just didn’t want to do my math homework and I told her I’d rather help her in the kitchen. You know what she did? She pulled out a bread recipe and her measuring cups and spoons and told me to triple the recipe. I couldn’t make three individual batches. I had to make one batch that was triple the recipe.”

“How old were you?”

“Nine, I think. I struggled with mentally multiplying the fractions, so she gave me a piece of paper and pencil and I tried to work out the equations on my own. I got most of them correct, but when I got one wrong, she tapped it, and said, ‘Rethink this one,’ and I had to try to figure out where I went wrong. She kept checking my work, and when she approved it and allowed me to make the bread, I realized something my teacher and parents had never explained to me before — the math I learned in school could have real-life applications. I never fought Nana again on doing my homework, but I always tried to finish as quickly as possible to spend time with her, whether it was in the kitchen or the garden.”

Smiling, Alex asked, “So, you’re a fantastic cook, and you have a green thumb?”

Callie laughed with blushing cheeks, and told her, “I don’t know if I’d say that, but Nana taught me some tricks with herbs, tomatoes, and peppers. I have a small container garden on the balcony of my apartment.”

“Seriously?” Alex beamed. “I would love to see that.”

Alex’s smile suddenly dropped and her gaze zeroed in on the crackling fire in the fireplace. While her eyes focused on the flames, her right hand mindlessly twirled the last couple of ounces of wine around her glass.

“Alex?”

Alex practically jumped at Callie’s voice, but her host forced a smile, and asked, “Sorry, did I miss something?”

“No, but…” Alex had barely glanced in her direction, before staring into the fire again, feeling like she was a million miles away. “What happened?”

“What?” Alex finally fully turned her head to face her, her brow furrowed and her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Alex, what were you thinking about?”

Alex just looked away, staring into the fireplace for several moments, before she quietly answered, “Nothing.”

“Alex, please talk to me.”

After several moments of silence, Daphne suddenly stood upright, looking between the two of them, then sprinted across the room and leapt into Alex’s lap. She placed her front paws on Alex’s chest, brushing her cheeks on either side of her jaw, licked the underside of her chin, then curled up into a loaf on her lap. Alex smiled as she stroked her feline companion, and Callie chose not to comment on the fact that Alex didn’t have to wait for Daphne to lean into her hand before she could touch her. The cat had clearly picked up on an emotion from her human companion that Callie couldn’t even name, and that made her feel inadequate and unnecessary.

She stood up, saying, “I should go,” but Alex caught her hand.

“Please don’t. Not yet.”

“Alex, I…” She made the mistake of looking into the beautiful, pleading, whiskey eyes. “Shit. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I…” Like I’m the stars and the moon , Callie wanted to say but couldn’t. Still standing, she explained, “Don’t look at me like you want me, all of me, if you don’t.”

Alex’s brow furrowed, and with her hand still holding Callie’s, she asked, “Why would you think I don’t want all of you? When did I give you that impression?”

Callie extracted her hand from Alex’s and took a couple of steps backwards. “I… I don’t know. Maybe that’s not it. But after I told you I have a garden on my balcony, your mood changed. If you don’t want to talk, I should go.” Callie turned, pointing her thumb towards the front of the house. “You can call or text me when you want to…” She gasped as Alex suddenly stood up, gripping both of her arms — not painfully — and pulled her in close.

“I don’t want you to leave, Callie. I’m sorry I…”

Unhearing and struggling with old memories, Callie demanded, “Let go,” and she ripped her arms free and stumbled backwards. “Don’t… Don’t touch me.”

Alex threw her hands in the air, and with wide eyes, she pleaded, “I’m sorry, Callie, I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to… Shit, I’m so sorry. Callie, please believe me, I wasn’t trying to assault you or to hold you against your will. I…” A tear fell down Alex’s left cheek. “I’m so sorry, Callie. I’m sorry. I just wanted to try to explain myself, my past. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

With tears streaming down her own cheeks, Callie leapt forward with a sob, throwing her arms around Alex. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have tried to leave. I should have just sat with you, offered support and understanding, if you weren’t ready to talk. I know that’s what’s right and normal. But my ex was… It was different with her and I didn’t… I’m so fucked up and…”

“No, stop.” Alex tightened her embrace and soothingly ran her hand over her hair. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Callie. You’re wonderful.”

“You’re wonderful. You’ve been a dream.” Callie meant it, even more so after Alex’s response to her becoming triggered from the situation. Callie knew before she even agreed to meet Alex that if she started dating again, the scars she’d worked so hard to heal after Britton could resurface in any number of circumstances or conversations. Those scars had nearly cost her the chance to get to know Alex and possibly her friendship with Joselynn. This was the second time in just a few days that the scars of the past had weaseled their way into her present, hitting like a ground-splitting earthquake. Luckily, Alex saw the value in crossing the chasm together.

They continued to hold each other for a couple of minutes, before Alex exhaled hard and slowly pulled back enough to meet Callie’s tearful gaze.

“You asked me why I shut down when you were talking about your garden. I used to have a balcony garden like yours. But when I started taking on in-home clients to grow my business and so I could save more for a down payment on a house, it cut into my time at home, so I asked Tina, my ex, to help me with watering in the evenings. When I should have been harvesting tomatoes and peppers, I was staring at wilted, dead plants. She claimed she had watered them like I had asked — she was always at my apartment when I got home — but something just didn’t sit right with me. I’d had a container garden on my balcony three summers in a row and never experienced anything like that before. I had the soil tested to see what I had done wrong, and I found out she had been watering my plants with bleach water. I don’t even know why she did it, because when I told her the lab results, she just said that was weird. When I asked her outright if she’d put bleach in the watering can, she told me not to be stupid, that she wouldn’t ever do something like that, then told me I had probably done it because I was too tired from working too many hours and watered them with the mop water or something. She killed my plants and gaslit me, tried to make me believe I’d done it.”

Alex quickly looked away, hiding her emotions, but Callie could still see how the memory caused her jaw and shoulders to tense. “Alex, I…” She gently placed a hand on her opposite cheek, encouraging her to turn and look at her. When their eyes met, Callie’s filled with fresh tears, and she quickly kissed Alex on the lips. “I won’t apologize for something someone else did to you. But I understand the betrayal you felt. My ex was… Well, I’m not ready to tell you everything about my ex, but she was never satisfied with anything I did and constantly made me feel like a failure or like I wasn’t enough for her, always demanding that I be better. She made me feel like I had to constantly do something to earn her love and attention. I should have seen through her bullshit sooner, especially after friends started seeing what was going on and told me it wasn’t right. It didn’t start out that way, but I was in a constant state of fight or flight and confusion in the end. This… You feel different. But…”

“I am different, and I’m going to continue proving that to you, Callie. Will you please stay a little longer?”

“Yes, I want to stay. And I still owe you a back massage.”

Alex’s face lit up with a brilliant smile. “I forgot about that.”

Callie tilted her head and lifted her brows. “Did you also forget about your pain?”

“Oh, no, that I haven’t forgotten. It won’t let me.”

“Okay.” Callie lightly gripped her biceps. “Take your shirt off and lie down.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Alex crooned, then ripped her tee shirt up over her head.

Callie’s cheeks instantly heated and her mouth salivated at the sight of Alex’s beautiful, smooth, honey skin and chiseled abs.

“Maybe you should put that back on.” The words came out as a raspy whisper as Callie’s fingers trembled at her sides, the desire to trace the segmented abdominal muscles, the curve of her ribs and hips, and her palm-sized breasts was nearly too difficult to resist.

And it didn’t help when Alex stepped in closer, leaving barely an inch between them, and bowed her head to plant a firm, sucking kiss on her lips.

“I will if it would make you more comfortable. Are you uncomfortable, Callie?”

“Yes, but in a good way,” Callie choked out the answer, her eyes locked on Alex’s mouth. She swallowed hard and gently pressed a hand against Alex’s abs. “Lie down.”

Alex gave her a soft, lingering kiss on her lips, further stoking Callie’s desire, then walked around the coffee table and stretched out on the floor in front of the fireplace, resting her head in the cradle of her folded arms. Callie’s chest rose with a deep breath of appreciation for the lines and curves of Alex’s strong back, and the way her relaxed-fit jeans perfectly hugged her firm, rounded ass. As she straddled Alex’s waist, the heat growing within her competed with the heat radiating from the fireplace.

With slightly trembling fingers, Callie gently traced the curves of Alex’s shoulders and down her back to her waist, then pressed her palms into her lower back and pushed upwards along the sides of her spine. Alex released a breathy sound, then moaned as Callie gripped her shoulders, circling her thumbs into the thick muscles.

“Oh, God, that feels good.”

Callie smiled as she lowered her hands some, digging her thumbs in to trace under Alex’s shoulder blades.

“Oh, shit, right there, that’s the spot,” Alex groaned, and although it wasn’t meant to be sexual, the breathy comment increased the throbbing between Callie’s thighs. “You are definitely not a Monica.”

The humorous compliment slightly parted the red cloud of lust encircling Callie, making her fall forward with a laugh. Alex’s body bounced beneath her with her shared laughter. But when Callie planted a kiss on the back of her neck, she fell still and sighed.

“I’m glad you like the way the massage feels.”

“Understatement. You feel amazing.” Alex quickly amended, “Your hands feel amazing,” then laughed, and said, “Yeah, it sounds like something else either way I say it.”

Smiling, Callie dug her fingers into her shoulders, eliciting a deep moan, but she didn’t respond. Words were too dangerous. Words would lead to flirting, and flirting would only lead to an innocent massage transforming into something much more passionate, and possibly sex, and Callie didn’t think they were ready for that. They were still learning how to trust each other, learning how to not allow what their exes did to them to spoil what they were trying to build. It was obvious they had great physical chemistry, and when they felt sure about each other, the sex would be that much better. For now, Callie wanted to enjoy the intimacy of caring for a different kind of physical need of Alex’s.