Page 4 of Blade and Arrow Origins (Blade and Arrow Security)

NORA

I can’t remember the last time I felt this optimistic.

No. That’s not true.

The last time was the day before we left on that mission, the one that shattered my life into pieces.

Jack was over, and we were in our favorite post-sex position—me cuddled against him, my head resting on his chest, while his fingers trailed lazily through my hair.

He used to love it when I wore my hair down. Jack would say, “Your hair is so gorgeous like this, all wild and fiery, and I love that you only wear it this way for me.”

I did. At work, around the guys, I wanted to maintain the image I’d cultivated ever since I joined the Army.

Capable. Unvarnished. Just another member of the team.

I didn’t want to be seen as a woman—not after fighting so hard to break the stereotypes, proving almost everyone wrong when I finally became one of the very first female Green Berets.

But with Jack… I wanted to be feminine. After months of him breaking down my prickly defenses, I was okay with letting him take care of me sometimes.

Not all the time. I was too independent for that. But with Jack, I learned it was alright to not be the strong one all the time. That we could take turns being strong for each other.

If only I hadn’t forgotten.

That night when everything seemed so perfect—a cozy dinner and movie at my apartment, then making love until we were both exhausted—I actually thought Jack was going to ask about moving in together.

I would have said yes.

As we lay there in bed, Jack turned to me with this serious expression, banked hope in his gaze. But then whatever he was about to say was interrupted by Zane calling to report that our departure time had been moved up and we were being sent to Afghanistan first thing next morning.

Maybe I should have pressed Jack on it. But I didn’t. I thought there’d be time when we got back to talk.

I still remember that night so vividly, wrapped in Jack’s arms, feeling so secure and hopeful and utterly in love.

All the things I’d dreamed of as a kid—a real home instead of just a house of people who rarely spoke to each other, a loving husband, holiday memories, pets or maybe even children—seemed so close I could reach out and touch them.

And then everything fell apart.

I fell apart.

The tiny bubble of optimism deflates and heavy, clinging depression tries to drag me down again. Back to the hole I’d let myself languish in until Cole and Finn came to pull me out.

No.

I jump off the couch and hurry to the front door, flinging it open to let the sunlight in.

Standing in the doorway, the warm California sun kissing my skin, I concentrate on the strategies my counselor taught me. Go outside. Practice mindful breathing. Do a quick body scan. Find five things around me to focus on. Visualize my happy place.

And finally, think of the things I’m grateful for.

I’m still alive. I’m still bruised, but not irrevocably broken. I have a place to live, albeit my mother’s gloomy basement apartment. By some miracle, my teammates haven’t given up on me. And one of my best friends in the world—he’s like a brother, really—is coming to visit me.

Shutting the door behind me, I walk over to a patch of lawn and flop down on it, inhaling the scent of earth and freshly-cut grass.

I lean my head back and close my eyes, letting the sun heat my skin as I try not to think about the inevitable freckles I’m earning just from sitting out here for a few minutes.

Jack always liked my freckles. He’d trace his finger between them, creating little constellations and giving them silly names like Nora’s Belt and Norandromeda and Nora’s Dipper .

Tears I haven’t allowed myself to shed in months burn behind my eyes, so I try that box-breathing technique I learned about in New Mexico. And after a few minutes, it works. I’m back in control and no longer at the risk of losing it out on my mother’s front lawn.

Not that it would matter. Her neighbors probably think I’m crazy already, given the way I’ve acted in the months I’ve been here. Hiding inside for days on end, finally emerging like a person trapped in a cave for months, scrawny and pale and blinking against the light .

But—I check my watch—Cole’s due to arrive any time, and I don’t want to give him another reason to worry about me. He’s had enough of that already.

This time, when I see Cole, I want him to see the stronger Nora I’ve worked to become.

Nowhere near where I used to be, but at least I have some color and muscle tone again.

I’ve been jogging every day, forcing myself to spend at least an hour outside unless it’s raining, and I’m even getting a few hours of sleep a night.

Interrupted by nightmares, maybe, but at least it’s something.

Not how I used to be, though. Frowning, I remember my old self—kickass Nora who wasn’t afraid of anything, the strong Green Beret all my teammates saw as an equal, and never a liability.

Not like now.

I fight to keep myself from spiraling back into self-recrimination, repeating in my head, think of what I’m grateful for. The sun on my face. That my teammates are all still alive. That I’m not in that terrible dark place of six months ago. Cole is about to get here.

Cole. Arriving to talk about some mysterious venture he’s only hinted about so far.

But whenever we’ve talked, he’s sounded the most hopeful I’ve heard in months.

And when he called to say he was coming to visit after stopping in Colorado to see Zane, he said, “I don’t want to explain over the phone, but… it could help all of us, I think.”

So that’s why I’m still hanging on to that bubble of optimism. Cole wouldn’t exaggerate about something like that. If he has an idea—I know it’s something to do with leaving his police job, at least—there’s reason to think it’s good.

Almost as if I summoned him, a rental car pulls up in front of the house, and I could recognize Cole’s profile anywhere. He turns off the engine and turns to give me a quick wave before pushing open the door and getting out.

As he heads across the lawn towards me, he grins and breaks into a jog. “Nor!”

I jump to my feet and move to meet him, stopping a few feet away. My own lips tug up in response, one of the few smiles I’ve managed in ages. “You made it.”

His hand twitches towards me, like he wants to clap me on the shoulder—our standard team greeting—but he hesitates and lets it fall to his side instead.

Sorrow slashes through me. There’s a part of me that wants the contact, but another that fears the memories it could trigger.

Trying to cover the momentary awkwardness, I shove my hands in my pockets and work my smile into something broader. More convincing. “How was the drive?”

“Not too bad.” Cole shrugs. “Long, but I listened to some audiobooks, made some calls, plus it gave me plenty of time to think.”

“And the visit with Zane? It was good?”

“Yeah.” He smirks. “I get there, and of course, a woman’s hitting on Zane.”

My muscles relax and my smile becomes genuine. “Why am I not surprised?”

“It’s that martial arts thing.” Shaking his head, Cole chuckles. “I guess there’s just something about it women like.”

“I guess,” I reply. “I’d rather learn to do it than watch, though.”

Then I glance at Cole’s duffel on the grass by his feet and exclaim, “Sorry! You’ve been driving for hours and I’m making you stand out here. Let’s go inside, I can make something to eat—”

Cole coughs. “Um…”

I make a face at him. “I can cook.”

“Are you sure about that?” His brows jump up to his hairline and his lips twitch. “I seem to recall a lot of burned meals whenever you’d offer to cook.”

“Well,” I amend. “I can make some things. Grilled cheese, pasta, soup…”

“Or we could order takeout?”

I laugh, a foreign sound. But it feels good. “Takeout is fine. And I have some Sam Adams…”

“That sounds great. But—” Cole pauses. “First, I was thinking… do you want to take a walk? There’s a park just a few blocks away, isn’t there?”

“Sure.” Honestly, I don’t blame him for not wanting to spend a lot of time in my apartment. With its tiny windows and claustrophobic feel, I don’t love being there either. “We can swing by the deli on the way home, grab some subs, and they have those cookies you like.”

He lifts his chin. “Sounds great, Nor. Let me just throw my bag inside and we can go.”

Less than a minute later, we’re walking down the sidewalk towards the pocket park, which has become one of my favorite places to visit.

It’s cute and cozy, with lush hedges enclosing it on three sides, filled with vibrant flowers and winding stone paths and benches tucked into little shaded nooks.

Even though it’s public, I never feel crowded here.

I can find a quiet spot and just let my mind go blessedly blank for a while.

As we approach the entrance to the park, Cole glances over at me and says, “You look good. I’m not saying that to be weird. But since that last time I saw you…”

“I know.” My cheeks heat. “Even after New Mexico, I was still embarrassingly weak. Just walking around made me tired. But I’ve been jogging every day, and I have a weight set in the apartment, plus I started going to pool at the Y a couple times a week. So I’m feeling a lot stronger now.”

“Good.” His expression sobers. “Not that you need to do anything on a timeline. But I’m glad. That you’re feeling—”

“More like myself,” I provide. “I know how I looked when you saw me all those months ago with Finn.” Stopping just inside the entrance, I step off the the path and look at him, my voice throbbing with sincerity.

“I know how bad I was. I didn’t realize then, but I do now.

And I hate that you had to see me like that—”

“Nor. Don’t apologize.” His eyes darken in empathy. “We were worried. But never apologize. Ever. We’re a team. That’s what we do. When one person is down, we have their six.”

I grit my teeth. I never wanted to be the one needing help. But there I was, wasting away through my own depression and apathy, and it took Finn and Cole to snap me out of it.

More firmly, I tell him, “Thank you for doing that. Making me go. And I’m better now. Truly. Not one-hundred percent, but I’m getting there.”

“Good.” Cole angles his head towards a bench nestled between a small cluster of oaks. “Do you want to sit here?”

“Sure.” As I sit down, he follows my lead. “So, are you going to tell me about this mysterious surprise you’ve been hinting about?”

“Yes. But.” A deep inhale. After he blows it out slowly, he says, “I just have to ask, Nor. Have you considered talking to Jackson?”

“No.” It’s immediate. Adamant. I can feel my walls clinking back into place. “I’m not going to. Please don’t push me on this.”

Cole’s features pinch. “I won’t. I just… I wish you’d think about it.”

“I can’t, Cole. After what I did, I can’t.” The band that’s permanently wrapped around my chest starts tightening. “It’s too late. I can’t. Please don’t—”

“Okay.” Placating now, Cole backpedals. “I won’t bring it up again. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” I give him an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to jump down your throat.”

Then, before I can stop myself, I whisper, “Is he okay? Do you know?”

“He’s okay. We’re friends on social media, so I know he’s alright.”

“Okay.” My heart unclenches a bit. “Okay.”

Changing topics, Cole says brightly. “So. Moving on. My idea.”

“Yes.” Interest sizzles through me. “Some kind of company? And you want to quit your job in Texas?”

“Yeah.” His lips lift. “I’ve been trying to work things out. Trying to figure out if I can swing it financially. But now… I think I can make it work. If…”

“If what? What idea?”

Cole turns on the bench to face me. “You know I had that domestic violence case a few months ago…”

And from there, he tells me everything.

About wanting to protect the people who slip through the cracks. People who can’t afford private protection, or don’t have enough evidence for the police to do anything. People in desperate need of something else.

Cole explains his idea for the business—half paid security work, half pro-bono. He tells me about the office building in Sleepy Hollow, and how he thinks it’s the perfect place to start this business.

“My offer has been accepted,” he said with a pleased smile. “But I have a clause in the contract, I can back out before closing if I need to.”

“Why would you need to?” Interest has me leaning forward.

After a long pause, Cole says slowly, “Because… I want all of you guys to do this with me. For us to be a real team again. I don’t want to go ahead with this without everyone.”

“Who’s in so far?”

“Leo and Zane, and I’m going to talk to Finn and Rylan next. After you, of course.”

Instinct is shouting at me to say yes right away. To be a part of this amazing opportunity. To work with the people I miss so much it hurts. To protect people again instead feeling like a failure.

“They’ll say yes,” I reply through a narrowing throat. Emotion wells up. My nose prickles. “But me… Why? I wouldn’t be…”

Crap. Now tears are threatening. Ducking my eyes, I mutter, “I’m not sure I’m the person you want for this. Protecting people? Dealing with stressful situations? I’m just…”

“What, Nor?”

Dragging my gaze up to meet his, moisture blurring my vision, I whisper, “Why would you want someone who fell apart? I couldn’t handle… you saw what I let myself become.”

“Nora.” Sincerity strengthens his voice. “I have always believed in you. Everyone goes through bad times. But it can make us stronger. It’s made you stronger. I have no doubts about you being on the team.”

He stops and swallows hard. “I don’t want to do this without you. Not without one of my best friends. Not without”—emotion washes over his features—“my sister. I need you, Nor. Will you take this chance with me? With us?”

Oh.

My heart aches, but it’s the best kind of pain.

And the bubble of optimism expands so quickly I’m breathless.

I could be with my team. Do something important instead of hiding away like a coward. Have a chance to become that independent, strong Nora again.

“Yes.” Holding Cole’s gaze, I lift my chin at him. Then I smile. “I’m in.”