Page 7

7

CONFESSIONS

EDDIE

When I came home, Sheri had a bottle of prosecco open and was curling her eyelashes. I was about to ask her where Aaron had disappeared to, but then I remembered he’d planned to visit his grandma this weekend.

“Let’s go out,” she said when I hung my coat on a hook by the door.

I groaned. Here we go again . “Not today.”

“C’mon, Eddie. You know I’ll convince you in the end. Say yes now, and we’ll spare ourselves the time and energy.”

She put aside the eyelash thingy and poured me a glass of the fizzy drink. She clinked it with hers and handed it to me.

“You need to unwind. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard again.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. But that’s okay because you have me, and I’m going to get you laid.”

“Sheri…”

“We’ll go to the dinner club on Twenty-third Street. Maybe your mystery vamp will be there.”

I must have winced despite my effort to keep my cool because Sheri’s face fell.

“Eddie?”

I shook my head and gulped the bubbly. I swallowed too fast, and it nearly made me cough.

“You told me you liked it,” Sheri said, sounding uncertain. “That he was hot and made you come like no one ever. You said you were a little mad at me for dragging you away.”

“We can go somewhere else,” I piped up, desperate to change the subject.

She put her fingers in front of her mouth, and her eyebrows drew together, making her look like a sad puppy. “It was bad, wasn’t it? Eddie, why didn’t you tell me?”

My face was burning. I was such a lousy liar. “Tell you what?”

Sheri’s voice rose in pitch like it always did when she was upset. “Why did you pretend it was fine when it obviously wasn’t!? You can trust me. Please, Eddie. If he did something… There are rules, I told you that. He bit you without asking, didn’t he?”

Oh Lord, she was jumping to conclusions again. “He didn’t. Russel wouldn’t do that. It was consensual.”

She gaped at me. “ Russel wouldn’t do that?”

I took another sip of the prosecco, slowly this time. I could feel her gaze boring holes into my head.

“Spill. Did you go to the club without me to meet the guy again?”

I shook my head and drank the rest of the bubbly. It went down easily this time.

“I haven’t been totally honest with you, Sheri. I’m sorry. Can we talk?”

To avoid her glare, I refilled our glasses and sat on the sofa. I patted the cushion next to me and looked up. Yep, still glaring.

“Please?”

“This had better be good,” she muttered.

“It’s not. It’s awful.”

She sighed as she plonked down by my side. “I’m listening.”

Maybe it would be good to get it off my chest. Or not. I braced myself for the myriad of Sheri’s possible reactions. “Russel Greenwood, my new boss at the agency, is the same vampire I met at the dinner club on Twenty-third when I was there with you.”

Sheri’s eyes got comically big. “You’re kidding me.”

“Neither of us had any idea until he walked into the conference room the Monday after.”

“Fuck me! Are they going to fire you?”

I chuckled, probably sounding bewildered. “No. He didn’t tell anyone. He’s been professional. For the most part.”

That made Sheri squint. “The most part?”

“He tried to flirt a little on the first day, but I quickly made it clear I needed this job and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it.”

“And he went with it?”

“Yeah. But…”

“But?”

“There’s this tension.”

Suddenly, Sheri looked like I had offered her a box of chocolates. “Uh-huh. Keep going.”

“This is bad, Sheri. Stop looking so excited.”

“Can’t help it.” She pointed at her head with both hands, her grin growing manic. “This is the most exciting shit these ears have ever heard. Keep talking, for fuck’s sake!”

I laughed even though my stomach turned, the fizzy liquid inside suddenly like a bomb about to explode.

“I’m screwed.” A small burp escaped me as I said that, and I covered my mouth. Sheri just giggled.

I told her everything.

“I like him. He’s handsome and intelligent and a damned adult, you know? Not a boy, not a dude, he’s a man . He’s around fifty, I think, but doesn’t look it because, hey, vampire. I know you prefer older guys, so I don’t have to explain that to you, but experience is so hot , right? He’s already lived a life and seen stuff I can’t even imagine. He challenges me, and I really have to think when I talk to him because he doesn’t miss a thing. I really really fucking like him, and the fact that I can’t ever have him is making it worse. I think… I have reason to believe he likes me too. Or he’s attracted to me. Or at least he wants to…drink from me again. Which… Sheri, it was the hottest thing ever.”

Sheri bit her lip, her eyes glowing with glee. “Let him.”

“Did you miss the part where I could lose my job?”

“Clandestine, dangerous, hot office affair…”

“You’re not helping.”

“What are the chances, though? I thought this only happened in rom-coms.”

“Because in real life, crazy coincidences like this never lead to anything good.”

“Let’s focus on the important part.”

I nodded, becoming serious. “How to make it through this without jeopardizing my career.”

“No, silly! The important part is he wants you too!” God, she was giddy, and I found it hard to push back against her enthusiasm. It was infectious.

“I don’t know for sure, but…”

“Do tell.”

“I cut my finger today. Just a paper cut, but there was a little blood. Just a drop.”

She groaned. “Oh my God, he must have smelled it. They smell blood immediately. I bet he wanted to bite you.”

“He probably did, yeah. He took my hand, sucked on the wound to clean it, and then he sealed it.”

Sheri put her hand on her chest. “Wow.”

“He moved away from me, but he looked shaken. And I tried not to stare, but there was a distinct tent in his pants.”

“Holy shit, that’s so hot! Did you offer him a helping hand?” She winked.

I jerked back, horrified by the suggestion. “No! I ran out of there like my ass was on fire.”

“ What? I still don’t get it, Eddie. You’re like this genius PR wizard, right?”

“Not really. I…”

“You are. That’s why you have this high-profile job and those super-secret clients you can’t tell me about. You’re a freaking genius. But put a fuckable man in front of you, and it’s like your brain regresses into the seventeen-year-old pimply, clueless preppy boy I first met.”

“This is not about my bumbling nervousness in front of men. This is about ethics!”

“Well, screw ethics. You’re not hurting anyone.” She downed the rest of the bubbly and poured us more. “Fuck, Eddie. I want to be you. Having a hot vampire boss thirst after me at work, the sexual tension in the air, the danger. And I saw him, remember? He is fucking hot . A bit on the melancholy side, but you like that, don’t you? Damn, boy, this is awesome!” She sang the last word as she shook out the last drops from the empty bottle.

“You’re nuts. This is a disaster.” But as the bubbles from the prosecco tingled in my belly, it suddenly felt exhilarating.

“C’mon, it won’t be so bad.” She clinked my glass with hers. “If you cave and have passionate, bleeding sex on his desk, you just have to keep it quiet.”

On his desk? In his dark office with the blinds down. He would prowl forward like a predator, and I’d back away until my ass would hit the edge of the desk… “I can’t. It’s not so simple.”

Sheri was like a dog with a bone. “It is, Eddie. It’s very simple. People break the rules all the time. Only the ones who get caught face consequences.”

“I can’t risk it.”

“You’re already in too deep.” Was I? My eyes widened with fear, but she just patted my cheek. “I’m not dragging you out today under one condition.”

“What condition?”

“We’ll finish the bottle together while you tell me all about Russel.”

“I shouldn’t have told you anything,” I grumbled.

“But you did, and I’m so happy! And there’s another bottle in the fridge.”

* * *

Damn Sheri for putting a bug into my fragile system of denial. Talking to her had made everything more real somehow.

The days passed in a rush, my life a blur as if I sat on a speeding train, and the only sharp image was Russel’s face.

Every time I saw him, I thought of his lips on my skin. At work . It was a nightmare, so why did my heart flutter excitedly whenever he spoke to me? It would have been best to avoid him, but Anthony involved us in three different projects, and I spent half of each day with Russel in the room.

Then it was finally Friday again. Cat and I usually didn’t have time for more than a quick snack in the breakroom or eating from a lunchbox in the terrarium, but once a week, we allowed ourselves a proper forty-five-minute break at one of the restaurants near the office.

Today, I regretted going with her.

“You don’t like Greenwood, do you?” she asked me point-blank as soon as the food arrived.

I froze with my fork in the air. How transparent had I been? “I do. He’s great.”

“Why are you dodging him whenever you can? You ducked out of the breakroom when he came in this morning. He doesn’t bite, you know.” She laughed at her own joke.

“I’m not dodging Russel. I’m with him all the time.”

“When you must, sure. But you’re acting weird around him. He can tell, you know.”

Of course, Russel could tell. I hoped he appreciated my keeping a distance. It was better for both of us.

“I’m not prejudiced against vampires, I promise.”

“I wondered about that too, but now I have a different theory.” She dipped a piece of bread in olive oil and popped it into her mouth.

“Enlighten me.”

She leaned forward conspiratorially. “You’re into him, aren’t you?”

Fuck. Had I been so transparent? “No,” I squeaked.

“It’s okay, Eddie. I won’t tell anyone. But for the record, he is gay. Frank told me, Viv confirmed it, and Greenwood makes no secret of it.”

My stomach clenched. As I studied my half-full plate of Caesar salad, I didn’t feel all that hungry anymore. “I’m not into him. And even if I were, and I’m not, you know the company’s policy.”

She just shrugged. “I don’t think Anthony would make a big deal out of it if he found out.”

“Not a big deal?! I’m not hitting on my boss,” I hissed. “Jesus!”

Giggling, Cat patted my arm. “He’s hot, Eddie. You’re only human.” She smiled wider. “Only human, get it?”

I shook my head. “Can we drop this subject, please?”

But she was on a roll. She was almost as bad as Sheri. “Have you ever been bitten?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Oh, c’mon. Everybody does it these days.”

“Have you?” Please start talking about yourself. Please!

Cat lowered her voice, and her eyes gained an excited gleam. “My cousin took me to the big dinner club that belongs to Levi Castillo. Do you know it? It’s called Aglio, which is Italian for garlic. Apparently, Levi is a funny guy. Anyway, we went on a Saturday, a busy night, and oh my God! Not that there were people outright fucking in there, but not far from it. I swear I saw a girl come humping another woman’s thigh in the line to the toilets. The vampire lady bit her right there, and the girl’s eyes just rolled into her head, her mouth made an O , and she moaned like Meg Ryan over lunch. It was wild. If someone approached me, I don’t know what I would have done, but I was tempted to try. But there were many more humans than vampires in there. It’s super popular, like a freaking buffet for the blood drinkers.”

“And did your cousin hook up with someone?”

Chewing a mouthful, Cat pointed at me with her fork. “Getting there. So. Aglio is on top of a hotel, which is, like, a super clever setup because a bunch of vampires always book a room for the night. So this silver fox approaches my cousin Becca at the bar, and he’s all witty and charming, so after a couple of drinks, she goes with him to his suite.”

“Just like that? And what did she say after? Did she like it?”

“Oh yeah. Best sex of her life.” Crunching on a piece of cucumber, Cat got into the story. “The dude was a lawyer or a stockbroker or something like that. Loads of money. Older, maybe seventy, but you know, they don’t really look old until they’re basically on their deathbed. Anyway. She said he kept biting her in places, just taking these small sips, and I think it kinda, like, made the venom last longer or, like, he kept upping the dose or something. So when he fucked her, she said she was coming for, like, all the time.”

Cat was a great copywriter, but you really couldn’t tell by the way she spoke.

“Anyway, he gave her some kind of drink afterward to, like, restore her strength after blood loss, and dude drew her bath. Can you imagine a hookup doing that? He filled the tub with bubbles and massaged her feet; I kid you not. She let him do her again.” Cat rested her elbows on the table and whispered, “Freaking anal! Straight into the back door over the bathroom counter. He bit her when he was in there, and she said she didn’t know she could come with her butthole, but that’s what happened.”

I coughed to get a piece of salad out of the wrong pipe while Cat continued casually.

“She’s really into anal now. She said there’s nothing like having a guy’s hard dick up your butt while he’s drinking from your neck. And because she’s a slut and a half, she gave him her number. Dude’s not from the city, but he calls every time he’s in town for business, and they have themselves a fuckathon at a hotel somewhere. She doesn’t want a relationship with a vampire. She says she wants a family one day, kids and everything, and even if vampires could have kids with people, most of them aren’t into monogamy. Not the older generation, anyway. But she says that as a fuck buddy, he’s the best. He probably has women all over the country since he travels a lot, but hey, not like vampires can carry STDs, so she doesn’t care. When he’s in town, he treats her like a goddess.”

I didn’t know where to start unwrapping all of that, but my stupid brain replaced Cat’s faceless cousin and her vampire fuck buddy with me and Russel. He’ll draw me a bath and then bend me over the bathroom counter…

“But you haven’t been bitten yourself, then?” I asked, chasing the fantasy out of my head.

Cat deflated with a mighty sigh. “No. There was this one guy giving me the look, but I chickened out when Becca left, and I haven’t been since. I don’t want to go alone.”

“My roommate, Sheri, goes to dinner clubs.”

Cat’s eyes got big. “Really? Like regularly?”

“More or less. I could ask if she’d take you with her someday.”

“Wow. That would be fantastic.”

“I’ll talk to her and let you know.”

“Yes, please! I sound like a total hussy, don’t I? But I keep hearing how amazing it is, and I really want to try it, but, like, in a safe way, you know?”

I shrugged. “I’m not into slut-shaming. Go for it and enjoy.”

“Right? You’re a star, Eddie. Thanks.”

A bullet dodged. Cat got distracted by her upcoming dinner club adventure and didn’t mention Russel again. Except all the talk about venom and anal sex had me squirming.

When Russel intercepted us on our way from lunch, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Eddie, do you have five minutes?”

Why did his voice affect me so much?

Cat looked at me meaningfully, which I ignored. My heartbeat quickened as I followed Russel into his office. It took my eyes a while to adjust to the darkness.

He closed the door and gestured for me to sit. The intimate setting did things to my underbelly, and my stupid dick tingled. I dug my nails into my palms under the desk.

Lucky for me, Russel’s request was one hundred percent work-related. He turned his laptop screen toward me. It was an initial brief, the kind we sent to the client for approval, together with a budget proposal, before we started working on a project. The language seemed pretty standard, but I frowned at the client’s name.

“So?” Russel asked after I’d read the page.

“Sorry, but I’m not sure what you’re asking. Will I be involved in the campaign?”

He shook his head. “It’s not final yet. The client approached us last night, and Anthony left it to me to decide whether we take him on. I haven’t sent the brief and the quote yet because I want your opinion.”

“It’s a good brief. I don’t have anything to add.” Why was he asking for my five cents? Russel had at least twenty more years of experience than me. He could write a brief in his sleep.

“I’m asking you if we should take the job or not.”

I gaped at him. That wasn’t the kind of decision I was supposed to be involved in.

“Eddie?”

“Honestly, that’s above my pay grade.”

“Yes. I intend to talk to Anthony about your salary when I have a more stable footing in the company. But you do have an opinion, don’t you?” He grinned at me like he could see into my head, like he knew me, and it gave me courage.

“Yeah. I do.”

“So?”

“I don’t think we should work with him,” I said. “I’ve seen him in interviews and at a couple of functions, and he’s bad news.”

Russel leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. For some reason, he looked smug. “Why do you think that?”

“It’s a feeling. A vibe. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Explain, please.”

He asked, so I was going to answer. “He’s rude to female reporters and dismissive of women in general, and that’s never a good sign. If he’s accused of sexual misconduct or worse one day, I won’t be surprised. He jumps in and interrupts people who have way better things to say than he does, says vaguely sexist and racist stuff, and when you call him out on it, he tells you that you should learn to take a joke or starts preaching about living in a free country. His social media feed is just macho posturing and reposting of random conspiracy theories. He’s a bully and a jerk, and I don’t think we should do a campaign convincing people he’s not.”

Russel smiled. “Thank you, Eddie. I’ll tell his rep no, then.”

I couldn’t help but feel suspicious about all of this. “Just like that? Because your most junior hire said so?”

“I had a bad feeling about this one, and you confirmed it. You’re right. We shouldn’t do an image-improving campaign for someone whose behavior will be impossible to justify. Besides…” He put his arms on the desk, staring at me with a crooked smile on his face. “I’m the newest hire.”

Chuckling, I pointed a finger at him. “Not junior. How old are you, anyway?”

Russel’s smile turned sad. “Fifty-seven.”

“Oh.” Had he been human, I would never have guessed him to be more than forty—vampire genes. But he looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes, and the brackets in the corners of his mouth looked sharper. Those pale golden eyes… “That’s not old for your species, though.”

“No.” He stared back, unmoving.

My throat got dry.

I broke eye contact and braced myself to stand. I had to get out of there. “Do you need anything else from me?” I sounded breathless, but Russel didn’t call me out on it.

“Thank you, Eddie. That’s all.”

“Okay. Thanks for trusting me.”

“I’m just being smart, asking the most competent people for input.”

I blushed at the compliment. How could I not? Nodding like a bobblehead, I backed out of his office before I could make a complete fool of myself.

I came home late and exhausted, but that didn’t stop me from paging through the vampire book again. The paleness of Russel’s eyes and his obvious tiredness bothered me, but the only chapter that mentioned eyes in the title was about hypnosis.

Vampire eye and thrall as a means of seduction

How powerful sexual arousal vampire venom can cause depends on many factors. Individuals react differently to the venom from the same vampire. Some researchers speak about different levels of compatibility and mention even hormonal cycles and testosterone levels. How much and where on the body the vampire injects the venom affects the speed, intensity, and longevity of the effect. However, there exists zero scientific proof that vampire eyes have hypnotic potential.

The myth about thrall —a vampire’s power to induce a hypnotic state and make a human follow their orders—exists in multiple cultures under different names. The likely root of this ideation is the noticeable change in the hues of vampiric irises. The eye can go from pale silver (for myths about starving vampires, see the chapter Bloodlust ) to warm copper during the feeding. Let’s imagine a human holding eye contact with a vampire while being bitten. The arousing effect of the venom arrives while the hues in the eye of the vampire are changing. The conclusion that the physical effect the prey is experiencing is connected to the vampire’s eyes doesn’t seem far-fetched.

I flipped to the table of contents and found the chapter on bloodlust. The first paragraph was enough for me to understand what was going on. Russel was hungry.

Uncontrollable aggression caused by bloodlust in a starving vampire is a figment of human imagination. Starvation is accompanied by apathy and general weakness that make it increasingly difficult for a vampire to find prey and feed. Depending on age, a vampire begins to feel uncomfortable hunger ten to fifteen days after feeding. Starvation symptoms arise after three weeks: lethargy, muscle pain, headaches, disrupted sleep, and even depression. The most obvious sign is the loss of color in their eyes; the golden hues recede, replaced by silver and gray tones. Vampires have been known to starve for months without enduring permanent physical harm but suffering significantly during. A starving vampire eventually enters a catatonic state, which is terminal without medical intervention.

Vampires cease experiencing hunger toward the end of their lives. On average, they are aged one hundred fifteen to one hundred twenty when they feed less often until they eventually stop searching for prey. Such passing is peaceful compared to involuntary starvation at a younger age.