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S omebody was speaking.

I had no flesh.

No form.

I drifted along in a vast void of nothing and the strength it took to keep my very being cohesive required all I had.

“ Stay .”

The voice came from somewhere.

I didn’t know the speaker.

Her voice might have been familiar.

I thought maybe it was.

In the void where I drifted, a figure came together, like particles of light coalescing into a whole and then that being took flesh. A woman stood before me and she caught my shoulders. Her hands were so cold, they burned. I tried to break away but her grip was relentless.

“ Look at me, Kitasa!”

My ears rang from the force of her voice.

“Kitasa,” I said slowly.

The woman’s face seemed to crumple for a fraction of a moment and then it turned hard and expressionless, her brilliant blue eyes flashing brightly before they settled into an icy flat stare.

“ Kitasa ,” she said again. “That is who you are. That is the name your mother gave you. To your lover and your friends, you are Kit .”

“Lover?” The word felt alien. I had a lover? And friends? I existed outside this moment?

The woman shook me. “ Yes ,” she said. “You have a lover. Friends. A family you’ve made of your own. People who love you and need you.”

“I don’t remember them.” I tried to pull away from her. Her grip was too tight. I couldn’t do anything to dislodge her. “Who are you?”

Her mouth went tight and in her eyes, I saw something that made me wonder if she’d answer. Then I wondered if she’d lie.

Would I know if she did?

A small, quiet voice from somewhere deep inside told me, yes…you’ll know .

And would I care?

That was harder to figure out.

“I’m you,” she said softly. “In another time. An outcast. Somebody who didn’t fit in—somebody who forged her own path. In the end, it cost me everything. I will not allow that to happen to you. Don’t fade on me, Kitasa.”

The emotion in her voice called to me.

Slowly, I lifted a hand and touched her cheek. Her skin was icy cold under my fingers.

“Would it matter so much if I faded?” I asked softly.

“ Yes .” She covered my hand with hers. “You have people who love you. And you love them .”

Ice gripped me now. That ice anchored me to the word and the chance to drift away was out of my reach. I wanted to sob and scream at the unfairness. I was tired. So tired.

But I couldn’t break contact with the woman in front of me. It wasn’t just a physical touch that anchored me. There was something else—something deeper.

“If I love them, why don’t I remember them?” I asked. Looking deep inside myself, I found nothing. There were empty, gaping voids and spaced out between those voids were raw, open wounds. She wanted me to return to that ? To that… nothing ?

She seized my face in her hands and forced me to make eye contact. “ That isn’t your life—it’s not your reality. You’re caught in between. You were pulled into the dream paths of another—that of a young man you’re trying to help. You’re not skilled in walking the dream paths and you were thrown with nothing to anchor you.” Her fingers flexed against my skull before she released me. “Kit…without anchors, many of our kind go mad when they try to walk these paths. You’re still whole . Hold on. Stay with me.”

“I’m not whole.” Panic fluttered inside my chest and my heart raced, hard and fast. I had the sensation that it wanted to explode, just break free of my rib cage. “I don’t remember you.”

“But you remember you . Deep inside. You can’t deny who you are .” Her eyes burned that hot, intense blue again and she grabbed onto my head, dragged my face close to hers. “Look at me.”

I didn’t want to.

But her hold was inexorable and her gaze was magnetic.

The moment our eyes locked, the ephemeral space around me twisted away and I was…somebody.

A big, heavily muscled male stood in front of me, face grim, eyes the color of thunderheads boring into mine as he leaned closer. “We all have weaknesses. Me, I like a stacked redhead, cold beer, and pizza. I hear you have a soft spot for kids…can’t stand to see them hurt.”

“Beer is kind of pointless, seeing as how most of you burn through it before you can get drunk.”

I heard my voice—I knew it was mine. But I didn’t recognize it.

The male just smirked. “Hey. I like the taste.” Still smiling, he dropped a picture in front of me. “He’s sixteen.”

I looked down and it was like being stabbed in the heart. A familiar face. Painful in some ways even though I didn’t understand why.

He looked too young, too childlike to be a teenager.

“No fucking way.”

He smiled, a sardonic twitch of his lips that made my heart skitter for reasons I didn’t understand. “We tend to mature a little later. He’s…hitting later than most. His name is Doyle. He’s my Lady’s nephew and he’s been missing for a week.”

My Lady. My gut twisted at the title. I should know who that is, I thought.

But I didn’t.

Who’s the boy? Why does looking at him hurt?

I tried to ask.

But those words wouldn’t come.

The male opened his mouth and everything froze, twisted.

Reality turned fluid and for a moment, I was just floating in nothingness again. Lost in a place where time had no meaning and I was free from pain, from worry, confusion…from everything.

The woman’s icy cold hands kept me from twisting away and I shoved against her, trying to break free. I should know how to do that—

Shouldn’t I?

“Let me go !” I fought her hold, but it was like I was made of smoke, everywhere except where she gripped me.

“You have to hold on !” Her voice vibrated.

I felt it echoing through me, filling me.

Flooding me.

And I exploded—that’s how it felt. I knew I didn’t because I had no form. I didn’t seem to exist except in thought—and for a few seconds, not even that.

Reality twisted and reformed around me again.

I was in an office—it was familiar. My office? It was the same place I’d been earlier, talking to the big guy with dark hair and light eyes. I’d been behind the desk and he’d showed me a picture of a teenage boy.

He wasn’t there now.

There was another man, though, standing at the door of my office while I stood across from him. He studied me with concern, the skin around his bright, vivid green eyes tightening as he said, “If you got that much trouble, you know I’ll help if I can.”

“Well…you’re not here much.” I heard my own voice. I knew it was mine but I had no idea what I was talking about.

“Who are you?” I tried to ask.

But that wasn’t what came out.

Instead, I just shrugged. “Besides, it’s not trouble, really. It’s caution.”

I wanted to scream. What in the hell was going on?

I couldn’t form the words to ask. Turning, I walked away from him and sat behind my desk. Yes…it was my desk. It felt familiar. As he started to pace the office, I tossed something onto the surface of the desk. Charms. Okay. I knew what charms were.

Was that a good sign?

The man stopped in front of the wall that held my weapons, right in front of a compound bow.

“I didn’t think you liked modern weapons.” He looked back at me as he spoke.

“I don’t usually. But that one is pretty nice.” What does it matter what kind of weapons I like? Fuck , this is frustrating. “Besides, I don’t have to like them to appreciate their value. You probably know all sorts of magic that you don’t like. Doesn’t mean you can’t use it.”

“Good point.” He turned to face me, walking to take the chair in front of my desk and my heart slammed hard against my ribs, a warning.

Something wasn’t right.

This is going to be bad, I thought.

It’s already bad! I didn’t know who this guy was, what was going on—I didn’t even know who I was—

“You’re going to take a job, Kit.”

Kit —

To my friends, I was called Kit .

“Everything I thought I was, everything I am, it still feels broken, Damon. I have to find me again. Sometimes it feels like I’m coming back, but other times, I remember...”

I heard the words coming out of my mouth.

And when I stopped to look down at my hands, I recognized the shape of them—calloused, long fingers, marked here and there with scars. But then I looked up and around and I wasn’t sure where I was.

It seemed familiar—felt…comfortable, in some strange way, like a place I’d spent time in.

I wasn’t alone.

A male stood close by. The dark-haired guy I’d seen in my office—the one who’d tossed a kid’s picture on my desk.

Damon, my memory supplied.

He watched me with dark, haunted greedy eyes, like he wanted to touch me but didn’t dare.

“I just need to find out who I am again,” I told him in that voice I knew was my own—but I had no idea what I was talking about.

Your memories, I realized. No. My memories. My life. Things I’d done and said and had forgotten.

“And you have to do it without me.” Damon looked so tortured as he said it.

“I can’t stand on my own if you’re always there to pick me up.”

“And when you’re ready to stand on your own?” He was closer now and I could feel the heat of him. My heart raced and I wondered if he heard it.

I shivered and something dark pushed at the edges of my mind.

“I don’t know if that’s going to happen.” Those dark shadows were closer and I wanted to pull away—even if it meant moving closer to him. But I couldn’t control my body. Because this had already happened. I was just reliving the memory.

“You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, baby girl. You’ll make it happen. You don’t know how to stay down. When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.”

He touched me, a gentle stroke down my spine and I wanted to lean into him. “And what if it takes the rest of my life?”

“I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll wait. I…You told me you weren’t ready to hear what I had to say, and that’s fine. I’ll wait for that, too. I’ll wait forever.”

“Kitasa!”

I jerked upright.

I was cold, so cold my teeth chattered.

My lungs didn’t want to work right and I coughed, then sputtered, trying to make myself breathe.

“She’s back,” somebody said distantly.

Hard, heavy arms caught hold of me and I was pulled against a warm chest. The warmth was so welcome, I didn’t think to question it. Shaking, I curled in on myself.

“Kit…fuck…what the hell happened?”

It was a male speaking.

I chanced a look up and found myself the focus of deep, intense gray eyes.

Him .

I heard him saying those words again.

I’ll wait forever .

His name was Damon.

My chest tightened.

Slowly, I disentangled myself from his arms.

A few feet away, a woman hovered. She hunkered on her heels with her elbows braced on her knees and she studied me with speculation. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I looked behind me to see another familiar face.

The blonde from my dream.

My mouth didn’t want to form words just yet and I felt trapped. Looking around, I saw that we were in some small shelter and the sides were undulating. Over the roaring in my ears, I heard the mournful wail of the wind. As cold as I was, I needed fresh air. Crawling past the people watching me, I made for the door and soon stood on a rocky beach, the air cold as I sucked in mouthfuls of it, biting it down like it had been ages since I’d last breathed easily.

Maybe it had.

The tightening in my chest eased.

The roaring in my ears faded.

I heard no movement behind me but I sensed them.

Slowly, I turned to face them, the male and two females.

Two of them, I recognized—but I knew none of them.

“Who are you?” I asked, my throat painfully dry. “And…” I had to clear my throat. “Who am I ?”