Page 30 of Blackwarden

“Your last dinner with me.” He smiled weakly.

It never touched his eyes.

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I had rabbit one more time and I was certain the Gatehouse had outdone itself.

I closed my eyes to savor every bite, chewing slowly, allowing the flavors of harvest to melt on my tongue.

It tasted richer, more seasoned. The vegetables had been cut into little flowers and forest animals.

The wine tasted brighter and more delicious than it ever had.

Keres sat across from me, hardly touching his usual meat and potatoes. There was a deep sadness that clung to his expression, making it hard for me to look at him without fear creeping in and clutching my throat.

“All of the others have been grateful to finally be leaving this place,” Keres finally said, a woeful glint in his eye. “Your emotions are making this difficult.”

A chill slipped down my spine, my eyes welling with tears. Words failed me. Did I need to speak? He knew how I felt. He could feel every scrap of my misery, or glee, or yearning as well as I could.

“It’s time.” He stood and reached a hand out to me. “Come, Ms. Greene. ”

I glared at his hand. The thoughts I’d originally had when I came to this place flooded back through me.

What if I ran? Would the Gatehouse let me leave?

Could I get out of this place and run through the forest and get away?

Did I even want to get away? At least if I went to the Unseelie Court there was a chance I’d see Keres again.

His typical stoic mask covered the sorrow I knew we both felt, and I marveled at how well he could lie with his expression when his words were always true.

I stood, trembling. He held my hand as he led me through the Gatehouse.

It was like when he’d led me to the dining room on the day I arrived.

However, his silence was so foreboding this time.

He took me to a room I’d never entered before. When his hand touched the handle, I heard a lock click open. It was pitch-black inside; no braziers came to life when we entered. The only light came from the hall, oozing over the floor and reflecting off what looked like a massive mirror.

I stopped short after entering the room, watching him walk closer to the strange mirror with confidence in every step.

He’d done this before—countless times. When he glanced back at me, I was too scared to move or take a single step closer.

Instead, I backed up, missing the doorway and bumping into the wall behind me.

I’d seen him move from one place to another using shadows, but it was still startling when he did it now. He stepped into my personal space, and I had to tip my face up to see him as threads of smoke dissipated into the air around us.

“I have to take you, Rosalin.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head and hoping by the grace of the Earth Mother he would spare me, and I could stay.

“Please, Keres.” I didn’t want to beg, but the words poured out of me, every one of them stained with the last year of loneliness and longing I’d endured without Bastion.

“Let me stay with you. I promise I’ll figure out how to break this curse.

” He shook his head, his eyes downcast. “I won’t ask you any more questions until I do.

I won’t bother you if that’s your wish. Just please let me—”

“I can’t.” His voice was sharp, and I flinched back, pressing flat against the wall.

The muscles in his jaw tightened as he glared with anguish in his eyes.

“Please trust me when I say, I wish I could.” He leaned, bracing himself with one hand on the wall, his other cradling my cheek before slipping around my throat.

Leaning down, he pulled me forward by my neck until our lips met. There was anguish in that kiss, a tenderness in the way his fingers wove through my hair. A stolen moment when I knew we were already running late. I was lost in the scent of him, the heat of his body pressed against mine.

When he finally broke away, I was breathless. Some piece of my heart knew this was the last time I’d kiss him. He hadn’t said it, but he’d implied things would be very different on the other side of the portal.

“Please, Keres.”

“Rosalin...” He stepped back, a strength of will I never would have had. “I can’t.”

A sob escaped me as the first of my tears streamed over my cheeks. He was there again, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me away from the wall and into his warm arms. Why? Why couldn’t he break these rules just this once? For me? For himself?

“We need to go.”

I was too lost in my grief to realize he had led me over to the mirror, facing me with his usual confident posture. I swallowed past the lump that was lodged in my throat, past the fear that weighed like a block of ice in my stomach.

“This won’t hurt you...” he hesitated, taking both my hands in his. “And you won’t remember anything on the other side.”

“Wait, what?” I said too loudly, a flash of panic spiking my heart rate. “What do you mean, I won’t remember anything? ”

“It’s for your own good, Rosalin,” he said sternly. “If you can’t remember what you had, you can’t miss it.”

I pushed away from him, glaring with as much fire as I could muster as I balled my hands into fists. “I don’t want to forget. I’ll forget you, won’t I?”

He looked down at his feet. This wasn’t a question he couldn’t answer. This was one he didn’t want to answer.

“Keres. I don’t want to forget you,” I said, refusing to back down. “Please, don’t do this.”

“This isn’t what I’ll look like, Rosalin. I’m Dark Fae, in every sense of the term. I am made of shadows and darkness, I’m terrifying.”

“Keres, I’m begging. Please.”

“I’m the monster in the mural. Everything you know of evil.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to forget you.”

He shook his head. “I need you to forget me.”

I shook my head as I glared at him, tears making it hard to see his face clearly.

Why? Why would he want me to forget? Had I done something wrong?

All manner of memories flooded my mind. My sister’s name.

Bastion’s face. The book of fairy tales.

My parents. Sharing apples from my neighbor’s tree.

The night I’d shared with him. Him. Everything. It would all be gone.

Would I even know who I was?

“Please, Rosalin.” A tear slipped down his cheek. “I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to.” His voice cracked; anguish carved into his expression.

My heart sheared in half. If he didn’t have to ? Dragging me to the Unseelie Court where I wouldn’t remember who he was or what he’d been to me? What I meant to him . He had no choice but to take me and here I was making things harder by begging for what I couldn’t have.

I couldn’t stop a sob from breaking free, and I buried my face in my hands.

Would I remember how my heart broke before I stepped through the portal?

How I’d regretted pushing him away? How I’d spent so much time confirming there was a curse when I should have spent more time figuring out how to break it?

How could I forget?

Shadows built around us, filling the room with wispy black smoke. The mirror, which had been dark a few moments ago, glowed a faint blue as the shadows continued to swirl around our legs.

“It’s time, Rosalin,” Keres said, his voice shaking with emotion as he reached his hand out to me one last time. “Come.”

I wiped the tears from my cheeks before glaring at his hand. It was the first time I didn’t want to take it. When I glanced up at him, my heart broke all over again as his throat bobbed.

This is what I had volunteered to do. I’d volunteered to be the sacrifice to the Dark Fae in Renee’s place.

To be taken to the Unseelie Court. I reached for his hand.

I cherished the warmth of his skin against my own.

I tried to be brave. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for whatever would happen next.

He tucked my hand under his arm, tight against his side as he led me to the edge of the mirror.

When I opened my eyes, we stood before a shimmering pool of liquid silver that pulsed and rippled out from the frame’s edges.

Unlike other mirrors there was no reflection, just undulating colors as Keres’ shadows seeped through the surface.

A sudden spark of fear lanced through me as he tugged us closer.

“Keres, I...” I whispered and he pulled me through.