Page 3 of Bite Me
I grabbed a ball that was slightly lopsided and offered it out to them. “You two can split this one.”
“Gee, thanks. Your generosity is limitless.” Mark rolled his eyes, but Chet reached out, taking the ball and pulling it in half.
“Don’t look a gift Jesse in the mouth, isn’t that the saying? Fuck, these are good,” he added around a mouthful.
I nodded at Chet, clearly the smarter of the two. “Exactly. Beggars can’t be choosers.” Then I prodded one of their shopping bags. “So what’d you end up going with? Lemme guess—” I squinted at Mark. “Tragic trust fund baby on a vendetta and—” I considered Chet next. “Misunderstood villain, also on a vendetta. So, basically John Wick and the Joker?” I tilted my head, and Sam snickered.
“Nope. Better,” Mark replied, blowing past my tease. He reached into the bag and pulled out a smaller plastic costume bag, displaying the picture and label on the front.
My face fell. “Really? A Roman gladiator? That’s the big reveal?”
Look, I fucking loved Halloween. Loved it, capital L. It had been my favorite holiday since I was a kid. Not only because it gave me a legit reason to really lean into my love of costume, role-play, and frippery, but also because it was one of the few times me and my siblings didn’t have to share with each other. We all got our own candy sacks, all shuffled up to the door at the same time, and all got our own candy. I once heard that folks in our neighborhood eventually just started buying an extra bag of candy solely for our family. Anyway, I still got super into planning my costume for Halloween, and probably too invested in other people’s costumes, too. I tended to go all out and get unintentionally judgy when other people didn’t. But come on, a Spirit of Halloween-issue Roman gladiator costume? So fucking trite.
“Uh, what’s wrong with a gladiator? They’re awesome. Bloodthirsty, resilient. We have Roman blood in my family, you know.” Mark stopped himself, narrowing his eyes at me. “I kinda thought you’d be all over this one. I mean, it involves leather, there’s a skirt…” I considered for a moment. I did like leather. And skirts. “But it’s not just a gladiator costume anyway, so fuck off. We’re going as Achilles and Patroclus.”
“Shit,” Sam chimed in. “Okay, that’s actually a pretty cool idea for a couple’s costume.”
“A little dark, maybe.” I sniffed derisively, but fuck, okay, it wasn’t the worst. It was maybe even a little sexy. And it definitely fit. I swerved a look in Chet’s direction. “Where’s yours, then?”
“It’s in there,” Chet said, and Mark reached into the bag, this time pulling out a handful of white fabric.
“A… bedsheet? Dude, you got shafted.” I cracked up.
“It’s gonna be a short toga, and it’s budget-friendly. Okay? Just wait. It’ll turn out cool.”
“We’ve got other accessories to add to it,” Mark said defensively, then cocked a brow at me. “What are you going as, Judgy McJudgerson?”
“Dr. Frank-N-Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” I flashed them an imperious smile. I’d been planning my costume since the day after Halloween last year.
“Shit, okay, that’s pretty badass,” Chet said, but I thought he was trying to distract me with the compliment, because at the same time he said it, he reached behind Mark to grab a piece of licorice off the counter. It worked, though. Fuck my weakness for praise. It got me every time.
“Yeah, I know.” I preened.
“I can’t wait to see it on you,” Sam said. Chet and Mark both tilted their heads at him at the same time. “I mean, I saw the movie once and really liked it. Tim Curry was great, and you’re always so good at details, so…” He trailed off as we all continued to stare at him—Chet and Mark in befuddlement, me with amusement. A mere two weeks ago, the two of them nearly busted Sam railing me in the laundry room during our stuck-in-a-dryer scene—which turned out to be wildly fucking popular—but they still seemed completely oblivious to what we’d been up to. All of my roomies were, actually, which was how I preferred it. “I’m just saying it’s a cool costume. Fuck off,” Sam finished.
“What are you going as?” Chet asked, and Sam made a face.
“Yeah, spill it.” I’d been asking Sam for the last few days since the Sigma Halloween Bash was tonight and we were all going, but he’d been weirdly vague.
“Still not sure yet. I’ve got a few options. I’ll probably just decide on the fly. ‘Sup, Cam!” He lifted his hand for a high five, seeming eager to reroute the conversation as Cam came in through the back door.
Cam slapped him a five and nodded to the rest of us. “I’m just here to change real quick. I can’t hang. Ohhh, rice krispy balls!”
“Pumpkins,” I corrected, but picked out one and handed it to him. He’d told me earlier in the week he was pulling a double shift on Halloween at the cafe he worked at for extra dough, but I suspected it was also because he didn’t want to be around a bunch of drunken dumbasses and the temptation of booze or drugs, which would be plentiful on campus tonight. “It’s a pity pumpkin,” I told him, ignoring the errant glares of everyone else. They could suck it. He deserved a pumpkin krispy. “Sure you don’t want to call out sick tonight and go to the Sigma party instead? I’ll be your sober buddy.”
“Yeah, me too,” Sam jumped in.
Chet and Mark exchanged a glance, then Mark cleared his throat. “We’ll also go sober.”
Cam’s lips parted, eyes softening. “I… fuck. That’s really nice of y’all. But I really do need the dough, so I’m gonna sit this one out.”
“Alright, man,” Chet said. “But if you change your mind, the offer stands.”
“Okay.” Cam glanced down at his phone and muttered a curse. “I’ve gotta get changed. I’ll catch y’all later. Be safe.” He started toward the door, then turned back, flashing us another warm smile. “Seriously, that was really fucking nice of y’all to offer. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime,” I said, and thought I spoke for all of us. Mark hadn’t been super keen on Cam moving in with us a month ago, but the dude mostly kept to himself, kept his head down, minded his own business, and he always pitched in to keep the kitchen clean, something I definitely appreciated. I liked him a lot.
Once Cam was gone, I made a shooing motion at the crew around the island. “Everyone needs to go away. I need to get this shit finished.”