Page 18 of Blindside Me (Cessna U Hockey #3)

My smile is gone when he ends the call and turns back to me. “Popular tonight, aren’t we?”

“It’s nothing.” He shoves his phone back in his pocket. “It was nothing. Just a classmate.”

“Right. Well, don’t let me keep you from your fan club.” I drop my brush in the water jar, hard enough to splash. “Captain Overkill.”

He flinches at the nickname, catching the edge in my voice. “Why are you mad?”

I start cleaning up, but my movements are too sharp and efficient. Why am I mad? We’re not dating. We’re not anything. But do I like hearing him make plans with another girl? No. And that’s the scary part.

I shake off his question. “Why would I be mad? We barely hooked up. You can talk to whoever you want.”

He scoots closer as I gather supplies. “Are you mad because I didn’t shut her down fast enough?”

I whirl, almost bumping his chest. “You didn’t shut her down at all. You didn’t even tell her you were with someone.”

“I didn’t realize I was with someone.” His eyes search mine.

That stings more than I want to admit. But isn’t that what I’ve been avoiding? Labels. Expectations. The risk of caring too much.

“I just meant tonight. You didn’t tell her you were with someone right now.”

“But do you want more?”

I look down, gripping a paint jar. I could lie and say there’s no way we could ever be more, especially given the no-fly zone my uncle placed around me. I could also change the subject. But maybe it’s time I stop running.

“I honestly don’t know. It seems complicated right now.”

“The timing is off, but that sort of thing can’t be dictated, right?”

“You don’t understand. It’s more than my uncle forbidding you to date me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know why I transferred here?”

“Just that you got into some sort of trouble.” He shrugs, almost smiling. “Which doesn’t surprise me.”

I punch his arm playfully. “I transferred to Cessna because of my ex.”

That gets his attention. He waits, letting me continue. “Roman’s a senior, already drafted into the NHL. We were going to do long-distance. We even talked it out.”

Drew goes still, as recognition flashes in his eyes. “Roman. As in Roman Beaulier?”

“The very one.”

“Fuck.” He scrubs a hand through his dark hair, exhaling hard. “That does complicate things.”

“Yeah.”

“So what happened?”

“The day after our talk, I came back to my dorm early and found him with my roommate.”

Drew’s jaw clenches. His hands curl at his sides. “Jesus.”

“But that’s not the worst part. He knew how to make it hurt.”

“He hit you?”

“No! Not like that. I just meant…” I pause, swallowing past the lump of despair that’s been my life.

“Everyone who’s ever been close to me has left.

My dad died when I was seven. It’s not his fault, but Mom checked out after that.

I already told you how she chases the next guy.

She’s never around. Once, she was gone so long that I stayed with my uncle.

But when he got the head hockey job at Cessna, he left. ” He didn’t want me either.

“Coach left you?” Anger laces his tone, but I shake my head. I have to be careful. I don’t want him to hate his coach. That’s bad for the team. And as much as I’d like to stick it to my uncle, I can’t have the team fall apart.

“It’s complicated.”

“How?”

“He didn’t have legal guardianship and couldn’t pass up the coaching job.” That’s mostly true. He didn’t have custody of me. The living arrangement was temporary. Mom was always in and out.

“That sounds selfish.”

I brush it off like it doesn’t matter. “It was a long time ago. Don’t let it get to you.”

“I still don’t like it.”

“Thanks, but I’m handling things with my uncle.”

Drew’s mouth tightens, but I keep going. “I accused Roman of cheating once. He denied it and threw my past in my face. Said, ‘No wonder you don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like.’ That wrecked me.”

My voice cracks. Drew’s fists clench tighter.

“I should’ve ended it then, but I believed him. Up until I caught him with my roommate.”

“Fuck. That’s … I don’t know what to say. I’ve always hated that guy. I’m glad I got a few punches in.”

“I’m not one to advocate for violence, but I’m not sorry you did.” A thought hits me. They’ll meet again on the ice. They have a home game against them soon. “Just don’t do it again.”

His lips twitch. “Make no promises, Trouble.”

“Seriously. Don’t do anything stupid. He’s not worth losing a career over.”

That sobers him. “So, you left after you caught him?”

“Not right away. But I went a little off the rails.”

“What’d you do?”

“I threw red paint all over a mural that the art class spent a semester on. Something about eternity and forever love.” I laugh, but it’s brittle. “The paint never came off. I’m a campus legend.”

I abandon the paintbrush and press my palms to my thighs, bracing myself for his judgment. Or worse, say nothing.

His face softens. “You got kicked out for that?”

“Not technically. But I burned too many bridges. Made it easier to leave.”

“Then, your uncle got you into Cessna?”

I nod. “Pulled strings. Promised I’d keep my head down.”

He is quiet for a moment. Then, he picks up his brush again and begins swirling a deep green into his painting. I think the conversation is over, but then he clears his throat.

“My brother used to be the one everyone talked about. The true campus legend.”

I blink, startled by the shift in his voice.

“Jake Klaas. He was faster. Flashier. My dad thought he’d be the one in the family to go pro.”

I glance at him, surprised. “You said he had an accident. Did that end his career?”

“It ended his life.” His brush moves again, smoother now.

“He was a great player, but he partied too much. His game slipped after he got involved with a girl. Scouts noticed. After one bad report, Dad blamed his girlfriend. They got into a huge screaming match. Dad told him to pick hockey or the girl. Jake chose the girl. After too many drinks, he peeled out of the driveway and wrapped his car around a tree. Now, my dad acts like he never existed. And I’m the replacement. ”

My throat tightens. “That’s a lot to carry.”

He nods. “Coach knows. He sees it. He tries to help. But I can’t screw up, Jade. Not once. If I do, I will become just like him.”

“You’re not Jake.”

“I want to believe that.”

“I think you already do,” I say. “You’re just waiting for permission.”

His eyes meet mine. “You giving it to me?”

I nod. “Yeah. I am.”

When he doesn’t say anything, I add, “You’re already enough, Drew. You just don’t believe it yet.”

For the first time since we started this strange, slow orbit around each other, it feels like gravity finally pulled us into the same place. Messy and unspoken, but real.