Page 9

NO ONE’S ALLOWED TO sleep in on moving day. Even with a lot of the games and concessions packed up the night before, it takes most of the crew to dismantle the rides and stands. Not to mention rearranging the trailers.

My job is taking the apothecary down, counting and packing the inventory, and finding Mama.

I haven’t seen her since the other morning when Warrick threatened to make a crown of her bones. The trailer still holds the stench of her addiction, but it’s been less, like she hasn’t been there in a few days.

Not uncommon. If she has the money, she’ll set off into whichever town we’re in and pass out wherever she ends up. Yet, she always seems to know exactly when we’re about to set off and finds her way back. I stopped worrying years ago, but it’s different this time.

I don’t want her to come back.

It’s awful. But it’s been so peaceful without her. The shop cash tin is full. The air still stinks, but I could leave the windows open and clean it out until we can get our own trailer. Something just for us.

My stomach flutters at the thought and I pause in my dish washing to glance at the place we called home our entire lives. It’s never been much, but I keep it clean.

Still, there is too much darkness here. Nights of Mama screaming and babbling incoherently. Nights spent watching Warrick and Aiden fight for dominance where I nearly lost Aiden. Days of Mama’s berating and belittling my every worth.

A human is worthless in a carnival of monsters. My lack of talent made me a liability, a useless cost Mama has to foot. At least Aiden draws a crowd. The most I’ve been able to contribute is running the shop.

“Sera?”

The trailer door swings open, and Aiden sprints up the steps to stand before me. His dark hair is disheveled and damp with sweat. Beads of it dot the hard muscles of his chest. Whatever he’d been helping with had him removing his top so he’s only in his jeans and all that delicious skin.

We fucked twice before he left this morning and still, just seeing him has my pussy aching. I’m beginning to think I have a sex addiction, but only with this man.

“Hey.” I reach for the dish towel and dry my fingers. “Everything okay?”

His dark gaze drifts over me. “Yeah, was helping take Megan’s tank apart for the move. We felt you get sad.”

I blink. “I wasn’t...” I remember thinking of Mama and the overwhelming sadness of being a hindrance. “It’s nothing. Stupid, actually.”

His hands close around my middle and I’m drawn into him. “What’s wrong?”

I start to shake my head. “Really, it’s nothing. I was thinking...” My gaze lowers to the center of his chest. “I hope Mama doesn’t come back.” I dare a peek up at him, expecting to see outrage, but he watches me silently. Waiting. “It’s always so nice when she’s gone. I feel a little like I can breathe and I’m not walking on eggshells.”

“We’ll get our own trailer tomorrow,” he says without missing a beat. “As soon as we stop, you can pick it out. It’ll be ours.”

As if his words have the power to lift the burden off my shoulders, my chest expands. The dread I’d been carting around shifts, and I can think properly.

“I would like that, but I haven’t saved up enough. Between our fees, materials for the shop and Mama, it just hasn’t—”

“We have enough.” He sweeps a lock of hair back behind my ear. “I’ve been putting money aside for us. We have enough for a trailer or if you want to get a house somewhere and raise our family. Whatever you want.”

Unimaginable excitement flares through me as I search his eyes. “Leave the carnival?”

“If you want. We can find something in the mountains, away from people. Just us and our babies.”

Babies. A home that isn’t constantly moving. Peace to build a life.

But away from all the people we’ve grown to love. Our weird little family.

“You don’t have to answer right now. We don’t even have to do it right away. Maybe in the future. We don’t care where we are as long as we have you.”

“A new trailer with heat would be nice,” I say with a little grin.

Aiden returns it with a kiss. “Done.” He kisses me again. Deeper. Longer. “Anything else?”

I loop my arms around his neck and return the peck of his lips. “Just one.”

He groans and lifts me up. I lock my legs around his hips and let him march us to the table. My hands reach for his jean snaps when he sets me down. His drag my top up over my head, baring my breast.

“I had an idea earlier while taking the Funhouse down,” he says while licking a path down my belly.

“Yeah?”

His fingers tug on the snaps on my shorts. “Warrick and I are going to—”

The plan is interrupted by the latch wiggling under fumbling fingers. Aiden has just enough time to step in front of me when the door flies open and Mama staggers up the steps. Her unsteady feet catch the hem of her flowing skirt, and she collapses halfway up. The clatter of plastic beads and wooden bangles fill the silence as she tries to untangle herself and climb the last step.

The overpowering stench of bourbon unfolds into the cramped space, intermingling with the sour odor of sweat and burnt sugar. My stomach writhes beneath the wafting assault, and it’s only the fear of retaliation that keeps me from gagging.

“Where’s supper?” she slurs. “Why is this place a mess?” She tips into the sink and sends the bowl I’d been rinsing off the counter to shatter across the floor. “Stupid girl!” she shrieks, stumbling back from the jagged shards. “Good for nothing. Can’t do anything but open her legs—”

Aiden takes a step forward. “Watch it.”

Mama squints watery eyes up at him. “You’re still here? Don’t ... don’t you have ... where’s my purse?” She locates the green tote hanging off the crook of her elbow and digs out the silver case holding her cigarettes. “Girl, where’s my lighter?”

I start to slide off the table. Aiden sets a hand on my leg.

“Find your own lighter. Sera’s coming with me.” Without taking his eyes off Mama, he scoops my discarded top off the floor and presses it into my hands. “The carnival is leaving soon. You might want to tie this place down.”

My jaw drops the same time as Mama’s, only, despite her alcoholic haze, she snaps out of her shock faster than I can.

“She’s not going anywhere. She’s going to keep her ass in the trailer and get ready. That girl does nothing around here.” With a huff, she stumbles to the drawers under the sink. She yanks open the top one and rifles through the cutlery. “Why do I even keep her? She’s not good for anything.”

I try not to feel the stab of hurt. It’s not the worst thing she’s ever said to me, still, it cuts deep as I drag my shirt down over my head.

“This is the last time you will ever speak to her. She is never coming back. You will stay away from her.” Aiden glances over his shoulder at me. “Get your things, sweetheart. I’m not letting you stay here.”

“You can’t take her! She swore her life to me. So did you.” She locates an old lighter and straightens with it clutched in her gnarled hands. “Because of you, she’s been a stone around my neck. A worthless maw I’ve had to feed and care for, for the last twenty-four years. You should be worshiping the ground I walk on, boy.”

Aiden ignores her and faces me. “You can leave everything and we’ll get you new things.”

“I’m telling you she’s not going anywhere.” Mama lights a cigarette and blows a plume of gray smoke into the trailer. “Without a trailer to anchor her, she’ll be stuck here in whatever shit hole town we’re in. You both will be. You know the rules of the carnival.”

I peer up into Aiden’s face, uncertainty a claw scooping out my insides. “Aiden?”

The warmth of his fingers brush my cheek. “It’s okay. Trust me. Get your things.”

I don’t have much. The handful of clothes I own, a few books, my secret tin of cash I’d been hiding in a box of sanitary napkins. Everything gets stuffed into a duffle that Aiden takes from me once I finish zipping up.

“Ungrateful whore,” Mama mutters around the cigarette perched on her bottom lip. “After everything I’ve done for you. Go. Just remember that the apothecary is mine. You’ll have to sell that cunt of yours. That’s the only thing you’re good for now.”

I feel his rage before he even turns his head to me. It coils off him in tendrils of heat that unspools through the trailer, choking the air and sucking every drop of light.

“Find Mags,” he tells me with an eerie calm that sends chills down my spine. “I’ll be right behind you.”

I want to beg him to come with me. To let it go. But there is no reasoning with Warrick. He’s in control now. The red swirling across Aiden’s irises, the boiling hatred so thick it could be carved with a knife. There is no appeasing him now that he wants blood.

Mama may be drunk, but I know she can sense she’s gone too far. There is fear in the pallor of her complexion. Her murky gaze is fixed on the man planted firmly between us with the trepidation of a prisoner facing the gallows. I think for a second I might feel something, but I strangle it before it can take root.

Aiden presses a kiss into the side of my head before letting me descend the steps to the door. I don’t look back as I let myself out into the sweet warmth of a beautiful afternoon. I draw in a breath laced with pine and the cool whisper of freedom. My gaze drifts to the skeletal remains of my home, the bustle of crew members moving through the chaos, dismantling the park. It’s a beautiful and comforting kind of madness as I move in the direction of the ticket booth.

Halvard glances up from the screw he’s twisting out of the narrow box. His large hands pause in their task, and he hastily nudges the dark glasses on his face higher to shield his eyes.

Given the day I’m shaping to have, I’m grateful; I really don’t want to get turned to stone.

“Hey, Halvard, have you seen Mags?”

The gargoyle lifts his head and glances around us like he might spot Mags hiding somewhere behind a storage bin.

“Kitchen?” he guesses.

I thank him and make my way to the yellow tent. The kitchen is usually the last to get dismantled, but Cook has the chairs collapsed and most of the food packed up when I slip inside.

“Hey Seraphine.” Cook smiles at me from over the grill he’s scraping clean with a metal scraper. “Aiden isn’t here.”

I start to shake my head when Mags hobbles in behind me with an armload of dishes.

“Found these, Cookie,” she sing-songs.

Cook beams, sets aside his scraper and hurries to take them from her. “You’re an angel. Thank you.”

Mags spots me and her withered face breaks into a kind smile. “Hello, sweetheart. Are you looking for Aiden?”

I try to bite my grin back. “He actually sent me to see you.”

Her watery eyes blink as she tries to process why. “Did you need something?”

I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to her. I’m not even sure why Aiden sent me to find her.

“I’m not sure,” I tell her honestly.

“Well, let’s sit for a bit while you think about it.” She moves past me to claim one of the two remaining chairs at the table. “I don’t want you wandering around right now. Some of the townie folk were by earlier this morning asking questions about two bodies they found torn to pieces in the woods.” She drops into the chair with a deep grunt. “The world is just not safe anymore.”

I try not to let it show on my face as I move to join her in the opposite seat.

“They were pretty close to the carnival,” Cook muses. “Probably on their way here to start trouble and some wild animal got them first.” He clicks his tongue. “Not saying they deserved it, but they probably deserved it.”

Mag shrugs a thin shoulder and fixes her gaze on me. “I saw your Mama make her way back. Did she make it to the trailer okay?”

I draw in a breath and give a small nod.

“You know, your mama and I go back a long ways. Long before Aiden came to join us. She was young herself when she—”

“Came to join you?” I interrupt without thinking, and wince. “I’m sorry. Did you say he came to join you?”

Mags hesitates but bobs her head down once. “That’s right. He was ... what? Three?” She darts a glance at Cook who shrugs and nods vaguely. “About three, I’d say. I thought you knew.”

How could I? Mama always made it sound like Aiden was her son. Birthed from her. Like I was.

“So, Aiden isn’t hers?” I press, ignoring the rising heartbeat between my ears.

The uncertainty is unmistakable as Mags exchanges glances with Cook before answering me, “I mean, not by blood.”

“Where did he come from?”

Mags shrugs. “Couldn’t say. It’s been so long. Twenty ... what? Six years? She just returned from town with this little boy. I think she said he was some family member’s kid, and she was tasked with watching over him.”

I’m trying my best not to leap out of my seat and run to find Aiden. I still have so many questions and more rolling in with every second that I’m worried I’ll forget them.

“No one questioned her bringing some random kid to the carnival?”

“Well, of course we questioned,” Mags huffs. “You and Aiden are the only children we’ve ever had here. But it’s not like we ever had a reason not to believe her.”

I have to remind myself that it’s not Mags’s fault. It’s not anyone’s fault, except Mama’s. I don’t know where she brought Aiden from, but I doubt he came from some long, lost family. It wouldn’t be possible. The carnival never makes repeat visits to the same towns. The likelihood of Mama finding a town with family is astronomical.

But the real question is, how am I supposed to tell him?

“Is everything all right?” Mags reaches across the table to set her small hand over mine. “Do you want some tea?”

Cook is already reaching for the kettle, and I don’t stop him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just...” I trail off, at a loss for words.

“We honestly thought you knew,” Mags stresses. “Given how ... close you and Aiden have always been, we thought you knew you weren’t actually related.” She lets the implication hang and my cheeks burn at the meaning behind the raised eyebrow she sends me.

“From the beginning,” Cook insists, saving me from having to answer the unspoken question in Mags’s prodding stare. “He wouldn’t let you out of his sights from the moment you were found.”

I jerk. It’s hard enough that I dislodge Mags’s hold on me as my entire body pivots to face the mountain of a man pulling two mugs from a nearby crate.

“Found?”

Cook stops. His gaze shifts from me to Mags then back with apprehension.

“Sweetie, just how much do you know?” Mags presses gently.

I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know anything as I stare at the pair. The ground I’d walked in on seems to have shifted and I can’t find my footing.

“Sera.” Aiden stands in the tent doorway, still topless and beautiful, but painted in strokes of concern as he takes me in.

“Aiden.” I’m out of my seat and hurrying to him.

His arms are already open before I reach him, and all I have to do is step straight into his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he murmurs into the side of my head.

I should want to ask where Mama is. I should have some curiosity, but it’s the smallest pebble in an ocean of revelations that seem inconsequential.

“You have to hear this,” I tell him, pulling back to peer up into his face.

He says nothing as I take his hand and tug him back to the table and the pair watching us like we’re the ones who don’t make sense, but Mags repeats everything she told me, plus a little extra she hadn’t. The look on Aiden’s face when she mentions him being brought in at the age of three eases some of the turmoil in my gut that I’m not the only one floored by this news.

“Where did I come from?”

Mags shrugs. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m sorry. It was too long ago and there’s been too many new locations since.”

Aiden takes in a deep breath like he’s trying to maintain his composure. “And Sera was found?”

Cook grimaces. “It was bad timing, I think. Someone found you on one of the rides, fast asleep. We think your parents might have forgotten...” He trails off and hurries to get the kettle when it whistles.

“They forgot me?” I murmur softly. “I’m not a wallet. I would think you’d know if you don’t have your baby.”

“I’m sure they didn’t leave you on purpose,” Mags assures me softly. “There are so many variables. I think there’s a good chance they came back to get you, and we were gone.”

But they still forgot me.

“How old was I?”

In the process of dropping teabags into the mugs, Cook pauses to scratch the back of his thick neck. “A year? Maybe less? You were tiny, wrapped tight in a pink blanket.”

“And no one thought to take me to a police station?”

“We found you during moving day. You know we can’t leave the park, and we couldn’t leave you behind. Besides, even if we wanted to give you to the proper authorities, Aiden wouldn’t let us.”

“He put up such a fuss.” Cook chuckles. “He had a firm grip on your car seat and wouldn’t stop screaming until Mama Bloom agreed to take you.”

Behind me, Aiden runs his long fingers through my hair. His thumb brushes my cheek when I tilt my head back to peer up into his face.

“Do you remember? Or Warrick?”

He shakes his head. “He doesn’t. I guess we were all too young.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Mags cuts in. “What is the use of drudging up the past? You’re both healthy and you’re with the people who love you most in the world. Plus, Flora took good care of you, didn’t she?”

At the mention of Mama, I look up to Aiden once more.

“We’ve decided to get our own trailer at the next stop,” he declares firmly.

Mags blinks. “Oh! I mean...” She exchanges glances with Cook. “It makes sense. You’re both young and need your own space, and Flora needs hers.”

“Can we stay with you in your trailer during the move?” Aiden presses, eyes on Mags, and I realize why he sent me to find her. “It would be greatly appreciated.”

Mags’s mouth opens and closes, and I think she’s about to say no, but she splays her hands and offers another bump of her shoulders. “Of course, but what does—?”

Aiden cuts her off. “Thank you. If you need help dismantling anything, I’m happy to help.” Gently, he takes my hand and tugs me out of my seat. “We have a few things to prepare, but we’ll meet you at your trailer before the move.”

He doesn’t give them a chance to respond when he leads me out of the tent.

“Aiden, what—?”

He turns and pulls me into his arms. His mouth finds mine right there out in the open where everyone can see. I’m lightheaded when he finally pulls back.

“Bloom won’t be joining the carnival during the move,” he tells me quietly. “She will never come near you again.”

My heart claps in my chest at the implication of his words. “Is she—?”

He brushes his thumb over my lips. “What she is or isn’t doesn’t matter anymore. Stay away from the trailer.”

My breath hitches in my chest. “Aiden...”

His fingers catch my chin and tilts my face to his. “She was warned, little human. We will not allow anyone to disrespect you.”

I touch the hand on my face. Press the palm against my cheek. “I think part of me understands why she hated me so much. She hadn’t wanted me. She took me because you wanted me.”

“Always,” he murmurs with a skim of his lips over mine. “We will always want you, Sera.”

I suck in a breath and peer up into his beautiful eyes. “We have family out there somewhere who are probably looking for us.”

Aiden considers this a moment, or he’s talking to Warrick before he says, “Do you want to find them?”

I don’t know what I want. The last few days have been a whirlwind with everything happening so fast. I haven’t had a chance to adjust to anything. Now this? Do I want to find the people careless enough to forget their baby in a carnival? Would they even care? At the end of the day, I have Aiden and Warrick, and our little carnival family. The people who actually took care of me, who raised me.

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “Would it make a difference?”

Aiden kisses my brow. “You can always change your mind whenever you want.”

“Do you?” I ask him. “Do you want to find your family? Others like you?”

“Maybe,” he says without even considering it. “It would be interesting. But I don’t really need anyone else in my life. I have you and Warrick, and some day, our kids. I’m content.”

I meet his lips when he bows his head for another kiss. It’s longer and filled with so many promises for the future it takes my breath away.

We may change our minds and find these elusive people from our past, but he’s right, we have each other. Nothing will ever beat that.

THE END

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